Self disclosure !

 

I happened to notice this butterfly in its resting pause on the foliage of a plant!

It moved its wings in small ranges initially. Then it became a full range of movements with wings spread out widely. 

The designs and patterns in the wings outside and inside weer different. I felt fascinated by both. The wings when closed and open gave two different details about the butterfly. It was the movements of its wings that revealed itself. 

I have come across this as a challenge to explore in my involvement in child development consultation with parents. It is only as much as parents feel free for self disclosure, one gets to know the family dynamics, which affect the child's development, communication and behaviour. 

We know only as much as anyone reveals himself to us.  If we can wait without curiosity or pressure to know more,  the natural self disclosing experience will guide the person to be open. 

The openness towards each other is the way to find a common ground to relate to each other. We often relate to others, knowing others incompletely. It is the listener who makes the person comfortable to be open to the extent that person is ready. 

We seek to know each other, to grow in trust and share a heart level communication. 

This is the path for intimacy in marriage. 

It is also the pathway for trustful relationship between parents and children. 

It is the pathway for developing companionship with others. 

The mutuality in self disclosure is an ongoing process. It is one way, we build supportive friendships. One draws strength and inspiration from the other person, when we share with each other our journey experiences honestly and openly. 

This can happen only when confidentiality is honoured.  

We are more than what others know of us. We feel comfortable to share more of ourselves only when relationship is trustful, mutual and upbuilding!

We grow when others listen and affirm us! We enable others to grow when we receive them just as they are!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)