Turning 75 !

Let me recall five experiences on my 75th birthday!

First Experience

What greeted me in the morning of the day, when I entered the seventy-fifth year of my journey in life, was this Magpie robin in the photo below looking towards our cottage from the  compound wall! It stayed still for me to have a few photographs! 

There was a look of intent and vigil in this bird! This captured my attention. When one goes older, this is what one ought to live with. The natural process of ageing brings changes in the body, mind and soul. I am aware of changes in each of these dimensions. I have aches and pains limiting my movements. Although I feel relieved with stretching and exercises, they have to come stay as my companions. I have some difficulty to recall names. Although most of them would return to me when I can create an association, I know that it is a reality to live with. I have episodes of anxiety about the future. I was not sure if I should renew my contract to continue at my work place. I struggled with it for almost a week. The decision making was more difficult than before. 

It was in this setting, I noticed this Magpie robin whose look awakened within me hope and aspiration to stay agile and vigilant. I remembered the parable of Jesus of Nazareth quoted in the gospel of Mathew chapter 25, about ten women who set out to greet the bridegroom. The five women who carried extra oil was different from the other five women who carried the lamp and not a can of oil. The five women prepared themselves to wait till past midnight by carrying oil to keep their lamps burning, while the other five had gone to the market to fetch oil. In mean time  the bridegroom arrived and only the wise five women could join the banquet. The door was already shut when the other five returned with oil to keep their lams burning.   

Living with awareness of having to prepare to grow older, involves staying vigilant to attend to the needs of the body, mind a spirit. 

Second Experience 

Later in the morning, a good friend arrived with a bouquet of flowers to greet me on the birthday. It was a collection of mainly rose flowers. The pastel colours brought a sobering effect on me.

Since then the flowers decorate our central table in the drawing room. Most of them are opening to give a richer look than when we received it. 

The aroma invites the honey bees to come to gather nectar.  An open flower with its aroma and colour! This thought stayed with me for a while. 

It was while at the work place after this, this message came home strikingly. The terms in the contract I was asked to sign to renew my service for next one year had changed  from what they were in the previous two years. I felt disturbed, because my academic designation was dropped from the revised contract. I indicated my reservation to sign the contract. Later in the day, the administration restored the earlier terms. 

What occurred to me through that incident was the need to be open and ready to accept changes and constraints that would come upon senior citizens because they are dispensable. To accept that soberly and  be like a rose flower, open and ready to offer its nectar to whosoever comes to gather it, is the way forward!

As one gets older, it is important to accept the displacement that is associated with it. 

The grandparents who brought the grandson for a consultation, had a demanding role to care for a child who was impulsive and hyperkinetic. Both the grand parents were highly accomplished people who spent years in the academia mentoring scholars in research and innovation. Their retirement season had become equally demanding as the parents had to be overseas for a while in an assignment where it was difficult to care for a child who had special needs. The grand parents stepped in graciously and willingly. While talking about their new role, they did refer to it as a demanding situation. Yet, what was forthcoming was enormous spirit of thoughtfulness and consideration to give themselves to support and care. This elderly couple turned a challenge into an opportunity!

To grow old would mean being more considerate, available and hospitable! What a sound awareness to begin the seventy-fifth year!

Third Experience!

Shantha, a house keeping staff working in the department for ten years, has been a designer  and tailor, who produced stitched materials for sale during the annual Christmas Cheer, the department organises. She brought to show me some bags she recently got ready for our tenth anniversary sale.  

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Shantha has only little time in between her work, now and then. She uses that time to make table cloth, cushion cover, bed sheet, bag, etc. She would use the left over cloth to create surprising designs. The table cloth below is made from two portions of left over materials, neatly joined by a lace in the centre, making it look like a designer's art creation. 

Shanta's ability to turn what is otherwise not usable into creative designs impress and move me! As one grows older, there is a canvas of experience from which one can draw a lot to contribute in any given situation. One's life's experiences is a resource. 

I had two occasions on this day to test this out further. One family, who has an eight year old child is struggling with difficulties in learning due to the sequelae of recurrent seizures. Another family has a child whose weakness of one side of the body is making it difficult for him to perform some activities in the school, which frustrates him. In both the situations, the  families were at their wits end. All that I could offer them was a listening time, at the end of which they seemed to move on to view  the opportunities beyond the disappointments. Sometimes what others need is not clever answers but patient understanding and thoughtful support, which is what senior citizens are able to provide, if only they would be ready, patient and open! 

Fourth Experience

I had an occasion to pluck some Rambutan on my birthday. They were from a plant Anna planted, which is now seven years old. It is the third year, it is producing the golden yellow fruits. 

While picking them, I remembered the years since we came to live in this property. My mother was alive when we came. My parents had nurtured variety of trees in our garden. My mother although mostly bed ridden at that time when we came to live here, was interested to know what was being done in the garden. 

Anna has since then made a thriving kitchen garden so much so that we receive vegetables for our need each day. She moved into composting recently and the rose bushes have thrived since then. The rose flowers since then are larger, brighter and last longer in the bush. 

I felt grateful for the enormous attention Anna was able to give to revive the barren green patches with plants.

As we grow older, we can become creators. It was when Sarah and Hannah were older, they had their sons, Isaac and Samuel. To turn the advanced years in our lives to be a strategic turning points in our lives is a vocation all senior citizens can consider to engage in!

Fifth Experience 

At the end of the day,  what drew my attention was this sight from our verandah, while looking out into the garden. Some nutmegs were open in the centre to expose the maze and nut and were ready to be plucked. It is when the nutmeg fruits age, they become open and and are ready to leave the shell behind. The shell was a protection for the fruit. 

All of us have the shell of our years of growth, which insulate the inner self. Our inner self has been formed thorough the years of our experiences. A time comes  to reveal our true inner self and present our biography of experiences to be a light for others. Some of us perpetuate to live concealing our lives from others. What is life worth if we move away having lived our lives concealed from others! It is when we are older we are ready to reveal the biography of our lives, which is a confluence of contentment and regrets. 

I have been writing the biography of my life and the shared life with Anna. The story thus far is a collection of the peeks and valleys from childhood. When we are older it is good to remember those who helped in the formation of our lives. There would be those who caused us pain and joy. The recollections of  both are equally important, as together they formed our lives. 

Senior citizens are therefore story tellers. They say their story and of the times they lived. They would turn out to be both biographical and historical. The true self hidden in the biography of our lives need a disclosure. 

So the time has come for me to make more disclosures of our lives revealing as much as possible. We owe our lives to others and God of our lives, who made us what we are!

I enter the seventy fifth year knowing that the life lived thus far is worth celebrating and rejoicing!

M.C.Mathew(tex and photo)