The plurality in presence!

Three similar looking trees of Rambutan  in our garden, giving three different types of fruits !

With all the six trees of Rambutan giving us fruit this year, this variation in the appearance of fruits and flavour fascinate us. Each tree with its distinct type of fruit in colour, size and flavour gives an impression of what is beyond the obvious. 

During the nine months when the trees are only a thick foliage, they look similar in every way. At the time of fruiting they bring out their true nature!

Each tree brings out its fruit in its season!

I came across a conversation that is a serious enquiry in an institution about how to foster community life in the work place and residential settings!

The dissimilarities between people seem to cause a concern as to whether it would be possible to be cohesive and integrated!

The dissimilarities can only add to the richness to the social flavour in a community!

What is important is to foster the vision of 'fruit bearing', which is the self giving character of each tree ! 

If people turn inward and be carried away by an attitude of self promotion, then the community formation is at stake!

When there is giving and receiving, each person feels his or her place and feels connected widely!

It is not by prescribing how every person ought to be, we foster relational living, but by fostering a consciousness of the neighbour who too ought to benefit from one's being and presence!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Meditation of my heart- 29

 

These flowers in our garden in the frontage of our cottage convey exuberance even when the rain fall caused other flowers look battered by rain. One example of a weary look is the flowers of the Buttercup plants below!

It suggests that flowers have different levels of endurance in inclement weather!

With the declared war between Israel and Iran taking another level of confrontation with each country proclaiming to destroy the other, one is in a dilemma about what is in the heart of man ! It is from the heart, the mind receives the thoughts to act! 

As I stay perplexed over the choices the leaders of nations make, I turned to read a passage from the book of Proverbs in the Old Testament of the Bible. 

I found three references about human heart in the 14 th and 15 th chapters of the book of Proverbs. 

The first is about the 'wisdom of the prudent in understanding his way' (14; 8). It is a reference to the discerning heart. The prayer of Solomon was for a discerning heart which we read in I kings 3: 7-9. He asked for an understanding heart to govern people of Israel, specifically between good and evil. The King Solon sought this from God at the beginning of his reign. 

The second reference is about a 'tranquil heart', which is life to the body (14:30). Such a state of inner composure, freed from the passion of prominence or dominance or countenance of success was what Solomon seemed to meditate upon. Jesus of Nazareth suggested that it is from the heart, 'come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders..' (Matthew 15:19). I felt moved when I read how St Paul made a confession about his inward state of orientation to himself: 'For through the grace given to me, I say to every man, among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think, but to think so as to have sound judgement as God has allotted to each a measure faith' (Romans 12:3). The depth of human heart is tranquility just as the water beneath the turbulent sea is still ! 

The third reference to heart was ' A joyful heart that makes a cheerful face, but when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken..' (Proverbs 15:13). A state of contentment is needed to live joyfully! The state of covetousness takes away the prospects of contentment. In a parable Jesus of Nazareth referred to about a  rich man, who had a plentiful harvest and decided to build new barn to store his grain, telling himself: 'Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years to come, take your ease, eat and drink and be merry. But God said to him, You fool, this very night your soul is required of you and now who will own what you have prepared' (Luke 12: 19-20). The acquisitive nature and obsession for possession is rampant in political conversations between countries. One of the aspirations that the president of the USA talked about when he ascended to its presidency was to acquire Canada as a state of the USA and annexe Greenland. It is the same instinct that Israel showed in annexing Gaza from the Palestinians. It is not in the abundance of riches one possesses the inner state of joyfulness is found but in growing to be content !

The flowers above even when battered in rain offered their colour, fragrance and nectar! That is the heart language of the flowers!

I wish the human heart language will be prudence, tranquility and joyfulness! 

I remember witnessing such an attitude of self giving, with a heart of joyfulness when Dr Bob Carman of CMC Vellore moved out of his accommodation in the college campus to live in Otteri for a season to spare the A grade house in the college campus at Bagayam, to someone who needed it more than him. While talking about it, he mentioned hesitantly, ' That was the least I could do when there was a long waiting list of faculty for accommodation in the college campus' ! 

