Frozen or feeling!

On a rainy morning yesterday, I noticed a Bulbul and two parakeets in a posture, looking down on what is in their field of vision. 

I moved out into our garden during the short time, when it stopped raining. 

It was after seeing the news clippings of devastation that a landslide caused in the Malappuram district, where people lost their lives and houses. The landslide, occurring twice at night caused a colossal loss, with two residential areas devoid of any habitation, except for few partially damaged houses, making the land area looking submerged in soil and debris of uprooted trees. With a bridge and a road damaged, the access to rescue people and bring relief is restricted. 

Along  with this heart rending sights on the screen, came the clippings from the opening ceremony of the Olympics in Paris, denigrating the Last Supper of Jesus of Nazareth, before He was crucified. The performers dressed most inappropriately used symbols and actions to despise the solemnity and sanctity of that self giving act of Jesus where He washed the feet of His disciples!

It was two days earlier, three people who were training for civil service examination in New Delhi died of drowning, when water flooded the library of the coaching centre, which was in the basement.  

I do not know what the birds in the photos above were looking for or seeing! They seem to feel in the way they are intense in looking!

Seeing them looking intently, I felt moved to look and see, rather stay frozen in apathy and shock!

I began to feel within me traces of grief over the unfathomable sorrow of people affected by the landslide. I felt sorrowful over the opening ceremony of Olympics,  which was turned into an occasion of despising the symbol of faith of the followers of Jesus of Nazareth. I remembered the interview of a father, having lost his son in the drowning incident in Delhi given to the press, in which he said, 'I do not want to blame anybody for the flooding...I hope such things do not happen in future'.  Amidst this loss, he indicated a composure that moved and surprised me. 

A member of the Parliament, who earlier represented the Malappuram constituency, was interrupted by the Low Sabha speaker to cut short his brief reference on the landslide and loss of lives. I did not feel, that the speaker or most members of the parliament were touched by a devastation that affected hundreds of people. I wish there was a moment of silence to remember people in distress. The chairman of the Raja Sabha was kind to mention about what was being done by the government to hasten the rescue operation in Malappuram! He too did not allow time for the members of the house to express their grief! The majority of the members of both the houses of parliament did not seem to feel beyond hearing it as a news item! They were representatives of people, sent to the parliament to share the aspirations, needs and grief of people. Every mannerism and response of the ministers and the parliamentarians belonging to the ruling party, gave no indication of empathy or sensitivity! The political and social morality of politicians get expressed on such occasions to bring comfort and consolation to people in distress. There were some members of the parliament who felt and moved, but that was a small number. 

Do we live in a time, when glamour and sensational events alone receive attention! The fashion shows and performance of film artists are on the increase. The stories of human suffering get subsumed by deliberate planning to protect us from feeling and co-suffering!

I would have liked to walk around the garden for a longer time to connect with the uprising of thoughts within me! But the rain interrupted my walk.

The two sights below caught my attention while I was returning to the cottage. Two plants beside each other, both announcing the new life! They show a direction to the future!

The two buds above have a gestational period before they become flowers! Their defiance to overcome the inclement weather and other constraints awakened me to feel hopeful!

It is hope that enables us to feel sorrow, while experiencing the grief of others, because, a healthy community would share in the grief of others to offer support. It is hope which moves us to be self giving when others need help and attention. 

There was a family in the landslide affected area, who went around the neighbourhood to invite the families to move into their home, which was in a safer place. Even that house was flattened, but they escaped, as they moved out of the house, just before the water and soil washed away their house!

That good will gesture of offering their home to others is the sign of goodness abiding in human hearts! This is the reason for hope!

I feel the grief, I also hold on to hope!

What consoles me, is the statement of St Paul in I Corinthians 13: 13, "But now abide faith, hope, love, these three, but the greatest of these is love".

Anna mentioned to me in the evening yesterday, 'let us get a bag of clothes ready to send to families, who lost their homes in the landslide'!

The woman of Zarephath (1 Kings 17:10-16), had a feeling heart, because of which,  she provided food for Elijah, when she had just enough flour and oil left for a meal for her and her son, during the season of drought and famine!

Anna and I sung the hymn today, authored by John H. Newman, to encourage ourselves:

"Lead, kindly Light, amidst, the encircling gloom,

Lead, Thou me on!

