Turn out, Time out and Burn out !

It was while driving up a hill range with 40 hair pin bends, I notched a pattern on the road design.  Almost after every hair pin bend, there is a broad space on one side of the road, which I found out, is termed as 'turn out' space. It is designed to offer space for road travellers to halt and wait as they drive up or down. I noticed travellers waiting at some of these spaces taking a break from the climb or descent. Anna and I too stopped at these 'turnout' spaces four times on the upward journey and three times on the downward journey. It was while halting, getting out of the car and moving about for a few minutes, we felt different and relaxed from the strain of the climb or descent along the narrow road. Even the car needed a break from the strain of being in the second gear during the decent and ascent. 

Such short 'time out' experiences are normal for most of us in our work life. We look for the week end to have a break from the routine of work. Some countries have designed work life to stay confined to five days, and some others to six days. A day off during the week is the norm in most countries. The Saturday work was limited to half a day in all the hospitals where Anna and I worked, which gave us a longer week end for rest, recovery and renewal for the next week. 

I remember two experiences of 'burn out'  during the fifty years of clinical work. The first occasion was in 1982,  following the sudden home call of our daughter during her infancy, when going to work became a drag and a burden. The second was for a season in 1991 when I was longing for further truing in Paediatric neurology towards an  enlargement of neurological thinking. This became necessary to continue  my involvement in child development and rehabilitation. There was no training opportunity in India at that time and going overseas was not an option. Training in adult neurology would not have met my need. 

On both these occasions, I felt work a burden and depleted of energy, enthusiasm and direction ahead! 

In the first instance it was the grief reaction that dominated and disturbed me. During a period of three months, I received help from three senior friends and was enabled to process grief to see beyond and trust in the unfolding of a purpose. It happened slowly and incrementally. 

In the second instance, the respite came from the offer of a three year post doctoral research and study tailor made to suit my needs under the supervision of two Paediatric neurologists at the Institute of Neurology, Chennai. It was during those three years, I was guided in to a new horizon in child development and rehabilitation with an outlook which changed my orientation and understanding of the Neuro-developmental needs of children by tracing the causal pathway for their developmental departure and finding formative pathways for their ongoing developmental prospects.  

The first burn out experience initiated me into pursue child development as a vocation. The outcome of the second burn out experience was recovery of purpose and getting anchored in neurological optic for understanding the developmental departure in children. In fact, Prof. C.U.Velmurugendran who guided me in this process commented when I finished my term that, my 'study and research, led to initiate a  subspecialty of Developmental Neurology at the Institute of Neurology'. 

A turn out, time out, and burn out are normal experiences most of us would go through in our journey of life and discovery. 

I return to the first photograph above. It symbolises the journey of life into the unknown of tomorrows. The mountain ranges ahead offer an invitation to keep moving forward purposefully and trustingly. 

The second photograph reminds me of the turn out, and time out experiences which  one can purposefully convert into supportive and restorative times in the journey of life. 

The third photograph is a symbol of the prospect of sighting a large water body while going through a burn out experience! A burn out experience is a time to look inward; but it is mostly a time to look beyond to see the oasis awaiting when one journeys on! 

How reassuring it is to know that our lives are lived between peeks and valleys, each experience bringing insights and depth to make our journey experience purposeful and altruistic! 

M.C.Mathew(tex and photo)