The Voice from within!

I was delighted to see this collection of table clothes two days back, stitched by Shantha, one of the staff working in the Developmental Paediatrics department, for sale during the annual Christmas Cheer we have had for eight years.  

The Christmas cheer was one among the several initiatives the department was engaged in the MOSC Medical college to connect with the hospital community from the time the department started in September, 2012. The other frequently held activities were annual anniversary meetings, annual staff-student Badminton tournament, T shirt logo design, painting completion for school students, and fortnightly clinical meetings for the faculty.

All these ideas came up in a conversation with Dr Rejit, a resident whom I happened to meet in October, 2012, when he stopped me on my way to the car park and asked, 'are you Dr Mathew'. In that brief conversation he mentioned to me that he heard about ASHIRVAD and was keen to meet me since he heard that Anna and I had moved to MOSC medical College a month ago.

Dr Rejit dropped in a few days later to suggest that we get involved with students and faculty to spread the message of our approach to children who were developmentally challenged. It was in this context that he asked whether we could organise a Christmas Cheer with sale of handcrafted materials, cakes, juices made in the department etc.

As I pondered over it, it was a like a voice form within resonating and reminding me for several days. I shared this thought with Susan and Tinu who were my colleagues at that time. Susan responded to the idea and took the lead to get others involved to prepare for the first Christmas Cheer. The occasion of the first Christmas cheer in the first week of December brought together a good number of staff and students. Among the students who were actively involved in some of the activities to assist the department since then, let me recall names of Thomas, Samuel, Rhea, Anjali, and Caren. There were many other students and faculty who cheered us on our way. 

The ten years of engagement socially, in the life of MOSC medical college came from a suggestion which became a voice from within. It became a lesson of considerable significance in my inner journey-listening to others to discover the inner voice. 

There are times when I was enabled to honour the inner voice and some other times when I failed to do so!

One such occasion where I yielded to the voice of others and ignored the gentle voice within was when I accepted the invitation to be the chairman of the governing Council of the Christian Medical College, Vellore in 2013. I was a retired faculty of CMC and a  friend of few senior administrators of the institution. That to me was a disqualification to be in that role. My inner voice kept whispering this to me, but I yielded to the voice and pressure of others. Looking back, that was a road leading me to a distressing experience in life, the ripples of which are still felt in my soul. A book of memoir published recently by someone who was in the council during that time, wrote one section on his experience during a troubled time, when I was in the chair. The narration had some facts, incomplete truths, conjectures and pronouncements. My wounded soul was still recovering from the earlier traumatic experience! It received another blow after reading that memoir. 

I have had some encouragement of good returns when I chose to listen to the inner voice. One such occasion was when the number of children seeking appointments in the department where I work declined during the pre-COVID season. The voice within urged me to transfer the appointment schedule to the central registration service of the hospital. Since then the number of families seeking appointments has gone up by four times. It was a difficult and disturbing time. In retrospect it was the voice within which showed the way during a dark period. 

What is this inner voice!

The inner voice is a voice of direction and insight. It is a way of sensing the way forward. In the stillness within, this voice finds its place. It is a voice that we get used to hearing, when waiting to discern becomes a pattern in our lives.   

I feel that our earthly journey is a solemn experience of being guided and carried! I long this to be a greater reality in my life!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)