The wellness factor!

 

Two rose bushes beside each other! One with a bud and another yet to have a bud! The contrast is a mystery!

The first shows signs of growth with branches and healthy leaves. 

The second rose shows suspicion of having been affected in its growing process with few leaves and branches. 

This sight in our garden last week made me ponder and explore what might have caused this difference. 

The second rose bush is in the shade of another shrub which filters the sunshine on the rose bush. During the earlier flowering season, the shrub was smaller in height and less in foliage, which allowed the rose bush to flourish!

There are some determinants for growth for plants, which vary from species to species. 

The rose bush needs bright sunshine, good manuring and wet soil for them to be optimally growing. 

I received a message from a family who suffered a set back on account of a disturbing event. They were recovering from a major event of serious concern. This set back is a drag on them. 

I saw the news paper report yesterday of death of 50 people in Gaza strip after a good season of ceasefire!

Life, living and becoming come up frequently in my thoughts during these days, probably on account of transition into a new year. 

A papaya tree with its fruits gives the message of fruitful presence in the garden. 

The fruits are a sign of how everything converged well for this growing papaya tree. 

I realise how life events are processed by some families well and not so well by other families. 

A hospital in central India found out that patients with sickle disease who were encouraged to drink extra water to avoid sickle cell crisis did not have access to potable water and toilet facility for women to use. The provision of water seems to help people to hydrate themselves better during the summer months. The stunting of growth, a sequelae of  frequent metabolic crisis patients of sickle cell disease suffer from can be partly overcome by the simple precaution of adequate hydration. 

Often small steps are what would be needed to promote wellness in life and minimise the impact of the adverse circumstances. 

The small steps towards wellness are mostly in our domain. 

A family who had two adults in their neighbourhood, who were abusive at home, invited them to join in for visiting senior citizens who lived alone in their neighbourhood.  Since then, there was a change in the behaviour of these adults at home. 

Often, small steps to modify the environment bring back the normal rhythm and pace to life!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Finding labour good!

"For what does a man get in all his labouring and in his striving with which he labours under the sun?. Because all his days his task is painful, and grievous even at night his mind does not rest. This too is vanity. There is nothing better for a man than to eat and drink and tell himself, that his labour is good.  This also, I have seen, that it is from the hand of the Lord" Ecclesiastes 2:22-24).

The above text is from one of the wisdom books of the Old Testament in the Bible. 

This passage crossed my mind yesterday, when a migrant labourer who was helping to build the broken wall suddenly sat and down in a state of anguish. He seems to have had a telephonic conversation with someone shortly before this. When I was called to help in the situation, I waited for a while when he was ready to talk. He is married for a year now. He misses his wife. As he came to work to a distant place, his wife is angry and is in anguish. For this migrant labourer the income from daily work is the only source to sustain his parents and a younger sibling who is still studying. Most migrant workers come alone leaving the family behind. 

It was while listening to this migrant worker, I came closer to the striving associated with work, living and demands of a home! It was easier for migrant workers to get jobs almost every day earlier. With the economic recession, it is stressful as jobs are not easy to find!

I happened to be in a hypermarket a few days ago. The movement of people engaged in buying, conversing, eating, and pursuing fun activities engaged me. Most people conveyed a hectic pace to have an experience of the multiple activities for fun and leisure!

The extremes of situations caught my attention. Those who struggle to find a job to sustain oneself and those who earn enough to allow indulgent living!

Those who struggle to find jobs and those who have assured income have one thing in common. The state of wellness within!

From the way people engaged in pursuit of 'more' of pleasure and leisure, I wondered whether they too carry stress within that push them to unwind! 

It is in this context, the wisdom literature from the Bible quoted above comes home with a message. ' There is nothing better for a man than to eat and drink and tell himself, that his labour is good'.

This is a contrast to the pursuit of abundance or indulgence! The ants  who gather food to store for the dry season do it for themselves and for others. They include caring for others as a normal attitude! 

For me to come to a state of mind that 'labour is good' independent of its outcome or personal gain is still a journey in inner readiness. 

To be able to regard work as a pleasant occupation and to feel engaged  in itself is a gain, to feel needed and valued.  A daily wage earner would not have that sense of value added to his or her life if unengaged!

As these thoughts criss crossed my mind, I noticed the lily below dancing in the gentle breeze and looking radiant in the afternoon sun. It is a flower which shall fade away in a few days.  

What is given is all that we have! We strive to have more or go after chasing more of the same to find satiety!

The rose bush in the first photo brought a message of comfort to me. A plant is most vulnerable more so in a dry climate. The rose bush would not survive unless it can draw moisture from the soil and receive sun rays during the day. Most bushes receive both of these. 

From the anxiety of living, the movement is to be towards living with what is possible! 

The daily wage earner above drowns his anxiety by smoking heavily, drinking alcohol and through other acts of self gratification. 

The largest consumption of alcohol in the year in the state of Kerala was between the Christmas and new year! Alcohol has become therapeutic to ease stress!

The wisdom literature invites me to delight in the labour that we are engaged in and find it as good! 

This is the state of contentment against the drivenness of gratification!

I noticed this plant quietly present in its pot, giving flowers almost everyday for a few weeks now. It gives its flowers from its wellness!

The wellness in daily living becomes an experience, when a person can tell himself or herself, 'labour is good' independent of returns or  gains!

This gift of consciousness comes to us, 'from the hand of God'.

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The year 2024 to 2025 !

The year 2024 was the first full year, following my superannuation after forty five years in different professional engagements! 

