The readiness levels!

What birds reveal from their different body postures are interesting to watch and instructional in nature!

There are some spots in our garden where Kingfishers can be spotted on most mornings. I took time to watch and capture the body movements of the Kingfisher and connect them with the other avian movements around!

I noticed that there was a difference in the way the Kingfisher adapted to the bird calls and the avian movements. 

The last photo in this post gave me a clue to the most attentive posture of the body!

This level of attentiveness was only for a short time; however it was most appropriate to the context. The Kingfisher took notice of movements of some waterbirds in the vicinity. 

I remember how the day spanned out for me yesterday during the time of a day long consultations. I began with a sense of heightened presence and awareness! The listening level declined during the middle of the day and I needed to take a break to walk for a short while to return to a more alert level. 

During this walk, I pondered over the issue of listening fatigue! It was when I was touched by a story line that had a correspondence with my experience, I got distracted to engage with my inward thoughts. The second reason for moving away from listening presence was when I felt compelled to make a response or a comment! A third reason for the decline in openness to listen was when I felt disturbed by the casualness with which a parent took note of the challenges faced by the child. The list of reasons for distraction from being fully present to listen was longer!

Let me share five levels of listening from my experiences.

The first level is orientation to what is spoken. It takes a while to tune in to listen as our inward readiness has to be drawn towards what is being spoken by the person who is calling for our attention. That is the first barrier to overcome. If the issue that is spoken does not interest the listener, it would take a few minutes to become attentive!

The second level is to listen without interrupting or forming opinions. The neutrality of mind is a pre-requisite at this stage. However unreasonable the person might be, in engaging the situation, it is important for allowing that person to complete his or her story line. Listening would mean being attentive to the person, rather than only listening to what he or she might be saying. 

The third level of listening is to travel consciously to the feeling level to take in the emotional level of the person who is speaking. It is only by receiving this state of the person who is sharing his or her story, we can become closer to the person to empathise and relate at a deeper level. Often giving a feed back of attempting to understand is the only response that might be possible!

The fourth level is to prepare to draw the conversation to a close at an appropriate time. Any listening for more than twenty minutes can be difficult to sustain, as distractions would set in! The temptation to prolong the conversation especially if it is intense, is to be overcome by knowing that processing of the story is important to proceed further by understanding the issues involved. 

The fifth level is the feed back to the person who was sharing his or her story! Often it is wise to turn it into a question for the person to dwell on, rather than turn the closure to become demanding on the person by an expectation. 

A personal debriefing is necessary after a listening exercise! Often the listener might have been stirred or disturbed by what one was made to hear! It is important to pay attention to this inwardly by moving away from that mood to return to the quieter inner ambience to stay centred and be fully present to the next event about to take place. 

A style of living diligently is a habit that is often difficult to cultivate. However to live above the turbulence caused by the  events around us, one needs an orientation and reminder of the peaceful inner ambience we are gifted with! 

I have a picture in the room, where I welcome families, to which I turn to in between to reinforce my attentive presence! Some people have a burning candle in the centre during a counselling session. Some others take silence of a minute or so in between the conversation, by stopping the conversation to return to a heightened level of awareness of each other. 

To live by being present to our context is one way of making our work fulfilling and refreshing!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)