Restaurants are open after seventy-five days!

For the middle class families, teenagers, single people, travellers, etc. one difficult part of the restraints due to the COVID 19 pandemic was the closure of the restaurants for the last seventy five days in India. 

Anna and I visited a restaurant on the first day, when they were re-opened. This picture on display in the restaurant(photo above) a was its story in a nutshell. This is a restaurant well known for its South Indian vegetarian menu. 

There were five dining at the time when we visited the restaurant. We were the fiftieth or so visitors around 6 pm since the morning. Their normal number of guests in a day would be about four hundred in a day. 

It would take several weeks for them to return to their normalcy.

The COVID 19 infection on its course of destruction on one side and the economic distress on the other side together create a synergy of despair within us. 

There are periodic distressful occasions in human history, which would redeem the history of humankind from following an aggressive path of success and social domination. There are more millionaires in the world now than history had ever known. So also more refugees, displaced people, migrants,  immigrants, economically weak, etc! It is a world of paradoxes. 

The self correction which occurs through periodic devastating events might appear to be too costly, but the longer benefits would trickle in slowly!

It is a world of sorrow in more than one way now. 

I hope it would be a turning point in human history. 

The home Minister of India who began the election journey to Bihar and West Bengal during this week began his aggressive campaign with harsh words of humiliation and accusation. It is a time when we feel wounded and shaken. His words echoed a harsh attitude and not sympathetic at all. 

One opposition leader did bring a new consciousness yesterday, when he said, 'it is not the time to canvas for votes, when people are distressed. Take care of them first..'!

Th department where I work receives about ten the telephoen calls in a day, with each family waiting for us to resume formal consultations. We can feel the the pain in their voice. It is only when we can share in the sorrow of people we become truly humane! That is the first step towards the path of recovery. To know the pain of people and rebuild lives by mutual support!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)  

Letter to Mission Hospitals

Letter- 8

Dear Friends, 

Greetings and regards, as you now move on, to readjust to the phase of life in the community you serve, following the lifting of most of the ‘locked down’ restrictions. 

I am grateful to those who wrote back and got in touch, following the last letter. Anna and I have made it a practice to remember friends in the mission hospitals on Sundays. This letter series is an attempt on our part to share some reflections using the sights and scenes in our garden. 

It was raining in the morning today. During the brief dry spell, I went to the corner in our garden, where the Moss Rose flowers were blooming. The sight of a honeybee arriving for nectar in the picture above, captured my attention. In between the showers, the honeybees came to find its feed. It dawned on me then, that it is an apt symbol of the mission hospitals.  Where else can people go in difficult times, except to a Mission hospital, where hospitality awaits them! 

I was encouraged to hear from a Christian hospital that its lead doctor is the consultant helping the local Medical College to run the COVID treatment service. Most of you are the moral and emotional strength to your counterparts in the other hospitals who feel stretched by the increase in the number of COVID 19 patients. Each mission hospital is like this flower, giving itself freely and abundantly to those who seek its help.  

Let me also share with you another bunch of flowers from our garden of Pink Rain Lily, to remind us of a message from the fragile flowers. These flowers have a lifetime of about seven days before they wither away. During that time, they open and close each day, no matter how harsh the weather might be. Even after a heavy down pour, they look fresh and agile! It looks like they are designed for hard times.

I have a sense that mission hospitals have such an ethos and culture. Most of the hospitals have withstood many trials and testing times. It is because of those who work there with a sense of calling and God who causes the “sun to shine during the day and the moon during the night”!

Dr R.S.Arole, who transformed the rural health care in India by demonstrating how, women village health workers can change the  health indices of rural India, said to me in an interview in 1985 that, ‘Mission hospitals brought health to rural India. Now it was time to bring education, better livelihood prospects and improved agriculture practice’. He saw mission hospitals as the lifeline for the rural community. His words were prophetic. Most of the mission hospitals have diversified to address the issues which bleed the rural population!

Anna and I think of you and send you our love and regards while you innovate to turn the challenges into opportunities! 

M.C.Mathew. 7, June 2020

Bird songs and dancing!

