Morning stretching exercises !

This might be a purple rumped female Sunbird, because its pair too was seen together in the same cluster of dry branches on the top of a tree. 

I watched this bird in its morning ritual of stretching and grooming. I thought that this bird was doing most of the cat stretching exercises suggested in the Feldenkrais regimen of movement through awareness exercises.

The bird paid attention to its neck, spine and wings. It was a breath taking sight for me this morning!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

The grooming bird!

One chore I watch birds perform early in the morning is the ritual of grooming. Most birds shake their body to get rid of dust, water and everything that is foreign in the feathers. They also use the beaks to complete the grooming.

Prayer times are like an inner grooming exercise. It is in silence we get in touch with our thoughts, feelings, fears, stress, guilt, anger, etc. To create time for silence, when we can allow the inner world within us to become known to us, is a good way to start the day. 

One consciousness I receive during such set part times in silence is the space fear occupies in my inmost being. Fear restricts freedom. 

I came across in my reading something that helped me to go on a journey to demystify fears within. Lucretius (96-55BC), a Latin writer wrote a poem, De Rerum Nature, 'On the Nature of Things', which appears in six books.  Gerard W. Hughes in his book, 'Cry of wonder' referring to this poem  wrote about Lucretius: 'His vocation was to set people free from their fears, because he was aware of the damage we do to ourselves and to others, when we allow fear to become dictator of our lives'!

What is the origin of  fears of different streams in our lives! When a family came with their two years old child for  consultation, the child preferred to wander about in the room and explore. Parents not being comfortable with it asked him to sit in the chair. As he refused to comply to their repeated requests, the father said, 'doctor would give you an injection if you do not sit quiet'. Instantly the boy came close to the mother and sat still. I remember hearing  parents tell their children when they do not like to eat one particular food, 'the police man would take you away if you do not eat'! When a child refuses to sleep, the remedy some parents use is to say, 'I will tell your teacher and she would punish you' !

We have grown up fearing all sorts of people, events or situations in our lives! As we do not take an inventory of such accumulated fears from our childhood, we live constrained by these fears! Most of our dreams are centred around our fears or stressful experiences. 

One exercise that I have been consistently engaged in is to find the roots of my fears! Fear clouds our perception and inhibits us to use all the opportunities that come to us. 

When we find our own way to 'shake off' the fears that have gripped us, we would find a new strength to live and envision! 

'Fear Not' is an oft repeated words of Jesus of Nazareth to His followers!   

The post retired season is prone to create the fear of being not needed or valued! So it is good to be conscious of new winds of fear befalling us! It is possible to live free of fears when we grow in the consciousness of 'who we are and whose we are'!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The weight of Truth!

Every flower in the rose plants in our garden is on a drooping stem! Is the wight of the flower causing the stem to droop! The bud is on a straight stem and by the time it opens to be flower it bends in one direction at least mildly!

Our opinions also have an inclination towards what we perceive as the truth!

Truth is not always the deciding factor to influence our opinions.

There is the inherent truth and the projected truth.

 There is a debate in public space about unemployment numbers in India. The government quotes a number which is far less than what the independent sources quote. A difference of almost fifty percent. 

Even the news papers question the number put out  by the government ! The international agencies and others who hold on to higher number might also be not sharing the whole truth.

It is here we are not able to find the inherent truth and feel driven by the projected "truth"!

The political space in India is occupied by untruth or half truth or distorted truth. The political orientation becomes the model for others for justification of concealing the truth.

When truth is not at the centre, there is sanction for deceit, distortion and decline of morality.

A retired justice of the Supreme court, whom I know personally once told me that the judgements of the Supreme Court also might not represent the full truth. Th court decides on the merit of the arguments brought to its attention. So there is a risk to justice when it is not founded on truth.

Jesus of Nazareth made a statement, 'I am the truth..' ! Mahatma Gandhi said, God is truth.

There is a new dimension about truth, which the statement of Jesus brings to our attention: Is my whole being the truth, not just what I say or do alone!

When the light within is truth, then all of our being lives and relates this truth.

I had a glimpse of this truthfulness when a father confessed about his habitual abuse of his son under the influence of alcohol. He relates soberly when he is not under the influence of alcohol. Truth is a casualty when we live our lives under some extraneous influences. Religious intolerance, party ideology, caste prejudice, personal success, pursuit to dominate others etc. are such extraneous influences which dull our conscience and cause us to live with distorted truth! 

Living the truth in Love and speaking the truth in love make truth endearing to others around us! That is how truth becomes a light to lead others to truth without judgement, accusation or humiliation!

