'A dead dog like me' !

One of the disturbing and restraining experiences that I have had to encounter during my association with children who were developmentally challenged for forty years, was a question that children in mid-childhood asked themselves, 'Why am I different from others'? If a physical limitation is pronounced and they could not function as well as other children,  this question was even more pronounced in their mind.

The parents too had similar questions, 'Why has this limitation occurred to our child' ? 

In the early years of my work, with less experience and insight, these questions passed through my mind and evoked very little emotion to feel the depth from where this question surfaced in the mind of a child or parents. It was therefore possible to regard it as their journey through grief cycle and I comforted myself about the resolution of this question in their mind, when they move out of the grief cycle.  

In the late nineteen eighty, when an engineering graduate in his early adult life, who had some physical limitations asked me this question, it caused a stir within me. He worked in an office, where there was no access to a lift or a ramp. He lived in an apartment with his parents in the third floor which too had no lift. I foresaw him at snail's pace   laboriously climb the steps and reach the place of work or home physically tired. I sensed that his spinal curvature was also going to be affected by this uneven walking. When he told me that the only physical exercise or sports that he could participate was swimming. The nearest swimming pool was ten kilometres away. He owned only a there wheeled automobile. He was anxious to travel through busy streets to reach there. That created another wave of discord within me. When he mentioned to me, that he was fond of getting married, but he is yet to find a woman who would accept his minimal physical limitations, although well employed and hailing from a family of accomplished parents with good social standing! When he said this, I wondered whether he stopped living with hope or pursue an aspiration!

I knew another person, with lower limbs paralysed needing a pair of crutches to walk.    He moved about in motorised three wheeler in the city of Chennai. He was well placed in a managerial role and started a support centre at Chennai to help adults who were differently abled. When I arranged for a long interview with him to go beyond the layers of emotion associated with restrictions during his mid life, I was naive, with no real perspectives about the challenges of an adult living under several physical constraints. It was during the conversation, I got introduced to the multiple realities and feelings associated with being differently abled. He said, every evening, he had this question, 'how long will I be able to go on like this'? He already needed three surgeries and prolonged hospitalisation. He talked about the stare from some people with no indication of friendship of compassion in their face.

On another occasion, while visiting the L'Arche community at Chennai, I met young adults who lived in a home  with assistants, sharing life experiences with them. One young person who had many abilities, but limited language skills, lived his life in his 'silent world' not being able to socialise enough. At the evening tea time, when Anna and I arrived to visit, he came towards us offering the snack he was served at tea time. Little later, we saw him sitting in a corner crying. His assistants mentioned that he would have outbursts of sorrow when he cannot communicate. His sorrow was reflected on his face when we left. We happened to see the note book he used, to draw. It had pages of sketches in grey colours, in a large book with no body else drawn beside him!

One book that introduced me to the world of unspoken feelings and thoughts of such adults with developmental challenges was The broken body, journey towards wholeness by Jean Vanier, the founder of L'Arche international. In the introduction he wrote: 

So many of us flee from people crying out in pain,

people who are broken.

We hide in a world of distraction and pleasure 

or in 'things to do'.

We can even hide in various groups of prayer 

and spiritual exercises,

not knowing that a light is shining 

in the poor, the weak, the lonely and the oppressed.

Or if we do not flee from suffering 

perhaps we revolt in anger,

and this, too blinds us to the light of Jesus

glowing in people who are in pain'. (p1).

Following reading this book, Anna and I were invited to attend retreat that Jean Vanier conducted at St Andrew's church, Chennai in 1989, which brought another awareness about the 'light that remains lit in the painful body of a developmentally challenged person, an experience he or she can share with us only when we come close to feel and walk with them'.