To live life from the heart level is a calling !

A heart freed from personal ambition but moved with an inclusive ambition of wellness for all is what becomes a 'leaven that shall leaven the dough'!

I have my own struggles within to let go to be free of personal ambition!

When it happens,  one shall find joyful heart and soulful life!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Being fraternal is normality!

A Cormorant, two Bulbuls and a Common iora with a Bulbul- they were the early morning visitors in our garden today!

A cormorant is often found alone; Bulbuls feed at the feeding table in pairs or along with others in our garden and the Common arora bird is often found  as a pair.

Today a Common iora was with  a Bulbul. One is a small bird and the other is a medium sized bird. They looked comfortable with each other, perched beside each other. 

Each bird has its own bird behaviour. 

What surprised me was the comfort level of a small bird, Common iora with a medium sized bird, Bulbul!

Theirs was a comfort level without fear or threat !

Israel as a nation is a small country and is surrounded by neighbouring countries who have some reservation about Israel because of the disproportionate power it wields despite its small size. Its current conflict with Palestine and Iran springs from fear and threat. When Israel was formed as a nation in the mid sixtes, it was an occasion for the jewish community scattered in different parts of the world to look forward to returning from exile to their own country. Since then Israel had at least three conflicts with neighbouring counties and exists with high threat level from around. 

The common iora bird is small and looked perched comfortably next to a a bigger Bulbul!

Enmity, fear or threat do not contribute to peace or wellness. 

But acceptance, tolerance and a level of mutuality help to live respectful of each other. 

It looks like that every now and then some nations are restless till they have a conflict with a neighbouring nation or a confrontation. India and Pakistan had three wars in the last 75 years. 

A Common iora bird and a Bulbul bird are dissimilar in size, habitat and avian status. That did not come in the way of being together in a tree next to each other !

It is not enough to be a Cormorant; it is not even enough to be two Bulbuls; it is necessary to be like a common iora and a Bulbul, who although dissimilar are comfortable with each other !

The three large nations of the world, USA, China and Russia have a dominating temper and attitude. Some smaller countries like Israel, or Iran, stretch themselves to be confrontational and controlling !

I do not find it befitting, when the world is a comity of nations with sovereign rights and  under obligation to be fraternal, to resort to war under any circumstances!

What surprises me even more, is the silence of the Unites Nations Organisation at a volatile time like this, when nuclear threat is at our door step! I find the attitude of the USA least helpful or conciliatory!

The Common iora and a Bulbul show us how we can be rational and fraternal !

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Becoming a neighbour!

A Bulbul was in our courtyard perched on a cable, during the short spell when it was not raining yesterday. 

A Magpie robin came to be perched beside the Bulbul. It was wet and soaked and was struggling to fly. 

I noticed,  how the Bulbul turned to give attention to the Magpie robin with body gestures that expressed a fraternal attitude of concern!

The Bulbul was 'beholding' the Magpie robin during the time of the body grooming to become flight ready !

That was a demonstration of how birds behave in a neighbourly manner towards each other! 

A Magpie robin needed a companion and that was what a Bulbul offered to become!

Become a neighbour to others!

That was the message the Bulbul left with me!

I hesitated to share these photos as the Bulbul was out of focus! But the message was significant enough to reflect on!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Life, Living, Learning - 4

On a rainy day, it was an experience to watch avian behaviour, which indicated how sharing a meal together created an ambience of intimacy between tow Bulbuls. 

Both of the birds arrived one after another and occupied two different feeding bowls in the feeding table in our garden. 

The photos above till we spot them close to each other happened in about five minutes ! 

There were pauses between their feeding turns, during which they seemed to be in conversation and silent gestures towards each other as well as connecting with what was around. 

The three thoughts that crossed mind while watching this special scened of courtship behaviour between tow birds. 

First, they were aware of each other. One drawing factor was the feeding time. They turned that time for communication. 

Second, they waited for each other rather than only feed ! There was a mindfulness that was a deeper level to express interest towards each other. 

