Flowers and Candles!

The first visit to the Kew Royal Botanical gardens in 1983 and a visit to the Botanical garden in Ooty the same year, planted an interest in flowers to go beyond the initial impression of their colour,  aroma and aesthetic value. A flower since then has been a symbol of life to me. From the time the earliest sign of a bud appears in a plant and the petals of a flower fall off to join the soil, its journey is a metaphor of life itself, from conception to final departure by burying the mortal remains in the soil, when life became breathless at death.

The candles became another metaphor of life for me a few years later. It happened while attending a retreat. The retreat leader would light the candle at the beginning of each session. He introduced the candle to be a metaphor of our life. God lights ours soul with His presence because of which we can shine to give light to others!  

It was out of these experiences, Anna and I have started having vases with flowers from our garden in our drawing room and lighted candle at the meal times. 

Both these refer to the gift of life, during which we are called to live self givingly. The flower offers fragrance and nectar and the candle gives light and warmth! 

Now that both Anna and I have crossed our mid seventies, our longing is to live our lives with a giving heart!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

The stressed birds in our garden!

 

A Pond Heron and a Little Egret in a nutmeg tree in our garden! It is likely that the Little Egret might be in its breeding season as there is a brown streak of plumage on its neck. 

To find water birds on a tree in a dry land is indeed unusual, therefore a special sight !

The wetland below our garden beside a stream has been now converted into a rubber nursery, which displaced these water birds to other areas. It is therefore not common to see these birds in our garden!

There are birds coming  to our garden in search of water!

I wonder if birds feel stressed on account of their natural habitats getting diminished by unmindful development projects! 

When we have flock of birds at the feeding station for most of the day, it might indicate that they are also in search of food !

I wondered whether birds find the environmental changes threatening to their normal habitat!

We read about bad quality of air in Delhi, mostly human made ! The Cochi town had thick fog yesterday, which is unusual!

It is a wake up call about human behaviour towards the environment! 

Are we responsible stewards of our environment to keep it healthy for all?

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Recollections of refreshing times!

The three clusters of rose buds in our garden would be rose flowers soon all being well!

A garden is a symbol of hope! 

I walk through our garden twice a day to receive this message of hope!

Such a walk refreshes me with recollections of situations in life when amidst difficulties or turmoils, hope was restored by acts of kindness from others. 

I felt surprised by the presence of a Sunbird in the foliage of a tree. They are normally perched near bushes with flowers to gather nectar. 

The sunbird became another symbol of experiences of surprises at critical times. 

Anna and I took time recently to revisit the year 2025, which is drawing to a close. This time to recollect acts of kindnesses and surprises we received, refreshed and renewed us. 

Life, when lived with recollections and pleasant memories, brings renewed hope and trust to face the unknown of tomorrow!

The dew drops on the buds in the third photo above, became another symbol of small but significant experiences in the year 2025, which brought refreshing times !

M.C.Mathew( text and photo)

The social intent of bird calls!

 

It was while observing one cycle of feeding of a Bulbul, at day break in the feeding station, I noticed the similar process it follows in each cycle. 

The decision to choose the amount of the pulp each time it pecks the banana fruit caught my attention. It is a measured amount each time to make the swallowing easy. 

This habit of choosing the little that it can swallow, has been a matter of my study, while watching birds at the feeding station!

Among the different species of birds and about hundred birds visiting the feeding station each day, Bulbuls are the regular visitors who return to feed five or six times during the day. Its routine is to feed, sip water and fly away with repeated bird calls. They return to feed when the feeding station is not crowded with other birds. They wait on the Rambutan tree next to the feeding station and make repeated bird calls, if there is no food at the feeding station. They wait till we place food in the feeding bowls. 

They are therefore making a social connection with us. Their chirps in between the feeding cycles are different from the bird calls when they arrive or leave. Those short and subdued chirps in between the feeding cycles convey some message! There are a few Bulbuls who are regular visitors. They are familiar with our cottage. Two of hem would come to the door and chirp looking at us. The tone and tune of those chirps are similar to the chirps in between the feeding cycles. 

So I wonder, whether they are messages of social and relational intent! 

As I do not notice similar behaviour in other species of birds, I feel inclined to think that the Bulbuls communicate a social intent!

What might be the avian social intent!

The red whiskered Bulbul birds are known to have some special features. Both male and female birds participate in building the nest, parenting of fledglings, and remaining as permanent partners. They are usually residents in gardens, adjacent to human habitations. They are therefore socially knit for contacts with humans. 

The Magpie robin and red whiskered Bulbul have a similar habit in the morning hours. They reach the top of tall trees and tunefully engage in bird calls ! This is attributed to their social intent !

Birds are messengers!

The Bulbuls send out a message each day through their bird calls, gestures of social connect !

The political climate in India is to classify people on the basis of ethnicity, religion and castes. The discriminating social affinity is eroding our humaneness. 

I find a message of a call for social harmony in the bird calls !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

 

Giving before fading out!

When I visited to say farewell to these rose flowers in our garden after having given us a refreshing sight for about ten days, I noticed that two stems have new shoots sprouting. That was a surprise sight! 