This truth above became demystified gradually but in an intense and personal form in 1997, while reading the book, Adam, God's beloved written by Henri.J. Nouwen, the last book he wrote before his home call in 1996. He wrote: 'For many years I had reserved the word, incarnation for the historic event of God's coming to us in Jesus. Being so close  with Adam, I realised that the 'Christ event' is much more than something that took place long ago. It occurs every time spirit greets spirit in the body. It is a sacred event happening in the present because it is God's event in people. That is what the sacramental life is all about. It is God's ongoing incarnation whenever people meet in God's name. My relationship with Adam was giving me new eyes to see and new ears to hear. I was being changed much more than I even anticipated' (p 41).

Rev Dr Henry J Nouwen was a Dutch catholic priest who was a professor of Psychology and theology in Yale and Howard universities, who resigned to live in the Day break community at Toronto to share his life with people who were developmentally challenged. Adam Arnett, a person with multiple needs became a friend of Henry. During those ten years till Adam moved on, one year before the home call of Henry, Henry had ten years of association with Adam as an assistant. Henry took a sabbatical after ten years, during which time he wrote this book, which could only be published only after Henry too moved on.  

On the last Sunday morning service at St Andrew's church before Anna and I relocated at the Christian Medical College, Vellore in February, 1997 the Old Testament reading was from 2 Samuel 9:1-13. It is the Biography of Mephibosheth (painting above), the son of Jonathan, grandson of king Saul, who was 'crippled in both feet'. According to 2 Samuel 4:4, Mephibosheth slipped from the hand of his nurse at the age of five years and lost mobility independently. King David was wanting to give favour to all members of the family of king Saul. Mephibosheth since then dined at David's table and received all that was left of king Saul's wealth. David had to hide in fear from Saul for years even after David was anointed as the king. Yet, David was keen to show kindness to the kindred of Saul. 

When Mephibosheth came to meet, King David, he prostrated himself before David and said: 'What is your servant, that you should regard, a dead dog like me'?(2 Sam :8).

This confession of Mephibosheth was etched in my memory since then. 

How low a person with a developmental challenge can feel within himself or herself about his or her status as a person!

Having had this awakening within me, I have been on a journey since then to find a way to access the hidden emotional estimate children carry about themselves deep within. Usually, even those who are seriously challenged give indications of the self esteem they carry within themselves. The parents of such children also carry deviant impressions of their own self worth. 

I realised in the recent years that, the earlier one is able to get an introduction to the self awareness about oneself, the better it is to help to augment the self esteem. to grow in awareness that he or she is 'the beloved' in the sight of God!

As professionals we are involved in a sacred mission to befriend those who are 'beloved of the creator God'. This changes our perspective at work and in relationships with their families. There is an ethos of  sacredness and stewardship when we are professionally associated with developmentally challenged children and their families as they are beloved in God's sight. 

I confess that it took a long journey and process to be guided to this ground breaking insight, about developmentally challenged children. 

I have had some vivid experiences in the recent thirty years of how  I experienced some children and their families minster to me as 'messengers of a loving God' ! They were radiant of God's presence and light in their being and doing! 

There were days I drove home in the evening from my workplace with songs in my heart as one or two families on that day were 'wounded healers' touching my soul deeply!

The embracing posture of King David in the first  painting, is a symbol of how he was already touched by Mephibosheth at the first meeting! King David needed Mephibosheth at his table to feel ministered with grace, peace and humility! 

Those with neuro-developmental challenges are people who bring us a message of human vulnerability and resilience. They need a larger space in society to be present and influence!

It is rest of us, who can support them to redeem their true self of honour and dignity!

M. C.Mathew (text and panting from Internet)

When Prayer forms Life!

 

The story of four people, Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah of Jewish origin, taken to captivity in Babylon in the 6th century BC, when the king Nebuchadnezzar besieged the city of Jerusalem, is often referred to as an experience of prayer. 

The king renamed them as Belteshazzar, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego. They were chosen to be in the King's court and instructed to learn the literature and language of Chaldeans. Their overseer was given responsibility for their upkeep and instructed to train them, 'in intelligence in every branch of wisdom, endowed with understanding, and discerning knowledge and who had the ability for serving in the King's court..' (Daniel:1.4). They were to dine at the Kings table, but they instead chose to live on vegetables and water. 

