Going beyond the first impression!

I watched a a look of suspicion in the posture of a Barbet, when seeing a jungle Babbler at the feeding bowl. Soon that inhibition or anxiety was overcome and both birds were feeding together from the bowl. 

I felt fascinated by the friendly posture of the Barbet after the initial look of anxiety!

The Barbet travelled beyond the first impression to restore a friendly orientation. 

I suspect that when first impressions when not revised the relationships cannot develop to be reciprocal.

I remember instances when I took time to go beyond the first impressions because of which the relationship dragged on without trustful communicative atmosphere. 

We form impressions in our mind based on our rational thinking. To be able to move into the plane of loving or caring is beyond rationality. Loving is giving and forgiving. It goes well beyond the thoughts of our mind which functions at the level of logic and reason. 

The heart level impressions reflect loving gestures and responses. The Truth and Reconciliation commission which Archbishop Desmond Tutu chaired in South Africa in the nineteen eighties is a good demonstration of how the Afrikaans and the white community overcame age old intolerance and racial prejudice and became reconciled to live and work together ! They took years to overcome the first impression of each other and move to a heart level response of acceptance of each other. 

As I listen to stories of disputes and conflicts I realise how quickly people resolve them, when they are ready to move beyond the first impressions and feel for each other!

Even after peace treaty in Gaza the killing continues. The language of intolerance is yet to be overcome with a desire for coherence and peace. 

What a delight it was to watch a Barbet revising its initial fear or anxiety and moving towards having a shared meal at the feeding table! 

I wish a heart level move towards each other takes place, in families, work places and society! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)