6th Anniversary events

The first in the series of events in connection with the sixth anniversary of the department of the developmental paediatrics and child neurology was a parent's meeting. It concluded with singing the inspirational song, 'We shall overcome'!  We were grateful for the help of the medical students to take care of children.

I found my colleagues at their best, in planning, making presentations on 'planning for childhood transition' and illustrating them through skits and demonstrations.  

As I listened an watched all these, I remembered three significant aspects of my personal journey. 

This child development at MOSC medical college was the fifth initiative, for creating a specialty of service in child development. It began with two centres at Chennai, one each at Nagpur, Vellore, Pondicherry and Kolenchery. The initiative at Pondicherry did not sustain itself after three years. The centres in other places flourish in providing services for children with different innovations in a commendable way. 

The second inspiration which refreshed me was remembering about eighty or so colleagues with whom I have had the privilege of growing up while developing ideas, creative approaches and defining a wholistic approach to Child Development. One former colleague now in the United States of America, a psychologist  in human resource support role, sent a message yesterday recollecting the experiences of planning for the development of services at CMC Vellore.  

The third inspiring aspect is the story of hundreds of parents who have kept in touch through revisits and sharing their journey of insights during their accompanying journey with their children. It was often parents who expounded and expanded dimensions in child development that I had to explore to reach out to them in response to their needs!  That is how interests in shared parenting, sleep related matters, non formal early education, craniosynostosis, handedness, electrical rhythm dysfunction, behavioural transitions in childhood, co-morbidites that compound developmental needs, etc came up as issues to explore. I feel grateful to parents who challenged me in these issues and some other areas, because of which most of my forty years in child development journey were associating informations to make sense.

I feel most grateful to the current team of colleagues who make my association with developmental paediatrics and child neurology at MOSC Medical College stimulating! 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

After a month of flood!

It is now one month, since the flood receded after causing devastation and deluge in different parts in the state!

Yesterday, I watched the farmers working on a farm, a man ankling at the end of the day and the cows grazing on the filed!

Yes, life is returning to some order after a month long recovery for thousands of people. 

Life is generally sedentary in a village! Yesterday, all these activities I noticed was in the field or  in  stream, which were submerged in six feet water for about five days. 

I had a conversation with a shop keeper yesterday. The shelves in his shop looked bare! He does not have enough customers nor enough money to replace goods. He lost all his household goods and his neighbours too in the flood!

So life is in disarray and distress for many!

In the midst of all these, I sensed the resilience of the farmer and the angler to return to the rhythm of life!

The story of human life is one of loss and gain... life is a journey through a blend of experiences!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Batch of 2015 !

The of medical students of the MOSC Medical college belonging to the batch of 2015, is engaged in a restoration initiative at the college campus. A recreation park which was not in use for ten years or so, with facilities for leisure time occupation for students, adjacent to their hostels is now getting a new look and is getting ready for immediate use. In fact yesterday, it was officially declared open for use. 

I visited the site a few times during the last ten days, when it was getting spruced up with the students of the batch of 2015 spending their evening hours- painting, weeding, trimming, cleaning, restoring a pond in the centre, etc. I was taken up by their enthusiasm and  imagination. 

One particular initiative which to me, was exemplary was recycling of the plastic water containers, for growing plants. The plastic containers were reshaped into different shapes and are hanging on the walls with flowering plants! 

The leadership of the college union, which is a body of students to provide leadership to the extra curricular activities in the college is handed over to one batch students each year. This year, it falls on the batch of students of 2015.

This batch of students was earlier involved in planting trees in a patch of unused land in the campus and now in restoring this park! They are certainly environmentally conscious. I remember receiving considerable help from some students in the developmental paediatrics and child neurology department, for organising the yearly badminton matches.  They seem to have a self giving temperament!

Some students from this batch drop in for conversations now and then, which is also special. They enquire about issues related to 'preparing to be doctors while in training'!

This batch of students bring their mark of presence in the college life in  special way! Anna and I feel grateful for having had some contacts with students in each batch from the time we joined the college in 2012 !

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

I almost missed it!

I was on a morning walk after the drizzle to look for water drops hanging from the leaves. That was when I noticed the lantana flowers outside the kitchen.

It was only when a butterfly got disturbed by my presence, I noticed its presence!

It is likely that we go through the daily chores not noticing some events of significance! I feel such instances are too many, when we feel pressured by many things to do! Most of us have many things to do, however one might try to keep things in order. 

One experience I begin to trust more is the value of being still or pausing in between. That is how one returns to be in touch with oneself to have a personal audit of order and wellness. 

Yesterday, a colleague asked me yesterday, 'are you under any pressure'? Yes, I was under pressure due to the undergraduate lecture that I had to take at 2 pm. Although I was ready with the content of the lecture, I felt anxious as to how I might be received by the students! As students do not come to my specialty for their clinical posting, I have limited contacts with them. Except a few who keep in touch with Anna and myself for personal reasons, there is a strangeness with the present batch of students. Now that Anna is not involved as the research co-ordinator, all forms of formal contacts with students have declined.  Why should students reach out to some of us who are much older, when there are limited natural opportunities! 