The first two paintings I gathered from the internet, depict the scene of the four men refusing the food offered to them from the King's table. 

The third painting is that of the four men in the habit of praying to God  of their faith, in the Jewish tradition. 

The fourth painting is how the King was pleased to find the four men exceptionally able and wise at the end of ten days, after having been on diet of their choice. They were chosen to be in the King's court to be in the personal service of the king. They were found to 'have knowledge and intelligence every branch of literature, and wisdom;  Daniel even understood all kinds of visions and dreams' (Dan1:17)

The king had a forgotten dream and according to it, the Chaldeans were to kill the 'wise men of Babylon', including these four men the king appointed to be in the King's personal service. Daniel and the three friends sought God to find 'compassion from the God of heaven concerning this mystery, so that Daniel and his friends might not be destroyed with the rest of the wise men of Babylon' (Dan 2:19).

Daniel having revealed the mystery of the dream to the King, was promoted to be the ruler 'over the whole province of Babylon and chief prefect over all the wise men of Babylon' (Dan2:48). Daniel recommended his three friends to be appointed as administrators of the province of Babylon, while Daniel remained in the Kings Court (v 49).

As Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego refused to worship the golden image the King made, were put into a fiery furnace, which is what is seen in the fifth painting. They were protected and the king seemed to have noticed a fourth person in the furnace, all of them 'loosed and walking about in the midst of the fire without any harm' when he came to look for them. Nebuchadnezzar responded to this sight by saying, 'Blessed be the God of Shadrach..., who has sent His angel and delivered His servants who put their trust in Him, violating the King's command' (Dan 3:28). That was how the King was turned to have faith in the God of Daniel and his three friends. 

Daniel while serving the King Darius was in the habit of praying to God three times in a day, while being in charge of 120 satraps and overseeing the province of Babylon.  The satraps took exception to Daniel praying to God and not to the King, according to the decree the King passed on persuasion of the satraps (Dan 6: 8-9). 

For his refusal to pray to anyone except to the living God that he was used to, Daniel was put into a den of lions (v16) as seen in the last painting. The king feeling awful through the night fasted and spent a sleepless night. When the King arose at daybreak and came to the lions den, Daniel was found unharmed. It was following this King Darius made decree, 'that all in the dominion of my kingdom mean are to feared tremble before the God of Daniel.. ' (v26,27).

I felt moved to read the chapters quoted above from the book of Daniel in the Old Testament of the Bible as I wanted to get a glimpse of how prayer is formative in human conduct and behaviour. 

The four men in this historical story, were used to praying. What came out of their habit of prayer was integrity and ability that exceeded all that was known at that time. In fact these men had become a reason for jealousy because of which others plotted to harm them. 

The four men found their faith in God renewed during the trials they endured. Their habit of prayer formed their character and conduct. 

The prayer of the heart is a habit that is transformational ! 

I remember listening to a personal experience of a senior doctor. He was all set to go overseas for his higher studies, when a doctor from a mission hospital approached him to come and work in that hospital,  as a physician was needed in that hospital. It was the year 1970 probably. This doctor turned this into prayer. Having been an outstanding scholarly physician, many of his colleagues wished him to go overseas for advanced training. Following a season of waiting and prayer, the interest to go overseas decreased and faded away from his mind. He joined the mission hospital and served his professional life time of service except for a short break when he accompanied his wife to be in a medical college for her post graduate training. This doctor couple influenced scores of health care professionals in the hospital and elsewhere, because of the way they lived and served to make a difference in the lives of others. I felt moved when I heard, how prayer made his life take a different path and looking back he felt grateful for the guidance he received to work in a mission hospital. 

The habit of prayer of the heart is beyond the traditional rituals of religion. Jesus of Nazareth introduced an approach to prayer: 'But you, when you pray, go into inner room and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father, who in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will repay you'! (Matt 6:7)

The prayer of the heart is a secret experience of communion with God. It is not an external ritual. All forms of corporate prayer habits cannot substitute for this experience of the prayer of heart, when being in communion with God takes place in secret and in silence. 

