A prolonged pause!

This is the typical pause that Dulce has when she is asked to 'come in' after play in the the courtyard ! It is a prolonged pause! We decided not to give a command a second time!

What is this prolonged pause for! To ponder on 'to come in or not to come in' !

If she hears the shaking of her biscuit tin, she rushes in without this pause!

So she is conditioned by her like for her biscuits!

Most of us have this conditioning habit! We do many things because they give us some pleasure or fulfillments. That is a good enough reason! 

However this cannot be the whole reason for doing anything! When the Singapore government introduced a fine for littering the streets three decades back, people were introduced to doing something good ,although it was difficult initially! Now Singaporeans are habituated to keep the streets clean!

All practices or human behaviour ought to have a larger reason than just personal pleasure or gratification! What is good for me alone is not the issue, but what is good everyone is the real issue!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Think about it!

I found this most helpful, when an occupational therapist with her considerable years of experience with children, summarised this information in her presentation at a conference recently!

From this it is clear that the ideal age for children to begin with writing alphabets would  be after five years when a child can actually formulate a triangular shape. Most of the alphabets in any language has a triangular or quadrangular configuration.

Is it not unfortunate that we put a lot of pressure on children even from three years or even earlier to write! In fact most of the punishment that children suffer from at home or school is when they ar not able to write!

We make children suffer because of our expectations! I wonder whether we woeful advocate for this change!

M.C.Mathew( text and photo)

One stem, one bud!

The rose plants can have one bud or several buds on a stem!

This has intrigued me. In one sense when there is only one flower in a stem one can be disappointed!

However, I noticed that the solitary flower in a stem stands out and does share its uniqueness to the garden!

This is was a conversation yesterday with a family! They have two children, one is versatile with a variety of abilities and engagements at school. The other does not have a spectrum of outgoing skills, but the mother said that he is 'most caring'!. It is he who asks his parents about the day at work and enquires different things connected with their lives. 

There is value in every experience we go through. In an acquisitive culture, there is a growing desire to have more of everything, particularly of things we need and want. But less can be more, if what we  have touches our lives seminally and makes us more humane and mindful!

M.C.Mathew( text and photo) 

Even Dulce has her routine!

Dulce ahs a routine walking from the house to the gate couple of times when she is on her morning walk! She follows almost the same route and stands on the parapet before she woeful come into the house! She hesitates to come in if she has not had her morning share of the outdoor activity!

For most of us routines might make us stereotypical. In fact some routines are rituals which can have meaning an purpose. 

Yesterday a family spent about forty five minutes talking about the disorder in the house with the two children pulling them in different directions. One follows a routine for most of the day and the other resists any order!

Temperamentally people are different.. but once we can transcend to see different activities as chores and grow to remain present to them, then all activities, however small or apparently insignificant can bring meaning and contentment!

At the end of the conversation the mother confessed, that it is more meaningful, if we do not live under pressure! Ther are times when hurrying is needed, and there are other times when leisurely pace is equally needed!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Missing and finding!

When Anna and I left Vellore in 2010, we packed our belonging in several boxes. Although we had a list of the different items in each box, it was not exhaustive. 

This audiometer went missing. There are still some boxes yet to be opened. Anna recently is completing the last stage of the unpacking. This audiometer appeared in one plastic bag safely kept in a box.

I had another audiometer which I was able to use at work, which went out of order after twenty years in clinical use. So I returned to using calibrated sound makers for primary screening of hearing of children. I often thought for ordering for another one! However the cost was prohibitive.

So when it arrived it was a new experience. To my surprise, it is in working condition!

I have struggled with a question, 'Am I overstaying in clinical work at my age' for the last several months. After thirty five years, one thinks of a closure. 

At least for the time being, the arrival of this audiometer suspends that question for a while! 

All most all experiences in life have an existential and symbolic meaning, if we were to take time to reflect upon!

The events in our lives can refresh and renew us. Beneath the turbulent surface water of the sea, there is stillness!   

We are called to live beneath the surface in union with our inner spirit, where God resides!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Think of a drop !

During the fifteen minutes I watched this dew drop, it stayed like that even when there was gentle breeze!

It dawned on me that even a drop is secure! It stays because it is held by the leaf!

This is hope giving!

We can stay content in this hope!

M.C.Mathew(text an photo)

Reaching Home!

I watched this parakeet takes several small steps before it arrived at its nest! Obviously the bird is aware of the predators!

Arriving our home is a long journey! What is this home! A state of wellness in our lives, when we are at peace with what is going on inside and outside!

We are dynamic emotionally and this wellness gets disturbed!

Fear, anxiety and stress contribute to the unsettlement. 

So if we can take conscious inner preparation to counter frantic and fragmented ways of living, we would move towards inner composure and an optic of hope in all circumstances!

The words of Jesus of Nazareth, 'Come to me..'is an invitation to find our home!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

From a seed!

Anna kept the seeds of some mangoes during the last season near the fireside for them to dry!

Later she planted a few seeds in a pot and we recently transplanted them to our garden!

