Relational habits !

 We have a bird bath and feeding corner for birds who visit our garden.

I noticed that this Magpie Robin has a habit of perching in the cable close by to the feeding corner, after it had its morning feed to look around. It ends that time with chirps which are different from its usual bird calls. The short tuneful chirps usually alert of its presence in our courtyard. I wonder if it calls for us! Soon after I came nearby, it changed its chirps making them even more tuneful. 

I get a sense of the social nature of Magpie robins. Three of them are usually around in our garden in the mornings. One of them follows a pattern of coming to the feeding corner, perch in the cable and fly away to perch in the coconut tree, to give its usual long bird calls, which can be ahead from distance. 

Some birds follow a regular practice. I wonder, if those birds who are more sociable wait for our responses and reciprocate by regular visits to the gardens. The Magpie robins are usually the early morning visitors, followed by pair of Bulbuls and a Tailorbird.

Anna and I feel that these feathered friends, who are regular visitors,  return on some days in the evenings, to be near our cottage and chirp till we notice them. Their routines have a relational dimension. 

Life is relational! Even birds remind us of this. 

I wish that this message is taken to heart by political and religious leaders, who have a significant influence in society,  to echo this message and call people to live in a relational way!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)  

Migrating birds

I noticed a flock of Barn swallows in the field below us, perched in the electric cable. They are migratory birds usually not found in this region. 

It was good to see them in a flock and watch them groom, while was going on in the sky. 

Another flock of Asian Bee Eater arrived little later, at dusk, while they too were on transit flight. 

The nature is ever ready to welcome and tend the feathered families. The giving habit!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

From the field to a Tree!

 The Pond Herons come to our garden and move between trees and garden!

This has happened since the fields near the stream, which used to be a grazing field for cattle, is now a rubber nursery. The Pond Herons have lost their habitat and cattle around which they used to be found. 

Most of these birds have moved away. Out of a few, who are still left come to our garden. 

The migrant workers who come to Kerala to work, from the North Indian states, are displaced people from their home and family. 

There are thousands who are displaced from their homes in Gaza, Ukraine, Myanmar, Manipur and other places of conflict. 

This is most dehumanising! I wish that the political system in these countries feel for people, who are homeless and live in refugee camps!

I have recently felt that our political system is corrupt with ambitious pursuit for selfish gain. A chief minister of a state in India resigned in the morning yesterday and came back in the afternoon to be sworn in as the Chief minister with the support of another party, which was in opposition. The loss of political morality, although obvious, is no more an issue in this culture of self promotion. 

I wonder whether the young people of India would choose their political leaders wisely! I wish political movements would become more people oriented !

The displaced need friends and support!

At the same time, if millions are refugees waiting for homes, most  of nations of the world find it burdensome to be hospitable to them. 

I know that,the Indian government in the recent years is less hospitable to refugees from our neighbourhood !

A home is a human right!

The homeless are many in our midst! I feel encouraged that there is more initiative in the recent years from the civil society, to be proactive to build houses for those who are homeless!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Flowers and fruits!

It was in the first week of January 2024, I noticed that the cashew tree in our garden was beginning to flower. I noticed the first cashew nut on 12 th January and since then, the earliest cashew fruit has grown to be what it is, as seen in the last photo. 

The flowers bear the fruits at different times and the flowering of the tree continues even now. 

I watched this flowering and fruit bearing with some interest, watching this almost every day. This tree has born fruits every year for the last five years, in spite of the tree having had to be pruned almost every year, in order to allow it to grow upward instead of sideways. 

Flowering and fruit bearing complete the cycle of a tree every year. It is between January and April of every year that the fruits are normally noticed in the tree. Some visitors who came at other times of the year commented, 'This tree has not fruits'!

The waiting time for fruit, is for nine months every year. During the nine months the tree is growing to bear fruit in its season. 

