One month of writing

I complete one month after starting this blog. I am a hesitant writer with limited language skills. I am glad that Anna encouraged me to begin. This is is my first experience of any active engagement with the internet. 

I write usually  when I am moved by thoughts or sights. I am leaning to write briefly. There is an inner journey of discovery as I write. I feel something within me is coming alive as I ponder over issues and happenings.  

I write primarily for myself to summarize my thoughts. If, what I write can make some sense  to others, it is a bonus.

What it does to me is to identify some themes for further reading and study. There is so much to learn from one's own life experiences. I hope that this habit of writing will help Anna and myself to journey back into our lives to discover the nuggets of truths which lie buried in the story of our lives. We shall do this to tell you more about our way marks on this journey of life.

M.C.Mathew (text &photo)

Single child and siblings

Anna and I watched this rescue operation by an older sister restraining  her brother from slipping into water. The parents were engaged in talking to their friends, when this happened. They were relieved to have avoided a disaster and profusely complimented their daughter for her presence of mind.

When I started training in child health for my profession in the mid seventies, there was lot of discussion about the older sisters substituting as mothers, to care for younger siblings, while the mother went to work outside the home to get an extra income. This meant that older children, especially girl children could not go to school and had to accept domestic responsibilities early in life.

Later, using this role model of older children caring for younger children, Professor David Morely, Institute of Child Health, London, introduced CHILD-To-child programme in the African continent, to promote better childhood nutritional, educational and developmental outcome, by training older children, to be better mother substitutes.

There are many social and economic advantages in having more than one  child in a family.

But what are the emotional advantages of having siblings in a home?

Firstly, childhood is a period of interactive learning and communication, for which siblings contribute immensely. Secondly, early in life, children learn to play, relate, adjust, care, and fight with siblings, to discover their identity and space. The ambience of siblings is the ideal setting for these experiences to unfold. Thirdly, all children require companionship and intimacy at all seasons in life extending up to adolescent and even beyond. It is through the experience of companionship, young children learn to trust, share and give in. They are formative influences in early childhood. Fourthly, there is an interdependence, children learn as siblings. There is respect and regard, give and take, and fight an make up, which children learn from siblings which will stay in good stead through life. Fifthly, parenting is easier, as siblings learn to care for each other, freeing parents to focus on investing their time for their children's diverse interests, as the basic needs of love, belonging, identity, etc. are taken care of  by the siblings.

To all parents, who are healthy enough to have children, let me encourage you to have more than one biological child. The school of siblings, is the ideal setting for holistic childhood formation.

I grew up as a single child and have been a student of  family dynamics, where there are siblings.

A walk into human stories

An elderly woman scavenging the streets for plastic  

I was invited yesterday to a presentation of photographs that a nature club gathered during an evening walk. The pictures brought the fullness in nature to a visible reality. I was encouraged with the enthusiasm of the participants and facilitators. 

A nature walk can engage you deeply. Let me share few pictures from a walk.  

Palmyra tree with pots hanging to gather toddy

Three generations of cashew nuts 

A cow and calf feeding

Wild fig tree with its fruits.

 At the end of the walk, there were enough sights to ponder upon: A widow, who makes her livelihood from rag picking; about 3000 liters of toddy consumed by the regulars in the toddy parlor close to where we live; the way the cashew nuts mature differently from the flowers blooming at the same time; the strange sight of the cow and calf in their natural habitat; wild fig tree with fruits, which would have been imported and planted by an enthusiast...

A walk is for leisure and exercise. We can add color to it, if we stay tuned to what we see and hear. Make the walk observational

M.C.Mathew(text and photos)

Adolescent exuberance and aloneness

In my work, I come across adolescent children who want to talk  about their personal lives and private experiences. I come across two behaviors which are common to adolescent children. 

One is exuberance. They seem to carry a sense of excitement about their discoveries of friendships, partying, extracurricular activities of music, dramatics and sports, social networking, community service, etc. They indulge in these activities with passion and enthusiasm. They are being sustained by activities and the pleasure they find from them. They are bored, if the activity profile or frequency were to decline. They need a 'high' experience to feel well. That is when they try out chemical stimuli intermittently or regularly. The down side of such a dependence on a frenzy of activities is, that there is a decremental pleasure from the usual activities and they seek for adventures and wild explorations. They have their favorite film stars, sports icons, media stars, rock stars, etc. whose fancies may drive them to experiment with similar ideas. They go through this period, desperately holding on to pleasures that can sustain them  and by seeking for more of it through risky behavior.    

