The bird family!

I watched two Bulbuls coming to share moments of still presence with each other. Is it the beginning of courtship!

The loud bird calls of a Loten's sunbird made another Sunbird come to be perched in the next tree. Another likely courtship!

There are single birds who too engage in bird calls, looking out for their companions. 

As I watch these bird behaviours each day, I feel that there is a new life in the garden with different birds engaging in bird calls throughout the day, unlike a few months ago, when they used the garden only as a flight station. 

Now is the time to look out for nests in the foliage. 

Anna and I feel glad for more birds using our garden. To have the garden for birds is a delightful experience. That creates a social familiarity which would make birds more comfortable. 

We loo forward to see our garden becoming a home for more species of birds

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Single Bulbuls!

 

This season is the mating time for the common birds in our garden. I  see now more birds in pairs moving between their flight stations. Some Bulbuls who come to the feeding station regularly come as pairs. 

There are some Bulbuls who move about alone. I noticed three behaviours in such single Bulbuls. 

The first photograph above of a Bulbul represents the mood and behaviour. I find some Bulbuls perched in a stooped position with no communicative intent or body behaviour to get noticed. 

Some other Bulbuls who are familiar with us come to the courtyard and perch in the cable and give away bird calls. I observe them to be looking at me and pausing for photographs. I guess the time of the visits of some Bulbuls at this flight station and look out for them. They make some bird calls and when I noticed them enough they fly away.

A third behaviour of single Bulbul birds is to look for a tall perching  site and stay there giving away their bird calls loud and long, sometimes even for ten minutes. They are tuneful calls like what it would be when a bird is calling for mating!

I understand that some birds remain permanently as pairs and some form pairs during the season and some others remain single!

My thoughts of late, have been with single people. A friend of ours who is in his eighties now, bid farewell to his wife ten years ago following a chronic illness. This friend well until now and living alone  in an apartment near to his two sons, had a stroke and has been convalescing for a while. He is not socially interactive now. 

Another friend who lost her spouse has lived well inspite of the drain and weariness that she felt on some occasions. She felt surrounded by friends and felt supported. 

I took time to remember all the single people who have remained unmarried or lost their spouse suddenly due to accidents or short illnesses or those who moved on due to age related situations. I find most of them wishing for more support and social contacts. 

I tried recollecting if I heard any sermon on attending to the needs of single people in the congregation. Rev. Peter Miller when he was the vicar of the St Andrew's church and later St George's at Chennai took an interest to look out for people who were single in the congregation or in the neighbourhood. In fact he arranged for them to be picked up for fellowship meals he arranged. There was a roaster he had for elderly single people to be picked up to come for the Sunday service and taken back home after the service. 

I know of some elderly people who are home bound, who wait for someone to come to visit them. 

If a person is single because his or her spouse moved on young with young children to take care of, the needs of such people are compounded. 

Seeing the behaviour of three Bulbuls, I was reminded of the attitude and behaviour in three of them. One Bulbul looked down cast, another Bulbul looks for socialising opportunities and the third Bulbul is alive and communicating. 

I find similar behaviours in the single people I know of!

The Bulbuls reminded me of the thoughtful ways Anna and I can get more associated with the single people we know. They having endured grief have an experience to enrich others!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

From One to Four !

 

Our garden has early avian visitors, sometimes at day break. The visibility was poor a few days ago at day break with a cloudy sky. I happened to notice movement of leaves in the tree in the front area of our garden. 

I noticed a White- rumped Munia perched in the intersection of slender branches. It moved to be perched in a slender branch bare of any foliage. It started its bird calls, which was just audible in the silence of day break. A few minutes later another Munia joined it on the branch. The two became three and in the last photo a fourth Munia is just visible perched in a branch below. It was just one Munia that was engaged in the bird calls and it could gather three others  to its fold. 

I remembered the book, The Tipping Point by Malcom Gladwell, which was an international bestseller book at one time.  In that book, first published in 2000, the author explored the biography of an idea. In the comment on this book, by the Sunday Telegraph, it said; "The Tipping Point provides some profoundly suggestive arguments and insights. Its account of the pivotal role that identifiable individuals play in the spread of ideas, information and trends is, in particular fascinating, It is also heartening: individual men and women can, it turns out, really make difference"!