Third, they perched next to each other to share that experience of togetherness. Tis happened just before they flew away in the same direction. 

There were occasions to listen to few families yesterday. What was common was the hurry that occupied the ambience of their homes. They seem to convey that sense of hurry to children at home. 

We need space and time to grow in awareness towards each other in our homes. The pressure of multiple things to do can easily create a sense of hurry and take away the cheerfulness and delight that out to be the conversational and communicative language between parents and children. 

The true heart of parenting is parenting waiting on their children! A waiter in a restaurant is one who serves guests to enjoy their meal. 

Children at home look for enjoyable and relational times. The parents create such times! 

Parents are formative persons in the lives of children! The parents form the conduct, character, attitude and values of children. This involves a shift from getting them to do many things as chores to drawing near them affectionately and patiently to help children feel loved, valued and affirmed!

The adulthood is a time the parenting roles become central to the calling of parents. There is none who can substitute the parenting roles and functions. It is not what we bequeath to children materially for their future that defines their future as individuals! But what we are to them amidst the daily encounters! I wonder that some parents are driven by their expectations of performances and achievements that they cease to be children but turned into being performers!

It is when parents are intimate to each other, the ambience between them becomes hospitable for children to feel loved and drawn towards the parents! 

A couple becomes functionally parents, when the space between them is occupied by children for their formation! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A wet bird!

 

I watched the grooming process of a Magpie robin in our garden, which was fully drenched and probably immobilised due to difficulty to fly with soaked wings. 

With the mild sunshine on their body and with flapping of wings, in about fifteen minutes, the robin was partly flight ready. 

Often birds secure a shelter before the rain fall to protect the wings and feathers from getting wet. Most birds oil their feathers that the rain drops get deflected from their body. 

I have occasionally seen birds glide from a height with the wet wings and not being able to fly with outstretched wings. The balancing of the body during the gliding movement looked difficult, especially when the wind is no in their favour! 

It was an occasion to become little more familiar with the resilient and enduring experience of a bird in bad weather!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Knowing the child- 7

Most birds need branches of trees for the perch, shelter, nesting, and for food! I spot Bulbuls and other birds in our garden,  in their flight stations regularly. 

During recent conversations with a few families I felt challenged by the struggles parents face to offer such a support of shelter and provision for their children at home,  amidst the demands of living! 

I wonder whether the work we are required to do because we are employed, so occupies our attention and interest that parents often engage their children with depleted energy and attention! 

It is important for families to dwell on the minimum children need to belong to a home ! A child till pre-teen years know no place of belonging as much as the home!  If the home is not endearing, a child feels distant from parents. 

The endearing experience springs from a visible expression that what matters for parents is children once they are at home!

The presence of parents at home, when conveys full attentiveness to children, then the traction of children is towards parents. 

As I listen to the questions that parents ask about the unsettled behaviour of their children at home, I feel that parents turn home to a physical space for living! 

A house is a physical space. It becomes a home when the emotional milieu of the home is trustful and intimate communication! 

For that to happen, what matters to children can only be the activity of involvement,  till children get into bed at night. 

One family practices a good rhythm. Four evenings for children and three evenings for parents!  During the four evenings in a week, what matters to children alone is pursued at home. This has made huge difference as those four evenings become delightful evenings for the children and parents. 

The parents return home from work thinking exclusively about children on those four days. The stress on account of children and parents finding to do what interest them on those evenings, are no more active. Children receive protected time from their parents. The other three evenings, which are for parents to attend to some household needs get attended to well, as children participate and support without interrupting!

The home is the only place that can build within children a sense of gladness, belonging and trust in their formative years till teenage. The parenting call is to make homes a place where children and their needs and formation are attended to consciously and consistently!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Meditation of my heart -28

The three flowers above, Spider Lily, pink Orchid and red Mussaenda are the ones which do not show too much of stress during a week long rain fall. Other flowers have a droopy look ! The wind and rain do not give the suitable environment for some plants and flowers. 

I read brief notes about each of these flowers and noticed one phenomenon that is common to all the three. Each of these flowers has 'something special' in them that protects them from being soaked in water in the rain. The rain drops get deflected and do not stay in their surface.