An elderly gentleman who knew my parents stopped me on my way to the market, to say that his son who struggled along during the college days and became an embarrassment because of his habits and conduct, is now married and is well placed with a regular job. He was tearful when he talked about it. He used to meet my parents and share his concern, who encouraged him to be patient and be caring towards him. He recalled this incident to express gratitude to my parents for having been a support to him, when he had lost hope of his son redeeming himself from the bad company he got into. 

I noticed how a branch of a tree, in our garden,  which had to be cut as it was damaged in the wind,  is now having multiple new shoots from below. That luxurious growth from all around the stem surprised and delighted me. 

This image of the tree, overcoming its trauma was in my mind, while I was listening to the elderly gentleman, who stopped me to tell me about the recovery of his son. When probed about his childhood background, I realised that this boy lost his mother when he was three years and grew up as  a single child at home. His father being a farmer had to spend the day looking after the farm. He had to be the cook at home and look after his cattle farm as well. This boy grew up alone and was obviously lonely. No wonder he had a traction towards finding friends. Unfortunately, his friends dragged him into bad habits. 

The turning point was when a teacher in the college,  that he was studying, having noticed his skills in music, sports and creative writing encouraged him and favoured him to advance in those skills. Now as a journalist in a large firm, he is an accomplished person. 

That boy needed someone, who could accompany him through his childhood trauma and support him emotionally to find himself. 

In the story of the Prodigal son, which Jesus of Nazareth told His followers,  recorded in the gospel of Luke in the New Testament of the Bible,  there is a statement that referred to 'him coming to his senses' (Luke 15:17) which led him to return to his father after his indulgent and damaging life for a while. The delighted father on seeing his son coming, went towards him and embraced him. 

 

I realise how trauma in life is common, more so among children. They bear it without being able to express it as their feelings are amorphous and not well formed, till the post adolescent years. It is likely that the sense of loss and grief stay on till a person is helped to process them and move on with freedom and hope in his or her future. 

I come across suffering parents and grieving children!

I wish there is a formal process of enabling parents to feel for their children, when children show erratic behaviour and accompany them to  grow out of their indulgent behaviour.  

Th photo of a branch, who gave new shoots to restore its growth is a message to me, that children are born with resilience to transform themselves.

The cashew tree bears fruits in due season. It needs nine months each year to bear fruit. 

Parenting is a waiting experience. Nurturing children is an ongoing process. 

Both parents and children need accompaniment! That is a calling to which I hope some of us would respond to!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

 

 

 

 

Childhood formation!

A friend sent me some photographs of toys for the 'Manual of Ideas' now getting ready for the use of parents and professionals. It will hopefully give an overview of the way pre-school children can be engaged in play activities to reinforce their pre-learning skills. 

While arranging the photographs, this photo of the play dough held my attention. The play dough is an amorphous mass. 

There is a pyramid made out of this amorphous mass at the corner of the photo. It was one expression of someone's imagination!

To me, it became symbol of how parents can form and fashion the childhood of their children, into what they envision!

If only, parents can have a vision for each of their children and align their interest with the spontaneous interests, which a child would demonstrate from the pre-school years, what a surprise they would have in seeing their children pursue a creative path!

Anna and I listened to a story of a child at the age of four years, who while listening to songs or musical instruments, used to tap the fingers rhythmically! A visitor who was musical suggested that she might be interested in percussion and instrumental music. Since the family introduced her to the percussion instruments, she now at the age of 20 years, has become an accomplished percussionist and is currently pursuing music studies. 

An outstanding example of alertness to notice a hidden talent and skill in a child at a pre-school age!

I wonder whether parents would consider the formative process of their children as a calling and engage children with a dream to help them to become what they can be!

Most children go through early childhood, wandering between activities, without any fruitful formative experience, as parents and teachers focus on the formal class room learning and loose sight of the seeds of skills that await nurturing!

A play dough is formed into shapes, sizes, patterns, and models when one who uses it has a design in mind!

Children live in our homes, for parents to become formatters of their future! It is what parents envision, they are likely to become! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A surprise visitor !

Anna and I had a delightful morning with Professor Mahadevan, who recently retired from JIPMER, Pondicherry. He surprised us by finding us out and coming to visit us, while he was at Ernakulum for a professional conference. 

