Dulcie at three!

Dulcie at three is behaviourally, temperamentally and physically different at three years! She is friendly and alert!

It is a pleasure to watch her grow and relate!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Night and day!

Yesterday the mid day temperature was 40 degree celsius. But there is dew on the plants in the morning. It is the pre-summer day and the fading winter night!

The transitions and contrasts are part of our lives and environment!

It is a challenge to adjust to transitions and contrasts because it needs extra care!

Invariably, Anna or I get up to put off the fan around midnight because it is cool enough to cover ourselves!  

Whenever there is a change of any sort there is an extra demand on us! 

We welcome visitor-observers in the department where I work! They help us to understand this transition process better because they observe our patterns and  comment on them in an appreciative manner. So when we have patterns, transitions are even more difficult! However we cannot function without order or pattern in our personal, family or professionals lives. 

But allowing changes to take place is a better way than sticking to only one pattern! This gives the space for growth through new ideas and experiences!

MC..Mathew(text and photo)

The pattern of three!

When there are three buds of flowers arising from the same site of the stem of a rose plant, it seems that the central one blossoms first and the other two on either sides blossoms one after the other!

The three arise form the site, but three follow three different timings!

It is a family of flowers but there is  difference!

It is one question which parents raise during consultation! Why each child is different in a home!

It is a question without definite answers. But it is usually the pattern! It is good to accept the diversity rather force conformity upon children! 

It is  a dialogue worth pursing because parents need to move away from living with expectations to  accepting the way children express their different profiles and interests!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

The two strands !

There are two strands of its web which this insect has already created,  one at two-o-clock position  and the other at nine-o-clock position which is less visible!

Each of us creates strands of thoughts, behaviour and conduct in our personal and public life!

We occupy space that is given to us or take the space that belongs to others to express ourselves to be visible, seen or heard!

What touched me about this insect is its quiet existence and silent activity to fend for itself, all of which can be damaged in a strong wind or in drizzle!

'All is vanity' is a message we read in the book of Ecclesiastes, a book of wisdom in the Bible!

I say to myself now, 'if only I can create two strands...'!

Let us take delight tin he small things we are able to bring out from our inner repository of wellness and goodness!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Staying in Focus!

I took a while to get all the three flowers on focus. Knowing that it was not possible in that shooting mode, I reflected over it later!

The challenge I face in my life at this season to hold all things together in focus!

There are multiple events which compete for attention and response.

I find myself caught in this pressure!

I found it useful to say to myself from my recollection of the story of Mary and Martha, when Jesus of Nazareth commented seeing the pressure under which Martha was labouring, 'One thing is good enough..' for the time being. 

In letting go of the multiple situations, one can find a way back into them leisurely when needed !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Another harvest!

As I watched these farm labourers gather paddy after the harvest, the sun was almost setting! In that fifteen minutes the the it was becoming dusk!

It captivated my attention!

The labourers are drawing the day to close and ready to go home with their wages! It is a daily rhythm for them!

Whether it is the farmer of the farm labourers life is a toil...

I was returning from work that evening!

I reflected over my day... it was also in one sense a demanding day!

I paused to ask:'Did I reach out to anyone today to show mindfulness or concern for all that they do or go through in life !' That is when they invited me to go to them!

That made me get down form the car and go over to the farm labourers to have a conversation! It lifted my spirit and they too were warm!

We are needy, but others are more needy! 

What we can give away is goodness and thoughtfulness. It is a seed that shall bear fruit!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

In 24 hours!

In less than 24 hours after pruning the stalk of two rose flowers which were drooping, I noticed this morning a tender shoot sprouting from the stalk of a former flower!

I had a first  hand experience of pruning with this! 

Growth is resident within us!

Our emotional growth is volitional! We can nurture our soul to move on to new levels of experience. Growth is both widening and deepening!

It is the deepening in perception, observation, and comprehension which add richness to life!

Most of this happen at the emotional level! It is the winners wellness which makes us desire and  choose to grow into the depth of our being!

It is not what we think, feel or do alone is the whole, but why and how we do this is more seminal for one's personal depth perception.   

This journey from the superficial to the depth of our being is facilitated by meditation and practice of silence to grow Godward! That is the way of welcoming deepening of ourselves by anchoring in God!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Small creatures in our garden!

I did not go looking for them this morning!

I discovered them accidentally, thanks to the review opportunity in the camera after each shot!