The weight of truth is the integrity it offers to our lives!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Drongo, Owl and Barbet !

I am now familiar about the places in the trees in our garden where a Drongo and an Owl can be found at sunrise! I have noticed a few times that it seems that birds too have their preferred locations. The territorial claims birds make by frequenting their familiar sites is well known. 

What makes me curious is their composed presence which spare them from being noticed after the ritual of selfceare of their body is over!  

I have wondered whether they locate themselves in their favourite sites for  sunbath to dry their body! 

This is almost a fact since I noticed a Barbet too in a similar place for sunbath with its drenched body! I decided to wait till the Barbet had dried its body to get a glimpse of its post-bath ritual! Unfortunately a crow disturbed it and it flew away into the horizon.

One of my struggles when I have to welcome parents for consultation is to become familiar with the habits or rituals of children to understand the home environment. 

Most  parents do not follow a routine schedule of sleep hygiene,  bedtime reading practices, meal time rituals, play times, family times, etc. In some families the TV programmes condition the behaviour and timing of rest of the activities of adults and children.

When children grow up in such a loosely structured environment, where their choice alone dominates, children get into the habit of grabbing their choices somehow.

One habit children develops to get their likes approved by parents is to be insistent in an incremental way, which some refer to as 'temper tantrums'.

When a child of five years insisted to have the mobile phone to watch cartoons during the consultation, the father gave in and mother refused to yield. This made the child roll on the ground and scream. I could see the child gauging the impact of the loudness of his cry to sense if there was favourable response from the mother! It went on for five minutes. I encouraged the parents to let the child 'wind down'. At one stage the stern voice of the mother helped to seize the opportunity from further escalation. 

After all these, when my colleague was engaging the child in the other room, the parents told me that they view such situations differently. Father yields to the child's 'deamnds'and mother resists.

This led us to have conversations about the upbringing of the parents. Father grew up in  a 'permissive' environment without guidelines for desirable childhood behaviour. Mother from early childhood was introduced to 'boundary setting' with routines and rituals which made it easy for children to conform. 

Human behaviour is an extension of childhood behaviour.

Behaviour is nothing but a pattern in formation !

That is why I was fascinated by the rituals of these three birds. They have a pattern to their daily rhythm.

I know of a Bishop who after getting up every morning would walk five kilometres which he started thirty five years ago. It is during this time he meditates, prepares some of his talks and recalls people who needs his attention. He told me that such a practice adds to his wellness. 

I am learning more about the rituals of some birds which reinforce to me that living well includes following good rituals.  

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Where does this music come from!

It took a good mount of search in our property among the tall trees, covered from all sides with foliage, to spot two Magpie Robins perched in two trees away from each other, singing to each other!  Was it a prelude to becoming a pair!

I tracked these Robins for a while when they moved between trees. They chose to perch in branches which looked bare and dry!

Where does this music come from!

I remember listening to an Indian born British composer during a concert in the British Council, Chennai, perhaps in 1989, when he talked about his composition about a court scene in  a King's chamber from a story in an ancient Indian literature.

Many musicians were called in to play before the king. After they all performed there was a musician with visual impairment who started playing his violin. The first string broke after a while, then the second and finally one string was left and the violinist kept playing. The music became even more melodious and inspirational to the listeners. The large gathering in the King's court listened to this music just with one string left in the violin with the music becoming a melody as never before! This composer told the audience, 'This is music, when it is  from within' !

Our Older son Arpit who was a attending a workshop led by this composer, was taken up by his piano recital, repertoire of composition and stories behind his composition, that he gave a serious thought to study music full time! He did pursue completing his formal training with Royal College of Music, London, in music theory and piano recital. Our younger son Anandit trained himself in flute and trumpet and passed his music examinations.

As these Magpie Robins sang to each other, the above story returned to me with freshness. 

I have no musical background where as Anna learned violin and used to be in the orchestra during her student days at CMC Vellore. With a recent acquisition of a good violin, Anna has returned to playing. 

Music becomes a melody in our soul when, we get tuned to the song from within. There is a song within each of us. When that song resonates within when we listen to music, there is an inner harmony!

When does what others tell us become A music like that! Even a conversation can quicken us to feel the inner resonance of harmony!

I have pondered over it a lot in the recent weeks! When does speaking becomes less than a communication! When speaking is to project oneself or acquire the space of acceptance, it looses its appeal to cause a resonance within us or in others. In a true sense speaking is self giving! In the Pauline reflection, speaking is to bring grace to the listener's ear (Colossians 4:6)!

