When Giving made others grieving!

On this Maundy Thursday in 2023, I found a passage in the gospel of Mark 14: 1-11 inviting me to pause and ponder. 

Th passage starts with reference to the passover festival of the Jews, which were to take place two days later, and the intention of the chief priests and the Scribes, 'seeking how to seize Jesus by stealth and kill Him'! They avoided to do that during the festival for fear of a 'riot of the people'. 

It takes me by surprise, that the passover festival which was to be a time of recollection of God's redemptive act towards the people of Israel, became the occasion for plotting to murder Jesus of Nazareth who came to bring life in all its fullness. The festive occasions are sometimes occasions of violence. The recent violent incidents in Bihar and West Bengal during a religious festival, is a reminder of the emotions of hatred and enmity that get precipitated during religious festivals. The village where I live experiences this tension between two communities during their festival times. Thanks to the wise intervention of the responsible leaders from both communities, that the tensions get contained. 

During this time, Jesus of  Nazareth was in Bethany, in the house of Simon.  The painting below is a portrayal of that occasion when 'a woman with an alabaster vial of very costly perfume of pure nard came and broke the vial and poured it over head' of Jesus of Nazareth. Jesus responded, to all those around him, who said, 'why has this perfume been wasted? For this perfume might have been sold ...and the money given to the poor'!, 'Let her alone, why do you bother her. She has done a good deed Me'. 

What is this good deed all about! This woman anointed the body of Jesus for burial which were to take place later during that week.   

Those who valued the ointment financially and proposed to distribute the sale money among the poor was oblivious of the spirit of love, gratefulness and reverence with which the woman in the story, performed this symbolic act of anointing Jesus before his burial. 

This woman gave herself as an offering of worship in this symbolic act. Hers was an act of giving which made others envious and critical. Her giving exposed the carnality in their conscience. They were plotting to kill Jesus. Here is a woman acknowledging Jesus as her God and master in the full witness of people who had murderous spirit within them. It was this cowardly spirit which made them suggest that the woman wasted her ointment on Jesus. Others interpreted her act of giving as wasteful. 

I feel appalled by these two contrasting positions. One gave in order to express her act of worship and others viewed it as a wasteful exercise!

To me, this is how it would be even now for any one of us involved in giving. Our act of giving although is an act of generosity, hospitality and self giving could be seen by some as redundant, insignificant and trivial. It arouses suspicion and would be attributed to motive for gaining favour in return. 

Giving instead of becoming a collective act of worship and thanksgiving would unsettle some and arouse suspicion, reaction and grieving, bordering to being hateful!

The second painting below is that of Judas Iscariot, who was one of the twelve disciples, conspiring with the chief priests to plan for the betrayal of Jesus, probably after him being present at the anointing of Jesus with the costly perfume.

Judas is being handed over the thirty coins of silver,  as a price for betraying Jesus is well portrayed in this painting.

I wonder if the grief over the 'wasting' of the ointment was a trigger for Judas to rush to seize the deal with the Chief priests! This is a deceptive dimension of the human psyche! When we feel that our moral bankruptcy is confronted, instead of finding the recovery path of restoring our moral fortitude, many fall into a self deception of feeling, 'I am not good enough. How much ever I try I cannot redeem my moral fabric! So why bother! Live the way you like'. I wonder whether Judas fell into this trap! A self annihilating act of three and half years of having been a follower of Jesus, during which time he being the keeper of the money bag,   was in the habit of pilfering money from the bag (John:12.6). It could have been a time of forsaking that deceiving habit, in the light of detachment to money that the woman who anointed Jesus demonstrated. In her life, devotion to God, and grateful living took precedence over attention to abundance of material possessions. 

This is a turning point in the life of Judas. Having had a deceptive nature to his character, he was given yet another opportunity to reconcile with his inner discordance and dichotomy by witnessing the self giving act of a woman in the offering her gift and herself to Jesus of Nazareth. Often this is the way in the lives of most of us. Before we nose dive into a trap or fall into a moral slip, we are given gentle reminders for self correction. In the parable of the Good Samaritan the Levite and the Priest had an opportunity to recover from their moral numbness, when they saw the wounded man on the road side, while on their way to the temple! But they ignored and went on their way without becoming a friend to a wounded 'neighbour'!

