Serving Leader

The batch of 2008 of medical students  at the MOSC Medical college, where I work enacted a skit on the occasion of the awareness event on child development, which the department of developmental paediatrics and child neurology organised, in connection with its anniversary of service. 

The scene on this photograph was that of an adolescent boy, seated in a  wheel chair due to the spasticity of his lower limbs, caused by Central Motor Dysfunction. The volunteers who offered to find the way for him to the treatment facility in the hospital, knelt beside him to communicate with him.

I was moved by this natural gesture of the two medical students 'lowering themselves' to be in touch with the boy at his 'level'. They tried to engage him in a conversation, but he was non-verbal. Instead he scribbled on a paper something about his parents.

There are several ways of communicating. Often, the communicator is reaching out to the listeners from his or her level. It is seldom a communicator finds the level of the listeners and start from that level. 

It is for this reason, the incarnational story of Jesus of Nazareth is distinct and inviting. He seemed to reach the level of people naturally by choice. He humbled Himself to be in a serving role. That was His way of leading by example. Some refer to Jesus as a 'servant leader'. I wish, Jesus would be referred to as a 'Serving Leader, which to me shifts the emphasis to 'leading by serving'. 

This form of leading is by descending from one's rightful position to be present to a person at his level. This journey of self giving is for serving and not becoming a leader from the benefit of recognition this may bring. 

Mother Teresa received global acknowledgement for her serving life style; but that did not elevate her to a position, which distanced her from those she felt called to serve. On the contrary she became even more closer to them emotionally and incarnationally. 

A parent helped me to understand the implication of 'stepping down'  when he demonstrated how to crawl to his daughter, who was nine months old. Most parents wait for their child to crawl by themselves. But this parent was ready to lead the child into crawling, by demonstrating it. It was not easy for him. But he was sharing in the experience of his daughter. 

A serving leader joins in to share intimately in the experience of those whom he or she attempts to serve.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Use the mobile, but..!

The mobile Phones were freely available in India for about fifteen years now.

The first time, Anna and I needed to make a decision about possessing one was in 2001, when Anandit was to spend one year at Hyderabad. Anandit expressed the desire to have a mobile, to stay in touch without having to searc for a public phone booth. That is how Anandit became the first person in our family to have a mobile phone. We have been most impressed by the way Anandit has used the phone discretely over these years and has found many applications to help him. 

Aswathy, is a frequent caller and every time Anna or I receive the call, we feel glad for the advantage the mobile phone brings to stay in touch. Some conversations are for longer periods which do not have to wait till we meet personally, as the mobile charges are affordable and audibility is normally good. Such conversations are refreshing and make us feel connected with some details, which one amy forget if we were to wait till we met with each other to share them.

We have good impressions about the mobile phones if it is seen as a valuable tool to promote communication. The social media too have some contributions to our lives in a changing culture of promoting instant information access.

But to think of mobile replacing all the other conventional and necessary environment of young children, such as toys, books, creative art, music and singing, interactive play, out-door play, etc. is worrisome.

I have  noticed even seven months old babies being pacified with music from the mobile phone. Some parents offer the mobile phone to their children as their first toy. During the whole consultation of forty five minutes, a nine months old child was mouthing the mobile phone or dropping it to hear the sound or listening to film music the parents had switched on for him. A two years old child during the consultation did not greet me or allow me to examine him, as he was engaged in watching a cartoon on the mobile phone.

The parenting style has changed and would change even more. One couple told me that it is easier to feed their three year old child if she is allowed to play games on the mobile phone, while feeding. Parents deem it fit to violate good practices with no sense of regret.

Children would get used to what we introduce to them. They do not make the choice, till we condition them to choose by default. The parent's choice of using mobile phones to occupy them would deprave them of other childhood experiences.

Use the mobile, but watch out for its addictive effect on children! We would condition the young children to a 'mechanical behaviour' and deny them of the larger opportunities of learning in childhood, if we introduce mobile phone use to them.  

M.C.Mathew(text and phone)         

The first Rose on a special day !

Only those, who have lived through the torrential rains in Kerala in July and August, 2013 can appreciate the respite we have now with bright sunshine for about two weeks!

The rose plants in our garden are about to bloom. Anna and I watch the buds springing in them each day expectantly. This first rose after the Monsoon brought sunshine to our heart. Its blooming almost coincided with Amy's birthday. A bounty of joy!