The flowers were looking dry, bleached and would fall off shortly. But the stems that bore them had more to offer! Perhaps more buds and flowers! 

For me, it was a sight unusual and therefore special! The first photo was taken about five days ago and the second one was of today's. Although I visited the flowers every day, the new shoots caught my attention only today. The fact they were not there in the first photo, would suggest that the new shoots have sprouted since then ! 

We live in a climate where 'taking' is the current language that the president of the USA advocates and practices. The president is threatening to take oil and rare earths from Venezuela, a sovereign country, by force ! The UNO is mutely present with no indication of concern or corrective action! 

In such a 'taking' temperament that goes unchecked, here is a plant giving away more shoots in the stems which bore flowers. 

The plant knows only the language of 'giving' ! It receives to give! 

I pause and ponder !

Where else do we see this highest form of self giving except in nature! 

I prune the rose bush. Around the pruned sights multiple shoots sprout to bear buds and flowers!

The plant bears the hurt and bounces back to giving!

I remember meeting a person who is living with cancer ! Hearing him talk about the different ways he involves each day to help and support others moved me. He spoke about his illness and the daily experiences soberly, hopefully and humorously. During his in between silences, I knew he was processing his experiences. I heard from others who visit him, of having similar experience of being refreshed by his thoughts and words. 

Giving is a vocation!

It resounds within me because it is inspirational and inviting!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

     

From dominant presence to enabling presence !

Watching any bird feed is an informational exercise  to know the habit of a bird. 

This Barbet is one of the birds who regularly visit the feeding station in our garden around the same time each day in the morning. Like most birds, before the flight movements start for  the day, the birds have their first feed in our garden. 

The Barbet above takes a leisurely path to its feeding. It dominates the feeding table during its feeding time, with other birds waiting to arrive only after Barbet leaves the feeding table. 

The barbets are used to solo feeding!

The dominant presence!

As against this there are birds who practice enabling presence for other birds!

The Myna birds allow Bulbuls to feed along with them!

I recollect these two behaviour patterns in humans- Dominant presences versus Enabling presence !

On social occasions, there are are those who by the virtue of their position, age or habit dominate conversations and control the situation to their advantage. They relate to those with whom they are comfortable. They choose to relate with people who add to their significance or visibility. 

There are some others who seek to be more sociable, fraternal and cordial to all, taking care to make even those who are less sociable to feel comfortable. They create an ambience of acceptance and communication so that everyone feels connected. 

I have noticed this contrasting behaviour style on any occasions!

The dominant presence is an acquired habit, often practiced to promote oneself. The enabling presence is a mindful behaviour taking into consideration the needs of others to make everyone feel inclusive.  

I have noticed this in academic circles, where people form 'affinity groups' in order to promote, control and enforce an opinion. A cardiovascular surgeon told me how twenty five years ago, when arterial grafts began to be used during a beating heart surgery, instead of venous grafts for coronary re-vascularisation, the advocates of venous grafts still using heart-lung machine trivialised the advantage of arterial grafts and beating heart surgery.  Later, the shift towards arterial grafts and beating surgery became the gold standard. I got to know from this surgeon how some of them proactively became enablers for some cardiac surgeons to shift towards using arterial grafts and beating heart surgery. Even then the protagonists of venous graft use remained loud, protesting with a dominant opinion. 

I remember many enablers in my professional journey. It was Professor Mrs S.S. Deshmukh who introduced me, during my post graduate truing in child health, to the habit of listening to the tone of cry of infants and toddlers when they are ill to suspect the cause. It was professor Velmurgendran who introduced to me to look for the neural causal pathway in every child with neuro-developmental dysfunction, which changed my clinical outlook. I feel grateful to parents of developmentally challenged children for initiating me into the habit of listening and observing rather than forming an opinion based on the first impressions! They opened to me the advantage of pursuing an enquiry pathway which involved revising opinions dynamically!

Most of us have become, who we are, because of many enablers in our lives. 

That is a different way of being! From a dominant way to an enabling way!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

 

 

From seeing to knowing!

While watching these lilies, I realised that one cannot have a full view of each flower by looking at them from one site. One has to move around to see each flower as they face different directions. 

This raised a question in my thoughts: how often I form an impression about a person or an event without an all round view of the situation!

The flowers make their self disclosure. It is for the beholder to receive and feel refreshed. But we need to move around the plant to have a good view of each flower. 

It is the one sided view which gives us an incomplete picture of a situation or a thought or an idea or a person. 

I felt encouraged by this insight !

To be patient and observant before forming an impression!

Anna and I spend most of our time writing during the day. What we come across is how people whom we have known over the years have lived their lives pursuing a call, different from what we knew of them in their earlier years! The goodness resident in them needed time to become manifest. Life is always evolving and changing! 

It is a learning experience to be open to know people as they are becoming! This calls for revising our impressions by being patient to know more about a person and feel touched by their acts of kindness!

This is a journey from seeing to knowing! To know and to be known is the purpose of any mutual relationship! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Hope and light in darkness !

