Towards inclusiveness!

Three rose flowers from three rose bushes growing up next to each other in our garden! The pinkish hue of colour differs, so also the shape and arrangement of petals. The photos were taken around the same time at day break. All three rose bushes have a history of about twenty years in our garden. They give flowers lavishly during most seasons of the year. The crisp appearance of leaves and the delicate patterns of serrations on the edge of the leaves standout. 

There are similarities and dissimilarities. They are neighbours to each other. 

I have had this thought about neighbours in my mind as Anna  makes a round in the evenings to visit all our neighbours to greet them for   Christmas and new year. 

These neighbours whom we got to know since we started to stay in our cottage 14 years ago, are people who are different from each other in many ways. In fact the dissimilarities are more obvious. Yet the fifteen families in our neighbourhood have a socially comfortable relationship with interest to help and care according to the need. 

One neighbour delivers mild every morning at our door step. Another family is our domestic support for the daily chores at home. A third family keeps a watch on our cottage when we are away for a few days. 

The children from these families are also friendly and thoughtful. One college student helps two children in the evening, who need help to do their home-work assigned by the school.  

I find lives of people interwoven in different ways in our neighbourhood. 

Are not the Palestinians and the Jews neighbours to each other while they live sharing some historic places as common! Are not people in Manipur same ethnically although one group lives in the valley and the other in the mountains! Are not people in two different political parties humans, although subscribe to two different political ideologies! In fact due to the intense disagreement between the ruling party and the opposition parties,  the winter session of the parliament did not function  on most days due to disagreement on policy, process and procedure. 

I am alarmed how the newly elected president of the United States makes many statements which disgrace the evidence based practice of health care- the latest news being to do away with immunisation!

I wonder what is source of  the origin of disruptive or defying mind set in personal and political life! 

Are we not neighbours to each other! Is not our common good intertwined with the personal wellness and neighbourhood friendliness! 

I wonder sometimes whether 'loving our neighbours' will be a reality! What about  being decent towards those who differ with us or practice another faith or hail from another ethnicity !

Each of the flowers above is distinct, unique and different, yet they together make the garden!

The season of the Christmas is the time to dwell on this theme and consider how we relate to others, because the message announced at Christmas was, peace, hope and goodwill towards all!

It is the time to be more inclusive and fraternal towards all. God shares  love with for all alike!  

M.C.Mathew ( text and photo)

A biography of a rose plant !

 

After ten days of travel when I returned home, in the last week of November 2024, I noticed  one rose bush, which was planted in August with buds and flowers. Since then I have watched this rose plant over the last four weeks. 

The last photo is the one that was taken this week. In a season of one month the plant shed its leaves and the flowers are about to wither away!

The contrast is conspicuous between the then and now.  

A plant has its own rhythm. Its best was about six weeks back when the plant had mostly buds with some flowers in different stages of being open. 

The best of the photos of the flowers I have are of photos taken around Anna's birthday. That was a happy synchronicity. 

While visiting a family yesterday, Anna and I heard stories of their long years of professional service and the upbringing experiences of their children. With their children living godly lives with their homes being places where people find the light of hope through their being and doing, their story filled our hearts with immense joy of generational witness to the truth of love and care they represent. We heard the mother read to us the Christmas meditation one of their children wrote, which held our attention and moved us to feel how reflective and articulative it was. 

The rose bush above lives with its blossoms in season. It lives beyond one season of flowering. It shall flower in another two or three months with similar exuberance. 

The testimony of the family we visited was another witness   to the reality of godly living generationally! Even in the midst of some trying experiences recently, their steadfastness to make God's nearness and presence in their lives brought encouragement to us. Such families are the message bearers of Christmas, where they live with peace, hope  and joy, which the Christ of Christmas came to bring to humankind. 

I write this keeping in mind, the ugly event which happened yesterday when the members of the Indian parliament clashed with each other in its foyer, becoming even physical with each other. How terrible to think that the seasoned politicians have lost trust in dialogue ! 

The Christmas season is a time to announce and practice peace. 

We received the gift of peace from the family whom we visited yesterday! Such families are the leaven in a community!

An Indian pond Heron visited our garden at mid day yesterday. It is an unusual time for a Heron. Usually it moves about between flight stations in the morning or evening. To find it at mid day in the sun yesterday was reminder of the strange times we live in, when peace evades us. But Heron was a symbol of hope! Peace shall become the ambience of human hearts!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

 

  

Flowering is the way!

 

Every time a I notice a withering flower, a regretful feeling grips me. After a few days of being fresh and fragrant, it succumbs to its fragility. 

Often the buds that follow subsume that regret and brings me back to the message of tomorrow the plant brings. The plant shall flower again  all being well!

It is during this season, this message needs to be brought back to the centre of attention. 

