A withering mango tree, a coconut palm in decay, a tree with its new leaves, another tree with flowers and a rose plant with its flower and buds infested with pest-all these are sights in our garden. 

For me this is also my inner ambience now. Some experiences have fallen apart, few initiatives thrive, and some experiences are in disarray. It is a mixed emotional state.

What brought these experiences together is worth pondering over. As I reflected, I realised that there is an ageing process even for relationships. What was mutually affirming can turn out to be less bonding in due course of time as those involved in relating to each other can grow out of the boundary and need of such a relationships. So we do not part in discomfort but in accepting the need of each person to go beyond what constituted the present level of engagement. 

All of us are voyages and we move on in life and would find others whom we are used to, be less inviting because our needs have changed and theirs too. We therefore look for new frontiers of engagement. 

So some relationships will dry up or become shallow. It is not to be seen as a rejection of each other, but an indication of the changes taking place in each of our lives because of which we  move on to find what suits our inner needs at that time. 

Just as it is in our garden, it is likely that most of us have a mixture of experiences of living and strained relationships. We need to cherish the memories of relationships although some of them are not fully alive now. Gratefulness towards each person who has contributed to enlarge our lives at one time is a due acknowledgement of what we received and offered to make a relationship fruitful. Being thoughtful towards others even when the nearness or openness have suffered is the sound way of staying respectful of others even in difficult situations. 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)