'Lie down in green pastures'

It was a late afternoon on a Sunday, which is when I  do my weekly walk to look for sights that inspire me. The sky was blue with its princely look with white clouds. The gentle breeze on a humid afternoon provided a cooling effect on the skin. 

The two cows in the field further away drew my attention. One cow, the younger of the. tow was still on its feet and looking for its feed before returning to the stable. Its look suggested that it still needed more feed. 

The older cow was blissfully resting looking sober and content. It chose the shade to rest, still allowing the the late afternoon sun to fall on her. 

What is special in its composure that struck me. It was lying down on the grass, which would entice any cow wanting to feed more. To see a cow rest in the midst of plenty op food is a paradox. It is as though it has chose content with n to detach itself form the desire to have more. The cow seemed content with the grazing for the day. 

It is those who have plenty who are still greedy to have more. It is often a surprise to see anyone who lives in plenty and has enormous prospects to advance in prosperity coming to a voluntary self restraint form acquiring more. 

A  friend who has been a banker and successful in few other initiatives is looking for opportunity to invest more because he lives by the instinct of 'wealth creation'. That is a passion that he is fond of and advocates that as a business formula for others. 

As against this, Mr Bill Gates in a recent interview about his marriage said, 'what is plenty unless family life is plentifully rich, harmonious and endearing'! Yes, his direction in life and value system changed about ten years ago for him when he retired from Microsoft, which he co-founded in order to pursue philanthropy.  

The cow in its composure brought to my consciousness of what David the shepherd sand to himself in Psalm 23:1-2, ' The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures'.

There is enough and 'I shall not want' is a vision to live by. 

Anna and I are preparing ourselves to retire from our long years of professional life. We come to this cross road: Is this God our shepherd! The sheep feels secure and provided for in the company of the shepherd. How are we to stay in that state of composure and contentment! 

It is when there is joy of living the, burdens in life roll away to the margins.  The last verse in Psalm 23 is most reassuring: 'Surely goodness and loving kindness will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever'!

Both cows look healthy, but the second cow had a restful composure! What do I chose!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The exterior and the interior !

The first picture in this blog gives an inside and outside view of the flower in its opening phase. 

The second picture of an opening flower provides only a outside view.

No view is complete unless we have an inside and outside view. 

Look at the contrast between the outside and the inside. 

It is the inside view that is authentic. It is the inside of a flower that holds our attention rather than an outside view. 

Jesus of Nazareth made a comment about this, which comes to my mind now. 'But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man' (Mat.16:18).

What is that we carry in our hearts is what matters. 

I recall a conversation with a friend, who wronged a person disproportionate to all expectations. It was almost a deceitful act. A friend took advantage of the situation to his benefit with the consequence of harming the friend. Listening to the story, I felt lost and embarrassed. Outwardly they are friends, but inwardly one was plotting against the other. I remembered how Judas pretended to a follower of Jesus only to betray Jesus to the Jews leading to the arrest and crucifixion of Jesus. 

I took time during the last week end to go back to review instances when I let down or betrayed friends or strangers. I review some situations, where I could have been different. 

What resides in our thought world is what matters. It is with our thoughts we set out to do good or pursue self promotion. 

I came across an instance when those in authority were high handed without showing any consideration to the vulnerability of a suffering person who took a short cut at work. I also came across a situation,  when a colleague went out of his way to provide comfort and care for someone who was silently suffering. 

Our inner world needs regular audit. It is a place where anger, resentment, enmity, jealousy and self pursuit can remain hidden. 

How refreshing to have friends whose inner thoughts towards us are genuinely affectionate and upbuilding! Let the interaction we have with each other spring from within, where honesty and truth reside. May we receive each other with an attitude of welcome and be know for transparency and integrity!

M.C.Mathew (photo and text)

How are we to behold each other!

Two Barbets in our guava tree ! It is one of the morning flight stations for some of the Barbets. I counted five of them one morning.  

As I noticed them in a silent presence and conversation with each other, I felt that silence is also a communication mode. 

The Quaker tradition is to meet in silence when they come together. At the end of the appointed time of silence, they are free to express what they experienced during silence. This form of practice had significant contributions in human history. 

During the second word war and the earlier years of persecution of the Jews, it was the Quaker movement who initiated a resistance campaign against the invasive culture of Adolf Hitler. Many Quaker families in Europe shielded Jewish people from annihilation. In fact the stories of such families who offered hospitality to people of Jewish lineage are outstanding examples of how a resistance movement can be of considerable value in human history. 

I have a suspicion that the history in India is moving towards a state controlled media, internet communication, social media, judiciary, enforcement authority, internal security, etc. It is obvious that the agencies function with a partisan attitude. There is an increasing jubilation when a national party wins elections after election and another national party disintegrates due to its contradictions within itself. 

How I long to see the Indian society return to the Gandhian value of non-violence and personal integrity!

Have we stopped seeing each other as fellow humans! How much more we have to suffer because we see each other through the optic of religion, caste, political affiliation, etc! 

Humans are fellow beings!  

How unthinkable it is that the President of the United States would dismiss officials of high integrity from their jobs just because they consented to declare the just concluded national election as having been fair and above reproach!

There is a disintegration of values in the highest place of political power!

It is time to endorse another resistance movement to restore values in public life. 

All honest resistance movement would have a sound character of silence and withdrawal from public life as  the starting point of contemplative action!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Space and tolerance!

I found a squirrel and a wood pecker peacefully in close proximity for a while !