This book is about, 'How little things can make a big difference'! 

A single Munia bird could gather three others by its bird calls! 

I was keen to find out whether the palpable cranial sutures in the scalp of  infants and toddlers is an early sign of vitamins D deficiency. In a study that was done in the department where I worked, I gathered some evidence to this effect. I wanted about 20 paediatricians to look at this issue and indicate if they have an evidence of Vitamin D level being low in infants and toddlers who had palpable cranial sutures. With some information in favour of this hypothesis, I requested three obstetricians to check on the vitamin D level of pregnant ladies in the first trimester, second trimester and third trimester. The indication is that vitamin D level is low towards the second and third trimester of pregnancy. All these are early indication of any association. At least this question has alerted some Obstetricians to check vitamin D levels in pregnant ladies, which was not routinely done. A few Paediatricians have begun to check Vitamin D level in infants and toddlers who have recurrent respiratory infection. Recently I requested them to check the Zinc level as well as my observation suggested low Zinc level in a high percentage of infants and toddlers who had recurrent respiratory infection. 

I noticed in literature that there is more published data on the rationality of checking on Vitamin D and Zinc levels in infants and toddlers , who have less exposure to sunlight. 

Malcom Gladwell argued in the book that an idea needs to be disseminated by word of mouth. In fact, the sale of Hush Puppy shoes brand went up several times when some people started to ask for the brand in the shops, which made the retailers to order for the brand in their shops (p3-4). 

One Munia bird was enough to influence three other birds to join its company!

I suppose it is a message that each of us can cause something good to happen if we so desire!

On one occasion while travelling in a bus recently, I got up from the seat earmarked for a senior citizen, when a lady with her infant needed a seat. Seeing this, another young man got up from his seat and offered his seat to the lady and made me sit in the senior citizen's seat!

Each of us can initiate a change process! Its cascading effect may or may not happen! But doing good is the way to give the change process a chance!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

The displacement!

 

\

I kept looking for about six weeks now, the resident Magpie robins in our garden A pair was often in our garden. Knowing that they are perched at some favourite tall trees, I searched for them for about three weeks now. In fact it is their bird calls which are tuneful which announce their presence.  When their bird calls were not heard, I began suspecting about some stress factor because of which they did not sing as before. I found out from a bird watcher that a bird, who usually has a particular behaviour, can behave differently, when there is stress.  

A Magpie robin was perched in the tree outside the main door to our cottage in a tree, which gave it an advantaged position to watch the happenings in the garden. I noticed how it tracked the movements of the Bulbuls, Barbet, and Myna. It seemed to be comfortable but without any bird calls. 

When it noticed a garden lizard in the plant below, it seemed to show restlessness and flew away from the garden. 

I too have noticed a garden lizard in the feeding station and on other plants recently. I noticed that Magpie robins are comfortable with squirrels. But I wonder whether the presence of a garden lizard is an inhibition to the Magpie robin. 

During the five minutes I caught the attention of the Magpie robin, it kept looking at the camera and appeared communicative. But its body behaviour changed when the garden lizard appeared in the plant below. 

Was the Magpie robin displaced  by more birds now visiting the garden? Or is it because of any predator in the garden!

The experience of displacement is an emotional matter rather than only a physical reality. 

An interview of a family who had to relocate to a new location following the recent landslide in the Wayanad area, expressed to the press reporter, how there is no longing to get up in the morning. Otherwise walking with the neighbour to collect milk at 5 am, then  to the field to gather flowers and later to the common well to collect water gave a friendly and inviting ambience. At dusk, they met again at the well and it was like a debriefing of the day. There was a connect that gave acceptance and social comfort. This family is trying to find similar connections. There were not many children in the locality, which make their two pre-school children homebound during the day. 

 

I guess that the avians also would have similar connections that make them comfortable. But if there is any stressful factor, they behave differently!

My thoughts got carried away to Gaza, Israel-Lebanon border and West Bank, where the conflict has got intensified. The expectation was that Israel would announce some peace initiatives at the first anniversary of the conflict, but it is far from that! To live stressfully would make some prone to post-traumatic stress disorder. I read a comment from a doctor that he was tired of attending on patients brought to the emergency department with multiple bleeding injury following the bomb blasts. 

If a person is displaced from his or her emotional comfort zone, it is an unfortunate situation to be in!

