From the drawing room of our cottage, we have a good view of the fields up to a distance of about five hundred meters. I like watching the sights and scenes in the fields after wind or rain.
Towards the evening yesterday, when the visibility was fading, I noticed two crows perched on the terminal twigs of a tall teak tree about three hundred meters away. It was windy and raining, although not so intense!
What struck me was, one crow sitting at the edge of a twig, balancing to stay close to the other crow! The other crow was perched better, as it was protected from both sides by the foliage. The wind did not displace it.
One crow had chosen to stay while the other was struggling to hold on!
It highlighted the choice a bird can make. One chooses a safer place and the other opts for a vulnerable perch! If the vulnerable perch gave any advantage of any sort, it could be considered worth it.
Some experienced birders have stories of how a male bird has to impress a female bird during mating season for courtship! This was less likely to be one such instance!
A professor of surgery, late Dr Frank Garlick, once told me about the choices we make in our lives. We are to make choices in life corresponding to our ability to go through the after effects of that choice. He narrated a situation where a young doctor couple was living miserably in a rural area with his family, trapped in an unredeemable situation, where the hospital was dysfunctional in spite of his efforts to revive the hospital for three years. When the family moved to another hospital, the family recovered and their contribution to the hospital made a difference with more patients coming to the hospital. This family had initially chosen to go to a difficult situation in the hope of turning around the situation. The doctor couple got subsumed by the complex situation that their skills were not enough to change a chronic conflicting situation.
This example has remained with me since then. I come across some who feel carried away by a heroic orientation. It works well for some and not for all.
Late, Dr George Joseph, a retired professor of Community Medicine from the All India Institute of Medical Sciences, New Delhi, became the chairman of the Council of Healing ministry of the Church of South India and was stationed in Chennai. Anna and I had known him well during our time in Chennai from 1983. He after visiting the several church run hospitals found that some doctors were not conditioned to work in rural hospitals for longer periods, because, their temperament and habits were more suitable for another environment. From the different interventions made to match the environment and the 'calling' of doctors, he demonstrated changes and revivals in the life of the doctors and the hospitals. He helped me to understand that the needs of the family would also change during the different stages of transitions in a family that we ought to be responsive to address them. His approach was to avoid making a family stay in a vulnerable situation for too long that they feel exhausted in their endurance and resilience.
The crow could have chosen a safer perch like the other crow. Even if it wanted the pleasure of an adventure to stay afloat in the strong wind, it does not have to perpetuate the habit to end up struggling to stay. There is a choice without stretching to a state of exhaustion to exist!
It is from an inner state of readiness and wellness, one can be optimally present in a given situation! To live is a calling just as serving is a calling!
I wish all those who are in a profession, where 'giving and caring' is habitual, they would have a formative appraisal of their wellness, in body, mind, spirit, family life, relationships, communication process and emotional quotient! I had an experience of being involved with professionals who go through mid life, where such a personal integrated appraisal three times in a year seemed to have helped some to monitor the quality of their integrative living! Some are still in touch to share how they align their lives to live at a wellness level they chose of themselves.
We are human and our personal humanity is unfolding as we go along the journey in life! There is a journey from being, to becoming, belonging and befriending life!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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