Do small creatures matter!

They tell us a lot about the bio-diversity because there is still some order in life!

Let me illustrate this in the next photograph!

The queen ant is watching over tiny new born ants! Some ants find the flowers buds the home for multiplication!

The nature is a repository of balancing accts between creatures! Does this not tell us a lot about interdependence! It is when i see the butterflies flutter in our garden, I remember the role of caterpillar!

There is a lot w ego not know...to knows to grow in suspense and gratefulness for our earth!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Outer and Inner

I have been drawn towards this rose plant which produces two different colours petals. The outer petals are dark pink and the inner ones are lighter!

The buds look reddish in the outside, which turn dark pink when the flowers opens!

There is a difference between the inner and the outer!

Mr. George Verver, a speaker and writer of considerable reputation in one of his books, 'Hunger for Reality' refers to 'dichotomy' in character referring to the inconsistency between who we are inside and what we present ourselves as in the outside!

I feel that the inner and the outer do not match in human behaviour. 

I have long hours of listening when I welcome children and families. Towards the end of the day, I wander away from what parents speak to me and loose the connection of conversation. But I appear to others as keenly listening!

The dichotomy is part of our nature...but the way out George Verver mentioned in his book, is easy to practice! Acknowledge whenever we feel caught in dichotomous behaviour! 'The way out is through the way in' according to Dr Hans Buerki! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A Christmas greetings and the last two months!

I received a Christmas card from an anonymous sender, correctly addressed and posted from a place that I am familiar with. As I had a letter from an anonymous sender a month ago with angry words in a threatening tone, I knew that it was likely to be an another outburst of anger. 

Inside the card, there was an insertion with the above message. I felt shocked and took time to process this.  

It was obvious to me that it was from a person or persons who are still angry with me for some decisions taken by the governing board of an organisation of which I was part of for a while. 

During the last two months, I had time to ponder over this and the earlier letter. 

Anger is a reaction of a hurting or grieving or resentful person. Anger when expressed in a manner as it was done in this instance disturbs and unsettles a person.  I realised that I too am susceptible to similar reaction in vulnerable situations. Anger and reactive behaviour towards oneself or others is common to all of us. 

Some learn through life experiences to moderate expressions of anger and move towards reconciling anger, confessionally and relationally. 

This letter helped me to travel through life experiences when I felt anger towards myself or others. Through years of struggle to be angry when necessary but not reactive to harm myself or others with words or thoughts, I had not found the inner composure that I needed till I was helped by a senior person who knew me well enough and suggested that, "It is one thing to feel angry and yet another thing to behave angrily"!  

It is the behaviour of anger that harms us or others! Dr. Dobson's advice to parents that Anna and I found it hard to learn and practice towards our children when they were young was, "Do not interact  or punish children when you are angry. Allow time to return to the plane of a loving attitude, because it is love that heals, corrects and renews"! 

A saintly Bishop whom I know, sent a letter to one of the members of his episcopal collegium, leaving the whole page blank. There were two sentences at the bottom with his signature, "I feel angry for how you spoke about lack of governance in our mission hospitals. I shall get in touch with you to talk over this matter when I feel well". An outstanding example of turning anger into communication and dialogue!

I want to close this matter with my friend/ friends, who feel terribly angry with what I have done or not done. I am sorry for making you feel angry!Usually truth lies scattered in ambush! Let each of us be led to seek truth and freedom!

As for me,  I free myself from the above hateful words and harsh attitude in the greetings sent to me, and offer greetings of  a flower and two buds from our garden at home to the friends who sent me the greetings of anger!

Let this flower and two buds be a symbol of the possibility or prospect of openness between ourselves! When a flower is open, it brings its freshness and fragrance.  However a rose flower opens from being a bud slowly over a few days. May we give time to each other for growing in openness!

I cannot turn away from what happened because of which my friends have been made angry, but I can move on to find renewal in life!

To the anonymous sender of the greetings, I want to say, let me free you of any guilt you might feel and convey that I am on my way to feel well towards you..!

My wish for the anonymous sender and myself is that, our lives be fresh and fragrant like these two flowers and not like the stalk without flowers! Life is a gift and all of life is a formative experience to lead us to live,'justly, mercifully and faithfully'!

What has happened is history and what lies ahead is an opportunity!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Waiting for the bride and the groom!