The night is dark, and I am far from home,

Lead, Thou me on!

Keep, Thou my feet, I do not ask to see

The distant scene; one step enough for me.."

According Rev C.F.Andrews, an Anglican presbyter, who was a close associate of Mahatma Gandhi, during the freedom struggle for independence, it was the above hymn on which Mahatma Gandhi meditated and sang during the regular evening prayer in his ashram.

The moral landscape of India is changing, where neighbourly feeling is less strong.  The political climate is linked to holding on to power, and not being altruistic. The social climate is one of personal material prosperity and not of equity. 

There fore 'the night is dark....'

The triumphant note or the epiphany in the hymn above, is 'one step enough for me'! That is the pathway for those in pilgrim journey!

The call to live by, hope, faith and love resonates with me!

Even the butterfly finds its daily nectar in a flower during the rainy spell!

Even the birds of the air find food, during the season of heavy rain!

That is the certainty of hope, 'He who keeps you will not slumber...'(Psalm 121:3)

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The differences are the norm!

 

A walk into our garden often brings some surprise. Here is another surprise!

The different flowers in the same plant look alike in the photos above.

The two photos below, of flowers from the same plant looked different. I thought that it might be incidental.  

But my surprise got justified even more when I noticed two different texture, colour and formation of petals in the two flowers in the same branch. The two phots on two subsequent days confirmed that the flowers had two different patterns in the same branch. 

Having been a student of child development for forty five years, I have had to face enquiries from parents on several occasions about the difference they notice in the temperament, behaviour and conduct of children. Often whether they were two or three or four, they differed  from each other in appearance and behaviour. I am used to reasoning out with parents about the two genetic lineage parents bring into the life of their offspring which express differently in each conception. 

Over and above that, it was the influence of epigenetic influences during the formative years of the children which make children develop differently. The parents were younger when the first child arrived. When their third child arrived they were older by six to eight years. The experience of caring and upbuilding two other children gave parents lots of insights about parenting, which benefitted the third child. In some families, the older children contributed to the co-parenting of their younger child. 

Although I retired from professional work, the telephone calls I receive from parents refer to the difference they observe in their children and struggle to reconcile with the differing 'demands' the children place on them. When a pre-school child politely asks, requests and is patient to receive, the younger sibling cries, demands and insists, which make parents feel sometimes exasperated. The mother was available at home for the older child till he went to school at four years. Mother returned to work outside home when the younger child turned 2 years, leaving the child to be cared for by a domestic helper. On return from work, this child needed all the attention for the rest of the evening.  

Now the older child is eight years old and the younger one six years. Both children behave, respond and react differently. The older one engages in indoor activities and the younger one is fond of outdoor activities. The differences between are many according to parents. 

It was therefore refreshing to see the two differently looking rose flowers in the same branch. The differences did not reduce its colour, aroma or nectar. 

The sameness between children is an exception. The differences do exist, but each has his or her charm, uniqueness and trajectory of development. 

I wish parents knowing that children behave differently and do not engage identically,  parents would develop their style of responding corresponding to the habits and patterns of each child. 

A home is a coming together of strands of behaviour and interests, which if recognised and promoted, there is a richness of diversity and abundance of freedom for each child to be himself or herself. 

The book on 'Parenting your child' which Anna and I co-authored with Beula Wood in 2000 brought this dimension of honouring a child by avoiding comparison between children in a home. 

Now we are in the process of revising the book in the light of the experiences of the last 23 years to support children and to regard co-parenting as a vocation in the digital age. The surrogate parenting by the visual media is the practice in many homes from almost six months of age. A family told me yesterday that their two year old son grew up watching cartoons for six to eight hours each day from the age of six months. 

The differences in the conduct and behaviour of children might have strong connection with the home environment. 

However a flower is a flower; a child is a child. The differences between children get subsumed by the loving and affirming parental attitude and response! 

Let a child be himself or herself, not an imitation or substitute for anyone else!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The Sunday visitors !

 

After having been in the teak tree relishing the seeds, a family of parakeets came to our garden to feed on the tender arecanuts from the palm in our garden. It was the first time I noticed the parakeets in this florescence of the palm tree. It was a gathering of few families of parakeets. 