So it is for the faculty to create those opportunities. Dr Rex, the former Dean, of the college suggested to Anna and myself to explore if a foster parenting process can be introduced for helping students in their formation! The Dean formally proposed to the faculty and even prepared the list of the faculty who might be able to offer this support for students. After four years, Anna and I have found the contact with about twenty student valuable. Some personal conversations and formative engagements do take place when we meet for the foster fellowship. 

One foster student mentioned to me that it is difficult to break the 'hierarchy' that exists between students and the faculty! Also there is suspicion about the intention of the faculty! In fact one student of the first foster group mentioned to me once that, 'The students wondered whether our interest in students might be because of a reason for benefit'!

While at CMC Vellore, the foster students were like family members who ket in touch and got involved in our lives. They found it normal to drop in and share in the tea times or meal times and thought of us as their companions. Some of them who are in their thirties and forties living in different places still reach out to convey their thoughtfulness. I received a message this morning from two such friends remembering us.

During this journey of life, we can appear 'busy' and carry on and live unaware how much we miss because we do not live vigilantly. The is what happened when I almost missed the butterfly this morning!

So when I went for the lecture, I wanted to make it as an opportunity to open myself to them with regards and welcome for building relationships. That did yield some good outcome. One student came to visit to speak about the lecture and share briefly about some experiences. Another of couple of students came to invite me for the inauguration of the park they are renovating in the college campus. Another two students came to invite for the formal occasion of the installation of the new college union. 

I have had some difficult conversations with students on certain matters such as initiation of fresh students, approach to learning, meeting etiquette during public meetings, inter-batch relationships, cheering instead of jeering during performances, etc. Such conversations seemed to build some relationships. But it has not gone beyond! 

The faculty-student relationships are being redefined in many institutions. The educational institutions in the recent years have become more focussed on preparing students for employment! The formative and personal all round development do not receive sufficient quality of input from the faculty! In the medical colleges, the students have begun to join for preparation classes, organised by private agencies,  for entrance test for the post-graduate examinations.  This suggests that from the time a medical student joins the medical college, the focus is on getting into post-graduate training rather than make student life to be an experience of transition from being a medical student to a doctor. Most students take two or three attempts to get into post-graduate admission, during which period they are fully engaged in academic learning through coaching programme. For about two or three years after finishing the qualifying examination, the focus is on class room learning in the coaching centres! If almost 100 percent of students have to go through the full time coaching programme, which is financially demanding on them without a salary, then we have already rewritten the earlier emphasis of skill and personal development during the early years of medical education! 

During my involvement in the governing council of CMC, Vellore from 2013 to 2017, I made an effort to resist this trend for medical students and free CMC from this memory based entrance test for the post-graduate admission and stay with one CMC used to conduct of fifty or so years where clinical, reasoning and observational skills were tested to qualify for the post graduate admission. Now even CMC Vellore has to conform to the national entrance tests. 

I get a sense that the next generation of doctors begin their medical service with heavy debt of bank loans, which they have incurred for their undergraduate and post graduate trainings and coaching for the entrance tests.  They feel burdened by this obligation to clear their debts and therefore are less socially sensitive to make their service as an offering to the most needy! 

It is this additional reality which invite Anna and myself to be even more involved with students so that they have conversational opportunities to explore their own call and sense of purpose in being doctors. 

Anna and and I celebrate all the opportunities for doing it. I hope we relate to students thoughtfully, caringly and self-givingly! 

Even this is at risk of losing, if we condition our availability to the students based on the immediate outcome! Being with students informally is an investment for their formation! I draw a lot of encouragement from Anna for this, as she is naturally oriented towards the students!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)  

A wayside flower garden!

I stopped to watch a row of flowers along the boundary wall on the  front side opposite to a house ! A gentle man, Mr George,  came to greet me and said,' I like to keep the environment clean. The tis why I planted these flowering plants. I do this every year. Therefore there are flowers for at least six months of the year'!

He seemed happy that I stopped to take a look at the flowers and take some photographs. 

This is an unusual spirit!

Keep the environment clean! An example par excellence!

M..C.Mathew (text and photo) 

Seven positions in one minute!

I was for some reason driving slow this evening on the way back home from work. I noticed this butterfly on the lantana flowers. Although I did not have a suitable lens, (sorry for not so sharp pictures) I tried capturing the movements during one minute to get closer to the body positions a butterfly takes. Most butterflies have similar positions while feeding on honey!

This was a fascinating and demanding experience. I turned the camera in to it automatic setting and rapid shooting mode! The camera was not quick enough to focus corresponding to the movements of the butterfly!

Their movements are flutters, so fast and jerky! 

It was then it dawned on to me that human behaviours can be impulsive and hurried responses which others might find difficult to reason, fathom or receive. 

