The roots and homes !

I had an opportunity to be at a retreat home last week. The open chapel in the campus brought memories of visiting similar chapels, in retreat homes earlier. Its simple decor and quiet ambience surrounded by tall trees and plants on all sides, give it an ambience of hiddenness suiting those who seek interior silence and solitude. The bird calls around the chapel fall in one's ears gently as if the birds too join in to create the message of silence to a seeker's soul. I felt a consciousness of how such a place creates readiness to be in God's presence and feel rested!

As I walked out of the chapel, I noticed two Acasia plants on either side of the chapel at its entrance, one larger than the other. I have reasons to think that both were planted at the same time. My enquiry from those whom I asked about it, did not give me any conclusive indication of why they were different in growth, although planted together.

As I walked  into the garden, I noticed an excavated place where the roots of the three trees were exposed. Each tree had a separate root system and this was expressed in its stem. The first tree had its trunk just above the root system looking damaged with the bark not covering the tree circumferantially. 

The growth and structure of a tree is determined by its root system and the soil surrounding it. One can learn about the biography of a tree, which reflect the root system and the soil around it. 

From the chapel when I moved out, seeing the two different growth profile of the Acasia trees, I carried a sense of curiosity about the causal factor for this difference. Seeing the root system introduced me to a new consciousness about the soil around a tree. 

A day before this visit, I happened to be with parents who spoke about their children and the different experiences which they have about their growing up. Each family has a different nurturing ambience. It is in a family every child is rooted. I became more aware of the family ambiences which get influenced by different experiences and transitions. 

I wonder if families can take time once a month or so to look at the modifiable factors to optimise the wellness and nurture of children! 

I wish there was a more evident and sustained family nurture programme initiated by organisations or places where they work. Every parent needs that preparation and enablement to be functional and relational to their children, for which they deserve a formative support from their work place, as most people spend eight or more hours in their work place. The wellness of the people working for an organisation ought to include the wellness of their family life. 

 

From my experience, most of the efforts of the human resource department converge towards optimising the wellness of people at work place and do not transcend to matters pertaining to their home or family life!

I wish every organisation, will have a Family Life Programme which fosters formation of families and nurture of children! The formation of children till adulthood needs greater attention in our work places. 

I know of organisations where there are family chaplains, who focus on the family life of the people working in that organisation!

The two Acasia trees outside the chapel looked different. Seeing the root system of other trees, my thought meandered in this direction about nurturing children in their home ambience. 

The first time I got acquainted with the root system of trees was at the Ecumenical Christian Centre, Whitfield in 1981, where they had several roots of trees in display, to introduce to the visitors about the  life of trees below the ground and their presence in the soil to receive enough to express its phenotype! Rev Dr M.J.Joseph, a retired director of this organisation often writes about ecological effects on human life on earth. He is a strong advocate for friendliness towards trees and woods. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Seeking together !

I watched how these domestic goose, after having been released early in the morning from their shelter at night, kept searching for their feed from the wet ground. They were together as a group to begin with and were later found to be in twos or threes. 

It looked to me that they waited for each other and kept pace that gave me a sense of a bonding that was spontaneous. They communicated with others with bird calls and turned towards each other. 

Is this just a herd behaviour for utilitarian purpose of ensuring safety form predators! Or is it an instinct that arises from natural affinity to each other. When I went to look for them in the evening, I noticed a similar behaviour of two or three moving about together. 

Following this intriguing sight, I went out of the campus where I was living to take a walk along the road to the next village. I found two similar looking houses in a farm land. They were separate with a common courtyard and separate backyards. 

As I stood watching this sight, a man walked towards me from the farm who was interested to know about me. During the conversation, I happened to enquire how these two houses are located adjacent to each other! He mentioned to me that brothers live together in adjacent houses in that community although they function as two households. They share common meals on Saturdays and Sundays, taking turns to cook for each other's family. This custom in that particular community they belong to, is an old practice that some families hold on to, especially if they are engaged in farming. I was delighted to hear this practice as privacy and independence often are the overriding factors for many families normally. 

It is when this friendly stranger explained to me about the history of this community I found a connection with their past. They originate from a background of families who were nomadic and lived in the forests. Since about two hundred years, they have got used to live in the plain and live from the produce of the land by farming. They need work force to farm and labourers are not easy to find. So they help each other to farm and harvest. 

The ducks above and the two families of brothers convey the same message- the fulness of purpose of being together. 