A 18 year old boy, stole a motor bike and sold it to have a holiday in Andamans, with two of his friends. On arrival back, he was arrested and put into jail. The parents who were from the upper strata of society felt most embarrassed. The boy confessed that it was not for money he diid it , but for the thrill of doing something noteworthy to receive commendation from his friends.  

The other behavior is aloneness. Many adolescents children will go through this period when they withdraw from friends and family members, sometimes even from siblings. They communicate less and avoid participating in activities that they were used to, such as picnics, birthday parties or family gatherings. They find excuses in order to keep to themselves. They may suffer from self-pity, anger, reaction towards teachers or family members for prying on them. They may find others less dependable or trustworthy. This aloneness can slip into loneliness, in which case, it can be a prelude to acute depression. Many go through this period by finding new occupations like, watching movies, listening to movies,  reading books, caricaturing, etc. If this phase is short lived, it can be a means for personal recovery from any trauma of childhood. If it were to prolong, it can create a hostile environment,  which will be too much for the child to cope with.

A family told me how desperate their daughter was to have a puppy when she turned 16. She spent all her time with this puppy while at home. Parents were disturbed by her non-communicating mood. After six months, the parents mentioned to me that their daughter was returning to be herself and the dog seems to have helped her to recover from her grey moods.    

The exuberance and aloneness of adolescence are two extremes, both of which are too risky to be a regular pattern for adolescents children. Adolescents will swing between these two and find their balance and measure of stability often. Some go under this and land themselves in difficulties at work, studies, relationships, etc. 

Parents can contribute to help children in three ways. First is, by listening without questioning or probing. It is necessary to withhold even judgmental comments or opinions till, there is a measure of nearness and confidence, when a child is ready to ask for help or appear to be open to a counsel. We can restore a child to his or her true self by supportive listening.

Second is, by creating opportunities for the adolescent child to feel at home in the family although there are intense disagreements on account of the way the chid dresses, spends money and time or the friends he or she keeps. Our son or daughter does not cease to be so, even when conflicts strain relationships. Parents have to show their resilience and acceptance unconditionally.This is call of parenting.  

Third is, by introducing the child to friends they fee,l can be a companion to them during this turbulent period. Often many children need help but may not want to seek it from parents, with whom they had many disagreements. If these senior friends are non imposing, patient, and listening, most adolescent children will find this support therapeutic and use thisS an anchor for their recovery.

Let me sugget to the adolescent children- guard this season in your life with wise counsels careful planning. It is one season in your life, which can help you to outshine and add resources for life ahead.   

Argument within marriage relationship

I listened to a couple today,  married for seven years, talk about several arguments they have over different issues. Listening to them gave me some isights about different contexts in which these arguments take place between spouses.

1. Accusation. An argument can start off when one partner blames the other person about something, which can escalate in to an angry exchange. Often, the the atmosphere is surcharged with blaming and countering, giving little opportunity for reason to diffuse the tension. The safest way to diffuse the situation is, by one of the partners  becoming deliberately quiet and allow the situation to settle down for the time being. There will be another occasion to revisit to clarify, correct or apologize.

2. Domination. Many couples can attempt to control or dominate each other. This can happen in different ways. When it is by argument, it is by putting down the other to prove a point and to establish authority. This is a 'power play' which can recur and estrange relationship of intimacy. The way forward is to view the relationship as complementary and interdependent, so that each partner can be comfortably placed in the relationship, with each honoring and esteeming the other. It is wise to pull out of an argumentative mood on such occasions. One person has to give in, but if it is the same person, who is always giving in,  it needs attention. There is no possibility of mutuality, when there is a dominating drive in either of the partners. 

3. Confusion. In a marriage relationship, the partners can go through rough times due to several pressures upon them. Each person can stay pre-occupied with work, chores at home, children's need, etc. that there is some distance emerging between the partners, raising doubt about each other's commitment or availability. These are tentative and fragile times in marital relationship and arguments on such occasions are based on misunderstanding and doubt about each other. Arguments can end up in ventilating frustration upon each other which will be too heavy for the other partner to bear. Each partner needs to bring up issues of serious nature when relationship is stronger and intimate. It is necessary to build relationships through acts of kindness and thoughtfulness to avoid escalation of trust deficit rather than attempt to justify each person's position through an argument during such a season in marriage. 

