Knowing your child- 21

The above three juvenile birds have often been in our garden, accompanied by one of the parent birds initially. 

Now I find these birds in similar places where they were found together with one of the parent birds, even after about six weeks since the earlier visits. 

They got used to the routines,  rituals and rhythm that they were introduced to!

I have observed the effects of routines, rituals and rhythm in some homes. Let me comment about the meal time practices. 

In one home an infant is fed by a parent or a domestic helper by seating the infant before the TV screen with cartoon playing. 

In another home, the infant is fed by a parent or a helper by following the infant all over the house. The infant is in pursuit of his wandering, opening the mouth to receive the food as and when he or she feels like. 

In one other home, the infant gets force fed which becomes a struggle for the parent and the infant, making the feeding time a stressful time. 

I noticed in other instance, when the mother sits face to face with the infant on a chair and feed while singing to the infant or telling about what is in the orbit of the child visually. 

There is a yet another feeding practice I notice where the infant is seated at the dining table in a high chair during the meal times  and infant is served a small helping on a plate with a spoon. The family has conversations in which the infant can participate by paying attention as it is about the dog or cat at home or the food itself or about the next game that the infant would be offered to play. The infant spills the food, uses both hands to feed and smears food on the face and clothes and the chair. None of these is matter of concern for parents. The meal time is made pleasant by one of the parents even singing or everyone going into an action song or a nursery rhyme that the infant is familiar with. One of the parents offered water in between to the infant. 

Having observed these five routines practiced at meal times while feeding infants or toddlers, I realise that there can be a variety of practices that parents follow with regard to introducing  rituals, routines and rhythm to infants and toddlers! 

The effect of  healthy infant friendly practice at meal time resulted in a toddler sitting with the family at the dining table feeding himself, although he took longer time than others. One of the siblings or parents waited for the toddler to finish ratter than feed him. 

I get more and more clear about child development practices as I take time to revise the experiences of the forty years of having been engaged with parents and children in my clinical work. 

A pre-school child behaves in the way that he or she has been introduced to rituals, routines and rhythm at home!

A ritual for a pre-school child is the way an experience has been introduced to the child to find pleasure in and feel comfortable to pursue that pattern.

A routine is a set of practices that an infant or a toddler needs to learn to do on his or her own like brushing the teeth, or using the toilet or playing interactively.  

A rhythm is the way any new activity is introduced to a toddler, making it easy for the child to participate without feeling the force of any sort. A child takes time to develop his or her way of doing sometimes different from what was expected.  Even that is good enough to engage the child further, to negotiate in creating a rhythm that suits the child. 

I felt fascinated by the way the parent birds introduce a ritual, routine and rhythm to the nesting, fledgling and a juvenile bird!

I wish human parenting practices are focussed on the infant, toddler and a pre-school child and his her inclinations rather than based on the convenience and comfort of parents! 

Parenting is all about being child centred, child friendly and child honouring!

In the wisdom literature of Proverbs in the Bible, there is a statement which comes to my mind:' Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart form it' ( Proverbs 22 :6 ).

When I listen to parenting stress with regard to relating to pre-school or middle aged children, I wonder whether gaps in parenting practices would be a factor which needs attention! 

A child is being formed by healthy formatting influences. The home and parenting environment offer the formative expereince !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)