The first and second photo of cashew fruits taken from the same position seem to indicate that one cashew fruit had double cashew nuts.
The third photo taken from a different angle showed a different picture of three nuts in three different fruits!
What we see influence our impressions or opinions. The above photos do suggest that impressions are at best tentative and would need revision by ascertaining facts.
There are three steps we can take before we form opinions or act on them.
As all facts are often scattered and sometimes submerged in first impressions, a honest fact finding search is essential as the starting point to form an opinion.
Ther second step is to verify facts by enquiry, consultation and critical appraisal of what is available.
The third step is openness to listen and discern an opposite view point before a final opinion is formed!
There are differences in the morphology of the three cashew fruits above, although all three of them come from a common branch of the same cashew tree. This calls for even greater observation as similar looking fruits have some significant differences.
One trap that is commonly responsible for conflict of opinions is generalisation bias.
A teacher of kindergarten who keeps a weekly individual journal of each of the 25 children in the class, told me that it takes about three months or more to get to know each child and the different ways they learn, behave and communicate. The teacher knowing the differences attempts to relate to each child in a personal way to make each child feel comfortable and accepted! With her fifteen years of experience, the teacher has developed an appreciative mode of relating to each child without resorting a common approach of instruction or correction. It is an important dimension of helping the formative experiences of children by individual attention and affirmation.
I thought that the teacher was practicing a relational approach to each child in an individual manner, which even parents fail to practice. A family made a confession in a conversation that during the family time of engaging in indoor games all the three children had three different choice of games. The occasion became quarrelsome sometimes. They resolved the differences by each child having a choice twice a week to choose a game! The differences do not divide or create a conflict if differences are appreciated as inherent nature of each child. It took several months for the parents to resolve the habit of arguments before the family settled to play the indoor game!
The openness to accept other opinions and consider them create an ambience of dialogue!
It is often easier to practice conflict avoidance than conflict resolution!
M.C.Mathew (text and photo)
No comments:
Post a Comment