I feel delighted by the interest of a group of college going students to visit people, who recently came to live in their locality following  the land slide. They go with cricket bat and ball, foot ball  and a Boomerang to play with children. The parents of children too have felt encouraged by these visits. One college student when asked, said, 'it was a decision which was initiated by their teacher sharing in the class that the new comers to any locality can feel lonely... what if you went to visit such people once or twice a week'. A group of four students do it now for about three weeks as their contribution to make the new residents feel welcome. They brought comfort to the new residents and   cheer to the children, who are yet to adjust to the new school. 

The stressful experiences can be many. But we can anticipate and respond to such situations to make people feel at home! Three cheers to the college students who are mindful of others!

Anna and I need to find a way to help the Magpie robins to return to its earlier way of moving about in the garden freely and singing tunefully! 

M.C.,Mathew (text and photo) 

 

The covered Coconut palm!

The first two phots are of a coconut palm tree, about three hundred meters away from our garden, across the paddy fields. Its stem is fully covered by a creeper and the leaves of the palm tree, look yellowish and reduced in number and in appearance in comparison to another coconut palm tree, about 20 meters way from the first one. 

The only difference between the two is the creeper covering one of  them from the soil to its top, which makes the tree look reduced and different in appearance.

It is likely that the tree is unattended because of which the creeper has covered the trunk over a period of time. I happened to notice this by chance. Therefore I am unable to give a line, the creeper  would have taken to cover the trunk from the soil to the top. The three climber would find it difficult to climb such a tree, to pluck the coconuts. As this tree has no coconuts, the tree was abandoned, perhaps. 

Usually saprophytes thrive on degenerating stem. So I wondered whether this phenomenon is symbiosis. 

What brought to my mind while seeing this disturbing sight was the sight of a group of people who  were going around collecting donations for a political party in the shopping area of the village where we live. Most of them were unemployed. They spend their time supporting and promoting a political party. The party offers a small support, for which they have to raise donations. 

Look at the impact of unemployment of young people. I recognised who are poorly employed or unemployed after finishing the college education. In a conversation with one of them, the usual desire of his generation is to get a regular employment with social security in the future. That happens to. a small group. In the competitive market, others are not survivors to find a suitable job. 

The full human potential is unharnessed in the current social and political system. 

However I come across the genuine spirit of service of the unemployed youth. Recently a group of them paved a mud road to go to a village which only had a foot path. When I went to see the outcome of their efforts, I felt how resourceful they are!

The coconut tree suffers from living its full life and bears fruit, because the creeper has encroached upon it. 

There are some preventable and avoidable factors which push youth in to unemployment and live a reduced life!

It is the social and political system to take this as a challenge! The younger generation is the cream of resource in a community. If they are not enabled, we deprive them of their prospects in life! The projection is that, the unemployment is unlikely to be any  less, unless the younger people is trained to attempt more self employment opportunity for income generation. 

A young man goes round in the village to gather the domestic waste and delivers it to the dump yard, for which he receives pocket money from each household. The income is just enough to support his nuclear family! 

The coconut tree covered by a creeper is a disturbing sight- it looks as if the owner of the garden does not care for the coconut palm!

To be inattentive for the wellness of a palm is a symbol of the in- attentive optic we can carry within us!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The difference in the petals.

The flowers of Bauhinia purpurea in its Orchid tree have some distinct features, which occurred to me only a few days ago. 

The flowers have five petals and two petals are similar and the other three are different in the design on the petals. There is one petal with a strong design of pink in the centre with white in its margins. The one on the right in the photo above, has a streak of pink in the centre with white on both sides with the rest of the petal coloured in pink. The left petal has largely a white central design. The other two petals are grossly similar with  pink coloured design. The shape of all the five petals look similar. 

For a student of Botany,  this might be  an ordinary feature of having  different hues of colours in petals of large flowers. Some of these flowers are engineered at the genetic level in the laboratory. But I did not find a reference to it in my first enquiry.

These are ordinary events in nature. 

Every person has shades of temperament and behaviour. There are times when a person is composed, reasonable, fair, temperate, integrated and upright. There are times when person behaves impulsively and not forthcoming with a sober and righteous behaviour. 

The epigenetic of human behaviour has been under extensive study in the last three decades. 

