Knowing your child- 20

The Orchid above in our garden, has the protection of a bush over it that its flowers have been protected from the heavy rain fall in the last two weeks. The flowers remain elegant and colourful.

The rose flowers below look dull and soaked in rain water. They remain exposed to the rain fall and wind unprotected. And yet, the flowers look colourful. They have a resilient nature!

This contrast between the flowers which were protected and the flowers exposed to the variable weather, held my attention. 

As a health care professional I encountered this as a reality while engaged with children and parents. 

I came across parents who had a natural inclination to give utmost attention to their children and support them in their formative years by making adjustments to their career path for the sake of children. 

I have also encountered parents, who sought after their own career path and left children to grow up facing the ups and downs of childhood mostly by themselves. 

When I look back, I notice children following two paths. The children who felt protected and anchored in their families faced the teenage transitions confidently and valiantly. The other group of children who grew up mostly on their own without the sense of rootedness in their families wandered and drifted during the teenage years. 

There is something more, good parenting practices add to children in the growing up years, which make children feel supported during their transition experiences. I want to suggest that it is the self-regard with which children grow up which makes them value life and choose to live honourably! When children feel valued at home and honourably taken care of, they have an inner awareness of who they are and whose they are!

That self-worth is the foundation on which children build their teenage and adult transitions. 

There are times when children would need the protection like the orchid above. The early childhood is such a season in the lives of children. 

Subsequently, from mid childhood onwards, they are like the rose flowers who are exposed to the heavy rain fall, and yet thriving  in spite of  the prolonged wet spell. The adolescent transitions become less stormy and more predictable when the early childhood experiences at home made them resilient and enabled. 

I wish parents would give greater attention to children during the pre-teen years for children to feel attached to the home and relational to parents! The sense of belonging is a subconscious anchor that children would hold on to when pressure mounts on them! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)