Burdened women

Some things I observe, during my association with families in connection with my work  have disturbed me. 

One of them is the extra burdens, women have to carry to support the family and care for their well being. 

A mother of three children told me the other day her story, when I wondered why she delayed seeking help for her third son who has been finding class room learning difficult for the last three years. 

She gets up at four in the morning and starts with cooking to get break fast and lunch ready for the three children. She then irons the clothes for the children and polishes their shoes. By then her mother in law would need her attention as she is mostly bed bound. On most days the domestic helper comes only after children leaves for school at 7.30 am.  The time after children left for school is equally demanding with her mother in law needing attention for her bath, dressing, mobility. feeding, etc. She has her break fast around 11 am and leaves for shopping after that. On her return she has to to get ready for the evening meal.Once children is back by 4 pm she is fully consumed in helping them for their home work. Her day ends only by 11 pm. 

Her husband has a demanding work which keeps him away from home for about 12 hours. Although he is most caring and considerate, his schedule and pressure of work leaves him fully occupied with little time even during week ends. 

The last holiday they had as a family was three years back. They are fully occupied with the routine through out the year. 

Most of the stories I hear from families give a sense that women are burdened with responsibilities at home. An employed mother would have even more demands on her time and attention. 

I have a suspicion that women endure the challenges and the men folks at home do not sense the intensity of the burdens women carry. I suspect that men spend more time  watching television than offering to help their spouses at home with domestic chores. 

I watched a husband walking in the front followed by his wife carrying a child in one arm and a travel bag in the other hand.

I wonder whether the men folks regard their spouses as equals and companions! That will be the beginning of shared living and a journey towards  the 'two becoming one'.

I come across instances when men make efforts to support their spouses and reach out to them with special attention. While walking in the corridor of a hospital in the middle of the day, I met a friend in casual attire. I asked him, 'are you not at work'? He said that he took leave for one month to be with his wife who was due to appear for her post graduate examination shortly. He has taken full responsibility for house keeping and taking care of their two year old daughter.  

This suggests the prospects for change!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)