I pondered over this! Do I offer or spare space for others!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo) 
 

Sights and message!

 Flowers, a Parakeet, a Raven and a senior citizen!

I stopped to meet this senior citizen who was on his way back home with a bag of vegetables for his evening meal. He lives alone. He goes shopping on alternate days. He has a one room house, and gets a pension of 1500 rupees, which is his only income as of now. He feels alone and  his two children do not think of him. His two neighbours are his shelter, who take him to hospital for getting medicines for his obstructive air way disease. He confessed that he lived his life indulgently. He was not sober when I was talking to him. But his neighbours are fond of him. 

When I met him on the road in the evening, he was only 100 feet away form his home. It was getting cloudy. He invited me to come and visit his house. I had another fifteen kilometres to travel to reach home. I declined the invitation. 

As I drove back, I kept thinking about this senior citizen and his fragile body, but with a resolute spirit to live. He might be older than me by five or more years. 

During a consultation with a family yesterday, this came up. The government off india which established. national Trust to take care of older people with disability, is now withdrawing the offer as it is not a financially viable project. We live in an environment, where financial viability is the bottom line. I work in department which is not financially self-sufficient. The world has enough and more to sustain those who are disadvantaged. And yet, this need fades into the background on many occasions. 

I felt touched and moved, when a philanthropist offered to give a regular contribution to the department to make it financially more resilient. He was most generous and has done it for eighteen months now.

This world is a rich place of generosity and kindness. That is why I sandwiched the photo of the senior citizen with flowers and avians!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

The balancing hold !

Most dragon flies can rest their body in good balance by holding on to any objects with their forelimbs. Even a strong wind would not displace them.

Holding on to what! Even the slender leaf of the plant is not strong enough. It sways in the wind. Neither the leaf or the dragon fly get damaged in the wind. 

This is the resilient strength of the weak beings!

The weaker people due to their socio-economic or educational limitations are more enduring and persisting than some of us who have lot more in life. 

A labourer who scavenges in the street by collecting thrown away plastic bags and bottles gather enough to make an additional income of upto one hundred rupees every other day. He saves that money in a chit fund. Last year, he withdrew six thousand rupees from his one year's earning to get uniforms for his two children who joined school. 

I have other experiences which remind me that weakness can be a strength. God brings surprises in the lives of such people. A labourer told me that the employer gave him five thousand rupees as a gift for his help during the flood. That helped him to look after the expenses of his wife when she was admitted with appendicitis. 

When we feel down and out, God is near to us. I have felt down many times recently. But I was sustained through instances of encouragements. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

An experience of watching birds!

Most of the photographs above do not qualify to be good quality by photographic standards. However they were my best action photos of birds from our garden.

As I revisited these photos taken recently, I tried recalling the place and the my readiness to capture these sights. Some birds were at those spots only for few seconds. 

For someone like who has poor knowledge of the physics of light in photography, the above photos do not satisfy my expectations. 

I live longing to take better photos which I think is a good intention and dream. But I sensed that one can go through seasons in life without taking delight in what is possible rather than live only dreaming. 

I completed 37 years of practicing Developmental Medicine this month. I have some regrets in not having written enough about my observations, or consolidated the experiences with evidences or developed a handbook with the insights of these years. That disappointment comes up often.

But I took time during this week end to turn back on my clinical observations which led me to my learning about the neurological basis of developmental disorders. I counted 42 of them which significantly influenced my approach to Neuro-developmentally challenged children.

I entered into full time practice of Developmental medicine with no formal training in 1983. After two years of accessing information from different Child Development Centres overseas, I got a direction which got reinforced after my formal training at the Institute of Child Health in London. There was no formal training programme in the UK as it exists now. It was the annual month long observership in different Neuro-developmental departments and clinical neurology services during the next ten years that gave me roots and shoots to grow. It was during the three years at the Madras Institute of Neurology at the Madras Medical College, which expanded my horizon. 

A senior colleague, Dr K.C.Mammen told me a few years back, 'M.C, you were the first Developmental Paediatrician in India at a time when there was no such specialty in india. You started the first Child Development Centre in India at Chennai.. You established the first academic department of Developmental Paediatrics in CMC Vellore. Now will you turn to train fifteen Developmental Paediatricians in India !' 

I kept thinking about it over the last three years. For some reason, that did not move forward. After the post graduate Fellowship programme and PhD programme were started in CMC in 2005, three completed the fellowship programme and one out of the four completed PhD and another is in the final stage of completion. Since then I did not pursue the training component of my responsibility. 

Now I have started preparing for retiring from my formal responsibility in this discipline. 

As I looked at all the pictures of the birds just as they are, I felt good that it was possible to reach thus far in tracking birds and persist with that interest. 

I feel good that I was guided into Developmental Medicine while I was pursuing training in Paediatric cardiology. I feel good that with no formal recognition of this specialty until 1997, I was sustained by steadfast support of friends such as Dr David Morley, Dr William Cutting, Dr Ramesh Venkatraman, Dr Ajay Sharma, Dr Diane Smythe and a host of others. I am overwhelmed by their friendships and mentorship. 

I have been given much beyond what I aspired for. 

Life is for living and learning. What was not possible contributed to stay on course.  

These birds come and go. It is not possible to be possessive of them. Life experiences are a means to stay grateful and pursue the journey! Live holding on to faith and hope and not life experiences, achievements or positions or recognition. They are transient and drop away like leaves in a tree. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)