4. Clarification. Some arguments are necessary to clarify each other's position on an issue. Such conversations clear the atmosphere of misunderstanding. It is necessary to receive each other's position and begin building relationship with acceptance and appreciation. It is wise to keep such conversations short, less analytical or  inquisitive. Such arguments are to listen and welcome the other's point of view. There will be questions to which clarifications are offered, When a couple can use such occasions to understand each other, the quality of relationship will get naturally enhanced.

5. Consensus. Every couple has to argue with each other when some decisions are to be arrived at. Whether it is concerning purchasing a household item or going on a holiday or r matters related to the discipline of children, etc. the couple need to have a convergence of opinion. Often such arguments are healthy and productive, because both partners are eager to listen and arrive at an acceptable conclusion. The openness to listen is evident that these arguments do no create suspicion or irritation. There is an anticipation of arriving at a wise decision by consultation, that most couples are drawn towards each other in greater love and appreciation at the end of such an argument.  

Arguments are a form of conversation. All conversations are meant to enhance communication and marital harmony. Some arguments will disturb  marital harmony and some will enhance it. A wise couple will choose arguments that will have a salutary effect on marital harmony. It is necessary to keep a golden rule in marriage relationship- both will win or lose together. Therefore any argument which does not promote communication is out of place in marital relationship.        

Surprise in the morning

All these are birds Anna and I watched at  dawn on a cherry tree adjacent to our bed room. They came to feed on the  ripening fruits.  These birds returned in the evening. This was mid spring.

One of the reasons why birds are disappearing from our neighborhood is, that the fruit bearing trees are decreasing in number with most out door spaces getting used for buildings.

One way to attract birds to our neighborhood is to hang bird feeder with grains in trees or shrubs in the garden or from  the ceiling of the houses in a corner.It may take a while for birds to make it a habit to feed from them. They will surely come for food during rainy and dry seasons.

The cacophony of birds have a stimulating and  soothing effect on human mind.  Children even from their young days need to learn to care for God's gifts in nature. Children who are introduced to pets from early age grow up with ecological consciousness.

M.C.Mathew(text and photos)

Still photographs with compact camera

If you are keen to capture sights and scenes, let me encourage you to carry  a compact camera with you. It does not matter what brand it is, its optical zoom or range, focal length, etc. Carrying a camera will help you to become more familiar with the art of photography. You will be surprised, how those pictures are good enough for a family album or for sharing with friends. In fact it is the first time I have captured a  cat yawning!

There will b deficiencies of light, sharpness, and clarity, but only in comparison. What matters is persistence to capture scene, preferably with your hands well supported, if there is a long wait to get the scene you want to capture. I prefer the automatic mode and take several pictures to choose one or two. It is only when you share the photo with someone who is used to photography, you will know the value of what you have captured. I was pleased to capture the Robin singing while it was in motion.

It was after much efforts and waiting for 20 minutes, I could capture the sparrow. Normally sparrows flutter and move fast that it is difficult to photograph them without special lenses. Although it was edited to magnify the image, good bit of the sharpness is still retained. The shadows on the ground in the above pictures reveal the side view and the distance from which they were captured. 

All the three pictures  are good enough to recall the experience with the family. The major limitation of compact camera is that it cannot adjust the exposure adequately according to the light conditions, which is obvious in the latter two pictures.

Let me encourage you to discover the value of having a pocket size camera with you, whenever possible if you want to retain some special memories.

M.C.Mathew. (text and photo)

Past stays with us, but differently

One of the usual questions I am asked during debriefing sessions is, 'what can I do to forget my past'?. Each of us carries memories of disappointments, hurts, failures, along with all the good and pleasant experiences.

Somehow we remember the difficult experiences longer, better and sharper. Each time  such an event surfaces in our mind, the unsettled emotions swell within and create a feeling of sorrow, remorse or self-pity. If this were to occur recurrently, it will deplete us of wellness and peace within. 

A young man was still pre-occupied with an embarrassing scene of teasing a girl, for which he was publicly reprimanded in the school assembly. Even after thirty five years and having been happily married with children, this  incident still makes him feel small. 