What surprised me was that they stayed on in the garden for a while moving between trees. I noticed their different postures. One was perched with one leg, another was leaning its body on a branch as if it was resting and another pair was perched facing each other in attentive listening. 

Their feeding habits are different from that of Bulbuls, Magpie robins or Barbets. They need chewy and juicy fruits, unlike the pulpy and soft fruits. 

Another palm next to the palm with the tender fruits, had arecanuts that are older. The parakeets had no interest in them. 

As they are choosy, the parakeets are long distance fliers each day to find their feed. They often have a migratory habit except during the nesting season. They are less sociable towards smaller birds. They are noisy and fly with loud screeching bird calls. The Bulbuls look up when the parakeets fly above them and stay still. 

The parakeets in their feeding and social behaviour are different from some of the birds we come across in our garden. They too bring colour and aesthetic tone to the bird life in our garden. 

It was an occasion to have had a closer and longer view of them yesterday. 

A garden is a home for all of them. 

I wish the human hearts would also be a home for our neighbours! When that happens, Russia would stop invading Ukraine and Israel will stop bombarding the Palestinians. 

In India, we need more social and religious acceptance of each other! It is good to see how the conservatives and liberals speak a language of acceptance after their recent national elections! Whereas the Prime Minister of India and the opposition leader look for an opportunity to 'attack' each other.  

With the campaign for the election in the USA has commenced, we can hear the language of intolerance from both national parties! 

It is by being thoughtful towards others, even towards 'enemies', we overcome evil with good ! We create a home for our neighbours by acts of kindness. 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo) 

Water on leaves, buds and flowers!

 

I gathered the recent photos of leaves, buds and flowers, I took of our garden, during the rainy season. 

Most of these photos were taken within fifteen minutes of a rain fall. 

From among a large collection of photos, I picked up the above, which look different from each other. The water drops remained in different patterns in each of them. The difference was noticeable.

There is something distinct in each leaf, bud or flower which makes it receive the water drops and retain them on their surface in a particular way. 

We live in a season, where the differences instead of being valued as variety to celebrate and recognise, there is a compulsion to conform to a pattern which suits the majority. The current Prime minister of India used to speak about 'one language, one election, one nation...'! There is an advocacy for sameness of approach to faith, immigration, economy, foreign policy when the USA is into the election mode currently. The French are fighting a polarised political orientation of extremism. The war in Palestine and Ukraine comes out of this compulsive attitude of wanting to dominate!

Where is freedom to be oneself?

When the current human mindset is bordering to the line of Adolf Hitler's thinking, which created the Second World War and all that followed, I pause to look at the photos above and comfort myself in knowing that variety is the spice of life. 

The foundation of the civil rights movements of Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi,  Martin Luther king Junior, or  Nelson Mandela were founded on the principle social morality. A society is a congregation of individuals, where there is an acceptable diversity to converge for the common good. 

The Olympics is a gathering together of different forms of athletics, track events, aquatics, games, gymnastics, shooting, and sports. It is a celebration of human creativity and endurance. 

I feel that a political ideology in the national life is to form human consciousness to formulate this social morality. The recent awakening about social justice for those in the bottom of the population pyramid in India is a welcome sign of hope! 

I find it appalling when factions of a church fight over the ownership of church buildings or believers fight over whether the Eucharist ought to be celebrated facing the congregation or by Eastward looking ! 

It is a time to move away from, 'me, myself, mine' to the good Samaritan's attitude, when he became a caregiver to a stranger! It was an illustration of how a stranger was received as a neighbour!

The above phots of water drops creating designs on leaf, bud and flower illustrate the richness of diversity! What is essential is to honour this diversity and bring the umbrella of social morality based on values that promote integrity in life and integrated living! 

Is not the different voice tones, which create a choir to offer a musical feast!

Jesus of Nazareth had 12 close associates who were temperamentally and behaviourally different. In fact, one among them who kept the money bag had a habit of pilfering. The common good and purpose shall subsume the differences! 

The nature is a tutor telling us, that the earth is a home for diversity to  co-exist cordially!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Waiting patiently!

One sight, that I watch with interest is what some birds do to get their turn  to the feeding bowl. They wait in the adjoining tree trunks till the birds already feeding, leave the bowl. I do not remember seeing birds chase others away to get an access to the food bowl. This to me is the  a fraternal behaviour towards fellow birds, even when a bird is hungry and longing for food. 