Life is all about waiting. I noticed this group waiting in the portico of the church for the bride and the groom to arrive after the wedding service!

The children had become restless and so also the adults!

And yet there was no substitute for waiting!

Take time to wait! Waiting diligently is the way set for us in our life!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Becoming open !

The rose buds go through at least five stages before the flower is in bloom! The buds take about three weeks to become flowers, but the life of a flower is less than a week. Three times longer to become a flower than the lifetime a flower!

Those of us who live in a hurry looking for fruits of our labour, can receive a message here from the buds! Let us invest in daily living and when the time is opportune, we would have the blessings of the fruits of our labour!

Let us stay labouring in loving service!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A beatle!

The buz of a beatle woke me up from my preoccupation with the flowers and buds!

It was there only for a few seconds. But that was enough to become more present!

An interruption or a 'disturbance' is a welcome experience to lift us to another plane of mindfulness!

So welcome interruptions or intrusions, because they often bring messages!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Garden of ROSE buds

I was surprised to find this collection of buds in the photos of the week!

I have stayed focussing on the buds during the last three weeks for me to stay entered in HOPE!

I felt that I was slipping from waiting patiently!

As I go through the phots of scores of buds, exceeding hundred now, I was overwhelmed to know that each of them would be a flower in a few days!

As watch these buds in the morning and evening, this metaphor has grown within me...life is joyful waiting! It is for me to enter init its fullness!

M.C.Mathew

Protected and safe!

What is common to all rose buds is the protection they receive from all around till the petals are fully formed! 

Yesterday, while listening to two families, I was made aware of the damage children suffer when they are not protected! Both toddlers have run into serious difficulty of addiction to watching cartoons in the TV or cell phone that the parents find it difficult to wean them off this. I felt miserable seeing the crying children when the cell phones were put off during the consultation! 

Infants and toddlers need protection from exposure to visual media, because they suffer from social, language and behaviour deficits when preoccupied with the visual media. 

Infants and toddlers need the company of parents and plenty of playtime and communication experiences. The development of brain is conditioned by an all round stimulating experiences of all the different sites in all the lobes of the brain!

The visual media CANNOT replace human interaction! Children need the proximity and engagement of parents more than anything else in the early years!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

  

Pause to be surprised!

A hired walk in the garden is not enough!

This I realised even more yesterday!

While taking a picture of this flower, I had not noticed the dew on the flower! It was while editing the photo, I noticed the dew on the petals. I wish I had taken the photo in the macro mode to get a better view of the dew!

The small things in life are most special! To miss them is to miss the wide expanse of abundance all around us!

To take time and pause would be one way of becoming closer to truths beyond the what is obvious!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Web without a spider!

It is the web in between the flowers that tell us about the presence of he spider! The spider leaves behind a piece of art!

What do we leave behind when we exit a place!

When I went to the college Library yesterday, the library staff told me that there are three types of readers: one who respect the books and journals, another who use them and a third who are least careful while using them!

It helped me to think about, the memory we leave behind!

Where we exist is also the space shared by others! To leave some good memories of encouragement or greetings is a way of honouring others. 

We have a domestic helper who would keep a flower vase with freshly picked flowers on our dining table!

We cam make an offering to to others by thinking about them!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Dew is gentle on leaves and buds!

Humans ought to be gentle on others just as dew is gentle on the leaves and buds!

I wish we speak gently and caringly to others!

I wish we listen attentively and patiently to others!

I wish we speak soberly and thoughtfully of others!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)  

A surprise news!

Although Magpie Robins have been my favourite birds during photo shooting walks, it is the first time I discovered that they are indeed intelligent with a strong history of its uniqueness.

It is a small bird but smart bird!

The nature is resource of insights!

M.C.Mathew(text and poto)

Dew, Web, Buds and Bee !

There are surprises in the garden each day!

Look at this sight, dew, web, buds and a bee!

The garden is a place we can discover captivating sights! The bee feeds on the dew, the spider weaves its web, the buds grow...all these are quiet events!

Take time to take in scenes and sights...they nurture our inner wellness!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Visiting birds!

This is a season when we normally get visiting birds in our garden! 

We have sighted a few ones recently. Some birds stay on for a few days!

It is common to have the male birds arrive first. It is the bird song that help us to look for the new bird that has arrived!

It is not easy to photograph a bird initially. Some birds get disturbed even by the shutter sound of the camera. 

