16 November, 2013

Teenage friendships

The same gender friendships during teenage years has a special formative influence on the adulthood later.

Both boys and girls in teenage years are looking for their identity, affirming friendships, belonging and acceptance.

Most parents offer this in good measure. The teenage children seem to lose intimacy of contact with their parents and drift towards their friends. This is a vulnerable time when relationships with the opposite gender can take more than social friendships. Although I feel that attraction towards the opposite gender is normal, the response ought to be disciplined and measured.

One way to protect oneself from being overtaken by intense emotional engagement with the opposite gender is to develop meaningful, trusting and communicating friendships with people from the same gender. It provides nearness to share emotional and personal needs and offers a good buffer to stay on course without getting buffeted by peer pressure. Such friendships with two or three people will go a long way to have a companionship for emotional stability and sense of belonging.

The teenagers tend to feel that they are neither rooted in their homes nor are free to be independent. During this in between stage of life, friends from the same gender group can help in developing mature approach to challenges, opportunities and difficulties in life.

When we see some ten agers showing a reactive streak or rebellious spirit, remember that they are seeking for acceptance and belonging. They behave that way to express their inner conflict or fear of the future.

Teenagers need much understanding from adults, teachers and parents. They need loving support as this period in their lives is vulnerable to temptations, deceptions and short comings.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)



No comments:

Post a Comment