Scars and marks of living!

One of the recent disturbing news from which, most of us have not recovered, is the violence, loss of lives and ongoing tension between communities in Manipur! The news that is tricking in even while the internet access is still under surveillance is that many who lost their homes, who live in refugee shelters and others who have migrated to other places have many painful memories to live with. 

I have a suspicion that many will carry the  hurts, wounds, scars and other marks of this traumatic experience of a life time. 

This tree wearing the scars and marks of its own past is still spring back to life with new shoots after it was pruned recently. 

How are to befriend people, who live with similar experiences of memory of pain, grief, loss and despair. 

I came across a person who told me that his special interest is to keep in touch with people who are hurting. 

Recently, following a confluence of adverse events in his neighbours's life, with his wife falling ill, his daughter not qualifying at the NEET for medical admission after two attempts, and he himself transferred a long distance away from home which makes him stay away from home during week days, this person was at a loss how to move on! This person decided to seek if the transfer can be kept in abeyance on compassionate grounds. As there red provisions in the government rules to make special request to that effect, he got a request ready for an appeal. His friend received a favourable response from the authorities and could stay on his current place for three more years. 

Following this respite, there were further improvement in the situation. His wife had improvement of her renal functions and that was big relief. His daughter decided to do psychology instead trying one more time. Surprisingly the person got a promotion, which meant upscaling his salary. 

Not that the scars and weariness of the recent months have disappeared altogether, but the new shoots of hope were in the horizon. 

This person who by being a compassionate person, having developed skills of discerning the unspoken needs of people in distress, is a person, who helps people to go beyond the scars and marks of burdened living. Not that our past fades away, but past can be subsumed or integrated with the rest of life's experiences where hope and optimism reigned amidst difficulties. 

This tree which reveals its scars and marks is also abundant with new shoots. Its call and will to live is overwhelming. Its quest is to triumph over the past. 

The emotional wounds we carry can fester or receive our attention to allow them to heal as we deal with ourselves tenderly and hopefully in a forgiving spirit. 

The interesting thing is that the hollow on the trunk of the tree can become one day a nest for a bird. Its gaping scars of the injury of the east can become a hollow, for a pair of birds to make it as their home for having the chicks.  

Our wounds can become a resource for the benefits of others. In the book, 'The wounded healer', Father Henry Nouwen brought this theme in a touching and compelling way. It is when we can feel our pain we become familiar withe pain of others. It is from being in a wounded position, we can become better companions to those who suffer from  hurting wounds. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)