Absence of Peace !

I happened to visit an ancient Church campus, which remains closed due to a dispute. The two factions of the church meet in separate make shift chapels for a long time now. The two factions have been fighting their case in the civil court for the possession of the church building and for establishing the right to worship.It  is  unlikely that it would get resolved soon. I was told by a member of the church that there are church properties in a similar dispute in other places in the state of Kerala. 

I kept wondering how a dispute can lead to such an extreme situation!

I presume, that two forms of disputes often evade an amicable resolution- marriage dispute and property dispute. There is something common between these two disputes. The dispute is often recurrent and is linked to rights and privileges. Both parties involved do not give in to create a space for dialogue.

A dispute escapes resolution when one or both parties do not give consent to settle it by offering concessions. The rigid and insistent behaviour is counterproductive. 

Two adults who resolved a dispute in a resolute way were Abraham and Lot. When a strife arose between the herdsmen of Abraham and Lot, Abraham, the elder of the two took the initiative to resolve it. Abraham told Lot, ‘..If you take the left, then I will go to the right; of if you go to the right, then I will go the left’(Gen.13:7-12). Lot made the choice and he dwelt in the plain and Abraham was left with the land of Canaan.

There is a perception of an apparent loss to one of the parties when the dispute has to be resolved. But in the long run, the resolution frees both the parties to engage in the pursuit of their choice. A prolonged dispute is emotionally demanding and consumes all our creative energy. It halts us from the pursuit of the possible. 

There are about fifteen nesting baskets for the birds in the bird house we have at home. For some reason, some birds prefer the baskets placed in the centre of the house. After chasing each other to occupy the preferred baskets, the birds settled down to nest in the available baskets. Now there is no dispute or forcing a bird out of its chosen basket. 

All disputes need an ending by building bridges. I wish there were more well organised dispute resolution initiatives at the family and community level!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)