The half is of the full!

As I recently watched and photographed this half moon, I got a feeling that I was looking at half of the full moon, although the rest of the moon would be visible only a week or so later. 

A child who cries incessantly at three years is expressing only part of the feelings he carries with himself or herself when he or she cries. 

It is a challenge that parents carry with them. They get so focussed on the cry and attempt to pacify the child that the feelings behind the cry do not get attended to! I hear the crying pattern of the children who wait for consultation. They cry loud to insist on what they want; they cry longer to avoid being pacified; they cry to be noticed by others so that parents feel pressured to oblige; they cry in public place to get attention especially if the child was not given attention normally. There are more reasons than these. A child would cry only when a child is hurt physically or emotionally. 

The commonest cause for a three year old child to cry in public place is to make parents vulnerable to give the Mobile phone for the child to play with. Instead of moving out of the public space to be private with the child and engage  in conversation, parents give in to pacify the child by offering the phone. When it is done once, then the next time it would be even more difficult to deny the child the phone at home or in a public space. 

This attitude of the child which we experience is part of the whole of the emotional milieu of a child which is internalised by the child, often acquired by habit. 

Just as the moon exists in full although not visible, the behaviour of a child has larger dimensions than what is externalised. 

It is by the habit of creating de-briefing times with children parents can enter in to the wide expanse of their emotional matrix. Up until parents take turns to have personal times with each child before the child falls asleep, parents would miss the entirety of the emotional state of a child. It is when parents become strangers to the inner world of realities of a child, the child  externalises some of the pent up emotions in an undesirable way.

Parenting is all about befriending children. 

Knowing a pre-school child is for upbuilding him. His mind space and rational thoughts are limited at three years. 

Most of their behaviour is therefore an immature expression of sadness, anger, frustration or reaction. 

To get to know beyond the half is a worthwhile journey for parents. Knowing the whole is a way of endearing a child to upbuild him for her!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)