Anna planted a sapling of Bauhinia a year back in our garden, which is now a bush. It is a colourful decoration in the front area of our garden.
I took some photographs of the plant with an intention to get a distant and proximate views of the flowers.
A flower has a a diffuse appearance with none of its details identifiable from a distant view. As I came closer, the details of colour, texture, designs on the petals and the decorative presence of the water drops made the flower more complete and visually adorable.
I stayed surprised and delighted while viewing the flower close. I could capture the details of the flower in the close up shots with a macro lens.
This took me back to the ways of forming impressions on many matters. One can form impressions with limited information or superficial perspectives.
A press reporter interviewed a person about the aggressive position of Israel in the war zone. He surprised the press reporter with details of how a member of his family in Tel Aviv spends time in the underground bunkers, each time he hears the siren, sometimes two to three hours on each occasion. He has lived with fear of the apartment being damaged in bombing for the last six months. The conversation was so moving that the press reporter held the man close to him to bring some comfort!
A doctor while visiting the peripheral clinic in a rural area, noticed a woman with a tumour on her face, living with a disfigured face and finding breathing difficult. She did not have resources to go to a hospital. The hospital team made arrangements for the surgery to be done and the woman is back to her normal life in the village. She had to live isolated from people for two years because of disfigurement the tumour caused to her face. A close encounter and the favourable outcome for a woman!
A friend told me that an attender who was prompt in coming to work and diligent to carry out his responsibilities, kept coming late and working a half heartedly. He was corrected, reprimanded and made to take leave when he came too late for work. One of the senior doctors made a surprise visit to his home. That shocked the doctor. Since his wife was looking after her ailing mother and was away from home for two months, it was he who was looking after all the chores at home and getting his two children ready to go to school. That changed the perspective towards the attendant who was thought to be irresponsible.
I find that I too am prone to make my impressions on some matters without gathering details or verifying facts. I had not guessed that the domestic quarrel that was pushing a person I know, to alcohol habit, which made the domestic situation worse. It look a lot of enquiry and patient conversations which led me to capture the long unsettled matters which strained the couple's relationship. Since they started to talk to the presbyter of the church on this matter, there is a respite in sight.
It is only when we draw close to each other as spouses, we get to experience a depth in relationship which was evasive in the past. It is when we take a keen interest in our children and get to know the ups and downs they face, we get to recognise the stress they carry and become their companions instead of being nagging critics.
This applies to work place situations. It is when we draw close to others we get a window into their lives and can become their support.
The appreciative approach to any situation becomes possible only when we can draw close to people and situations. It is a disservice to stay distant and approach or negotiate situations based on a distant view.
In my recent involvements with few people, I noticed this even more. When a person is not consistent in staying in touch, it can be due to difficulties which drown a person. It is by offering to be patient and considerate, one can help that person to find the way forward.
Drawing near to people gives us a more appreciative orientation towards them.
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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