I was in the garden with a tearful heart. Lo and behold, the rose buds greeted me with tears flowing down the leaves. I sensed comfort in their thoughts towards me.
The last rose in the row stood out with bright leaves and a towering bud in the centre! That was indeed an uplifting experience. It gave me hope that there is prospect of recovery and a sense of restoration from an emotional weariness that prevailed in my soul for the day. It was a message to me that the tearful feeling ought to lead to a hopeful sense. I felt heavy on account of my outburst and the hurt that I might have caused! It would be another several weeks for a reconciled atmosphere in the work place.
I pondered over my occasional outbursts! I have had doubts about my ability to lead a group of professionals at this time when trust deficit has set in. To me, making an academic progress was the need of the hour in the tenth year of the department, where I work. I suspect that the choleric driver in me has strong aspirations to make an academic progress from the experience of the last nine years.
The feeling roses conveyed to me yesterday was that, 'let go of this aspiration'! In letting go, there is freedom.
As I was returning after the walk in the garden, what greeted me was the flowers below in a plant that did not look elegant. It had some dry twigs. The melancholic in me needs to take a step back and feel content by what is still abundant, rather than aspire for the last mile to be more impressive.
Not that I have recovered and ready for another day at work, but I feel hopeful of recovery from this direction of imposing my dream on others!
What is life and work!
Life is for a celebrant and feeling orientation towards oneself and others with gratefulness. Work is the expression of this inner abundance!
Let me stay with this message now!
M.C.Mathew(text a photo)
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