During our short time at PIMS at Pondicherry from 2009, after retirement from CMC Vellore, we had occasions to meet Professor Mahadevan. He shared some of his life experiences with us during this visit. We were touched by his gracious ways and words during the visit. It is seldom we have an opportunity to meet with former professional friends, since we stopped going for professional conferences for a while. We were touched by the kind gesture of Prof. Mahadevan to visit us. 

One thing that stood out in our conversation was how some experiences in our lives were a turning points to make life more relational and mindful of others. 

Prof. Mahadevan is widely travelled with advanced research work and original contributions in the treatment of snake bite and tuberculosis of the Central Nervous System in children. He was responsible to start the post doctoral fellowship and Doctor of Medicine programme in Paediatric Intensive Care at JIPMER. 

His humility, thoughtful ways and teaching skills make him a distinguishable person. 

When Anna and I recalled his visit later in the day, we felt that his visit brought cheer and encouragement to us. His was an occasion for us to remember the days when we were active academically and professionally. It became a window to have an excursion into our yesteryears. 

I happened to notice at the end of the day in our flower vase, a grasshopper on a rose flower. 

A flower is open and receptive!

It was a good way to close the day with the message from the flower and a grasshopper- to remain open and hospitable!

It was a day of recollections of many memories and turning points in our lives!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Breaking the silence!

I kept watching the fields at day break, becoming visible from a distance, as the morning sun made it brighter and colourful. The splendour of the morning is in seeing the darkness getting consumed by the rising sun. It is the light that overcomes the darkness. I remembered a phrase in the Bible from Psalm 36:9, 'In Thy light we see light'. It is because of what is inside us, we are able to see what is outside. The light within us leads us to know and discern the light outside. 

It is because of the knowledge of what is darkness and light, one is able to make that contrast, when confronted by either of it. 

I was in that reflective pause, when the bird call sounded loud and tuneful in the silence of the morning. My attention turned in that direction. A Magpie robin was perched in a coconut palm and was engaged in the bird call, each call becoming longer in a crescendo fashion. 

The twilight and frequent long bird calls made the ambience serene to pause and take in the synchrony of silence and the alone voice. When  the bird call occurred, amidst the silence, it resonated within me as if it was a song to awaken me to behold the mystery of what a single small bird can do when it sings! The early morning silence  naturally brings a solemn ambience within. When that silence is interrupted by tuneful bird calls, there is a double effect of an inner composure. As the bird calls reached the interior silence, it was like a cord within gently moved  to bring music within. It was not the bird call after a while, but a tune originating from within. 

The twilight was replaced with the light of the rising sun. Other birds were flying between the flight stations. The silence of the early morning was soon interrupted. 

I became aware of how the silence around, bathes a person in interior silence. And in that interior silence, the bird calls ceased to be just external. There was a reciprocal tune within, felt in the interior silence. 

The silence and a singing bird became a symbol of a new consciousness. There is an experience beyond sounds and words. That experience is inner stillness. In that inner milieu, one hears the song of one's own soul.

I happened to read Psalm 35: 9 from the Bible later in the day: 'And my soul shall rejoice in the Lord...'

Such an experience is a reality, when one is made ready to feel the normal language of the soul within. 

A soulful experience prepares us for communion with God. 

As I was walking back to our cottage with other birds reaching the regular flight stations in our garden and the morning sun clothing the garden, I felt that there was a brilliance in nature! It was the radiance of the goodness of God!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Negotiating with a good intent!

One occasion when Dulcie takes time to respond, is when we call her inside, after the morning and evening walks in our garden. The picture above is the typical body posture,  indicating resistance to oblige!

If we were to say, 'biscuit', she would be instantly inside!

We avoid offering incentive as it is good for her to oblige when we give her an instruction. Often, when she takes time to oblige, if we were to carry on with our routine, she would come after us give a lick on our foot and turn to look at our face to see our response. Her tail will be stiff till we show indication of approval by stroking her. Then with wagging tail, she waits to be stroked. 