To me, this is the Judas mindset. Live in the way that appears convenient without being honest to oneself and be integrated in behaviour. As I look at the face of Judas in the painting with his hand outstretched to receive the money, I find a downcast face lost in the compulsion to be deceptive! He finally lost the battle within himself to be upright ! I think of occasions in my life, when the struggle to be transparent and truthful is real,  when a compulsive spirit to be successful, relevant or to create an image of self promotion is compelling!

The woman who anointed Jesus with a perfume and Judas Iscariot, who plotted to betray Jesus  were both followers of Jesus. The woman through her offering honoured Jesus of Nazareth. Judas through his behaviour, betrayed Jesus volitionally whom he chose to follow!

The woman used the passover festival to renew her commitment to Jesus; Judas used the occasion to gain some more money that he was fond of, by betraying Jesus of Nazareth. Judas was chosen by Jesus to be a disciple, which in itself was a gift of love supreme! There are moments in my life when Jesus of Nazareth and His words get displaced by trivial transient personal fancies!

I realised that my own life is a mixture of these experiences-renewal and denial experiences!

But at the occasion washing of the feet of the disciples, during the last supper, Jesus washed the feet of Judas, who betrayed Him and Peter who denied Him. 

To me, that is the hope that this Maundy Thursday brings to me! Jesus of Nazareth is still kneeling before us whether we are likeble or otherwise. Jesus can only be loving and giving! That is why Maundy Thursday is an occasion to respond to His loving gestures towards us!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo) 

Front and rear and the side views!

One sight that captivated my attention while visiting a garden was the four views  of the canopy of a tree , which were distinctly different from each our. 

The front view was a contrast from the rear. The two side views were also different. I did not get the message that it was conveying till, I happened to pass by this canopy while returning after having been in the garden for a while.  

It is a green where nature is made to be a messenger of thoughts, values and insights. 

While taking photographs by moving around tis fascinating sight, it struck me that with change of the angle of view, the appearance of the canopy changed. 

There is a lot of news in the media about political events in India, USA, Israel, Russia, Ukraine, etc. The political polarisation has reached an unparalleled confrontation. The oppositional views have emerged to divide leading to confrontation, so much we read the position of challenging each other to fight! 

Let me present these photos of this tree in a garden that instantly diffuses the folly of polarisation and confrontation. How silly it is for humans to limit to one's own perspective as authentic and wholesome! That is bordering to be megalomania!

Close by to the place where I live, a conflict has gone on for a several months now whether the  priest ought to face the altar or the people while conducting a worship service! It has divided the congregation vertically and each group is insistent on having their way!

If God is a gracious God, which is what we find when we recall the events leading to the crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth, remembered worldwide during this Holy Week, why are we quarrelling about non-issues! 

The truth is larger than what we can comprehend from our initial impression. 

Whether in a family or at work places, what disturbs peace is differences of opinion. The difference is because we confine ourselves to our favourite thought-line and do not meander around to explore a larger truth or perspective. 

I had a reminder of this the other day. A child was picking up a flower from the ground. While she continued gathering more flowers from the ground, a passerby offered to break a twig of fresh flowers from the tree whose branches were hanging over the pedestrian path. This lady, commenting that, 'it is time to trim the branches' broke a twig to give to this girl.  She thought laterally and creatively! She did what would have happened during the trimming of the tree which was overdue! The legality of whether it was right for the lady to break a twig was not what mattered. What engaged the lady was the girl's fancy for flowers. She discerned it and responded to it! The twigs should not have been there obstructing the pedestrian path. The tree should have been trimmed earlier!

One can be immersed in a hair splitting legality of whether what the lady did in breaking the twig of flowers was right or not!  Or one can be delighted in the thoughtfulness of a lady towards a school girl, whose interest in flowers, the lady was able to acknowledge and affirm in a thoughtful way! Which house owner would any way mind if a twig of a tree with full of blossoms  is broken to bring cheer to a pre-school child!

Our life needs a revision of perspectives. There is so much of insistence in our private life that we exclude others from their shades of thinking and perspectives! 

I remind myself that the tree I noticed in the garden is a symbol of diversity and the richness of that diversity! The tree is a symbol of fullness and wholeness! That is the journey into which I felt drawn one more time!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

  

A withering tree !

I found this tree in its whitened state and almost passed by it! The movements of the sparrow on its twigs caught my attention! 

A tree with no life left in it, is the resting place for these three birds. 

I remembered a family who were left perplexed with three successive tragedies in their family life coming with their only son, who developed anxiety disorder and dropped his grade in the class. At 11 years, it looked as though his performance in curricular and co-curricular activities had suffered a decline with little hope of recovery. 