On the first day of 2025, I take this time to make an inward and outward glance at the formative experience of the last one year. I have seven thoughts that occupy my mind as I reflect. 

1. The physical space. 

A physical space was needed to locate the function of ASHIRVAD, an initiative for Child development, started in 1983. The institutions where Anna and I worked earlier till we superannuated,  gave us the benefit of using their address to be that of ASHIRVAD as well. The idea to use the garage in our cottage premise, by creating another protected parking space for the car next to it, was a good step, as I look back.  

The pictures above show the interior of the physical space of the converted garage into a multipurpose utility room. 

Although it was an effort to chase away the lizards and cockroaches which had made the space their home for years, an advice of a friend helped to wean them off their free access without harming them  by keeping the space tidy, dusted and moped. 

 

This space for having memorials of forty years of different life events helped to create connections and associations. 

2. The Historical recollection

Once the physical space was created, Anna planned and designed to have the history of ASHIRVAD represented in photos, memorials, wall mounted souvenirs, and three cupboards of documents, books, letters and toys, and displays of journey paths and experiences. The files of correspondences and publications are on display. The story of ASHIRVAD from 1983 is summarised to remember the child development centre at Chennai, Early Learning centre at Nagpur, association with ASHA at St Andrew's church, starting of the Developmental Paediatrics units at CMC Vellore, PIMS, Pondichery, and MOSC Medical College, Kolenchery. The association with INTERSESERVE, formerly the Bible Medical Missionary Fellowship and other organisations, CMAI, EHA, EMFI, etc are accessible for reference. 

3. Initiatives in Child Development

The post doctoral research which opened a new perspective on child development took us to look for causal pathways for developmental departure in pre-school children. What followed was a bundle of surprises that led to identity a few modifiable Neuro-developmental determinants in early childhood development. The subsequent research gave indications of effectiveness of the corrective measures to foster child development. The publications to reach these informations to parents are esteemed by parents. A few more publications are in the offing. The recent publication, 'Parenting presence with pre-school children' seems to have created opportunities for on-line interaction time with parents of pre-school children.

4. Continuity of conversations

The on-line conversations with professionals in child development once a week which went on for six years continued for most of the year, although it is now discontinued as the co-ordinator is moving job. The conversation times oo personal formation, mid life transition, integrated living and parenting presence continue in small groups and in the on-line mode. The opportunity to be involved with some professionals on a regular basis, makes me feel connected with the contemporary context, different from what I was used to in my professional years of service. I feel educated as I listen. 

5. Life, Living and Learning

Anna and I pursued this theme to experience integrated living as a way of living. This engages a good part of my attention. There were healthy and broken relationships during our years of association with people. The healthy relationships have prospect of becoming flourishing experiences. The broken relationships can be integrated to stay in whatever state of resolution they might still be. Life offers opportunity to wait for the unfolding of the mystery of peek and valley experiences. To be loving and forgiving to experience healing is the pathway forward, as I reflect and pause. 

6. Reading for renewal. 

One's pathway in life is to pursue that which is appealing and comfortable. For revision of life, one needs to tread terrains which remain as a desert or  wilderness in the inner space. There is so much hidden, suppressed or concealed in one's biography, that one can live carrying the burden than in freedom and ease. The books which integrate spirituality and formation have become a good resource to read and re-read in order to open life's door for renewal. The contemplative reading habit, essential for truths to fall in the receptive inner soil,  is a call to which I hope I can respond incrementally. I hope that this desire to experience an awakening to a new consciousness of the strands of the inward life would grow within. 

7. Soulful living

I have often pursued  calling in life with a desire to belong and be collaborative. This is still an intent and not a reality as much as I desire. I find a  growing desire to live relationally and engage collaboratively. This means creating space for more engagements  with others and to know and value what others aspire for in their lives. The inner space for others needs expansion. This means that one learns the language of the heart in listening and responding and engaging and talking. The language of the heart is love, which is patient and forbearing. This involves a graded shift from cognitive conversations to intuitive conversations. When listening alone is the intent when someone speaks, the response is born within to reciprocate. A feeling heart and intuitive response would become a habit, when listening becomes the way to receive the person. 

I found the above rose flower in its advanced stage of opening its petals in our garden this morning. It looked wet in the morning having received the dew of the night. It is nourished during the night to open to bring its fragrance to the beholder!

That inspired me to wait patiently for life to have more inner expanse to live in consideration for others. To be mindful of the unspoken needs of others is another dimension of this call!

The journey of becoming continues into 2025!

What Anna and I are grateful for are for many experiences of 2024. The foremost was the opportunity to have had regular contacts with children and grandchildren. Some friends of ASHIRVAD have been active in remembering the different involvements and inspiring us to continue. Our personal friends have carried us in their thoughts. We have had considerable help from our domestic helpers. There were occasions when some friends surprised us by their generous acts of kindness and thoughtfulness. Although we have less contacts with foster children since our time at CMC Vellore, PIMS and MOSC MCH, some have surprised us by recalling experiences which go back to twenty years or more.  

I feel connected with few people who interact through the blog, I contribute by sharing the daily insights or  experiences on: waymarksonajourney@blogspot.com

Anna and I share this Lily blossom, which bloomed during the Christmas week, with all those who carry us in thier thoughts!

The photographic interest which was active for twenty five years has taken a new dimension since 18 months. The focussed attention on some visiting birds and the  seasonal flowers in our garden brings nearness to receive messages of instruction for interior enlargement. 

Anna and I feel protected in the canopy of grace of God accompanying us.  

The reflections on the incarnation of Jesus brought a refreshing touch during the Christmas season.  

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)