The prayer of Daniel and his friends were personal habits of seeking to be in God's presence habitually. Their life, its mission, ethos, ethics and conduct were formed by prayer of the heart. The ritual of corporate prayer is a public expression of our solidarity with the faith community. But prayer of the heart leads us on in the formative journey. 

The prayer of the heart transcends to influence our inner formative experience in our pilgrim journey! Our decisions and choices get formed through this habit of prayer. It is God we shall find in silence in  the interior of our life, who then becomes the light in our lives. When that happens our optic changes !

I remember hearing late professor Dr Elsie Philip, a former president of the Christian Medical Association of India share her experience of  two neighbours who had an unresolved conflict between themselves. Following migrating to the north of Kerala they both acquired long stretch of land which they cultivated and lived in a friendly way. One of them. Jacob used to encroach on the property of John, which turned them to be less than friendly. Jacob suffered a stroke and was no more able to cultivate his land. Seeing his predicament and the needs of the family, John offered to cultivate the land. It took about three years for Jacob to be well enough to resume to work in the field. When John was asked by others who knew that Jacob harmed him, he decided to cultivate the land for Jacob, John said: 'While reading the story of Good Samaritan during the family prayer time, we as a family felt that God was calling us to be a Good Samaritan to Jacob'. John who stayed away from any contact with Jacob for two years stepped in to support the family. Professor Elsie Philip who knew both families said: 'I saw how prayer was transformational to bring together hostile neighbours'!

Daniel and his friends turned to God to receive strength to endure suffering. Their prayer made them endure the firey furnace and den of lions. Seeing four of them unharmed, two kings turned to trust in God and exhorted their subjects to turn to God. 

A physician while tarrying in prayer received a new direction to his life, which made him live fulfilled blessing many. 

A neighbour went out of his way to be helpful in spite of the harm he suffered from his neighbour. 

I find prayer becoming the means for inner transformation in the above instances. 

In the book, Seeds of Hope  edited by Robert Durback, Rev Dr Henri Nouwen, professor of psychology and philosophy at the Harvard University, who later resigned his position to live in the Daybreak community in Toronto, was quoted : 'A careful look at the lives of people for whom prayer was indeed "the only thing needed" (Luke10:42) shows that three "rules" are always observed: a contemplative reading of the Word of God, a silent listening to the Voice of God and a trusting obedience to a spiritual guide. Without the Bible, without silent timed without someone to direct us, finding our own way to God is very hard and practically impossible' (p69).

Prayer makes us God conscious and other centred. 

M.C.Mathew (all paintings from the Internet)

 Voice of God abs a trusting obedience to a sp

Choosing the heart-friendly way!

I happened to notice this rose bush, just about a foot high from the ground,  in our garden, immediately after I read some lead articles on the World Heart Day in the news paper today.  

This rose bush is a little over one year and this is the third time it is blooming with many buds. It receives good attention of all sorts as it is at the edge of our courtyard.

Life is given to us to bloom, where we are placed! But illnesses interrupt the quality of our presence. 

My thoughts went back to late 2013 when I had a tightness of chest while running to get into the train. On the return journey while walking  briskly with the luggage, I had a similar discomfort. 

I have been on regular cardiac monitoring for ten years prior to this when I was in the mid forties and followed the usual protocols suggested for wellness- physical exercise, Aspirin prophylaxis, Blood pressure monitoring, keeping Lipid profile physiological, regular sleep schedule and weight regulation. I could not do enough to avoid stressful experiences as some experiences consumed me emotionally. 

Following the recurrence of chest discomfort twice in three days, the next step was to seek cardiac consultation. My consolation was that I did not have chest pain, sweating or unusual tiredness. That opened the prospect of getting preventive help and revising life style even more to be heart friendly. The investigations confirmed that I had blocked coronary arteries and needed surgery. 

The procedure done by two cardiologists, whom I knew well  consulted with each other about the possibility of doing an angioplasty. They indicated to me and Anna that a by-pass surgical approach might be more valuable and feasible. 