The sights of these flower buds waiting to open reminded me of. a passage in the Bible, in the ebook of Isiah, who prophesied about the light that was to come enlighten  people who lived in darkness: 

"The people who walk in darkness will see a great light, Those who live in dark land, The light will shine on them" (I saith:9:2).

In the gospel of Matthew, there is narration in chapter 4: 12-17, referring to the text above, when Jesus of Nazareth, heard about the news of imprisonment of John the Baptist, Jesus left Nazareth, and settled in Capernaum, which was by the sea, from where He started his public engagements and discourses, announcing the good news of God's love that pardons, heals and offers new life!

The buds shall open and become a flower! Till then the bud is a mystery and not a delight to behold. 

The flower brings colour, fragrance and fullness in the garden. 

The advent candles that Anna lights each Sunday in our home, brings the message of Christmas- Hope, Faith, Peace and Joy and the central one representing the candle to be lit on the Christmas day, remembering the birth of Jesus. 

We encounter darkness of all sorts in our personal and corporate lives. A new bar that started in our village is located on the main road, only about 100 meters away from a church and two hundred meters from two schools, has a flow of visitors from morning till it closes at eight pm. The watchmen at the bar told me that 150 people come every day, mostly young people, more than half of them are daily visitors. I thought of the interior darkness that fills the lives of those who come, and the darkness they bring to their homes, family life and their children! The health distress and the economies stress that they suffer on account of this darkness in their lives made me think! It is an addictive practice to sedate their disturbed mind!

If only there was more proactive plan in every neighbourhood to care for people that they do not slip into alcohol dependence!

The alcohol anonymous group in our locality has a home visit programme to befriend people who are slipping into alcohol dependence ! 

I referred to one darkness above, The darkness of different nature and impact prevail all around us. 

The buds in the rose bush bring hope, the candle when lit brings light, both suggesting that we live among people whose darkness needs attention and response! 

The mission of life is to bring hope and light around us!

M.C.Mathew( text and photo)

The rhythm and ritual in a garden.

The buds, flowers and bird movements are the norms in a garden. It happens each day in all seasons of the year. 

It occurred to me yesterday, how much I am present to others in the orbit of my contacts.

It was while listening to the ups and downs of a family who have health related challenges and job related stress, I had a closer view of the disturbed rhythm in that life family. It was an occasion to feel sensitised about the rhythm we are called to live-mindfully of others. 

The buds, flowers and birds make a garden a place of hospitality! It is when we create space and attention for others, we become neighbours to others. 

The news of a family who lost their adult son in an accident at sea and a senior friend who is now in residential care after a stroke, disturbed Anna and me this week, as we have had regular contacts with these two families for several years. 

Anna's school friend who visited us from the United States of America, during this week brought news of people feeling displaced from their comfort level by the short sighted and partisan views of the current president of the USA towards the immigrants resident in the USA for years! 

I heard the member of parliament from Manipur speaking sorrowfully in the Parliament, about how the ethnic violence in that state left hundreds homeless and children having had to discontinue schooling. He was helplessly calling the attention of the central government to intervene.

The rhythm and ritual of life was to live neighbour friendly! But I wonder if leaderships of some nations are carried away by their own prospects and prosperity! I feel that parents too get preoccupied by their own pursuit and prospects that children get displaced from their orbit of attention!

The nature still follows its rhythm and rituals of being present to bring their gifts for us. I suspect that humans seek more for themselves and less and less for the welfare of their neighbours!

The Christmas is a season of giving and remembering others!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Birds, Spider and Flowers

 

The garden around our cottage is in its scenic confluence at this time of the year. The weather too is favourable for plant life. The gathering of birds in the feeding station adds to the variety in the garden!

The serene silence of the garden and the reciprocal bird calls provide a good contrasting experience. 

The silence and the refreshing interruption !

It is when one can be silent inwardly, the sounds can reach us fully in their myriads of meaning. 

The silence prepares the soul to receive the sounds and calls of birds to receive an awakening message. 

The feeding station is becoming a place of comfort for birds. The birds do  not chase away new visitors. There is a communal harmony. 

The political world is in turmoil globally. The human language used by the political leadership is of suspicion and division. The language of nature is wellness, fullness and cohesion. 

The news in the media is one of many disappointments; but the garden is a reminder of new life, growth, giving, caring and flourishing! 

The garden is announcing the message of Christmas season- a Giving God became present in human form at Bethlehem ! 

What the birth of Jesus of Nazareth borought to the shepherds while watching over there flock was a good news of peace, goodwill and glad tidings! 

But this good news evade the attention of many on earth. The recent gruesome acts of two gunmen in the Sydney beach, killing holidayers and Jews who gathered for the celebration of Holy Week, tells us that we still are far away from being and living as a relational  human family. There are those who are hurt, wounded and angry among us, for whom violence is the pathway to react or retaliate!

This calls for good news bearers to he more proactive in the mission St Francis of Assisi, who prayed:

" Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where  there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

where there is sadness, joy.

O divine master, grant that I may not so much seek, 

to be consoled as much as to console,

to be understood as to understand,

to be loved as to love,

For it is in giving we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying we are born to eternal life".

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)