If we can let a bird feel welcome then usually it would stay on! I wish some of them would nest in the garden, which has happened only occasionally! 

I have watched some birds becoming a pair and that is a delight to watch! 

There is always something that happens quietly...it is left to us to take note of it! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

First fruit!

Sasi, our gardener working with us for five years now planted a sapling and watched this fruit to reach its ripening stage. It was a delight for him and for us to harvest the first fruit!

During this three months since the the fruit first appeared in the plant, Sasi almost every day watched it grow! 

Some things in nature tell us a lot about the way we can review our thinking!

Only if we plant we can harvest!

The sowing is a seed beginning! Then follows all the tending and caring!

We have three grand children and their parents with us now. We watch with delight how parents sow the seeds of good habits and practices in their lives with diligence and attention!   

 Small acts of of thoughtfulness are seeds that would grow..!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The twilight and thereafter!

The difference in the way flowers and leaves received hues of colours from the dawn to ten minutes later spoke to me about the shades of opinion we come across on a subject matter. 

The opinions are just perceptions of reality!

The difference of opinions are different ways of looking at facts and realities. 

In my involvement with people in the recent months I have come across this in a striking way. The subjectivity on matters is a strong influence on all of us. How refreshing it would be if we can receive the opinion of others as a means of throwing more light on the matter! 

There is more to the truth than we ourselves perceive. Hence we need others to lead us to the whole truth!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A hiding place!

A beetle has found its hiding place!

A hiding palce is a place for in between times!

The in between times when we need time to say "farewell" to what has been going on and to prepare ourselves to "welcome" the next experience. 

The hiding place is a place of quietness and composure to listen to ourselves and to feel the resonance of the experience within our inner space!

Our inner space is a sacred place of awareness about ourselves and the realities around us! 

Those who live their lives with a faith orientation would turn this time also for prayer- communication with God of our lives in silence and surrender!

There is hurry and agitation we might feel sometimes--- it is when such a hiding place can become a provider of inner resource!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Two scenes!

A photo for meditation!

The bud and flower are twins!

The flower is drooping and the bud is looking up!

Is that not our story too!

There are times when we are down and out; but even then there is something within us which is alive and ready to break forth!

We are given this eternal spring of hope within us- there is something more still resilient within us even when trapped in despair!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Unready for shooting!

I do not think I have a crisp photo of a honey sucker as yet! You hardly get the bird to settle to get ready for shooting with your camera. I was not ready with a telephoto lens this time also. 

But, leaving apart the technical aspect of photography what struck me while sighting the one sucker in our garden was its flying behaviour! It takes off in a fluttering hurry! It enjoys its flying it looks like!

One needs patience to watch birds, even more when the bird disappears form your sight in a flash!

It appears and disappears in no time!

It is a good illustration of transitions!

Changes and transitions can be ultrashort!

It calls for vigilance and readiness!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Nature's Gifts!

Everything in nature is beautiful when we pause and reflect!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Count and get it wrong!

I count the buds in the plants almost every morning for the last three weeks as an exercise of curiosity! Even between morning and evening, I have not got the same number. 

The reason, by the evening or the next morning, few more buds appear which earlier looked to be just tender leaves!

The buds are likely to be missed because they are tiny or cannot be seen!

Think of life from its formation in a mother's womb! From one cell to four and it goes on...all the beginnings are small, but they are significant!

The significance of life is not when it appears visible! it is significant even in its small stages! 

This is capturing my attention in a new level of consciousness of late. 

In every human being there is some goodness... I feel it is important to look for that goodness and allow that to flourish!

One of the prison reforming activities is to engage the prisoners for finding their worth. Some prisons have outlets for sale of produce they make with their hands or generate from the garden! It has become a big source of income in some prisons for modernising the prisons!

There abides goodness in plenty.. Find and nurture them!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Accompaniment!

Most rose flowers in our garden have buds in the offing!

The buds accompany the flowers in the plant!

It is the older who accompanies the younger normally! Bu here it is the opposite.

The flowers represent a family of leaves, buds and other flowers!

There is a cohesion and convergence which spring from this togetherness.

It is in their togetherness a rose plant is complete.

The young ones bring hope for the future and the flowers are like the forerunners announcing how the buds would be when they become flowers!

Accompaniment is therefore a two way process- one who accompanies and the ones accompanied together make the the relationships wholesome!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)