Looking back to move forward!

It is one year this week, since my bypass surgery for the heart. I took most of the last month to remember, reflect and meditate on the experiences of the last one year. It  also became a time of fasting from blogging. Let me recall three experiences of this season.

Pausing: The sudden illness with a  mild chest pain became an alarm signal in August 2013,which forced me to seek medical advice. The diagnosis: blocked coronary arteries. It raised questions in my mind as to how it could have happened  in spite of my careful diet and regular exercises. However, I was helped to turn that question to an opportunity to look at the daily rhythm, stress factors,  and make changes to correspond with the ageing process.  A child one morning, as I was walking to my room,  just before my illness said to me that I looked tired. So it was a call to live differently- carry the concerns of each day lightly and stay content.

Learning:   All heart patients have a common learning curve to understand the body and its responses.  The body is anatomically and physiologically conditioned by the mind and and inner self. To live from an inner restful state of mind is the way forward for heart patients. An eighty years old professor who needed cardiac surgery recently told me that he is still struggling to ‘let go’. He happened to mention that he cannot hold many things together even if he wanted and yet he is slow to give away control and surrender to another way of living- finding joy in the small things of life rather than look for something spectacular that others would take note of. Yesterday when Anna and I walked around our property along the walking track which was recently made, we were overjoyed to see how that changed the face of the property which was often overgrown with grass. Now there are flowering plants and recently planted fruit trees. There is a shift taking place within us- delight in what is given and what is possible!

Revising : A friend shared in a recent meeting, how he found spending time with his father has  become a profitable and refreshing experience. Earlier, he consulted his father for opinions and suggestions, but he now loves to have conversations with him centred on life experiences. I was inspired when I heard this. He was moving away from an earlier attitude of ‘wanting’ something more from his father to ‘sharing’ life events mutually. What a revised attitude to relationship! We are not individuals on a solitary journey but people called to be relational and inclusive. 

I am glad life is becoming more open with new prospects. It was a surprise to spot a blue butterfly for the first time, after the monsoon in our garden. It symbolised the prospect of an inner visitation from God!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)