03 July, 2024

Being with others at their cross road!






A closer look at the rose flowers in our garden during this monsoon season brought two realities to my attention. 

The flower petals have a dull look, probably because of being battered in the rain. There are insects which eat the petals and the buds. In the last photo, there is a Beatle in a bud, which is partly eaten by the insects. 

While listening to someone yesterday, I found out that, that person exists in a work environment, which invades that person's private life. There is fear of being misunderstood and criticised. The freedom to be oneself is denied. There is an intrusive atmosphere of judgemental attitude. 

Our formative process as individuals,  is facilitated by how much we feel accepted by others and encouraged to express ourselves. I remember several instances in my life when my work place became a growth experience, because there was encouragement to grow in a sense of belonging to people around. 

In one institution where I worked, I was asked if I would take an interest in keeping in touch with the middle level faculty! It was an invitation from the administration, which helped me to listen to several issues that they were confronted with. The two significant outcome out of that listening exercise, was the starting of a creche for infants and  toddlers of working parents and making provisions for part time job for professionals, when they encountered emergencies. 

It was during that season of several conversations and home visits to meet professionals, I became aware of the vulnerable situations that middle level faculty go through, unknown to those in the administration. 

The rose flowers get restrained by adverse circumstances. That is how many professionals feel when their needs and aspirations remain unattended. Their joy of work and growth personally get impaired when pressures of circumstances come heavily on them. The mid life is a season of generatively according to Erickson. It is a season of blossoming personally, socially and professionally. It is that formative experience which gets deranged, when people during mid life feel heavy with burdens to carry. 

A professional whom I met recently, whose infant was welcomed in the first batch of the creche in 2009, told me that it was that provision of day care of their child, which helped them to stay on in that institution. They were at that time getting ready to leave the institution. That couple since then has made a significant contribution in the life of that institution. Their home is a welcome place of hospitality now. 

How gratifying it is to be associated with the turning points in the life of people. 

When Anna and I were at a cross road, while living in Chennai to develop a Child Development Centre for developmentally challenged children in 1984, a friend created an opportunity for advanced training in child development and rehabilitation. We were beginning to feel bereft of ideas, enthusiasm and resources. The two years of training experience brought a sea  of change in our lives, which sustained Anna and me in the subsequent forty years of our involvement in child development activities.  

Life is in formation through different seasons. To accompany those who feel lonely or stranded is a gift of love, for their formative experience in life!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

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