One of the most dependable family support systems, I have discovered after coming to stay in Kerala ten months back, is the extent of involvement of the grandparents to help in bringing up children. Most grandparents look forward to have an opportunity to be actively involved in the care and nurture of children when they are young.
One custom which is popular in this culture is that, the grandparents almost take charge of all the care needs of babies in the hope of giving the mother time to recover from the demands of months of pregnancy and childbirth. Most mothers value this help and would even return to full time work early if this support is comfortable for the baby.
One difficulty I have noticed is the conflict between care and parenting responsibilities. One of the parenting responsibilities is to bring a sense of conditioned behaviour in infants. This is made possible by introducing many good practices to infants from the three months of age onwards. Mothers who used to sing to their babies or read picture based books or spend time playing with toys or on nature walk or engage in make belief play have confessed to me that those times created bonding with their babies, and opportunities to know their temperament and modify it when needed.
Some of the mothers who did not have such an opportunity or ignored its value have an amnesia of the early months of their children. A few have confessed that, may be it is the reason that some parents are not close emotionally to a child whose infancy was interrupted by multiple care givers.
There are now provisions in the government and some futuristic organisations to let fathers and mothers have options for long leave from work to be with their children. Some who have used it have mentioned to me of its utmost value.
Children are our inheritors. The best we can leave for them is happy memories of parental nearness and presence, when they were young.
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