After twelve hours of the rain fall, at the following day break, I felt surprised and curious with the sight of water drops on leaves and fruits in our garden. What a phenomenon of attachment!
The surface of leaves and fruit receive the water and retain them for long hours.
I have been listening to families on phone recently about their parenting initiatives and explorations. The families engaged in home schooling of their children have an experience of growing intimacy in relationship and trust with their children.
The leaves and fruits have an affinity for water. The water drops rest on those surfaces unless force of gravity or a blowing wind displaces them. The water drops stay on surviving those disturbances.
Is there a drift in parenting style? Are more children left to fend for themselves from early childhood with reduced meal time conversations, bed time stories, interactive play times, guided nature walks, structured conversations, or planned instructions and conversation times?
A father regretfully told me this. His habit of reading the news paper in the morning with a cup coffee coincided with his son getting up in the morning. His son would come to him with a toy and he would feel interrupted while reading the newspaper. He ignored him or forced him to go away! On one morning, the boy pulled away the newspaper and sat on his lap! The boy embraced him and wanted to be held!
That was an experience which brought a new consciousness in this father.
The traction of a young child is towards his or her parents. This is what we refer to as attachment behaviour! It is the foundation for the emotional development of a pre-school child. A child who was used to be carried till about nine months, having moved on to crawling, sitting, standing, walking, running, from the age of nine months lives with a void of physical contact with the parents. The only way a parent can draw a child to oneself, who is moving away to be independent is by creating times with the child in play and conversation to maintain this inward intimacy essential for a child to feel secure and a parent to feel fulfilled !
What we give to our children through times of interactions would stay on to help children to feel rooted with a sense of belonging.
Our children are likely to be distracted by the gadgetry around them. Initially they become a means for entertainment, later they entice a pre-school child to be dependent on them.
I was appalled to find that children insist on having a smart phone by the time they are about six years. A teacher teaching children in the first standard, told me that ten children out of thirty children in the class had a smart phone. She has a cupboard now for children to keep the phones safe. She told me that most of the parents do not use the child lock to prevent children from indiscreetly surfing the internet! We seem to be in serious trouble with parents not being thoughtful enough!
The primacy of attachment in family life between parents and children need greater attention and protection. The conversation times, play times and engaging times are as essential to nurture them through childhood.
The surfaces of leaves and fruits have a traction towards water drops!
I wish parents would have more natural traction towards their children to make the attachment process intimate and interdependent!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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