What happens after that is, what fascinates me even more. In great speed, she would run to and fro in the house as if she 'managed' to manipulate us to get what she wanted. Following this, she would 'sit at our feet' to 'make up' for her insistent behaviour. 

Even a dog has a regretful consciousness. 

The Palestinians are dying each day in Gaza. Some Israeli soldiers too died recently. In Manipur, the conflict and violence between communities continue. Yesterday a militant outfit belonging to one community took a public oath to fight even more. The Ukrainians are in terrible distress with unabated attacks from Russia. 

I feel alarmed that the leadership in these countries neither convey regret or consider corrective actions to end the conflicts. 

I came across a phrase in the Old testament of the Bible, in the book of Isaiah, chapter 9 and verse 9, '..asserting in pride and arrogance of heart..' ! Following this, the text says: 'The bricks have fallen down, but we will rebuild with smooth stones; the sycamores have been cut down, but we will replace them with cedars' !

This brought a message of hope. In every situation of distress, the door is open for rebuilding!

Dulcie was remorseful and expressed it in her own way.

When will those who oppress, harm  and dominate come to their sense of feeling the pain and loss of those whom they harm!

When will we see communities feel for each other and share bread with each other!

No matter, how humans behave to each other, there is a a message of hope in the 11 chapter of the book of Isaiah, verses 1-5. ' But with righteousness He will judge the poor, and decide with fairness for the afflicted of the earth...' The character of God is revealed in that expression,  in which we can rejoice even in the midst of despair!

We are at the threshold of another general election in India. I wish, it would be a peaceful process and the election would bring an opportunity for the revival of the democratic process, which is now in peril!

I like the way how Dulcie expresses her regret and returns to establish normal relationships!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Two types of Garden !

One morning I did an exercise of looking beyond into the fields on all sides, while standing at the edge of our garden.

The first eight phots are of sights, I noticed all around me. The shades of colours in the foliage were worth watching as the sun rose in the east. I felt I was surrounded by autumn colours during the winter months. 

The six photos below are sights nearer to our garden and of our garden. During this exercise of looking beyond and near, I got a glimpse of the realities that exist all around us. The nature is a storehouse of happenings synchronised with the rhythm of nature. The vast fields beyond, of trees and plants grow without receiving much tending.  

As against this, that the garden in our property receives attention with all they need. The garden offers flowers and fruits in due season. 

I took time to process these two realities. The fields with the trees and plants growing up on their own and our garden that receives attention and care.

Yesterday a family who called me, told me that they brought their son at three months with some neuro-developmental needs, while I was working at CMC, Vellore. That child is now 20 years old, pursuing his course in music. He went on to complete his schooling. He has had difficulties during the school years because of which the family had to change schools and relocate three times. His mother became his companion and anchor in the transitions of life. This young man spoke to me and mentioned about the care and attention he received at home because of which he is pursuing music to advance in singing and playing the musical instruments. Since I retired from, CMC, I have had no contact with the family. 

I listened to the grandmother who tearfully told me about the sense of fulfilment they have about the progress her grandson was able to make. 

The summary of their efforts, which they shared with me yesterday, to attend to the needs of this boy, inspired me about the sense of stewardship they exercised in their response to his needs. 

This boy grew up in a well tended garden of his family. 

I grieve over the fact that many children grow up in their families without receiving diligent attention and nurture. The consequence is that  children feel bereft, in spite of being surrounded by plentiful material resources. What children need is proximity to parents and the sense of emotional nearness,  it would generate to feel loved, wanted and affirmed. Instead, many homes have substituted the parenting with  gadgets, media, internet, grandparents, caregivers...!

The family is the garden of life for formation and nurture of children. 

I wish that parents would want to pursue advanced learning on parenting education and childhood formation during the transitions  their children's life !

There is a difference between children growing up on their own receiving the routines of schooling, shelter at home and the social support and in a child friendly home, where they feel nurtured with a feeling  of belonging and affirmation, offered by parents. 

M.C.Mathew (Text and photo)