The news of Myanmar attacking Bangladesh and militarily forcing its way to occupy the border, came as a shocking turn of events. The civil life in Myanmar is in disarray. The schools, colleges and professional institutions do not function, displacing students to go elsewhere to pursue their education. The parallel government in the rural areas takes care of the civil needs. When the normalcy of life does not exist the military government is forcing its way to Bangladesh, when that country is just recovering from a civil unrest. The territorial greed is a frightening attitude which has destroyed nations. The hostile relationships between countries is largely because of territorial disputes. 

It looks like, there are many who benefit from war- those who manufacture weapons and machines for war. They influence leaders to conflict for them to benefit in their manufacturing and marketing. 

While one rose flower withers and fades away, there are buds that would blossom1

The season of Christmas is about this message. The hope of peace, goodwill among people and loving orientation will not die! Hope sustains us to transcend fear and war!

In an oration which Dr Sowmya Swaminathan gave recently at the Christian Medical College, Vellore,  I sensed the hope which she has about the prospects of eradicating Tuberculosis. She spent over thirty years in her research work to achieve it. But it is still evasive. The gentle confidence and resolve to see this happen brought a message of hope which sustains her aspirations and efforts. 

The two Bulbuls at the evening time when it was turning dark were looking ahead to their shelter for the night. They flew away in to the hill side where they shall find thick foliage to stay protected for the night! That is their story for each night ! 

I realise that hope is real and not evasive. 

The stories of hope are moving to listen to.

A childless couple, who live by selling the snacks they sell in the market has enough to live on. Following a spinal surgery, the husband is unable to be mobile. He is wheel chair dependent. He comes in his motorised wheel chair to the market place twice in a day to sell the snacks his wife prepares. They have lived this way for fifteen years since the man became wheel chair bound. People come to meet him and return with cheer and inspiration he effuses. It is this hope and sense of wellness that he conveys which make his snacks popular! 

 The spirit within us gives us that hope. 

Anna and I visited a neighbour who has been widowed fifteen years ago. Before that her husband was on medication for depressive illness for a long time. In fact knowing that he was depressive she married him in the belief that she can bring cheer in his life. That man lost his mother at a young age and grew up without a stable home environment. The three daughters of their are happily married and they and the grand children give cheer and comfort to this gracious woman. At seventy three, she effuses cheerfulness and mindfulness. She finds her strength and guidance by reading the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth from the Bible. 

One can keep looking at the withering and fading flower or live in hope by seeing the buds about to blossom! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Becoming present !

The sun was about to set with the splashing of the evening hue of golden colours on the sky. 

I waited near the feeding station to watch birds to come for the 'last meal' of the day. I was surprised that the regular visitors were missing. 

I heard a faint chirp probably of Bulbuls in a distance. When looking up on to a coconut palm, there were two Bulbuls in communication with each other.  

From the collection of photos taken of the forty five minutes of communicative presence of the Bulbuls, let me present the following photos which summarise their communicative behaviour. 

I remembered a presentation by a Behavioural psychologist a few years back, when he described presence to each another, in the following manner: 

Physical presence, 

Cognitive presence, 

Emotional presence, 

Communicative presence, 

and Integrating presence.

I viewed all the photographs through this optic of the dimensions listed by the psychologist. 

The photos above of the presence of the Bulbuls to each other,  portray all the dimensions expressed by the psychologist. 

The last photo of one Bulbul whispering a chirp, was indeed an integrating dimension of presence. The movement from non-verbal communicative presence to verbalising the presence demonstrated the climax of presence in the collection of the photos I was able to take yesterday.

Following this communicating presence, as dusk was about to set in, one of the Bulbuls flew away. Soon the other too followed its path to the distance beyond. 

Looking at the palm leaf with its occupants having left, it appeared to be bereft, telling its story of some damage it suffered in the past to its leaves. Yet it offered itself to be a home for two Bulbuls for their presence to each other. In fact this palm tree is hospitable to other birds too. Magpie robins and Kingfishers are often seen in the tree in the morning hours. 

Becoming present to each other. happens normally to birds. 

I was left with a question: how real is such a behaviour of presence in human behaviour!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Fourteen years with birds!

One common habit of the Bulbul birds is to visit their favourite flights stations in our garden. The above seven stations are  in the flight paths of the Bulbuls in our garden. 

The Bulbuls are the commonest birds in our garden. There is one or a pair somewhere in the garden during most of the day. They like to  come closer to the human habitations. 

The last photo of a Bulbul with its bird call was in response to the food  it spotted in the feeding station. Most Bulbuls announce through bird calls when they spot food in the vicinity. 

I keep looking for any distinguishing feature I can identify in each Bulbul. I have not been successful in identifying in the commonly visiting Bulbuls any distinguishing physical feature. 

But I got familiar with the behaviour and the tone of the bird calls of some Bulbuls. That helps me to observe them and learn how they relate to their own species, other birds and squirrels. 

One distinguishing feature of Bulbuls is its habit of choosing to feed together in the feeding station. 

