Fifty years of a voyage!

The five rain lily flowers above were the first generation of flowers  in our garden, since Anna planted some bulbs in this flower pot a few months ago. With the copious rain of the last week, these lilies are in full bloom now. The flowers look radiant and colourful. 

It was while looking at the photo of these flowers I noticed that there  were five of them in the pot. 

It symbolised to me the fifty years of our married life, which Anna and I  take time to recollect often during this year. 

I noticed that there were some visitors yesterday to the blog I posted in connection with forty six years of our married life in February 2021, captioned, 'Looking back and looking forward'. 

The five lily flowers and visitors to the previous blog post,  brought an urge to share the thoughts that flashed through my mind as I look back at the fifty years. 

Since writing on the forty six years of voyage in the ocean of married life, both Anna and I retired formally from our professional engagements. 

We have had lot more of time together and shared experiences, which have enriched us even more during the last four Years.

The photo above of an Ixora flower, next to the pot of the rain lilies, brought a symbol of marriage as 'roundedness' in relationship as the voyage in marriage proceeds to the fifth decade. 

In a conversation with a group of professionals last week, I happened to describe marriage relationship in five seasons spread over fifty years, starting from being co-travellers, Conciliators, Companions, Collaborators to  becoming Co-dependents. 

I feel grateful that while we are in the fifth decade of our voyage in marriage, these seasons have been real, experiential and formative. 

In that sense the Ixora flower above represents the intimacy and cohesion that would be ordinarily be real, as a couple grow in marital relationship. The multiple solitary flowers which form the bunch of flowers is representative of the 'two becoming one', finding deeper meaning in shared living.

What really happens progressively in marriage is the fullness in life, brought into being by the two becoming one emotionally and volitionally in thought and action. The co-dependent state is an illustration of the emergence of mutuality and intimacy which create an ambience of 'each for the other'!  

 

The plant of a Cape Jasmine is in the corner of our garden, along with the plants of Ixora and rain lilies. This plant had just one flower yesterday in its young bush. But its fragrance in the air, was what turned me in that direction. The flower was just opening and yet with an aroma which filled the air.

That became another thought to ponder upon later in the day. A flower spreads its aroma all around. It opens to share its nectar to Beas and Butterflies. The voyage in marriage is for bringing goodwill and support to the members of the family and others. 

A married life becomes a home for children and their families. It becomes an offering of friendship to neighbours.  A mail from a friend whom we knew for thirty five years arrived yesterday, sharing life experiences that he is going through. He trusted us enough to share the joys and delights of life along with the concerns he carries as he and his wife enter their  sixties.

Anna and I feel blessed by some friends who have shared their lives with us. 

The voyage in married life is for becoming a family known for its warm and undergirding  relationship. It becomes the nurturing ground to foster the formation of children, their families and friends who come into the orbit. We recall the encouragements we received from foster family of student friends we had at Vellore, Pondicherry and Kolenchery.

  

Anna and I have many fond memories of our life together. As I write this, I also remember that two in our family would cross another birthday in their lives in the month of June. 

What was touching about the above bunch of Jersey lilies in our garden, is how one lily of two flowers was joined by flowers from two lilies on both sides, to make it symbolically five to affirm the blessedness of togetherness. The two flowers are made abundant by the adjoining flowers. That is what Anna and I feel about our lives, who received much from others to add fullness to our lives. 

Some families held us close to them; some touched our lives at critical times and some others stood by us as we explored an unchartered path in our professional work. We felt accompanied and surrounded by these experiences. 

While being in the fifth decade of of marriage, the flowers above remind us that we have been accompanied by some who have helped in our formation and becoming who we are now. we remember them gratefully.

We feel indebted to our parents who gave us the space to grow and our children who tutored us in parenting readiness. Both of them with their spouses and their children continue to give us support as we explore this enlarging and deepening experience in marriage in the fifth decade of our life together. 

 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)