This  orderly behaviour is inherent to avians. It is their habit. 

I watched a man climb over our wall yesterday, to gather the nutmeg fruit from the trees. He lives by pilfering. Someone mentioned to me that he likes to take away whatever he can find, rather than look for a job for his income. He has slipped into alcohol dependence. His story is sorrowful. A shop keeper told me that this man brings fruits stolen from different places to sell in his shop. His moral threshold has fallen!

When I heard a presentation in the Indian parliament yesterday that the unemployment among the youth in India is 83 percent, it shocked me. Mr Rahul Gandhi, who stopped at a wayside cobbler's shop yesterday, heard from the cobbler that his income was not able to sustain his family. 

Ever since we started feeding the birds, those who come to feed has increased to fifty or more each day. We replenish the food four times in a day in the recent weeks, when the rain fall was heavy.

I feel disturbed by the social distress! To see a healthy man live by stealing was disturbing. He has dehumanised his life, by not working with his hands to bring dignity to his life by exercising his ability! 

This too is a mission worth pursuing! 

Dr William Cutting, past 80, is engaged in making senior citizens feel that they are able to give! He through his blogs and books calls upon them to keep well in order to be giving! As elders, it is an opportunity to give to bring dignity to those who 'throw away' their lives in pursuit of pleasure and happiness and live depleted of inner wellness!

The birds in the first picture moved away after a while to allow the waiting birds to come to feed. 

We can create space for others to feel welcomed and refreshed! Sometimes we feel restrained by the cost of giving or giving up! That is what senior citizens have to overcome! There is enough to give!

For Anna and me, our desire in the recent years, has been to learn to live a simple life, and occupy our time to engage in activities which make us inwardly alive, physically fit and socially conscious! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

  

Life, Living and Learning....!

When I looked out standing at the steps of our cottage, I viewed this vast expanse in to the horizon with tall trees looking fresh and elegant in the morning sunshine. That made me ponder on what might be happening in this wooded space, where the ground and the trees become a home for birds and plants. 

It was not practical to walk about a kilometre on a rainy day, to look around what one can find in the ground and on the trees. 

I decided to walk around our garden, and look up into the trees and down to the ground. I walked from one end to the other, using the foot path existing in the garden. 

I took several photos. some of which, I present here to depict the variety of birds, squirrel, butterflies, plants and flowers. 

 

When I down loaded the photos a little over hundred of them, I felt overwhelmed by the life around us, that I do not normally behold, to feel a sense of wonder and surprise at what goes on in our garden! I was unaware that there is so much in the garden that go on during day and night, till I visualised them during the walk. 

A look into the wide expanse of the wooded space did not reveal each of the above scenes. It was by becoming present to them, I got a closer view of life that our garden sustains. I watched insects, beetles, caterpillars, wild flowers in the overgrowth on the ground, trees with their different branching patterns and plants with flowers and fruits. 

An intense  search is going on of ten days now, in Ankola for a driver who was missing after a landslide, in which his truck was washed away in the flooded river beside. The best of the experts in rescue operation available in India are present in the site to find the missing person. The land slide occurred because soil was removed in an unscientific way, from a hill for building a road high way!

One life matters. Each tree, plant, bird, butterfly, flower and fruit mattes!

It is in this abundantly rich environment, which sustains life, that we live and belong to, during our earthly voyage. 

I returned after the walk feeling, how much more, we ought to be regardful, to keep our environment healthy and green for life to go on!

From being exploiters of the environment, the message is to become stewards of our environment. 

Our life is a gift given to us; we can bring the gift of a safe environment to generations beyond us! I had not grasped enough of what is often referred to as eco-friendliness. The walk in the garden brought a new awareness about being responsible to keep our garden favourable to preserve  normal life!

Now I feel even more drawn towards the spirit of the hymn, composed by Carl Boberg and translated by S.K. Hine:

O Lord my God, when I  awesome wonder wonder,

Consider all the works Thy hands have made,

I see the stars, I hear the mighty thunder,

Thy Pow'r throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul....

When through the woods and forest glades I wander

An hear t birds sing sweetly in the trees,

When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur,

And hear the brook, and feel the gentle breeze,...

Then sings my soul...

My response to this experience is: walk through life, seeing, hearing, feeling,  treasuring and sharing! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) and