As one interested in child development, this phenomenon continues to engage me. The attachment behaviour between an infant and mother which begins to evolve between three and twelve weeks after the birth of a child has been considered to be a foundational feature, upon which behaviours of childhood and even adulthood are formed. 

 

An infant often cuddled, responded to, pacified while crying, fed well, played with interactively and given opportunity to socialise with members of the family and others by the time an infant is nearing his firth day, seems to have better chance to develop a communicative,  and affirmative behaviour in the toddler years and later. 

This epigenetic environment has lasting influence in the development of adult temperament and behaviour. 

A child at ten years was a loner at school. He seemed to stay withdrawn. A teacher who took time to befriend him found that his father worked in a distant place and came home only on week end. His mother too had long hours of work at her office. The domestic workers who took care of children kept changing and there were times when children were left to themselves after school till mother returned late in the evening. This sort of childhood deprivation is more common now than earlier. The child at ten years had no experience of relating to others. The teacher took considerable interest in helping him to adapt. The teacher encouraged him to take interest in extra curricular activities. His musical ability helped him to join the school choir. From then on he seemed to show indications of social initiatives. It was the teacher who helped him to recover and find his way forward.

The childhood is a time of formation with the healthy confluences of many relational experiences. But we come across children who behave discordantly and stressfully!

The flowers above reveal their hues of colour and design. They are formed to be so.

The formational influences of early childhood would determine the temperament and behaviour of late childhood! The home is the place of formation of childhood. Parenting presence is a significant influence. A child needs diverse healthy experiences to have a confluence of sound conduct and character. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

The Fallen petal!

 

I noticed some fallen petals on their way to the soil beneath. They were in an in between state. The petals got separated form the ageing flowers and got dropped from its stem, but the other beds, flowers and leaves held them in memory of the flower they were, before they would finally drop to the ground to fade away into the soil. 

The third photo has a stem of flowers, now looking bare having dropped all the petals of the flowers! That stem is now a memorial to the flowers which gave nectar to the Sunbird and Bees and adorned the bush in an array of colours. 

The three stages of the petals held my attention. The petals when they formed a flower, when a petal getting separated and was on its way to the soil but retained by buds, flowers or leaves and the petals scattered on the ground among fallen leaves.

A petal has no life of its own. It along with other petals form a flower. The confluent existence of petals create a flower to bear colour, texture, fragrance and nectar! It is like each member of a family being a petal to form a family to fulfil all its functions. It is the whole formation of a family which gives each member, an identity, rootedness and a belonging. By being individualistic a family is not formed. A cake is formed when the dough, yeast, butter, sugar and all other ingredients are together baked in an oven. The oven is the society around us, which integrates each member of a family to be blended together. I watch the dysfunctional sate of our society; what comes forth out it is a dysfunctional family. The evil of dowry price for a bride, and the extravaganza attached to marriage celebrations and customs that highlight the material aspects of family life constitute to the dysfunctional state in the society. No wonder many families inherit these and perpetuate these thought lines in the family life. I wish each member of a family remembers that the colour, texture, fragrance and nectar in a flower happens with the coming together of all petals; each person integrating into the fullness of what a family can be!

A fallen petal is a memorial to the life that a flower lived in its giving role. I feel touched the way the Christian Medical College, Vellore remembers its founder Dr Ida Scudder. The Founder's day annual event starting with a chapel service and gathering of the retired staff for a meeting later in the day are special events. Recently I noticed there is even more effort to bring Dr Scudder visible in the history of CMC by having her photograph in all its communications. She is like a fallen petal, but held actively in the memory of the institution because of which the values Dr Scudder brought through her being and doing have become the norm and are well integrated into its fabric of heritage. A fallen petal when held in remembrance continues to effuse inspiration and affirmation to emulate the good practices. 

A petal on the ground is ready to join back to the soil. That is what is natural. A buried petal also can be remembered rather than ignored or forgotten. The Sir Joseph Bhore committee report of 1948 was responsible for creating a groundswell of service in primary health in India.  Drs. Mabel and Raj Arole in the late nineteen sixties, responded in their own way to the Bhore committee report and started a  primary health care project at Jamkhed in Ahemmedangar district of Maharashtra. The rest is history. The Jamkhed project became the model of primary health care for developing countries following the recommendation of the World Health Organisation for wide spread implementation.  Drs Mabel and Raj Arole became like seeds that fell into the ground to give life to a a new model of health care that changed the vital statistics favourably of mother and child health in rural India. A fallen petal is also life giving!

