Breaks and Holidays

Reflections - 3

Breaks and Holidays

I got in touch with a friend yesterday to catch up with each other's family news. He told me that he has taken a 'break' from his office for a week. I was encouraged by his desire to find time for  himself.

What is a 'break'?. It is a time, we set apart, away from the usual rhythm of work and responsibilities, to attend to our personal life. Our personal lives are lived publicly before our family and colleagues.There are events, responsibilities, interactions, decisions, activities, etc. which constitute the schedule of each day. Often, there is a pressure and pace that the circumstances place upon us. Most of us can cope with them well. However, the demands can overtake the pace that we are comfortable with, which pushes us to a 'busy' pace. When this gets even more demanding, it makes us stressful. That is when, most of us want to do something to 'relax'.

Every activity  takes away some energy and attention from us; we do not often feel the depletion as we are conditioned to be resilient. One lady told me that her husband, by the middle of the week, gets intolerant towards the children. He is more angry prone and abrupt in communication. Somehow he is his usual self after the week end break, only to slip back into it by the middle of the week. This is a good illustration of how most of us recover from the tiredness, monotony, demands and struggles we go through, although it is often cyclical.

A break is an occasion, when we free ourselves from  most of the usual events that consume our time and turn inward to be in touch with ourselves, our emotions, expectations, disappointments, stress,etc. Most of us would need some guidance to begin this practice in our lives. It is a good practice to have at least a couple of hours in a week, half a day in a month and one day every three months to practice detachment from our 'routine' to turn inward, where even our phones will be switched off.

 We need to identify a quiet and distraction free environment for this. It is good to do this alone. Those who are married can attempt to do it as a couple.The four components of such a 'silent' time is: listening to our thoughts and feeling and writing them down; practicing some form of quietening of the mind; reading something that can bring an inspiration  for a short while and finally making some notes of concerns, anxieties, corrective steps and changes that one is comfortable to make to stay centered. When one is able to take longer than two hours, it is good to allow an extended sleep time before starting on the above four steps. This is a personal retreat, to recollect ourselves and revise the rhythm of our life.Often this is the starting point for further steps towards, de-stressing, renewing relationships, offering and receiving forgiveness and setting boundaries for daily living.

The above is different from a holiday, although you can include the above process in a holiday period. The holidays are generally intended and planned for recreation, exploration, leisure and fun. Often holidays are with the family or with others. We go to a place of activity for holidays. There is lot of physical movements during a holiday. Although our minds are away from 'work' during a holiday, it is not easy to condition our mind to quietude for inner recollection. All of us need regular holidays as holidays bring a refreshing touch to our lives.However, a 'break' creates inner resource for well being.

M.C.Mathew