A child who came to visit us today for consultation was all over the room and the parents tried to keep him seated. They could not prevail over him with different persuasions and inducements. 

We do most of what we do keeping ourselves on focus. We do what is convenient for us! We follow our thought process or instinct. 

On the way home this sight reminded me of  how Anna gives herself to others! Whether it is hospitality, or making a bed, or preparing a greeting card or sending a gift for wedding, she is full of awareness of the needs of others and focusses on what might of value to others! 

Move, act and behave with others in mind!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

   

Flowering plants !

My memory goes back to about sixty years when I became aware of the special place flowers have had in my parent's home. I accompanied a family friend for a visit to Malampuzha dam when I was  ten years old and was startled by the sight I saw in the garden at the dam site. It was full of flower bearing plants, mostly roses. It was on my return, I noticed that we too had rose plants in the garden. We still have some rose plants in the garden which my parents planted. They still give flowers during most of the year. 

What has been more rewarding is the interest Anna has in flowering plants. Ever since Aswathy brought a few twigs of butter cup plants and planted them in our garden, Anna has taken considerable interest in the flowering plants. The butter cups open when the sun rays fall in the garden and close up by mid day. We have hundreds of butter cup flowers along the hedge in the front portion of our garden facing the driveway. Anna misses the flowers when the plants are trimmed!

Anna has other flowering plants as well in pots. The orchids are special to her. We have six varieties of them in the porch. When they flower, it is a sight that calls us to behold!

Flowers are real with freshness, fragrance and fragility! Flowers are also symbolic.  A bud is hope generating!

Yesterday, a colleague mentioned to me about her daughter, who came back from her school immensely happy about her performance in her class. Each day is different. Some days are not so easy. 

The bud is a suspense till it opens up!

I return to my early memories of my school years. I remember starting my school by sitting on the floor and beginning lessons in writing, using fingers to write alphabets on sand spread on the floor. During those three hours class, most of the time was spent reciting alphabets and writing them. The teacher who organised this gave us milk to drink during that time. He did not charge a fees for this or for the tuition. Parents gave him a gift that they could afford in kind or cash. The teacher was interested in our wellness and even visited our homes to tell parents about how we performed. 

As it was half a day school, I went back to my mother's school in the afternoon till she finished her teaching for the day and walk back with me about 2 kilometres. It was about three kilometres of walking each day from the age of five years. After a while, a family friend, late Mr and Mrs V.V.Abraham whose son was also was with me in the class, welcomed me to their home in the afternoon till my mother came and picked me up in the evening. This friend, Varghese was a companion and friend all through the next 12 years at school. He went on to learn engineering and I went to medical school. We met briefly during holidays and stayed in touch. It was the first friendship of meaning and purpose of my early years of life, which I cherish even now. During a monsoon rain, Varghese was struck with lightning while taking out the clothes from the line in the veranda, and died instantly. I remember visiting his home and see him lie on the bed cold and clammy and lifeless! It was a trauma that did disturb me for several months. My recovery form this was not complete for a few years, till, I was graced with a perspective of life being eternal, and not just temporal.  

Friendship with Verghese was a blossoming bud, but it lasted only for a while!

Recently, I have been through a difficult phase of going through some strained and broken relationships! It is a new experience for me as most other friendships which I have had a blossoming effect.  When friendships do not blossom, it unnerves and unsettles us. 

However, hope endures beyond set backs and mishaps in our lives. Yesterday, I heard a moving story of a neighbour who narrated me the agony of his family who have had to endure the hardship following the recent flood. His sister lost most of the household things as her house had six feet of water for three days. He along with some neighbours had to spend five days to clean the house to make it habitable. Although his sister is back in her own home, the trauma of the experience is still haunting them, waking them up at night from sleep! When awake they are absorbed by the recollections of having had to vacate the house when water gathered in their home around midnight! I got  a sense of this the other day, when we visited some areas near our village which was inundated with houses submerged. There were piles of mattresses, clothes, furnitures, books, etc in damaged condition abandoned in form of the houses for the trash van to come and gather them for incineration. 

Hundreds of people have been shattered of their hope due to the devastating impact following the flood. As wells were also submerged, the disinfection of water is a laborious and long process. 

In the midst of that, I hear the story of ordinary people who keep the hope alive by their self giving. A family who came to visit us yesterday told us that they offer meals to their neighbour whose house collapsed in the rain. They are ready to do it as long as it is necessary, till they find an alternate accommodation. 

We live amidst difficult circumstances. But stories of love, hope and abiding goodwill are life giving reminders that we belong to each other and no matter what adversity strikes us, we are together in sharing them. 

I read this morning the words of Jesus of Nazareth, 'Love your enemies'! It begins with us. I realise that I am sometimes my own enemy. When I give permission to be dominated by discouragement or despair, I become my own enemy. Th calling is to be loving to ourselves and others, who cause pain to us! That is the way of growing up from being impulsive and short sighted and embrace an enduring way of living!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)