A senior resident who knew Anna and me came to visit us at night after the angiogram, with a print out of an information package meant for those awaiting cardiac surgery. He sat beside us in the room and read the important aspects of the information. 

The three messages he was keen to communicate was that surgical procedure was safe and the risk was minimum I had no other co-morbidities. Secondly he indicated that the re-vascularisation of the myocardium would give me the benefit of wellness for several years. The third message was that I ought to resist to be overcome by a feeling of being a heart patient. After the surgery, with the block treated, according to him I was no longer a patient. His presence, conversation, kind approach and interest to be a sound counsellor, was a turning point in getting used to the idea of having surgery and convalescing for three months. 

The next forty eight hours of arranging blood of surgery, and looking into many practical details went smoothly. The two surgeons and the anaesthetist visited me a few times. The chief surgeon said: 'You will have a new heart and would feel well enough to do all that you were used to doing'. I felt comforted by their pleasant manners, cordial conversations and confidence in my full recovery. 

From the time I was given a tablet for coronary vasodilation before shifting to the theatre to the third day when I was extubated, the events were as predicted. I remember being made to sit up and take a few steps on the third day. With the respiratory exercises, chest physiotherapy and progressive ambulation, the recovery proceeded as per the plan. I was moved to the room on the fifth day and a repeat cardiac screening was done on the tenth day. I was back in the guest house on the 14th day. The doctors and nurses kept whispering in my ears that I was on the path to recovery. 

For convenience and regular check ups needed every two weeks, Anna and I stayed in the guest house for three months. 

Now eleven years later after the surgery, I try following the exercise plan, monitor my weight, regulate the blood parameters and take medicines to keep going. 

On this World Heart day, I write this to convey three experiences for many, for whom a heart disease is a disturbing experience. 

First, most of us can redeem our heart from worsening, if we do all that is healthy for the heart. That calls for several changes. I hope we would not negotiate to offer concession to ourselves, but stay faithful to  follow the wellness plan. 

Second, if the heart did not suffer an infarction, the recovery with angioplasty or by-pass surgery is so good that one can hope to live well, if we follow the protocol of practices suggested. 

Third, following recovery, we need to receive the years added, given to us as a gift and treasure it to bring a new outlook to the way we live and work. To live content and become a means of support to others would be a vocation worth pursuing. It is in living by giving to others we keep our heart glad and healed. 

I confess I had to face a prolonged period of stress on account of three unexpected events spread over three years about five years ago. That was a wearisome season in life, where trustful relationships broke down and I felt heavy of heart. 

The long conversation with a senior resident on the day of the angiography returned to me at this time, which anchored me well. His suggestion was, 'in as much as you can let go when confrontation can be stressful, you will find peace and wellness'! It was a time to arrive to be ready to let go ! When matters which seemed important till then got released from a tight hold, I felt the freedom to return to the rhythm of living gratefully! 

The last two years since retiring from regular professional work, gave me the freedom to live each day in a leisurely and responsible way. 

 

I offer the flower above to all those who contributed to my recovery during the time I needed attention for restoring my heart to wellness. I remember each of them gratefully and admirably.

The flowers above are for all those, who need treatment and  procedures to restore their heart to wellness. Let life in all its fullness return to you to live well!

Let these Lilies cheer all those, who are entering the mid thirties of life  and beyond, to do all that you can to protect your heart with heart-friendly life style!

On this World Heart Day, I remember all those professionals involved in watching over the heart status of millions of people in different countries. May you bring evidence based practice for heart care to bring wellness to many people!

 Let us live well and give a chance to our heart to keep us going!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The three 'seniors' on what is missing!

There are three of us, who are waiting for Anna's return from her visit to  the grandchildren, Daphne, Dulcie and myself. 

Daphne has been convalescing after her surgery for her tumours and her progress has impressed us. At an advanced age for her breed, she is considered to have malignancy and new tumours have appeared on her body since the operation. 

