Most birds need branches of trees for the perch, shelter, nesting, and for food! I spot Bulbuls and other birds in our garden, in their flight stations regularly.
During recent conversations with a few families I felt challenged by the struggles parents face to offer such a support of shelter and provision for their children at home, amidst the demands of living!
I wonder whether the work we are required to do because we are employed, so occupies our attention and interest that parents often engage their children with depleted energy and attention!
It is important for families to dwell on the minimum children need to belong to a home ! A child till pre-teen years know no place of belonging as much as the home! If the home is not endearing, a child feels distant from parents.
The endearing experience springs from a visible expression that what matters for parents is children once they are at home!
The presence of parents at home, when conveys full attentiveness to children, then the traction of children is towards parents.
As I listen to the questions that parents ask about the unsettled behaviour of their children at home, I feel that parents turn home to a physical space for living!
A house is a physical space. It becomes a home when the emotional milieu of the home is trustful and intimate communication!
For that to happen, what matters to children can only be the activity of involvement, till children get into bed at night.
One family practices a good rhythm. Four evenings for children and three evenings for parents! During the four evenings in a week, what matters to children alone is pursued at home. This has made huge difference as those four evenings become delightful evenings for the children and parents.
The parents return home from work thinking exclusively about children on those four days. The stress on account of children and parents finding to do what interest them on those evenings, are no more active. Children receive protected time from their parents. The other three evenings, which are for parents to attend to some household needs get attended to well, as children participate and support without interrupting!
The home is the only place that can build within children a sense of gladness, belonging and trust in their formative years till teenage. The parenting call is to make homes a place where children and their needs and formation are attended to consciously and consistently!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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