As we watch this sapling in our garden, it speaks of a journey this mango seed has made. I have a feeling that this is from a bunch of mangoes, Dr. Thomas Ram from CMC Vellore brought to us from Delhi when he returned after a meeting. The mangoes in Delhi usually come from the states of UP and Bihar.

Now that mango seed is in our garden!

A gift turns into hope... we now wait for this plant to grow, flower and give us mangoes!

Every gift we give or receive carries with it this prospect of hope!

A gift is an expression of thoughtfulness and kindness. That touches human hearts!

MC.Mathew (text and photo)

A cycle in nature!

It is the sixth time this year I watched this cycle of events in our garden!

I have often struggled with the question of using pesticides to stop this cycle!

Even after using them when about fifty plants have been denuded for a good period of this year, this cycle could not be abetted!

So Anna sid, let us refer to our garden as a home for the butterflies!

That is a good way of viewing this cycle and wait the for the butterflies to flutter !

Th inner optic is what matters! It would take away the stress of coping !

MCMathew (text and photo)

Something to consider!

It is worth reflecting on how we receive each day in our lives!

I confess that the second cartoon might be true of many offs... We live fragmented, preoccupied and burdened!

In receiving the day, there is openness, freedom and wholeness!

There is a contrast to the rush of living when the inner compass is directed towards finding meaning in events that take place within and without!

M.C.Mathew  

Winter has arrived!

The announcement of another season!

There are seasons in nature and seasons in our interior lives!

The winter of interior lives is a valuable season when looking back nd looking forward can take place in an unhurried way! It is a season of interior personal friendship!

M.C.Mathew

The morning of Christmas cheer!

This was when each of my colleagues brought out what hey made at home for the Christmas cheer sale!

To me it was an occasion of immense joy! Six people made the occasion possible. The preparation lasted about six weeks.

At the end of this, they described the experience as a pleasant experience! When I saw them stitch handkerchiefs, bags, make chocolates, candles, juice, etc. I realised the abundance of skills each person brings in to the group!

For them working together for a cause was a growing experience. That is how it can be in most occasions!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Learn form the ant!

One ant sucking the honey!

It is cactus with thorns with a brilliant blossom!

Amidst the hostile setting the ant finds its daily bread!

If I were to take the flowers as a metaphor for life, then we are called to live and blossom in difficult circumstances. We live in order that others might find our lives as a resource of their well being!

The flower gives honey to whoever comes to it! It does not choose its customers!

In our daily living at home, work place or society, others come to us with different motives or needs! Let every one find something in us to enliven them!

What if we feel exploited! It would happen! That is the time to stay objective because life is larger than an offering we can give to a person! So guard life to live and learn TILL our time of Gethsemene has arrived!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Buds and blossoms!

I have an interest to look at the biography of the buds... to see what happens to them!

The rose bud was eaten away just in one day!

Our hope, longings or aspirations can be sometimes shattered by circumstances which we did not anticipate! The better days may not arrive!

It is important to turn each day into a day of living fully without yielding to the pressures to stay discouraged or disheartened. 

After a season of about two months, whenI felt depleted to survive the pressures of circumstances, I am returning to rest in the reality that all buds might not blossom. But take delight in the buds as well!

Take delight in small things, events, happening and fulfillments...that becomes the means to feel restful and hopeful!

A child asked me yesterday, 'Can I play football'! He was discouraged playing because he is under treatment for seizures. What a delight it was for him to be given permission to play!

Whether it be a bud or a blossom, take delight and move on! There is a journey whose way stations should not deter us from the journeying into life! Life is 'abundant' according to Jesus of Nazareth!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Individual gift becomes a collection!

This box of currency was the collection after the 5th Anniversary Christmas cheer two weeks back . About two hundred people contributed towards this. Each person made a small contribution, but it became large enough for a substantial purpose!

What can one person do! What is it worth a question which dissuade us form doing what we can do!

In our existential society acquiring has received lot of attention. We are being enticed to acquire because our visible possessions seem to reveal our ability, resource or achievement.

Against this growing trend, giving has received lesser attention! We give when we are moved by a need or an emergency!

However giving needs to be a habit!

WE CAN GIVE OUR TIME, ATTENTION, RESOURCE...there is also the self giving which is what can become a mentoring support to others!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Rare flowers!

I found this bush with flowers in the MOSC MC garden. It was the first time I had noticed such a flower!

There is something all the time that you can discover for the first time in nature! Walk through gardens to find such first time sights!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Mushroom in the garden!

This is the season for looking out for mushrooms in the garden! The giant mushrooms might not be good for human consumption. My mother used to know the difference. 

One thing I found out that the mushrooms sprout each year at the same sites. So I am familiar with the places where they can be found!

It is another gift the earth gives to us! Think of the multitudes of such benefits we receive form the earth!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Times have changed!

The levelling of the paddy field before the seeds were sown was done earlier with bullocks pulling the levelling plough. Now, humans have replaced it! This recent change is a reminder to us that there is a change taking place in the rural community!