The monsoon season is special for some birds. The three resident birds in our garden, Magpie Robin, Drongo and Kingfisher were in three different locations, but romantically tuneful. The Kingfisher was even dancing.

Soon another kingfisher arrived and appeared to be dancing as well.

Sometimes sights such as these help us to look beyond our pre-occupations.

With the general advisory that those who are past 65 years stay at home to protect themselves from COVD 19 has been weighing heavily on me for the last few days.  Three fo us in the department were working on creating a digital platform for our clinical records. We have made a good beginning. We too have been on an ambitious project to bring out a publication in connection with the seventh Anniversary of the department in September, 2020. These plans would get dislocated if I cannot go to the hospital. 

These birds were spotted after a heavy down our this morning. It was still cloudy and overcast. Bu they sang loudly and cheerfully!

The rain did not subdue their spirit. 

It was an encouraging sight.

I felt restored seeing and hearing this. The circumstances are not the arbitrators of our soul. The song is from deep within. So what happens to us do not decide our sense of wellness. It is how we respond to the circumstance which regulates our wellness.!

M.C.Mathew

Following a rain!

After seventy-five days of 'locked down' COVID 19 is still spreading wildly. 

It is affecting lives and taking away many. Many have not had the privilege of saying farewell to their loved ones! The thousand who are in the hospitals live with anxiety of what awaits them! 

I feel that our politicians have spoken with sorrow or acted mercifully! It is on such occasions we can feel the moral quotient of the leadership. I feel that the politicians feel distanced from the loss and grief experience of people and live unmindfully of the pain of those whose lives and livelihood are lost.

Why is that there was a public mourning over lives lost! Why candles are not lighted to remember lives lost or staying critical! 

I found this rose flower in our garden drooping after a heavy down pour!

To me that became the symbol of the mood of the nation !

We feel down and out as there is no respite in sight from the devastation COVID 19 brings to us!

The jasmine flower lost its normal fragrance and texture of the petals in the rain. But it is still holding the drops of water. 

This became a hope for me as I was overtaken by the demands of this season. 

We might be weary and downcast, but our lives would still carry the message of hope, because we can feel, empathise and act responsibly! We would not be denied of this virtue because we are 'created in the image of God' who is love and mercy! 

We would soon hear stories of many who defied discouragement to bring hope in this trying times!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A language of sense !

I have wondered recently if we trust each other at home, at work or in public service!

Now the latest slogan initiated by the president of the USA is 'boycott China'! There are other alienating slogans that I hear and read proclaimed by our political leaders in india. 

The distressing news I read yesterday from the announcement of the government of India yesterday was, 'it is the duty of the medical professionals to protect themselves frOm COVED 19 while they attend to patients'! Instead of saying to assure the medical professional that it is the duty of the government to protect the medical professionals while they discharge their calling to care, the government seems to be washing their hands of their responsibility! In fact many professionals provide PPE equipment to protect themselves on their own. 

When we loose the awareness to stay in touch with our 'heart' to 'feel', we are less than being humane!

It is only as much others have an expanding place in our consciousness, we spread the grace of good will!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Lily at the dawn

The above stages of opening of a lily fascinated me. I did miss a few stages between the last and the last but one stage, as I got 'distracted' by a family of Drongo birds in an amazing playful mood flying between trees near me. 

As the twilight of the morning fell on the flowers, I noticeed three effects: the flower gradually opened, the colour of the flowers changed in the light and the direction of the flower too changed.

When the sun had risen the flowers looked even more colourful and elegant.

All of these changes happened over a period of one hour. 

I learn a lot about child development from the sights I see in nature. 

A life of a toddler  goes through changes quickly for parents to notice. A mother spoke bout the 'mess' she noticed when she returned form the garden after gathering tomato. Her cupboard of clothes was open her three year daughter had pulled out most of the clothes. She wanted to get a saree to wear. She at three is lot into 'make belief play'. She watched her mother choose clothes from this wardrobe each day. Until recently she would have not have been tall enough to reach the handle of the cupboard to open it.. As if that was not enough surprise for the mother, she noticed that her daughter was with the lighter in her hand in attempt to light the gas fire. As the mother narrated a few other events of the day, I felt amused at the ingenuity of this girl to explore and act out what happens at home each day. She lived imaginatively and creatively, but for the mother there were some safety concerns and  irritation for having to get the house in order after her daughter had 'made up a mess'. Th mother had to wait till her daughter was asleep at night to 'restore' the house to its order. This is a daily 'chore' for the mother. 