In the life of some organisations, the 'fallen petal' is a past not so well recollected! The detours some organisations make and the derailment they suffer from, arise out of forgotten past or distancing from the past. 

The plant above would drop all the petals of the flowers in the next month or so. The petals would get buried under the tree in the soil, to nourish the soil to give life to another cluster of buds and flowers in the next flowering season. 

A flower has a history. The petals have their history. Together they make the flower to stay fresh, fragrant and fragile! The bees and sunbirds would find nectar when flowers bloom. Some flowers would be in the vases at home and at work places. 

The petals form the flower. The flowers give nectar and produce  seeds to continue the heritage! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Visiting birds and being visited!

I have friends who make regular trips to different places to spot, watch, take photographs and describe habitat and behaviours of birds. I could not get into that habit although it is about thirty years since I have had some interest in observing the sanctuary of nature where multiple events take place each day. 

For various reasons, the focus of the most observations about nature was largely the garden around our house. 

There are some birds who reside in the garden and a larger number who visit the garden during their flight path. 

A friend knowing my limitations to be a birder by visiting places where birds can be seen and tracked, he suggested, 'What if you allow birds to visit you'! 

According to him, three prerequisites for birds to visit were: make the garden inviting for birds to visit ; stay in the same place, whenever possible at the golden hour in the morning and evening and wait for birds to visit;  identify birds who are comfortable to come near to human habitations. 

I followed those three suggestion. We stopped burning leaves to make ash for manuring the coconut palms; we trimmed trees in a scattered manner lest the birds would loose the cover of foliage for their shelter at night all at one time; made access for birds to feed on fruits like papaya and banana and trained the dogs not to bark at the birds. 

One way of making the garden inviting was to grow many flowering plants and gathering only enough flowers for table decorations; make bird feeding stations in two places in the garden where, at different times of the day, food that would suit each species was served around the time when they come regularly,  and retain dry small branches of the trees to stay for birds to use them as flight stations. That worked. We have birds who come to feed and use the dried branches as flight stations. 

Waiting for birds to arrive in one place helped as birds who like to have human contacts do come to same place regularly. I avoid taking photos when birds come for the first time unless it is a migrating bird. When they feel at home in the garden, they allow photographs and would even pause by engaging in eye contact. Usually the regular visitors would even call out if they do not see me. The Bulbuls who like fruits come to the kitchen door and call out if the feeding station does not have food for them. 

The Sunbird who came to visit this morning, whose photographs are above, is a regular visitor. Usually Sunbirds stop nectar gathering if found to be photographing. One has to stay in a distant place and use a telephoto lens to capture their movements. 

Today, this Sunbird surprised me. It came close to the steps of the cottage and called out. I was able to take the camera and take some photos with face to face contact. It was unusual. 

There were about thirty birds today between 7 am and 9 am, visiting their usual flight stations in our garden. Some returned when the feeding bowl was refilled. 

Birds visit the garden as their habit. It is another experience when you feel visited by familiar birds by a gesture of familiarity. 

I felt visited by some birds as they made bird calls similar to the tone of the calls when they are ready to socialise. The Sunbird seemed to have looked out for me!

 

It is only occasional that I get a feeling of being visited by avian friends! That brought a good feeling. A few more birds are getting used to me!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

More Buds than Flowers !

I found another expression to 'tip of the iceberg' while watching the blossoms in the plants in our garden, 'more buds than flowers'!

The flowers sometime subsume or obliterate the views of the buds. What is visible makes us get carried away by all that is obvious and immediate. 

During my years of association with younger professionals, I remember several instances when what a professional presented through his or her CV, behaviour personally and at work setting, was just few flowers. They had more hidden skills, abilities, insights, original thoughts and creative instincts. 

This consciousness came to me once a resident borough a lovely painting summarised my life in the way an artist views my life. Seeing that painting, I felt moved by the imagination that was portrayed of my past and future. It was then I realised that this resident developed artistic skills during the undergraduate training season.  

Another resident was introduced to me as someone who was not dependable and lazy at work. What turned out during the time of association with the department was that, this resident excelled in clinical work, relationships, research and responding to children and families in a mindful way. 