One change that is responsible for this is that the elders in the community have encouraged their children to prepare themselves for skilled and semi skilled jobs as a result of which agriculture based engagements have become uncommon in the rural communities! Rearing cows, bullocks, buffaloes, etc are specialised engagements, which need enormous skills. 

Almost every home had a cow or an ox in my neighbourhood when I was at school. Now we have just one family in our neighbourhood, who rear cows, It is that family that gives us fresh milk each morning! This is a special experience, to wake up each morning to have fresh milk served at our door!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

A Highway Scene!

I noticed this dangerous journey on a two wheeler recently! The lady in the second photograph is asleep from what I can make out!

We seem to push our boundaries beyond what we ought to!

It is this scene which helped me early this month to recognise that I too cross boundaries without paying attention to the inner wellness I need to live in  harmony! This scene was a message to my soul

M..CMathew

A home made candle !

It was a pleasure to watch my colleagues lean about candle making and make them in the department! They were on display during the Christmas cheer sale!

As I watched this candle lit and bright, it brought a sense of immense appreciation for my colleagues, who are learning and growing. The outcome of this process is the gifts which they bring to rest of us!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Grand children!

Each grand child needs attention! Here the grand mother was under pressure to carry two children in her arms!

Grand children bring a sense of leisure and joy in any family. They take you on a journey of fun, laughter, exploration or conversation that we do not normally engage in! 

I realise from my own experience, that the grand children are a key to return to our personal childhood memories! 

The richness of this experience would stay with us and refresh us, although it can be sometime physically tiring! But often the attention turns away from our tiredness to their joy and fulfillments!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Play time !

Dulce and Daffney have a good time each morning in the grass. They chase each other, roll over , embrace each other...as we watch this day after day, we realise the spontaneity of relationships. 

I am at a time when some relationships have been strained and stay so! I have had stressful situations lasting for months now and have just moved out from a responsibility which bound me to a situation that I was not comfortable with! It was a decision that others did not concur with me.

After this intense play both the dogs lie quiet panting! Daffy would be ready to her kennel and Dulce indoor.

There are times of respite when we can recover! 

I am in such a journey now considering the intensity of engagement I have had in a responsibility I have had to carry.

I have a lot to explore of the additional domains of relationships that I had not discovered earlier !

A child helped me on this journey, 'Uncle, when I had a bad day, I take time to think about it rather than blame anybody else...'

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Two colours in a rose plant!

Two rose flowers in two colours in a rose plant in our garden!  Even the colours of the flowers changed over a few days! This was a sight that surprised us.

Is it not true that in a family two children would have two different temperament, attitudes, values or choices!

That is what makes a family rich in its heritage!

I have to encounter this often in my work, when parents compare children and find it difficult to accept the heterogeneity between children in abilities, interests, attitudes and initiatives. 

It has been learning journey to be reconciled to this reality even in work place. Each person is different from the other and yet, it is important to give each person the space to express and grow. The ethos of work place becomes comfortable for each person when the differences between people get accepted and use them to be complementary!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Celebration times!

These were different occasions in the department where I work and in Anna's department. Each of them was a happy occasion.

Anna has had to do a lot with students helping them in their research projects and supporting them to make presentations in conferences. We are amazed at the way the students responded to each opportunity by their sense of purpose and choices.

The last picture of of a foster get-together is a memorable occasion. This was a farewell occasion for five interns who were to move on to find a place for their post-graduate admission. They (seated) provided much cheer and encouragement to us in different ways.

One of the special experiences of our five years at this college where we work is the net work of relationships that blossomed in a natural way!

To be present to others in the way they are comfortable with is a leaning journey!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Beginning!

About a month back I had two visitors who came for an overnight stay. Anna was away at Ludhiana. One of them borough two mango saplings. They planted them in our garden.

Two weeks later the shoots adorned the stem!

All beginnings have immense meaning! The beginning is  symbol of hope and prospects in future!

One day this mango tree would bear fruits! These shoots would become branches for the fruit!

It is this which inspires me to stay on engaging with children who have special needs even after thirty five years! Every time a family visits me with their child who has special needs, I am reminded of the call to raise  hope in their lives.. hope transforms despair or resignation.

A couple came to visit us to thank us for being in the life of their son for about fifteen years, whom they lost recently following status epileptics.  They narrated the contact with us which gave them hope. I wish all of us can carry this mission of giving hope through our conversation and communication!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo) 

Wayside sights!

When we travel, we see sights on roadsides. But they stay in our sights and thoughts transiently .

What if we were to stop and take a closer look and feel the ambience!

These flowers were at the edge of a stream! The made it romantic!

As I stayed watching these flowers sway in the gentle breeze against the backdrop of the running water, I felt that those flowers were greeting me with their dance in the wind! 

We are surrounded by beauty and meaning...it calls for alertness and attention to internalise them! 

Most of us have attenuated attention because we live with preoccupations! 

So take short breaks and walks to feel connected with our inner self, where so much happens because God is at work in our lives silently! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)