She has a regular evening walk with Anna and she looks forward to it. In case Anna gets delayed, she would remind her with her friendly growl meant only for Anna.  In case I offered to walk her, she would look towards the room where Anna is seated. In fact, Daphne has her yard just outside where Anna sits to do her work.  Anna allows her to wander in the garden and she makes her regular visits to all the corners that she is used to. Anna would be on her evening walk at that time. When Daphne finished her round in the garden, she would come to join Anna in her walk and moves towards her kennel when Anna is ready to return. That is closer to her evening meal, which Daphne looks forward to. 

Since Anna has been away, I tried replacing Anna's engagement. Daphne will come for the morning walk with me, but keeps looking at me hesitantly as in the photo above when I call her for the evening walk. She needs persuasion to do her evening exercise walk. She is less sociable now and conveys a message that something is different. When Anna is in the garden, Daphne accompanies her in her chores. 

Dulcie appears even more disturbed. She too has outlived the longevity of her breed. Her routine is to be near Anna through the day and night. She sleeps below our bed, on a carpet woven for her by Anna and goes to the corner to her bed only in  between. From the time Anna gets up, Dulcie follows her. When we have our early morning coffee and reading time, she would be near her feet on the carpet, next to her chair. The photo above is her sitting in the same place, while I am at the table. When we have her meal, she is back next to Anna's chair on the floor at the dining table. Dulcie has her favourite place next to Anna's table where she spends good part of the day writing and editing. 

Dulcie has her walk in the evening with Anna before Daphne has her turn. Dulcie wants to wander in the garden and can sometimes disappear without any sign of her presence. Although she would respond to our calls, it is on her terms. 

Since Anna has been away, Dulcie is not herself. Her brisk walk and desire to chase us while running is of little interest to her.  The photo above shows that on her face. 

Anna has conversation with the fish in the aquarium. I cannot guess how much they miss her!

Anna and I have a rhythm we share during the day since our retirement from regular professional work. There are times of reading in the morning and evening, evening walk and conversation time around our morning coffee time. The day drags longer without these refreshing times. 

It is through such short absences, we cherish the strength and pleasure of the times together,  bring to us. 

Both of us during the day have paid attention for several months to bring out three publications which we hoped would be ready by the year end. One, on Parenting presence is published and the other two, Enabling the child and Manual of Ideas are pending. 

Our life after retirement have also been colourful with some involvement in the formative process of professionals. It is a time to return to our biography and experience the fullness of life we have shared together for forty years. We find life unfolding to a new depth of meaning and purpose. 

With only ten days more for Anna to return, all three of us are in that expectant mood. I think that Daphne and Duclie made efforts to cheer me up. Daphne would come to sit next to me when I read the news paper and Dulcie would come and give me a lick on the feet on a few times in a day. 

The two domestic helpers who support us, have been generous to attend to details which Anna normally supervised. 

Anna's time with the grandchildren has been a significant time to support them when their parents have been away. Anna's presence and 'grandma' times have made it easier for them to continue schooling normally.

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The twilight stillness and in between pauses !

 

I have been wanting to spot pairs of birds before the day break in our garden, to get a glimpse of their behaviour in preparation for day break. 

I found these two Bulbuls in our front garden. It was unlikely to have been the spot of their shelter at night as they look for  the cover of foliage for night shelter. Also being perched at the edge of a branch with a good view of three sides, it was likely that they were still in preparation for the first flight path. 

What occurred to me was the bodily stillness they maintain in this transition time between the night and the morning flight plan. 

They go through the grooming before they fly out to place of their choice. Usually some of these birds who reside near human habitation fly out to places where the terrain is hospitable and free of predators. It is during their morning flight they look out for the prospects of finding feed. 

From the experience of Bulbuls in our garden, I suspect that they are sure of the location of papaya fruit, feeding station in our courtyard, trees with berries and guava tree. The Barbets and Bulbuls have similar flight path in our garden. 

The day break stillness which they practice impress me. Even when a squirrel appears in the vicinity, they sustain their attentive presence to their orientation for the day break. 