This is the story of a growing and changing child. I sometimes wonder if the parents are 'ready' for watching these changes in their children delightfully and patiently!

I would not have known the rich colour, beauty and elegance of the lily, till it opened at sunrise. The parent craft is the 'sunrise ' in child development. It is as much as parents take delight and interest in the affairs of their children, children are enabled to blossom. 

It is not just about parenting alone, but more about mindfulness to provide an enabling home for children!

A child grows or remains dormant depending on the affirmations and companionship we offer to them!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Cloud formation-All in five minutes !

I watched above sight of the dancing clouds from our courtyard at home. In less than five minutes clouds had gathered and a bright late afternoon had become dark. Soon a heavy down pour followed. In another half an hour the sky appeared in its evening robe.

I felt amazed in this sudden turn of quick events in the sky. A bright afternoon turning cloudy and the sky getting cleared after a down pour!

I have had time recently to reflect on relationships in my life with people whom I have known for years and people whom I have known for short periods of times.

Most relationships have had an even profile with trust and acceptance all the way long. A friend from the UK wrote to ten of us who used to meet for reflection and retreat every year for six years. It is now another 12 years since we last met. One obvious reference in his letter was memories of such meetings and common experiences shared. 

I had a  telephone call from a younger friend on Sunday, with whom I have not been in touch for at least three years now. The relationship became distant as his parents with whom I had close association felt suspicious of me and he went by what his parents felt about me on certain matters! 

A third conversation in the same week was about a person who reminded me that it was my habit to send greeting notes of appreciation and encouragement regularly, which I do not do so often as I used to. He wondered the reason for this!

After watching the cloud formation in a bright afternoon, I got a sense of the clouds that can strain relationships. What are these clouds!

Expectations, disappointments, suspicion, anger, jealousy, feeling not valued, not getting due regard or acknowledgement, assumptions or interpretations.... the list is long.

I remember a senior friend, whose habit was to do a monthly audit of his relationships. He grouped his contacts into three categories: acquaintances, friends, companions. 

He had a personal audit process, with which he  scored the Relationship Quotient for each month. When he noticed that the score went negative, he would take time to revisit conversations and contacts to find if there was a trace of distancing from his side! If it were to be so he would mend it by getting in touch and restoring the atmosphere of openness. I know that he has been doing it for about twenty years. He is one who searches to find something good and praiseworthy to comment upon. He builds relationships because it is the way to bring nearness and trustfulness between people. 

The conversation style is a deciding factor in building relationship. I recently discovered that I overtake conversation time by referring to memories and stories  thereby giving less time for the other person to share or raise questions. This is a trap that senior citizens fall into. It ought to be the other way in reality. It is the younger people who can help in the formative process of senior citizens. 

The senior citizens are required rot learn to live in the present. Their roots might be in the past. But their presence ought to be in the current context, which the younger friends around us can help us to discover. 

I got a sense of that yesterday while talking to a colleague. It was good to hear thoughts and aspirations, which opened my eyes about the space that person would need to pursue the future. 

The Relationship Quotient is all about the space we create for others so that they can find acceptance in our thoughts and plans without them having to struggle to receive our attention. The corridor to relationships can be short or longer. Also keep refreshing the relationships with feed back of acceptance and affirmation.

I get reminded of this all the time by what  Dulcie and Daffny do. They would come to be stroked and  leave on their way to play and explore. However they need this frequent contacts. 

I had a new consciousness of the importance of staying in touch yesterday when a friend dropped in for a conversation. His question was, 'how to make relationships work'! He has had a difficult time recently!

The clouds would gather. Fortunately clouds lead to a down pour! In all relationship there out to be occasions to clear the cloud through conversations and expression of acts of kindness to clear the air and bring back transparency and trustfulness!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)