In the book of Psalms,  in the Old Testament of the Bible, I found three verses which highlight a similar thought: 'How blessed is the man whose strength is in Thee, in whose heart are highways to Zion. Passing through the valley of Baca, they make it a spring The early rain also covers it with blessings.' (Psalm 84:5-7). 

The 'given strength' versus 'acquired strength' !

During the ongoing war between Iran and Israel, what is in display is the acquired military strength. The obsession to prove that acquired strength that the some nations now take pride in their nuclear arsenals! The acquired strength was often attained by power, control and domination. Such a strength has a natural instinct to be exercised to harm and destroy! Ever since the recent change of presidency in the United States of America, the tone of language while engaging nations is threatening of war and annihilation. The acquired strength conveys fear and threat because it was conceived and achieved due to fear and threat! Some nations of the world are seekers of more and more military strength because of fear ! Fear begets fear! 

As against is the inherent, given strength that the three plants and flowers are endowed with. 

The writer of the Pslam 84 meditated on this given strength. That strength is in God, who turns the desert into a spring! I came across a family who is fighting advanced cancer in their loved one and is currently in palliative chemotherapy. I came across occasions of how this family radiates this given strength. Every contact with that family reminds me of their 'desert experience', but what they convey is hope and comfort in God who accompanies them in this journey! The strength in their weakness has a healing outcome! They have an oasis of comfort within, which disseminates peace to those who stay in touch with them. They in their vulnerability and weakness experience  strength to carry on and communicate that to others in the conversation! 

This given strength, the gift of intimacy with God,  offers  a restorative function in daily living!

As I watched the three flowers above shining forth amidst the battering of incessant rain is a testimony to this given strength. The strength within overcome the situation around. 

The verse in Isaiah 40:31, ' Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary', asserts the reality of this given strength. 

I feel encouraged by such a consciousness that our strength is in God !

The given strength is good enough to feel well in our daily journey!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A bird's life skills!

The way a Parakeet clips the Rambutan fruit with its bills and then transfers it to be held by one feet to feed on, was a sight worth watching! 

A bird learns life skills!

How effectively the birds exercise their skills !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Life, Living, Learning - 3

 

These Babblers appeared at the feeding table in between the rain fall yesterday. 

First to appear was a pair. Then, with their bird calls another pair came and finally a fifth one!

The fraternal feeling among them was spontaneous and regardful of each other, giving chance to each other to feed from the bowl. 

The avian relational behaviour was refreshing to watch.

Yesterday, we had a visit from a newly married couple from our neighbourhood. Although we know them only for a short while, their visit refreshed us. They came with some food to share with us. 

It was from their conversation we got to know a little more about the rural community where they have moved to stay after their marriage. They live in a neighbourhood where people keep a watch over others. The neighbours share between themselves the produce of their farm. The price of coconuts has gone high. Yet,  those who have coconuts give to their neighbours coconut, at the earlier price. They get milk at a lesser price than what exists in the market form their neighbour.

I thought that they live in the oasis of warm and friendly neighbourhood. It is a counter culture. 

The recent confrontation between Iran and Israel is intensifying! Instinct to destroy each other is what seems to drive them. Both countries have a strong religious heritage, tradition and practice of faith. The view towards each other is hostility and envy inspire of their religiosity!

The Babblers give a message of fraternity. Our visitors live mindful of others. 

A local community has a food bank in one house, where people can get  one meal a day. It provides food for senior citizens in the community who live alone!

Mother Teresa talked about 'merciful living gracefully' and  demonstrated it in her life time. She lived with minimum creature comfort and focussed her attention on those who needed a helping hand to survive the ordeals in their lives. 

A senior citizen invites school going children to his home twice a week and he reads to them stories and biographical narratives of people who lived thinking of others in need. One boy who has been listening to such stories, decided to give his old bicycle to another child when he no more needed it! 

There is another way of living where we make our lives to be means of support and care for others!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A Parakeet the overcomer!