Our past will always be with us.  The stalks of the dry ornamental grass tell us of a dry summer that was just over.  The plant is back to its fullness. It is green and thriving. Soon the green leaves will cover the dry stalks. They would  fall into the ground little by little to become manure for the soil. 

Our difficult experiences can have  three distinct influences upon us. First, it tells us of our formative process and makes us grateful for lessons learned. Second, it helps us to acknowledge our vulnerability or fragility, so that we live with greater vigilance and responsibility. Third, the difficult experiences enrich us in a way, the pleasant experiences could not have done. A valley cannot be a substitute for the peek of the mountain and vice versa. Each has its unique formative impact in our lives.

It is wise to view our difficult experiences sympathetically and non-judgingly. With passage of time, if we can cease to dwell on the event, but draw strength from its learning insights, we would realize, how much more we are wiser because of what happened. 

A weekly personal review of the difficult experiences of that week, by discovering their learning messages, will help in diffusing their lingering presence in our conscious mind. When we have paid attention to them deliberately, they will seldom return to our memory or in dreams, to disturb our peace. This exercise will need some supervision from a friend initially,  to benefit from it maximally.

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Formative role of the Church in society

One  observation anyone will naturally make, while traveling in some parts of Europe, is how the villages and towns have grown geographically  around a church. Most villages will have at least one church building with its imposing presence in the serene skyline. 

Any community follows a philosophical tradition for its formation and evolution. Socrates, introduced the trilogy of truth, Morality and Technique(process) as foundational values for human existence and pursuit. It is but natural that the Christian west in the 19th and 20th centuries looked up to the church to be able to provide that thrust for pursuit of truth, morality, application of knowledge for human well being. The vicar of the church was viewed as the facilitator  to inspire the community for such a noble pursuit. Even now, all though church attendance has declined considerably, these churches still remain as reminders of the formative influence, they had in human development, promoting values of morality and truth and leading the community to live responsibly and relationally. 

In india, churches we inherited from the British are located in most prominent locations of towns and cities, in the good tradition of what was in the west. The churches were perceived by people as social institutions to advance truth, morality and human relatedness. That is why, the society welcomed the initiatives of the churches to establish educational institutions, Hospitals, orphanages, rehabilitation centers, etc. They were governed fro m the time of their inception by the calling to promote truth, morality and fullness of life for all people.

I wonder whether these institutions and churches, which  are still prominently located geographically in villages, towns and cities are viewed by the society as beacons of our historic commitment to truth, morality and fullness of life for all ! The Church is not an edifice of brick and mortar, but a movement of people that exists to serve others - in this instance to highlight the seminal values of truth, morality and just ways of sharig our resources with each other.

Much before the Right to Education Act came into being, I know of schools and colleges, owned by christian managements, setting aside a quota for students from the economically weaker sections of society. In two schools that I know, some children who received this assistance have later become teachers in the same school   I am familiar with several initiatives to enhance the capacity of tribals and dalits at tremendous risk by living among them. A church is a called apart community self-giving followers of Jesus.

M.C.Mathew

Two clocks and Two messages

 I come across two types of clocks, erected on top of some buildings.

The common type is a digital clock, which is large and visible. It is a tradition of the yesteryears, when wrist watches were uncommon, people in a village or town depended on such common clock towers. They are now only historical monuments. Most  digital clocks are silent, but precise and accurate in keeping time.  Their presence is only incidentally noticed.

However, it does what it is expected to do. Our society demonstrates a 'rat-race' culture, where people are desperate to be heard. It seems that some link their identity to how much they can be heard and listened to.  We are  more relevant and transforming through our presence than what we say and how much we say. There is gift of presence all of us can be to others. 

A three year old boy, not having any gift to give to her mother on her birthday, picked up the banana leaf kept for serving food and spread it before his mother and sat on it . Mother not understanding what her son was doing, scolded him for spoiling the leaf. Then he said to his mother, 'I am a gift for your birthday'. We can become a gift to others by our quiet and understanding presence. May be that is all,  that we can be sometimes. It frees us of the strife to be more than this.

Be present fully where we are placed. It was a ' little girl', a captive in Naman's house, who told his mistress about prophet Elisha, who could heal Naman of his leprosy (2Kings.5:2). It was Joseph, who was unlawfully imprisoned, who was able to interpret Pharoah's dream(Gen.41:25). A young man, Paul's sister's son reported to Paul in the prison, about the ambush, the jews were planning to kill Paul. Such instances in the Scripture remind us of the immense value of being fully present, where we are placed, to fulfill a mission.    

