I watched a chick of Magpie robin engaged in few bird calls. Its parents arrived at the scene. One of the adult birds flew away to return with a worm in its bills to feed the chick!
I wish I had better photographs of this special occasion. It was raining and difficult to get sharper pictures. I could not get the feeding scene as the battery of the camera had to be changed. By then the birds had flown away!
What was special about the occasion was the response of the parent birds to the bird calls of the chick, to know that the chick was calling for a feed!
What a state of awareness and promptness in parenting response!
That is what becomes a second nature to parents- to know the need of the child through his or her behaviour!
Unless parents live pre-occupied, most parents feel for their child and are ever ready to respond!
The first three years of a child is a time when parents are to be ultra vigilant to know the child through his or her behaviour. Often a cry is one form of expression of needs. The tone of the cry is what makes the needs known! The cry of discomfort is different from the cry of hunger or when nappy is wet or when sleepy! A mother knows it from her experience.
The unspoken needs of a child below three years need to be picked up by consciously engaging a child.
A cry or any unusual behaviour is an expression of a need!
I feel disturbed when parents or professionals talk about the 'tantrum' of a pre-school child. The tendency to refer to a repetitive behaviour as tantrum is disregardful of the disturbed emotional state of a toddler or a pre-school child. A child at this level of cognitive and social development is yet to be competent to express verbally, 'I am sad or angry or not feeling well'. That limitation makes a child use a form of expression that is possible through which the child expresses his or her need, discomfort or displeasure.
A child below three years is still an unfamiliar person for their parents. They are to be observant and be open to know the mood and thoughts of a child.
What we look forward to is a communicative child. The undesirable behaviour we notice in a toddler is still a communication process. It is by being patient, parents can help a child to move towards expressing needs or disappointments in a desirable or socially comfortable manner.
Knowing a toddler or a preschool child is a journey! Parenting itself is a journey to know oneself and the child.
An adult who becomes a parent carries his or her childhood memories and can transfer them through his or her behaviour to their child. Parenting involves the personal journey of starting a fresh in a relational way with a child without being unduly conditioned by one's own childhood memories. That is when the toddler becomes a delight to watch and learn from, to connect with him or her at his or her level of emotional readiness!
The two Magpie robins knew from the bird call of their chick, that it was for a feed. One of them arrived with a feed!
A remarkable example of responsible parenting practice!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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