The above photos tell the story of an evening scene in our garden on a rainy day !

Although the pictures above are photographically of poor quality, I felt an urge to show some of them to illustrate the heightened level of body co-ordination of a Parakeet at a height on a slender branch, which was swaying in the wind !

Right after fetching a ripe Rambutan the parakeet used one leg to support itself and used the other leg to hold the rambutan. The  peeling of the shell and pecking on the pulp were well co-ordinated by balancing on a moving branch. It was a sight to behold !

At one stage after consuming most of the fruit it dropped the shell and turned to fetch another one! 

I felt I was watching a gymnastic performance. 

I attempted videoing, but with the wind and the rain, it was even more blurred than the photos. 

A sense of celebration dawned on me that a Parakeet is so skilled that it overcomes challenges confidently and easily! There was no sign of giving up at any stage during the thirty five minutes I noticed two feeding cycles. 

A a parakeet is an overcomer!

Persevering is its normal habit!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

 

Meditation of my heart- 27

 One stem of the spider lily is unlike the other two, which look erect !

The one drooping is less able to stay erect! It has some limitations. 

I came across a man, devoid of ability to see in the narrative of the gospel of Luke in the New Testament of the Bible in the chapter 18 from verses 35 to 43. 

He was a 'blind man, sitting by the way side and begging'. (v 35). Jesus of Nazareth was passing by along with His followers. 

What engaged me when I read that passage was the place where this visually impaired person was sitting to beg- wayside !

The edge of a street  was the safe place for him to be seated to beg for alms. The edge of a road is where he would come across the pedestrians to beg from! 

Hearing that Jesus of Nazareth was passing by, he cried out, 'Son of David, have mercy on me'(v38). Those who were leading the way, 'were sternly telling him to be quiet' (v39).

The pedestrians stopped this man from crying out for help from Jesus of Nazareth. 

Those who were leading the way blocked a visually impaired man from reaching out to Jesus. They walked without seeing the blind man or hearing him with their heart. That raises a question: were they in a religious procession or following Jesus ! They did not reach out to this man with compassion as Jesus would do normally. The purpose of following Jesus is to resonate the compassion and love of Jesus. 

There was a blind man at the road side sitting and there were 'blind men' walking with Jesus. The physical blindness of one man and the interior blindness of many! The physically blind person was aware of his state, but those walking with Jesus were not aware of their interior blindness. 

What a paradox! Jesus of Nazareth was known to heal those who were ill and sick! Those knowing that, denied the visually impaired person from begging help from Jesus. 

The consolation is that there were some following Jesus in that group, who came to the begging man, and said, 'Take courage arise, He(Jesus) is calling for you' (Mark 11: 49). This narrative in the Mark's gospel of the same incident gives us the whole picture of that healing story. 

There are followers of Jesus who deflect others from receiving favour from God and  other followers who are enablers to lead people to find hope in God. 

They who took the begging man to Jesus might have felt encouraged to see the man returning with sight after meeting with Jesus. He no more had to sit in the way side to beg. He was restored to humanhood and 'followed Jesus on the road' (Mark 10:52) !

This is transformation!  A man who was earlier seated on the way side joined to walk with Jesus  along with others, hopefully as an enabler to lead others to find favour from God! The 'seeing' experience moved him from a lonely existence in the wayside to join the main stream of the followers of Jesus. Now that he regained sight he could bring light to others in the group who suffered from interior blindness. He had a new purpose now- from begging to following and enlightening!

Even those who are marginalised shall find favour with God because of the enables who reach out to such people!

I remember how Dr Mrs Rachel Chacko was such an enabler to Anna and me when we lived in Chennai from 1983 to 1997. We were involved in exploring ways to support children with developmental needs and their families. We felt lonely and being in the way side. Dr Chacko visited us often and carried us by her enabling accompaniment. In the initial years what she did by making us feel valued and befriended sustained us to continue. That encouragement prompted us to persevere. 

Some came to visit the visually impaired person on the wayside with the good news that Jesus was calling!

Dr Chacko was such a good news bearer of God's grace in our lives at that difficult season! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)