The   second type of clock is a chiming one. They were in olden times meant to announce to people time, every fifteen minutes. Those working in farms and factories depended on this for keeping the rhythm of their work during day and night. Now this is also more ornamental in value. In fact some communities resist the presence of a chiming clock as they perceive it to be disturbing. Such chiming clocks are a tourist attraction, such as the Big Ben at London. 

The chiming clocks have another function- audibility, which is an important function. It gives away the message of chronological time. However, it does so in musical notes, pleasant in listener's ears. It is not what it communicates, which is often the only intent of the manufacturer but how the chyme falls in the listener's ears. 

The Bible speaks  about this paradigm: 'Sound in speech, which is beyond reproach, in order that the opponent may be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us' (Titus.2:8). Let the way we speak encourage, upbuild and sustain others. Let our speech be comforting and refreshing. 'Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned, as it were with salt, so that you may know how you should respond teach person' (Colo.4:6).  

Relationships are built or ruined by how and what we say.

M.C.Mathew  (text and photo)  

         

Roots, birds and wood pile

Let me introduce to you three symbols that left some impressions on me, about the way we are called to live.

1. Roots. 

The root of a tree was the central decoration in the lawn of a house. This friend who collected this from a river bed spoke to us about its history of life- its foliage which may have been fodder for animals; its branches a home for birds and shade for humans; its fruits, which later would have become seeds; its cleansing presence in the atmosphere absorbing carbon dioxide and giving away oxygen and its end either by men felling it or falling naturally, in both cases disappearing from visibility to oblivion, except that the wood would have been used in building a house, boat, farm, furniture, etc.  Finally the root was left abandoned till, someone remembered its history and decided to give it an honorable place, for visitors to be reminded of its earlier existence. 

Roots speak of history. We as humans too have a history,conception, birth, life and death. The tree was self giving and it gave away all it had. That is why we are also created for. To give away what God has formed in our lives. Many around us are waiting for us to become a resource for their well being. It is a call for living to touch others with our kindness and goodwill.

2. Bird house. 

While walking along a natural forest,  we noticed several such bird houses, placed on trees to attract sparrows. With urbanization, sparrows are almost becoming extinct. The sparrows are scavengers around human dwellings  and keep the environment from other pests. The sparrows now can nest in these houses; so they are not displaced from our vicinity. 

There is a message for us in this symbol. We as humans are becoming more aggressive, demanding, and acquisitive. We seek for visibility, recognition, and popularity. There is an instinct of  self promotion resident in our lives. 

What the sparrows represent is the opposite of this.The sparrows are symbols of gentle presence and quiet service. They suffer being displaced and becoming extinct. Its habitat is disturbed. The cities have no bushes left in places of human dwellings for them to make their nest. In spite of these, they continue their mission of service. I wish, we could feel challenged by this example of serving, 'without counting the cost'and do so even in intimidating circumstances.   

     

3.  Wood pile.

This protected wood pile at the bed of a lake is to let insects, which are likely to be extinct, to live, reproduce and multiply. According to a display on the site about 200 species of insects are preserved by letting them live and multiply in these wood piles. Some of the insects who live in these piles of wood are tiny that you can notice them only when they move. These insects may or may not  have a significant contributory role in the environment. Yet, they are remembered.

What strikes me from its symbolism is that the least amongst us are often marginalized or ignored or forgotten. That is true of people groups; economically, socially or physically disadvantaged people; or people who live reduced lives. It is only as much as there is visible, beneficial and pro-active care for such people, any society can claim to be on a journey for honoring its people for their dignity.  The human dignity is a shared character with the creator God, for 'we are made in the likeness of God' to represent His moral character and loving nature.

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Making sense of a child's world

N is a seven year old school going child with epilepsy and developmental language disorder, who came to visit me six times during the last two years. During the first two visits, he cried towards the latter part of the consultation, without any obvious reason. At his third visit, I welcomed him to another room, which was sterile in its ambience without the usual child-freindly facilities, such as toys, aquarium, etc. He did not cry during that visit.