We reach out to others, when our speech edifies others with more attention on them rather than being on ourselves. 

One Biblical verse, which brings an inspirational challenge to me is: 'Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself' (Philippians 2:3)! While I know that this calling is still cerebral to me, I have been in pursuit to making this my habit during conversations. 

These two  Robins brought music to my soul and clarified the intent of any communication! They shared love between them in singing to each other!

It is in listening, we behold others in love and mindfulness!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Photoblog: childdevelopmentashirvad.blogspot.com

Message of Life !

I was on my regular walk in the garden when this sight of a bunch of rose flowers dragged me to look at it closely- one fully open flower and two in an early stage of opening and the fourth one in a fading stage! 

With the heightened tension at the Indo-pakistan border, there is a lot of conversation in the media around war, wounds and death. 

All these flowers are found in one rose plant. The rose plant would have had several flowers opening and fading away during this season. 

If there is birth, there is death, a dual reality that makes life most significant. The reality is that birth and death co-exist. In each of our lives there is the birth of new experiences, insights, relationships, etc. and decline in our memory, wellness in the body, breakdown of relationships, etc.

What is fascinating and refreshing is how inspite of this paradox in our lives,  each of us is endowed with an innate resilient spirit that wants to seek  after the wellness of others. Late Dr Mary Varghese, the founder of the department of the Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation at CMC Vellore, suffered spinal cord injury while studying medicine which made her wheel chair bound. She ceased to be well bodily, but within her was an indomitable spirit which made her to offer her hands to take care of others with spinal cord injury! It was 'death' of her normal ability which brought forth a life giving ability in the service of others.

It is from the chaos of 'death' of something important for us, something creative and extra-ordinary can emerge, that can bring forth abundance to others.

I passed by this rose plant where all the flowers except one were fading away. The flowers lived their term. This brought to my attention the transitoriness of life! I met a family recently who lost their two children 15 and 13 years while playing football. The ball fell into the river and one of them got in to fetch it. He was washed away and the older boy jumped into water to save his brother. But he too was lost in the current of water. This domain of reality of death or 'near death' experience alerts us to live soberly, responsibly and altruistically. Our life is conditioned by the reality of the end of life now or later! This consciousness raises within us a call to live resonating goodness, mercy and benevolence. I feel conscious of this reality as I am in the seventh decade of life. One exercise I do every week is to write at least one letter of appreciation and acknowledgement to friends from my medical college days onwards. What if I would not have another opportunity! Now that, I have reached out to about fifty and another 150 or so are remaining, I am drawn by a sense of nearness to most of them. Life gives us the gift of relationships.

When I turned back to return, I happened to notice this plant with two buds in two different stages of maturing to open. That brought back the hope of how life triumphs over death. Death is only a transient narrative, although an authentic narrative. Death is not the final reality. It is transition to life of abundance in another dimension. The eternal dimension gives us a new perspective to our daily living. 'The good we can do, let me do it now, let me not defer it..' is a statement that I have treasured in my heart since my college days. Dr C.K.Eapen, who is in his eighties and works full time in the hospital, once told me, that 'I come to hospital to celebrate life with others I meet' It sounded too solemn to be an impulsive statement. It came forth as his vocation.    

I felt uplifted by the visit to the garden in our courtyard, because the buds and flowers in different stages became an anchor to my soul. I have felt some weariness on account of some existential challenges recently.  

I am glad that it is joy and hope of life and living that  reside in my consciousness now!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Photoblog: chidldevelopmentashirvad.blogspot.com

Red whiskered Bulbul

It is the first time I noticed a red whiskered Bulbul family in our garden this morning during this nesting season. I remember seeing single ones occasionally.

For many familiar birds that frequent our garden, there is enough trees for them to choose to nest.  But there is lot of activity in our garden due to workers still building the walls and doing other work. This is likely to disturb the birds in making our garden their home during the nesting season. 

I watched this pair on an 'inspection flight' to seven or so trees and finally leaving the garden across the paddy field. Till I spot them again, I shall wait in suspense.

What is special about the red whiskered Bulbul is their striking musical notes in the birdcall. I noticed both the birds give away their musical bird calls melodiously.

It is an exceptionally joyful experience to have birds nest in the garden. The birds of the air need a home. 

For the last five years, I approached three carpenters to make wooden nesting boxes to hang them on trees to attract sparrows to stay in the garden. They are yet to make them.   

What is a green unless it also home for the birds, butterflies, dragon flies!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Photoblog: childdevelopmentashirvad.blogspot.com