Receiving a son or daughter!

A rose plant tells its biography through the bunch of  flowers above. It has stalk of fallen flowers, another of a drooping flower and other two stalks bearing flowers looking fresh and vibrant. 

A biography is a history! The history starts with someone planting a sapling or a cutting in a garden after preparation of the soil. The plant was protected and tended which allowed growth and now flowering. It survived the attack of insects and pests. The incessant rain of the monsoon dampened its growth for a while. 

Each of us has a biography of pleasant and unpleasant happenings in our lives. 

The eight stages of psycho-behavioural transitions from infancy to the eight decade of life proposed by Eric Ericsson is a guide to learn from the biography of our lives. The becoming and transforming process and experience in our lives during the eight stages, take us through the span of lour lives with one message that we are on a becoming journey!

The genotype each of us inherited from our  parents, when nurtured in  a healthy and sustained manner, makes us become who we are endowed to be. 

One stanza in the Poem on children, His name is tomorrow, by Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931) brings a new perspective on our biography. 'They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself; they come through you, but not from you, and though they are with you, yet they belong not to you..' 

For the poet, children become sons and daughters. 

It is in the setting of a home, every child experiences this becoming process of being a son or a daughter. A son or daughter though are with parents in their home, 'they do not belong to you'!

A son or daughter is born from parents, and yet they do not belong to them!

This poem brings an eternal dimension to the life of a son or daughter well beyond the temporal dimension. 

In that sense the parenting is a vocation to treasure the presence of a son or daughter and pursue the eternal dimension he or she brings to every home! A son or daughter makes a home a treasure house of eternal perspectives. 

When a five year old child decided to buy a new set of clothes for three children in his neighbourhood whose parents are labourers, it was a surprise to the parents. The parents planned for a grand party, but their son desired to be mindful of the needs of three other children. 

How much different a home would be when parents are on a journey to discover the mystery a son or daughter brings to their home !

From planning for the son or daughter, the attention turns to assisting him or her to become himself or herself! 

This is formative parenting presence!

When a parent receives a child as a son or daughter,  he or she brings a a sacred dimension to their lives, because, 'they come through you, but not from you..' 

It is when a son or daughter is received as a gift, parents would be able to make the home a hospitable place for their wellness!

I like the way the Psalmist describes this mystery of life in the Old Testament of the Bible in Psalms 139: 'Thou didst form my inward parts; thou didst weave me in my mother's womb...I am fearfully and wonderfully made..' (v 13-15).

Every son or daughter is therefore a gift of love; parenting is a vocation to treasure and nurture that gift !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Seasoning our social space!

I kept watching how this rose bush would behave after its five flowers had fallen off !

A new shoot was visible after two weeks, one at the top and one below. 

The urge to live and bear flowers is inherent to a plant. What is in a rose bush unless it is flowering!

This left a message of encouragement to ponder upon!

I had to be in a local office to get some help regarding the documentation of the property!

I was touched by the kindness and attentiveness of one person in the office that I stayed on to watch his pleasing manners while attending to the work of others. 

Our nature is nurtured by the environment. His pleasing ways took me  to imagine the environment of the home where he would have grown up. It might have been conducive to grow up with wellness and mindfulness towards others. 

Soon the rose bush above would have new buds, all being well. 

Meeting that person in the office yesterday gave me hope as such people leaven the social space we live in with their acts of kindness and goodness. 

We need more goodness and mindfulness in our social space!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Colourful presence !

 

The Torenia bushes above with wish bone flowers bring an ornamental look to our garden, after the monsoon showers. 

The flowers  are trumpet shaped and carry twin colours in the flowers. Some bushes yield flowers of different colours. 

This plant grows well when the morning sunshine is upon them and can be in the  shade during the rest of the day. The humming birds and other pollinators visit the flowers. 

This plant needs least attention and self perpetuates in the garden giving a colourful look during the spring. 

The first stage of the flower is a bell shaped shell from which the flower emerges with a tubular shape in the body of flowers with twin colours in the petals. 

The quiet and charming presence of these flowers reminded me of how these flowers have a quiet presence at the ground level. Other plants grow in height and spread wide that they are often noticed. Except during the time when the Torenia plants flower they can remain subdued or unnoticed!

The quiet presence and seasonal flowers make these plants rather distinct in a garden!  

A home is for a family of different people with different inherent nature and outward expressions. A home is a garden of colours, aroma and temperaments, each person contributing it to become a flourishing ambience for each other. 

A family Anna and I know well celebrated  their family life by lighting a candle at breakfast time on Saturdays. Although they lived alone with children and grandchildren scattered in different places, they made their home a place of grateful memories and recollections. 

A home is a place of memories and memorials!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The alone time !

The Bulbul above spent about fifteen minutes on the cable in our courtyard, being present to itself although the feeding table was active with other birds ! The silent presence with different postures of the body is a habit some birds practice !

A bird spends time alone while grooming; when alone they engage in bird calls; they also gauge the environment during such alone times. They create the alone times as part of their rhythm and ritual!

I reflected on the alone times I practice! Often distractions, thoughts and temptation to be analytical, make the alone times crowded! The traction to think and reflect is so strong that remanning silent and 'thought-free' is a challenge!

The interior stillness is a sacred and healing experience! It is in that silence we reach the depth of our being! It is when we become present we meet with the core of our being. This soulful experience initiates us to  transcend material or temporal reality of our lives. The materiality that occupies us has a strong hold on us, which makes us people of activities, aspirations and self-promotion. 

In the interior stillness, we feel disarmed of thee compulsions and receive a gentle stroke of love, acceptance and affirmation from the God of our lives, in whose presence we would feel immersed! 

It is during such occasions we feel enabled to transcend the materiality and embrace the spirituality that resides deep within. To feel loved and experience it during such times of interior stillness leads us to feel restored to be more human. 

As humans we live bereft lives without this sense of awareness of our humanity which we co-share with the character of God. The instinct of love generated within us during such alone times of communion with God, is what gives us peace to live our lives mindfully and altruistically!

The stillness of Bulbul reminded me of the interior silence and the sac- redness it brings to life !

It is such a sense of belonging to God that prepares us to receive others, who too bear the image of God in their lives! It is the light within us that helps us to live our calling to 'be a light' to others! 

If only the leaders of the nations would have such a light of mindfulness we would not have seen worsening of situations in Gaza, Ukraine, Iran, or Israel! 

Our alone times are therefore times of prayer for love to receive the gift of love to 'love our neighbours as ourselves' and 'love our enemies' as proposed by Jesus of Nazareth !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)