Seeing them still, fascinated me. Although I am used to the practice of stillness of body and quietened mind, the posture of these birds in unbroken stillness for twenty minutes enthused me to go deeper in stillness to experience interior silence. 

I suppose some birds practice stillness for number of reasons. During the period of stillness at twilight the birds prepare themselves for the day. This stillness is different from the pauses they take in between flights. During the pauses, they are looking around and are alert to events around them. The period of stillness is longer while the pauses are for shorter times. 

I remember getting introduced to the practice of stillness and pauses!. I find such times nourish the soul and rest the mind! 

Watching these birds brought many memories of the past associated with different experiences during the times of stillness and pauses. 

The photographs are not sharp; but to have been able to take these photographs was an unusual pleasure !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Small birds and thier behaviour!

 

It is not common to find a Sunbird pausing to have its photo taken! 

However, this Sunbird gave me few seconds in between its movements and change of posture today morning. The swiftness of Sunbird is its habit. Some small birds by nature move swiftly and frequently as they are conditioned that way. 

Its colour combination, well groomed and sleek body and habit of finding flowers for nectar in a garden stand out to me as something special about the Sunbirds. 

It is not easy to capture a Sunbird while gathering nectar. I felt pleased to have been able to capture that although the two phots are not sharp enough 

Then the bird moved to the tree little distance away. It kept climbing to the top of the Neem tree.

When it reached the top, it started to look for insects to feed on. I was surprised to see it nibbling on the leaves. 

A Sunbird has its fixed stations for its flight path. As I knew of the regular stations, I was ready to capture the usual and unusual activities of a Sunbird. 

I do not remember noticing a Sunbird looking for insects on the bark or nibbling leaves. 

A keen birder once told me that one should be open to look for new behaviour in birds which are familiar to us. 

I felt good that we have a garden with some flowering plants that they can come to. 

Small birds bring a graceful addition to a garden!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The Family in the digital age!

Anna and I live in a village where only three news papers are available. None of those newspapers are the type we would have normally subscribed as they represent a cluster of thoughts suitable for those who are futuristic generationally and not trans-generational in news and views. Even the editorials carry a leaning towards the emerging future in sight!

No wonder one of those newspapers had the photo above of digital creation of the Alpha generation, in its central page with a good article to educate the commons on what is to emerge. 

I found out that in the year 2010, the Alpha generation came to life, replacing the generation Z. This generation is born in a digital world where new technologies form human mind, behaviour, socialisation and work orientation. This generation will 'live through screens'. 

Mark McCrindle of Australia seems to have coined this term. This generation Alpha, 'will play, learn, and interact in a completely new way, thanks to the new technologies'. The members of generation Alpha, rely on technology to discover the world. The Artificial Intelligence or voice will be the common methods of communication, using gesture-based interfaces to communicate between devices and humans. I have my computer reminding me to use the services Siri. Alexa is already in many homes, ready to offer services at their voice command. 

The mobile devices, virtual assistants, toys and accessories,  designs of vehicles, and digital intelligence for data collections are going through changes to meet with the aspirations of a fully digital generation. The Alpha generation will be hyperconnected, independent to make their own decisions, using video as the source of their learning and interactive model, and technologically conditioned and diverse in their tastes, life style and points of view. 

The Alpha generation would carry the risk of reduced attention span and concentration, diminished orientation towards socialisation, creativity, imagination, and reduced ability to attain happiness. 

Yesterday, about 70 kilometres away from where we live,  three ATM facilities had their cash stolen by looters specialising in using high technology devices to loot. Although they were caught, while escaping with one thief dying in the encounter and two police officials sustaining injury, the message has come home, that we live in a fast changing circumstance where technology would be used in multifarious ways. 

I felt deeply for the generation Alpha, as what I saw in our garden, following a short rain fall would not fascinate the generation Alpha. 

What surprised me was how Jungle Babblers, a Tree pie, a Wood pecker, and a squirrel were seen together in a tree, searching for food and yet comfortable with each other, which would not be the usual situation. 