 That made me realize that it may be something in the usual consultation room, which  intimidates him.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

At the next visit , I covered the toy shelf and yet he cried in distress. No sooner had I taken him to another room he ceased crying, which made me feel fairly sure that it was the room and its ambience that  disturbed him. I covered the aquarium with a cloth and brought him back to the room. He did not resort to crying following this. But when I uncovered the aquarium, he cried inconsolably.   

I found the next visit uneventful as I welcomed him in another room.I enquired from the father whether he had any distressing experience with water. Father did not recollect any untoward incident.

After many leading questions, he recalled that he cries, while having a bath; refuses to wash hands after and before eating, and is most uncomfortable when he has to walk in water clogged roads after rain. He seemed to have developed this when he turned four.

Father recollected with a sigh, while begin helped to travel back in his memory lane, that N had slipped into a stream of water during a rainy salon, when he was turning four, and had to be rescued. He appeared shocked and cried for long as if he was in distress.  Father was sure, that it was after this incident, he developed phobia for water.

N was often punished at home and school for not washing before and after eating. He often avoided bathing if he could help. He would drink water only after much persuasion and needed treatment for urinary tract infection twice during two years.

Many children have internalized different experiences and suffer recurrent emotional pain when there is any reminder of a traumatic incident. This is one form of post-traumatic stress disorder, with needs cognitive behavior therapy.They recover gradually but surely.

When a child appears unreasonable in his or her behavior, please take time to discover  its association with a possible previous trauma, fear, distress, etc. that a child may have suffered from. This calls for more sympathetic parenting practices and sensitivity by teachers at school.

M.C.Mathew

Controlling Instinct

I watched two boys engaged in a wrestling encounter. Both were pre-adolescent cousin brothers. They would have continued it longer, if they were not interrupted by their parents. I realized that both were trying to pin the other down to the ground.  Theirs was a determined struggle to overpower the other.

The pre-adolescence is an emotional and volitional period for seeking identity.  It is necessary for their formative process.

The down side of this tendency on the part of some children, is to persist in exercising their control over others well beyond their adolescent years. Those who felt overcome or subdued by others during their childhood habitually, can seek to exercise their authority over others. So they do this by wanting to control parents, teachers, and other elders in a subtle or manipulative way to feed their ego state. It is this which leads to arguments, quarrels, defiance and rebellious attitude durign pre-adolescent years.

It is necessary for parents to be aware of this transitional phase in the life of their pre-adolescent children.Parents need to promote their self-actualization. This can be done by introducing them to hobbies, leisure time activities, games, sports, dramatics, music, creative art forms, etc. Children are likely to invest their energy in excelling and feeling accomplished. This interactive involvement would help them to receive affirmation and and find acceptance. This can release them to some extent from their desperation to prove themselves or to control.  

If this were not to happen, some  children can grow up being desperate to exercise their authority over others.  Most adults are comfortable only in an ambience of equality and mutuality. If someone were to attempt to dominate, or control, usually such persons get excluded socially.

Parents can help their pre-adolescent children, by sympathetically accompanying them with love and acceptance. It is not by contesting their behavior, we help them in their transformation, but by enabling a change process with tact, wisdom, creativity and thoughtfulness.

MC.Mathew(text and photo)

A percussionist at the beach

Murugan, 10 years old, has been an entertainer at the Kalapet beach, Pondicherry, in the evenings, for the last five years, with his two percussion instruments.

He lost his family and and a younger sister, when his house was washed away in the tsunami. He was away in a relative's house at that evening. That is how he escaped a watery grave.Since then he has been staying with his uncle and attending school.

His father, a fisher man by profession,  used to entertain the family in the evenings with singing and percussion. Murugan remembered this and persuaded his uncle to get him a small percussion instrument. He trained himself to play it rhythmically and produced tuneful sounds of popular tamil movie songs.

Every evening he moves along the beach and performs for the visitors at the beach. He is not begging but performing. I have seen some visitors offering him cash gifts on their own, which he receives gratefully. 

Murugan does this to continue the practice of his father. He likes playing for children. I noticed him allowing children to try his percussion instrument.

He brings the money he earned to his uncle, which is an additional income for the family who is struggling with the declining income from fishing. 

Murugan is grieving for his family, but he is reaching out to others with the gift of music.

M.C.Mathew(text and photos)

Sights that speak

Each of these pictures tells us a story.They are life events which connect us with the society, to which we belong. Let me leave the images with you to reflect on.