This spirit of neighbourliness is a virtue we seem to loose in a world of acquisitiveness than the social habit of sharing the resources and seeking for the welfare of each other. 

I have often wondered since the Israel's war over the Palestinians for over a year now, how Israel and the Palestinians did not consent to accept each other as two nations, existing adjacent to each other, although the United Nations Organisation prosed it about fifty years ago. 

We are progressing technologically, economically and industrially, but seem to regress in values of tolerance, equity, justice and mindfulness!

Elizabeth and Mary, cousins, who were both pregnant met together to greet each other, about which there is a vivid description in the Bible in the book of Luke, chapter 1 verses 39 to 56. The baby of Elizabeth  'leaped in her womb with joy'(v 44). The song of Mary in that passage is a moving account of her experience of joy, as expressed in the Magnificat. Mary's song, 'He has filled the hungry with good things and sent away the rich empty handed'(v53) is indeed a promise of hope for those who still live at the mercy of others. 

Watching the ducks for about forty minutes, while they searched for their food from the ground, brought me the hope that those 'who seek shall find'!

It is one time in our history after the second world war, we need to seek for peace and wellness for humanity, when war, invasion and domination, which were instincts of the past, have returned to afflict us! 

We need a heart that feels and hands that hold others to feel strengthened!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

BALANILAYAM a gift for children

The above facility started in the nineteen eighties near to the Bagayam campus of the Christian Medical College,Vellore (CMCV) by two nursing professionals, Ms Marlene Thomson and Ms Ann Bothamley, working at CMCV. This was to offer a residential facility for school going children, whose parents were working cross culturally in mission hospitals in different parts in India, where adequate schooling opportunity did not exist. 

Marlene and Ann were colleagues at CMCV and felt for professionals working in mission hospitals, who needed affordable education for their children, where they can receive help to be educated and formed to move on to their college education. Many parents thought of  the Ida Scudder School at Vellore as a suitable place to send their children to, for schooling, but did not have a suitable accommodation for them to live and attend school. 

Marlene and Ann who shared an accommodation at the CMCV campus initially offered their home to welcome girls, while they went to study at Ida Scudder School. Dr P Zachariah, working at CMCV supported this good will gesture. Following the formation of a trust, BALANILAYAM, a suitable place was found at Bagayam to build the facility to have a custom made home for children to stay with house parents. Marlene and Ann received support from their friends, well wishers and their supporting organisations in Australia and Britain to build and furnish the home for children.  The facility was dedicated on 1.1.1990.

When we relocated at Vellore in 1997, Anna was invited to be associated with the trust, which gave us opportunities to have more regular contacts with Marlene and Ann. By then the home for children had developed into a second home away from their biological home, for children who came from different parts of India. 

There were two separate residential places, one each for boys and girls with dormitories, study rooms, dining hall, book room, recreation room, outdoor play area, garden, and plenty of space for quiet walk. The routine of the day corresponded to what would happen, in a regular home with considerable attention to upbuild children in their formative process. Marlene and Ann took turns to be with children in the evenings and week ends, while the house parents took the lead in being the foster parents and  primary care providers during the rest of the week. I recall how parents who came to meet the children periodically felt comforted by the efforts at BALANILAYAM to make children feel loved, cared and provided for, which brought the needed comfort for parents, who missed being away from children. 

The photos below taken in July 2007, during a get-together of children and parents bring back many memories of gladness, for what was offered to children by the thoughtful response of Marlene and Ann to attend to the felt needs of parents.

By this time Marlene had left for Australia after her retirement from CMCV. 

During a visit to Australia, in 2004 I remember meeting her, who lived well with happy memories of her time in India at CMCV and initiating the BALNILAYAM service along with Ann. Drs Val and Frank Garlick who used to visit India regularly, often brought to her news about friends and about CMCV. 

Ann continued her active involvement in BALANILAYAM with more of her time being with children after Marlene retired and returned to Australia. 

The BALANILAYAM services gradually ceased to be needed, and the premises are currently used by CMCV to locate its Distance Education Department. 

Yesterday, CMCV organised a community farewell to Ann as she now plans to relocate in Britain. The memories shared at the occasion were heart warming and moving, remembering the two nursing professionals who took a decision to support the mission hospital net work by offering to provide a second home for the children of professionals, working in mission hospitals or in similar service. 

Anna and I recall Ann with many instances of thoughtful support she offered to us in our involvements. One instance I recall was that of her visit to the developmental paediatrics facility, ASHIRVAD partnered with CMCV, on the first day in February 1997. 