At that juncture the father was transferred to another place by his bank! A shock far too much to bear! He had enough leave left to delay going to his work place. 

It was at this time while the family was trying to cope with the situation,  their neighbour had a car accident.  All the three members of the family were hospitalised. So this family became their immediate support. Their son got involved in meeting with his friend in the hospital who was younger to him. 

When the family returned after a month for a further conversation, I found that this boy did not have the manifest signs of anxiety. He talked about school and the class with greater ease and comfort. Although the final examination of the year was only a few weeks ago, he conveyed a level of comfort. 

Two months later, the family who came for another conversation told about the recovery signs in their situations including in the performance of their son in the examination. 

It was the father's words which gave me me an indication of how they found their recovery path. He said, 'we lived with the memory of our three tragedies and could not go beyond. But when our friends were hospitalised we found our selves to be of some help to them. While helping them, we found our recovery'!

We recover only as much as we can travel beyond our preoccupation!

Our wounds are our sources of our healing!

A dry tree is a resting place for the birds of air! It is from that tree the birds sing their birdsongs!

When we can receive our wounds and hurts without blaming ourselves or others, we shall find the truth of love that is hidden within us! We are loved and sought after!

During one of the events preceding to the trial and crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth, Jesus turned to Peter, one of his disciples and said, 'Peter, I have prayed for you....'!

We live accompanied by a God of love. 

This is the hope generating message of the Holy Week!

We might feel like a dry tree sometimes! Just as the birds visited their birdsongs, we too would have surprising experiences to bring life back to us! 

We have a song within! Our difficult times bring the best songs from within!

M.C.Mathew ( text and photo)

The Giver and Receiver or a taker !

I watched this honey bee feeding to receive its nectar!

The flowers give honey and the bee receives it. 

What the bee does is to facilitate the pollination of flowers! 

The receiver becomes a giver!

I stayed wondering on this cycle of giving, receiving and giving!

Any one who receives has an opportunity to become a giver.  

Jesus of Nazareth once visited the home of Zacheaus. Jesus pronounced blessings upon him and his family. In response, Zacheaus, who had wrongly amassed wealth, offered to give away his riches to the poor.  From being a taker, he moved on to be a giver!

A good example of Jesus giving, and  Zacheaus receiving! Zacheaus later became a giver form being a habitual taker!

A taker ends up possessing; A giver opens the way to multiply while giving. The boy in the miracle of the feeding of five thousand by Jesus of Nazareth, recorded in the gospel of St John, gave his five loaves and two fish to be used. Jesus multiplied them to be enough for the five thousand. There were twelve baskets left after all had enough food!

Giving is an act of offering in gratitude!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Sounds in the stillness of the shore !

It is when we are in a beach two contrasting experiences strike us! The stillness free of all the regular sounds that surround us! Those sounds of traffic, movements and chats of people, activities generated by machines, blowing wind swaying the trees, etc. are absent in the beach. The relative stillness in the absence of the above sounds can make us feel strange. 

It takes time to familiarise with the stillness of a beach in the absence of the regular sounds that one is used to. It would need a transition of several minutes before one can become aware of the sound of the waves. The waves are mostly silent till they strike the shore and water recedes from the shore. The force with which the waves strikes the sand bed on the shore creates a sight and sound. The water appears foamy and bubbly which by itself is a sight. The sound of this forward and backward movement of water creates a musical tone in medium frequency in changing decibels. This sound travels within to our mind, when all other regular sounds do not compete for attention. 

Today as I saw the sights of the water movement and heard the sounds associated with it, it dawned on me that the familiar and regular experiences can condition us to the extent of loosing out on the message,  new experiences can bring to us. 

It was after about half an hour or so after having been in the beach, I began to feel the sounds of wave within!

The sounds of the waves create a gentle stirring within. It is as if one is hearing different messages with each wave reaching the shore and recede. 

One message that seemed to hover over my conscious mind was that of a never ending embracing of the sand by the water. The seashore is nourished by the water of the sea. Similarly the sounds of the waves can nourish our mind by dispelling other fearful sounds and voices. 

The fearful sounds and voices of anxiety, stress, rejection, loneliness, and woundedness stay within us and make us prisoners of our habitual patterns. Sometimes even our sleep gets interrupted as some of these emotions haunt us and preoccupy us. 

It was when the sounds of the waves brought an interior experience of comfort, I realised that the sounds of the waves were embracing my troubled mind! 