You are welcome to suggest a caption for each of the pictures.

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Children’s sense of presence

I was returning home after long  hours of work on a hot and humid day. I felt tired and was in no mood to engage anyone in a conversation. The children staying in our apartment complex stopped me to draw my attention to the flowers which have blossomed in the garden.

I tried avoiding much conversation with them. But each of the children had something to tell me about the flowers and the meadow, which was just turning green after having been dry and brown fro long.

I walk pass the meadow every day, around which are these blossoming plants.  I had not noticed the flowers for their color, brightness, freshness and aroma, till the children led me to each plant and made me feel them. They appeared to know a lot about the flowers. One of them got stung by a honey bee, while standing and watching butter flies and honey bees. It did not deter him from accompanying me.      

None of these plants were in shade. They reminded me that these flowers look the same in summer as they are during the winter months. They quized me on the reason for this. They suggested that they are meant to be perennial genetically. They need copious water each day to retain the color and texture of the flowers.

Only then I realized that life has become a  routine of work and responsibilities with little attention to larger canvas of life. One needs to be fully alive to be able to take in, what is obvious and inviting. We see, hear and feel less because something within us is clouding our senses. Often it is busyness, tiredness and preoccupations.

I felt that children were awakening me to be  fully present, to what is around me. They retain a sense of wonder, curiosity and exploration. In this instance, they were reminding me to view life holistically. I shared with Anna this experience. She commented that, 'it is a long time since we had flowers in the vases. We seem to have lost something '. We lose a lot when we are not present to sights and scenes  around us.





M.C.Mathew(text and photos)

Singing bird

There was a drizzle one evening last week, after the prolonged summer heat with temperature soaring to 40 degrees C and above. It was a delight and a relief. 

As I was walking back home from the hospital, I noticed this mina sitting on a pillar of the building, under construction, soaking in the rain, quenching the thirst and singing. In an otherwise quiet evening, its singing was audible even from  distance.

Most of the birds of the campus flock around a green patch in the morning and evening , where the water overflowing from the overhead water tank falls. Of late, I noticed that birds are not seen there either. It is then I remembered that there was a campaign in the campus to conserve water by repairing all the sources from where water leaks. 

We have conserved water, but displaced the birds from their habitat. We have recently kept open our two outdoor cement tanks, where we breed fish, to see if the birds will access this source of water. That did not happen. But we noticed that many birds flock to our garden to sip water from the pots, when they are watered. 

It seems there is a struggle for survival. We need a more environment friendly attitude where our efforts to make the environment livable is all-inclusive. 

Story of bird lovers

Following, the cyclonic storm in December, 2011, at Pondicherry, many trees were uprooted in the hospital campus. The maintenence staff at the hospital were fully occupied  for several days to replant or reinforce them with support.One evening, they were at work to raise a fallen tree outside our residence. The supervisor noticed an owl in the foliage with an injury in its wing.

Injured Owl

Our neighbor is a family of nature lovers. Sidharth, who is a biologist, took the         responsibility to nurse the owl back to its health. The third picture is taken after five days of care and attention, just before the owl was released to its natural habitat.

                                                                              

Ready to fly away

Finds a home

The owl flew away and found an opening, meant for the exhaust fan in the wall of an adjacent residential complex and made it its home, since then. Many children and adults watched this owl grow up over the next few weeks.

Finds a family

One evening after the sunset, I noticed a second owl at  the mouth of the hole. A romance had begun!

All these began with Sidharth's effort to nurse the owl and restore it to return to its habitat. A little help had made all the difference!

We no longer see the owls. The pigeons have occupied the space. Although they were displaced by pigeons, we know that they are in our viscinity from their screeching sounds at night.

These nocturnal birds live away form human habitat normally. A sight or movement of people normally would disturb them and they would fly away.

The story of this owl is different. It stays near the human habitat and appears to be comfortable as of now.

We are responsible for creating a friendly environment for the flora and fauna.This calls for much consideration towards the least in the animal kingdom. The sparrows have almost disappeared from our neighborhood, for lack of food and due to noise and atmospheric pollution. I come across wooden nests on some trees in public gardens to attract sparrows. There is some success.

We ought to be grateful for nature's gifts and be more committed to keep the environment a better place for co-existence.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)