The room where the facility was located was in the W ward, which was a good enough facility to start the clinical service. Ms Annie George, developmental psychologist and I were the two professionals, who moved from the Child Development Centre of  ASHIRVAD at Chennai to begin the service. 

Ann came to visit the room and felt that it needed more lighting. She arranged an additional tube light to be fixed on the same afternoon and requested the Medical Superintendent to appoint a domestic staff for the unit. It was her custom to visit us couple of times in a week to enquire about our wellness and help with some practical arrangements we needed.  

There were other occasions when Ann was thoughtful to help and encourage us. Ann had a difficult time to decide whether to return to Britain following her retirement from CMCV. Her supporting organisation was keen to have her back in Britain for her to have more contribution to make in Britain. Ann chose to stay back in India. We felt her desire to do so as genuine and favoured her decision when her supporting organisation sought our opinion. 

The memories about Ann are many. We remember her with love and warm regards and wish her peaceful transition after nearly half a century of involvement at CMCV. 

A dog whom she did not own, would be around her, when Ann was in BALNILAYAM. Ann made the dog feel welcome in the garden! The children too became fond of the dog as their pet.

It was common to see Peacocks in the campus in the earlier days when the area had more open space. Ann referred to the peacock coming to greet her  as one among the many gifts she received from God. 

Anna and I want to offer our appreciation, warm regards and good wishes as Ann returns to her home country! We keep her in our thoughts and fondly remember association with her with gratitude and joyful recollections. 

The picture above is the main building at BALANILAYAM in 2007, when it was a home for children

The picture above taken a week ago, now houses the department of Distance Education of Christian Medical College, Vellore. 

This building is iconic in more than one way. It stands as a memorial to Marlene and Ann, for their heart of love for children and generosity of thoughtfulness towards professionals working in cross cultural situations in different parts of India. It is a place where children received a home to live to learn, grow and become who they are now in different walks of life. This home created a future for them beyond their expectations. It became a place where children had found two foster mothers and foster parents to accompany them in their formative years. 

Now it houses a department of CMCV, which is engaged in enabling professionals in this country and five other countries to receive continuing education through distance learning mode in multiple domains and specialities. 

This building dedicated in January 1990, bears a history of considerable importance in the cross-cultural health care net work in India!

We remember Marlene and Ann as those 'who gave everything they had' to love, care and support professionals, who lived cross culturally in India with a mission in their heart! Their pilgrim journey in the foot prints of Jesus of Nazareth in 'doing good' as a vocation, inspire us!

Anna and M.C.Mathew( text and photo)

The authentic experience!

The photos above were taken at times other than the golden hour photography in the morning or evening. 

The colour,. exposure, brightness, shadows, the background look different from the photos taken posted below, during the golden hours of the morning or evening.

The sunlight and how the camera lens picked up the details, make the difference to the photos, to be as close to the natural tone and colour. 

The original and something near to the original are different. 

The original is authentic, the near normal to the original is only a pale shadow of the original.

Mrs Priyanka Gandhi, a candidate for the election to be a member of parliament, stopped her car while on her way to the constituency, when  a person waved at her. She greeted him who told her, that his mother who was old and cannot walk to the road to greet her was keen to meet her. Mrs Gandhi offered to go with him to their home  She spent 20 minutes at the house meeting with the lady and other members of the family. It was an unusual sight to see the Mrs Thresyamma embracing Mrs Gandhi and sitting next to her holding her hand.  

The print press and the visual media publicised this widely as a gesture of Mrs Gandhi's  genuine regards for a senior citizen. Her entourage had to wait till Mrs Gandhi returned to the car. 

This is the heart of the matter. It was an authentic expression of genuine appreciation and consideration for a senior citizen. It is seldom we come across such an expression of thoughtfulness towards a person, who was until then unknown. 

What is original is often unique ! 

The phots taken at the golden hours of the day are near to the natural loo. The spontaneous act of expression of kindness to a senior citizen was an authentic expression of kindness, which was unique. 

What is common is a dichotomy between what is spoken and what is felt. The spoken kindness might not match the feeling within. 

In this case the way Mrs Gandhi and Mrs Thresyamma responded to each other, had a heart level connection and communication. It was an authentic sight of mutual affection, without any guile or intention of gain. 

It is an inner journey from appearance to feeling with the heart, which makes a home a rich place of relationships and mutuality!

M.C.Matthew (text and photo)

Mrs Priyanka Gandhi with Thresyamma from the daily news paper, Malayala Manorama, dated 23.10.2024