The buds, blossoms and ageing flowers all in one Jasmine plant in our garden brought memories of human life in evolution and transition! Even in the advanced state of ageing, the last picture shows a spider still harbouring the flower! During flowering and ageing, the flowers are home for honey bee, insects, and spider !
This is a story of Formation, Transition and Vocation inhuman life!
While listening to a parent, I realised how much he was concerned about the changes taking place in his pre-adolescent child. The concern was about his desire to be more private and independent! He no more asked for opinions, but he announced his choices and decisions to the parents! That gave the parents limited room for discussion or negotiation. The parent felt reduced in the role he can play in the opinion formation of his son from now on!
Parenting has three dimensions-upbuilding, enabling, and freeing! If the upbuilding and enabling were the normal patterns till the mid- childhood, then children gradually freeing themselves to be independent is a sure sign of developmental maturity!
Parents are to be giving even more when children take steps to free themselves from the dominant control of parents!
The time to hold on to children loosely is the pre-adolescent years, when the emphasis shifts to helping them to feel anchored in the healthy practices of family life by inclination and choice. This is the time to trust them to return to parents with a sense of belonging and intimate communication at the heart level!
A child grows up to be more independent. It is the time when parents can to grow up to be more trusting and affirming of their children!
Parenting in that sense is like the flowers above-giving !
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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