While  watching this socialisation, the thought of the generation Alpha came back to me. They would live, learn, and work in a digital world. They would socialise less and relate largely for utilitarian purposes. 

More birds came to visit the gathering of birds and squirrel in the tree- a Barbet, Bulbul, and Myna. It was an assembly of birds to celebrate a social occasion. 

My thoughts turned to a searching question. How are we getting ready to encourage social, moral and spiritual orientation to the Alpha generation?  Their natural instincts would be to live driven by a digital life style. 

I have recently tried to glance at the global trend among teenagers following the lock down of two years during the COVID pandemic. There is an increased interest in social activities, groups interactions, joint ventures to promote climate control, family outings, sports and games, probably following the 'screen fatigue' during the COVID season. 

It is now three years since life returned to the regular rhythm following the COVID season. The local presbyters of the churches I have some contacts with, mentioned to me that the regular attendance in the Sunday worship services has not returned to the pre-COVID times. I sometimes wonder if they were more concerned about the drop in the income of the church than the wellness of people! 

During a recent interaction with faculty in a Medical College, what surfaced in the conversation was about the needs of their children and the changes that are worrisome due to a greater digital dependence. However, the way I saw children play,  interact and jointly sang songs of interest to them, made me feel that parenting is at stake rather than the readiness of children to pursue interactive learning. 

The parents in their mid thirties have been through the changes in their life style in a digital world. They live partly in the digital world. Their social skills might have been compromised; or their child nurturing instincts might have been blunted. 

This generation of parents are in transition. Some of them feel uprooted and are yet to find their new grounding. 

The childhood generation Alpha and the parents in transition to find their grounding! A bad combination!

I wish there will be more focus on enabling parents to equip themselves to be parents of the Alpha generation!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo, the first photo from the Times of India on 26.9.2024)

The difference is normal!

 

When I watched an occasional ladies finger vegetable growing downward, I wondered about this variation. 

I looked around in the kitchen garden to see more of this variation. There were plants with both upward and downward growing patterns. 

What is not so common, is also real. 

I have had instances of having had to relate to people with different temperaments and attitudes. Sometimes I used to wonder why some people had wildly different opinions and are insistent on them. 

It was through a crisis in retionshiops with few friends, whom I had known for years, I got a first hand experience of the differences that divide and strain relationships. Sometimes strained relationships do not recover to the earlier profile, after differences became non- negotiable. 

As I have lived with a few instances of that nature, I have had experiences like the above sight, to accept the difference also as normal. The vegetable whether it grows upwards or downward, its value does not change!

The differences in temperament and attitudes are real and some are non negotiable differences. To accept the variation as normal frees us to relate without expectations to conform. 

I noticed in a campus that I recently visited, that the lighting of the campus consisted of vapour lamps, neon lights, fluorescent lights and regular lights. Each lamp was appropriately chosen to meet a specific need in one particular area. The diversity was essential to suit a need.

I am coming to a position when I feel comfortable to be myself and allow others to be themselves behaviourally and relationally. 

The Chinese eat in one way, the Japanese in another way, the British in a different way, the Indians different from all of these... Yet they all eat the food for pleasure and for nutrition. The way they eat is different, which is a non-issue. 

The temperament, attitude and behaviour therefore can also be different in a group, where people come from different backgrounds. But our humanity and humaneness are common. 

The twelve followers of Jesus of Nazareth, often referred to as disciples, had a discussion among themselves as to 'which one of them was the greatest' (Mark9:34)! Jesus responded: ' If anyone wants to be first, he shall be last of all and savant of all' (v35). Taking a child, Jesus set him before the disciples and by taking him in His arms, Jesus affirmed the call to receive each other in a self giving way. Jesus was among as One who served, which He demonstrated on several occasions, the oft remembered event being Jesus washing of the feet of the disciples at the time of the Last supper. 

I am on this schooling journey, to believe and practice that behavioural or temperamental differences do not divide, but make a group colourful! 

To have this cognitive awareness translated into a day today practice is another journey ahead!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)