There were few others who went beyond all my expectations or dreams with regard to diligence at work, bringing their skills of music, organising the activities in the department, relating to others, taking initiatives during difficult times to continue being effective and envisioning new perspectives in child development. 

A professional colleague who was generally quiet and efficient surprised me by the readiness to make child development sequences  in line drawing. That created hand outs for parents which helped parents to appreciate the  sequences of child development visually. 

I was reminded today of these experiences, spread over four decades to believe that 'more buds than flowers' is a phrase which represents  realities of a person. It took a while sometimes to go beyond a bias or memories of the past to believe that a person has more depth and substance than what was evident. 

During my conversations with professionals in the recent years I came across experiences of some, who felt stifled because others working with them or overseeing them did not go beyond what was already known about them. 

The domestic worker whom we know for seven years has skills in masonry, pipe laying, building granite walls, painting, gardening, and wood cutting. When we engaged him, it was for gardening. It is now over a period of time, that we realised his skills and abilities are in a wide range of fields. Some people make self disclosures gradually and contextually. Some others treasure their abilities and keep them hidden for suspicion of not being good enough. 

The message I carried back with me after seeing the blossoms in the garden is, there are 'more buds than flowers' which helps me to stay open while relating to others. 

M.C.Mathew( text and photo)

 

The distant and near views!

 

Anna planted a sapling of Bauhinia a year back in our garden, which is now a bush. It is a colourful decoration in the front area of our garden.

I took some photographs of the plant with an intention to get a distant and proximate views of the flowers.

A flower has a a diffuse appearance with none of its details identifiable from a distant view. As I came closer, the details of colour, texture, designs on the petals and the decorative presence of the water drops made the flower more complete and visually adorable. 

I stayed surprised and delighted while viewing the flower close. I could capture the details of the flower in the close up shots with a macro lens. 

This took me back to the ways of forming impressions on many matters. One can form impressions with limited information or superficial perspectives. 

A press reporter interviewed a person about the aggressive position of Israel in the war zone. He surprised the press reporter with details of how a member of his family in Tel Aviv spends time in the underground bunkers, each time he hears the siren, sometimes two to three hours on each occasion. He has lived with fear of the apartment being damaged in bombing for the last six months. The conversation was so moving that the press reporter held the man close to him to bring some comfort!

A doctor while visiting the peripheral clinic in a rural area, noticed a woman with a tumour on her face, living with a disfigured face and finding breathing difficult. She did not have resources to go to a hospital. The hospital team made arrangements for the surgery to be done and the woman is back to her normal life in the village. She had to live isolated from people for two years because of disfigurement the tumour caused to her face. A close encounter and the favourable outcome for a woman!

A friend told me that an attender who was prompt in coming to work and diligent to carry out his responsibilities, kept coming late and working a half heartedly. He was corrected, reprimanded and made to take leave when he came too late for work. One of the senior doctors made a surprise visit to his home. That shocked the doctor. Since his wife was looking after her ailing mother and was away from home for two months, it was he who was looking after all the chores at home and getting his two children ready to go to school. That changed the perspective towards the attendant who was thought to be irresponsible. 

I find that I too am prone to make my impressions on some matters without gathering details or verifying facts. I had not guessed that the domestic quarrel that was pushing a person I know, to alcohol habit, which made the domestic situation worse. It look a lot of enquiry and patient conversations which led me to capture the long unsettled matters which strained the couple's relationship. Since they started to talk to the presbyter of the church on this matter, there is a respite in sight. 

It is only when we draw close to each other as spouses, we get to experience a depth in relationship which was evasive in the past. It is when we take a keen interest in our children and get to know the ups and downs they face, we get to recognise the stress they carry and become their companions instead of being nagging critics.

This applies to work place situations. It is when we draw close to others we get a window into their lives and can become their support. 

The appreciative approach to any situation becomes possible only when we can draw close to people and situations. It is a disservice to stay distant and approach or negotiate situations based on a distant view. 

In my recent involvements with few people, I noticed this even more. When a person is not consistent in staying in touch, it can be due to difficulties which drown a person. It is by offering to be patient and considerate, one can help that person to find the way forward. 

Drawing near to people gives us a more appreciative orientation  towards them. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)