That is why listening to gentle music, humming tunefully familiar inspiring songs, and stilling the mind with thoughts of being loved by God, the giver of life, can liberate us from the clouds of doubt and self doubt!  

I find returning to read or listen to the the sayings of Jesus of Nazareth is one way of creating a feeling of being loved and cared for. This then creates a feeling of being embraced and received. 

We need stillness within for the sound of God's love to become a wave within our inner being!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The Holy Week, 2023

Anna and I entered the Holy Week while staying with a family who have been our friends  for a long time.  The day began with us being served freshly brewed coffee! We sat in high chairs around the fruit bowl and shared our thoughts on the narrative in the gospels of the journey of Jesus riding on a donkey, listening to the chorus of Hosanna, sung by children with palms in their hands. 

Following this we were drawn by the painting on the wall, done by one of them, of a woman reading from the Scripture. The painting is rich in details of the background and the expression on the woman's face. The whole story of the Holy Week scattered in the four gospels of the and  new testament is a rich source of information for meditation and reflection. This painting invited us to create time to read the narration of the events, people, and situations from the gospels to get familiar with the fulfilment of the mission of Jesus of Nazareth. At Christmas, Jesus began his journey from a manger and moved on to Golgotha during his short life time! The Old Testament references about the suffering servant is another valuable source for this meditative reading. 

When we turned away from this painting, what we saw was the the flower vase with dried flowers and a wall text, 'We walk by Faith, not by sight'! That summarised the way we can receive the message of crucifixion and resurrection! The experience of entering into and  the meaning and message of this mystery of the vicarious suffering and victorious resurrection of Jesus can only be realised by faith in God who makes the light to shine upon in our hearts. 

This Holy Week began with a sense of joy and peace! It was good to be in a home where the paintings and wall texts initiated us to a preparatory mind set for the week ahead!

To behold the life and and mission of Jesus of Nazareth is a spiritual experience, which is what times of meditation can offer during the Holy Week!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Two artists, two paintings and one message!

Anna and I have had an opportunity to visit a family yesterday whom we have known for over thirty five years. Their welcome and hospitality refreshed us immensely. 

I noticed two paintings on the walls of their house, done by each of them. Both of them are artists and have a good sense of expressing themselves in colour. In fact most of the paintings on the walls in their home are their creations starting from the time of  their college days.  

 

The following painting by one of them is a good portrayal of a common place experience for young women. The conversation style around the round tables in the painting is what invited my attention. The mood and ambience give a sense of ease mixed with anxiety. The is is the story of many young people. From the formal dress they wear I presumed that the artist was expressing the work place situation, where even the conversation time can have the heaviness of the events at work place.

Even the in between times in the work place can be a continuation of the demands and strains of work place. I perceived the ambience of concerns and unresolved issues well expressed in the faces of the women in the painting. The artist might have had thoughts and dreams as she created this painting, dedicated to the way she perceived the inner world of young women!

The painting below on the wall in the adjacent room, gave another portrayal of a reality that are open before people. Both of them having revisited a retreat centre a few years ago, had a refreshing memory of the month long retreat which they attended at an important phase in their life. During the second visit to the site, they saw themselves as travellers on journey revisiting to renew memories and gains of the earlier experience. They needed time to travel inward to feel the hidden experiences since their first retreat, which needed befriending and expansion. The painter, being a fully occupied professional with leadership responsibilities, in capturing the retreat centre physically on canvas, was giving away a message that life needs interim times of retreat for reflection and renewal. 

 

The first paining is a vivid expression of a market place reality that women face in their work place. It invites our attention to the weariness and tensions associated with life at home or at work place. 

The second painting carries the message of an antidote shared by one, who experienced peace and comfort during a season of reflection and retreat. Life is not just a chronology of events that loosely exist in our inner world. They instead are interlaced to create an optic within, with which we view ourselves, others, and situations. Our lives are therefore being formed by the experiences we go through. 

Therefore regular times of inner quietness each day and seasons of prolonged solitude would be a natural gateway to enter in to the world within where so much happens. The meaning of experiences will become an insight, when we take time to listen inwardly!

Anna and I returned from our visit, refreshed by the gift of messages the paintings communicate.  The paintings are silent, but they communicate and reach us deep at the level of our inner consciousness. We felt grateful for the two artists who while they work observe what happens around them and convey their thoughts and emotions through paintings.  

The common theme of the two paintings done by a husband and wife is also an echo of their personal journey of discovery. How a way of living by rest and reflection is possible amidst all the cares and demands of life at home or work place!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)