The Barbets feed alone. It is not common to find two or three Barbets together at the feeding station. They have a gregarious feeding habit. Some of them would even carry one banana and go to a solitary place to feed by itself. 

It is now 14 years since Anna and I have been resident in our cottage. We have come across different generations of birds. The bird behaviours change. One behaviour that is different since we have a food and water corner for them in our garden, is that birds are comfortable with each other. There is a sharing attitude between them. 

The two Bulbuls who come into the dining table of the cottage are the ones who have learned to ask for food. If there is no food in the feeding station, they will come to the dining area and call out for us. They would come to the dining room if there is banana kept on the table. Their bid calls for food are different from the usual bird calls. 

The largest number of photos I have taken in the last 14 years since living in our cottage is those of the birds. When we got a a booklet published two years ago, with photos of the common birds and description of their behaviour we observed in our garden, we thought that we have become familiar about their behaviour. 

Now two years later, we are still learning about bird behaviour that makes us even more curious to know more about their behaviour. Anna mentioned the other day, that it is time we have a coffee table book with the birds in our garden!

I find that the birds help us to be observant and patient. Some birds like the Tit below has an ultra short stay in one station. Its movements are so quick that half the time the photos I take are blurred. 

The Bulbuls on the other hand move slowly giving us time to watch and take photographs leisurely.  

Anna and I are grateful to the avian friends, who make our experiences in the garden refreshing each day!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

The routine!

Daphne's routine in the evening is a good round of exploration in our garden. It is when the evening meal is served, which would make her return to her kennel yard on her own. Otherwise she is happy to be moving about doing different things she is fond of doing. 

A few days back, I called her to come in to the kennel;  she stopped outside the kennel yard, and refused to move in, in spite of calling her a few times. She had a reluctant face and kept looking at me as if she was not ready to go in. 

That is when I wondered if she strolled enough in the grass! When I asked her, 'want to go to the grass', she ran to nibble the grass in the lawn. 

Amidst the other routines, she is used to strolling in the lawn, which she might have  missed on that  day. 

When I called her after ten minutes, she readily came to enter the kennel yard. 

Anna and I  have got familiar with the routines of Dulcie and Daphne.  We know from their body language some of their needs and wants. 

One walk Daphne expects every morning is to walk with me to open the gate and collect the newspaper from the gate. When I let her out of the Kennel yard in the morning, she goes around the house and comes to me looking in the direction the gate! She would indicate her displeasure by sitting down if that is denied to her. 

I have had occasions when parents would talk about disobedience  when a pre-school  child takes time to respond to what parents might want him to do. I am of the opinion that a child might be occupied with something that  he is not yet ready to move on to what parents might want him to do. 

I remember a parent telling their son, that you have ten more minutes to play. Will you come in when I call you! That was what happened after ten minutes.. The child can also negotiate for an extra time, which is also the right of the child. This parent told me that the time to go for playing and returning are not stressful, ever since they introduced the conversation about it and offered willingness to negotiate.  

The  parent-child relationships would improve if parents have a mind tuned to honour the interests of the child to the extent that is possible. 

Anna and I learn about the canine ways of responding and relating from the behaviour of our dogs. 

I wonder if parents would consider that their children are resources for them to learn more about parenting practices!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Birds, Spider, and Squirrel in the garden!

 

A garden is a hospitable home for birds, spider and squirrel. Sometimes I fail to notice them amidst the attraction that flowers offer. 

The birds get noticed when they chirp or move about. Not when they are perched still like the Barbet and  Bulbul in the photos above. They stayed watching the sights or waiting for their food! The spider is a regular occupant in the flowers often hidden under petals. 

We leave the fruits in one in Papaya tree in our garden for birds and squirrels as we have other papaya trees. The picture below is the photo in the morning with a fruit appearing ripe! 

By the afternoon a squirrel was feeding on it! 

A pair of squirrels took turns to come and feed and by the evening it was half eaten. 

I noticed a Tree pie perched on the cable beside the Papaya tree, hoping to relish the fruit when the squirrel left. That did not happen during the time I stayed watching it. 

I was amazed that the Tree pie was patient and had not chased away the squirrel! Hungry birds can also be patient! 

I am becoming familiar with the ground rules the birds follow to be accommodative of other birds or squirrel.  I suppose that birds are more accommodative of each other who are frequent visitors or residents in the garden.

The best part of the day is the day break time, when the resident birds and few visitors gather in the trees around our court yard and engage in bird calls, often reciprocally. 

The 'community' of birds in our garden get used to our presence. They would come to the steps of our cottage to look out for us, although they are not comfortable if we go too close to them. 

A pair of Munia come regularly close to our door and perch in the cable. Their bird calls alert us of their presence during the mid day. 

A day in the garden is full of events. The avian movements,  their interaction and movements bring something to look forward to each day!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)