Women at work!

I have had many mothers in the recent months share during the consultation for their developmentally challenged children, about some relief of the benefits that they have had due to the many concessions they received during the COVID season- working from home, shorter working days in a week, reduced working hours during the day, etc. Now all the concessions are getting removed, and work schedule returning to the earlier times, mothers have had to look for more time for home making. 

A mother shared her story of getting up at 4 am on working days to get everything ready for the family, of her husband, two children and her husband's ageing parents before she can leave home for work at 8.30 am. She would return at 5 pm and the evening would get prolonged to 11 pm before she would be ready for bed. The domestic helper was a big help to complete many domestic chores. With the average sleeping time of only five hours, working hours of 8 hours at work, supporting  children to complete their home work and shopping twice weekly, she sounded stretched but not stressed. She spoke of her home being a place that she was happy to return to and longed to be engaged in the different relational activities at home. Her children help her at dinner time; her husband looks after many household chores and the grandparents take part in the work in the kitchen. 

Her younger son who finds studying difficult, particularly writing has occupied her attention recently. Now that she is in the eigth standard, the challenges are even more. Even this normally stressful situation has not taken away her joy of her family life!

I found this narration of her life and work related situation captivating and a pointer to the demands that are on all women at home! Her cheer fun spirit was a tribute to the spirit of resilience with women!

One woman who is good at knitting uses her travel time and conversation times to knit. Another interested in fabric design produces neatly made pillow covers for charity sale during the Christmas season. A third mother paints and her paintings are highly rated. A fourth mother found time to sing in the choir and join for the practice once a week. 

As I think of the multitasking which women do, I realise how life has turned out differently for women! They adjust better while caring. They have a broad shoulder about which they do not boast about! I wish men would pause and reflect on issues like co-house keeping, co-parenting, etc.  

I took time to reflect on my role at home. I find that I share far less now in the daily chores at home than what I used to do earlier!

I find myself carried away into work place related issues, instead of being centred in the affairs of home; there is a lot Anna does quietly in keeping our home a comfortable place to live, share our experiences, and share hospitality to visitors.  

The gifts women bring to our lives are many and most of them are engaged in a self giving service. I hope I can take better notice of them and express gratitude and appreciation to Anna. 

It is when we honour and affirm women through thoughtful ways, we promote wellness of women,  who serve us with attention and care! 

If there is one thing I would like to still work on is to promote wellness between husband and wife that they shall become one. 

The following pictures of a Bee eater bird family came to me as a mission to ponder on! They were seen together and yet distant from each other in the first picture. The second picture is a symbol of nearness and the third picture is of that of the two becoming one. It is oneness that most married couples are yet to experience. Sometimes they do not even long for that experience!

Those who journey together to become one in marriage relationship convey a serene composure, restfulness and attitude of mutual self giving, which becomes an aroma for others to take in!

As against, I wonder whether any married couples live staying distant from each other in a conflict prone ambience. I wonder whether the body composure of this picture  alludes to such a reality!

Let me send this rose bud from our garden to all married couples who set their hearts on a pilgrimage towards intimacy in their married life! Anna and I send greetings of love!

M.C.Mathew (photo and text)