Turn taking conversations!

The small birds above in our garden made a difference by their colourful presence.  They were seen only when I looked for them. They were present but less visible as their bird chirps were drowned in the windy and noisy morning! 

The Taylor bird and the Magpie robin sing tunefully and make the garden sound musical in the mornings. 

But these small birds behaved differently as the Mynah with its loud bird calls conveyed a distressed tone! The body language of all the small birds showed a vigilant posture! 

All the Mynah birds in the vicinity gathered at the feeding station following this.

The cacophony that followed only added to the stress of the small birds. Each of them flew away in different directions. 

Those who are loud and dominate by what and how they say can make others feel reduced to be listeners in a group. I experienced this recently when one person wanted to speak all the time. The other six in the group could not find a space to share any thoughts! 

This can happen in a family. The adults can dominate and impose their presence through their opinions or by dominating the conversations. 

I noticed something encouraging while being with a family. The parents involved their two children in mid childhood, by talking about what interested them. The conversation proceeded by equal participation of children. I was impressed by the turn taking style in the conversation which gave children an opportunity to listen and to express. 

We can facilitate conversation or impose others to silence by the monologue! 

A home is a place, where we learn this turn taking rhythm in conversation! 

The imposed presence of the Mynah birds and the silent presence of the small birds in the garden- it was a contrast which brought an awareness about creating space for those who are quiet by habit to become expressive in a group setting! 

I took time to ponder on this: Does my presence and manner of speaking facilitate space, comfort and freedom for others to be themselves and to express themselves! Am an enabler or inhibitor in a group? 

M.C.Mathew ( text and photo)