A neighbour has mini cow farm. This family supplies milk for us for the last thirty-five years. The cows follow a routine which is interesting to watch.
The daily visit to the stream below our cottage for the morning bath is a sight I like to watch.
The cows follow the voice of instruction spontaneously!
I find this educative!
The cows wait for the instruction! The way the cows are cared for illustrates the reason for the prompt response of the cows to the instructions.
Having watched this several times, I happened to ask the caretaker about the behaviour of the cows. His response was : 'They wait to be guided'!
In my conversation with some parents, I come across statements like, 'It is a struggle to restrain our child from getting into trouble. They do not wait for instruction or guidance'!
This often is a strain for parents. Often children get restrained rather than feeling guided !
One message that I pick up from this observation is that parenting involves guiding children to responsible behaviour. Children are often impulsive; the pre-school children would begin to trust the parents when they have the experience of being trusted, guided and affirmed.
As I heard the voice of the caretaker, while bathing the cows I knew that cows were habituated to wait for the instruction!
I remember listening to a mother, who has a six year old son, with whom she has a regular conversation in the morning, about the different events of the day ahead. She would enquire from him how he would get involved in those activities. During that brief conversational time, the boy would share his ideas and needs to which his mother would add instruction, caution or clarification. So much so, the boy has got used to think about what is about to happen and would process some thoughts related to his behaviour. The parents do similar exercises with him during week ends when there are more interactions with others, or when they are about to visit places or other homes. I remember watching this boy in an interactive setting with other children and adults. He looked pre-informed and ready to be at home socially.
The parents of this child once shared with me the annual progress report of this child from the school. One remark by the class teacher summarised his behaviour: 'He behaves as an example to others'!
Instructing a child is science, art and a skill!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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