We have now time and opportunity to watch the nature closely, to know its rhythm and learn from it. The rose plants were almost bare and looked threatened by the rains and absence of sunshine for about three months. In fact some branches which got badly rain soaked did not survive. We moved the ones in the pots to a covered area and soon they sprouted fresh leaves. The ones planted in the soil, which draw our attention normally because of the flowers, faded away into the background. The croton plants were more obvious and prominent in the garden.

Dr. William Cutting who writes notes on senior citizens on his blog has recently touched upon the issue of 'forgotten presence'. Many senior citizens feel forgotten, more so when they become fragile, less mobile and prone to illnesses. It is a difficult season of their lives. But he writes about several examples of senior citizens being most useful and helpful to others. One doctor who is wheel chair bound, but mentally alert listens to at least three people a day, as part of his mentoring commitment.

This rose flower springing from stems, which were battered by rains, brought home an important  message to me: Every season in life has the potential to be like the spring after the winter!

Daily living can be saga of challenges and adjustments. Amidst all of them, there are joys that call for celebration and pondering. The joys make us joyful only if we can ponder over them, 'treasuring them in the heart' as Mary, mother of Jesus did, on receiving the good news from the angel about her chosen status to become the mother of Jesus.   

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

  

The day has arrived !

Anna was in the kitchen garden this morning plucking the ladies finger, after three months of watching over the plants and daily attending on them. Anna was able to plant ginger, curry leave saplings, lime, chilli, beans, etc. all of which are growing in the garden. It is a challenge to protect them from pests and marshy soil due to excess subsoil wetness. Anna was found this as a leisure time activity for pleasure.

I have watched Anna from the time we arrived here last September, prepare the soil, manure and water it. The initial efforts to grow beans and ladies finger failed. Subsequently the soil was treated with organic manure. The weeds had to be plucked out several times. The efforts brought forth these fruits.

Anna has turned her attention to grow plants in the pots from the cuttings she gathers from different places we visit. Most of them flourish, because of the attention she pays to them.

This is symbolic of the equation between effort and outcome. Often the efforts seem demanding and long drawn out. What sustains the motivation and the momentum is the vision of the outcome. 

Arpit, who is a surgeon at the Christian Medical College, Ludhiana, has been on an relentless effort to do away with long scar or multiple scars on the operating sight. He wanted to replace the multiple incisions which are conventionally used in laproscopic surgery and use only one incision. He seems to have arrived there due to his consistent efforts. Amy, who is in training in Community Medicine at CMC Ludhiana, mentioned to us about her efforts to learn to read Malayalam script. Amy loved singing. Her parents would encourage her to sing Malayalam songs, by reading the script. It was effortful, but worthwhile. One of the things we look forward to, when she visits us is to listen to her sing Malayalam hymns reading the text. 

Many of us start on new projects enthusiastically, but only some of us stay with them for them to bring fulfilment.

The 'staying power' to pursue a desire or a dream is an acquired quality and temperament. I have witnessed this in Anna's approach. Anna has been into editing and publishing journals now for ten years. First it was the bimonthly Continuing medical Education Journal, when she was at CMC Vellore; now it is the quarterly VOICE, the journal of the Evangelical Medical Fellowship of india. She has brought a professional touch to the format and the content.

This call comes from the creation story in Genesis(1:28) the first book of the Bible,"..Be fruitful and multiply..'' 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

  

  

Sight and Optic

These two friends, VP and Devakumar were out in the garden shooting. As I watched them for a while  I noticed them shooting different sights. One was shooting children playing in the garden and the other some flowers. That made me think. Being a nature enthusiast and fond of photography, I kept pondering over this issue: what makes us view sights or events differently or selectively!

Yesterday, a eight year old child who came for consultation played with a toy train for a long time ignoring all the other fifty toys in the toy shelf. I asked him, why was he fond of the toy train. He said, 'My father works in the Railways and bought toy trains for my birthdays. Recently we went for a pleasure trip on the tourist train from Mettupalayam to Ooty'. His interest came from his habituation.

Another child, a nine years old girl, while waiting for her parents to complete the shopping in  a supermarket, was sketching the busy road on her note book. On enquiry, I  found that from the age of five years, she was fond of pencil sketching and has several note books with scores of her sketches. That was her natural inclination. 

What determines why we do what we do, is is often influenced by our habituation or inclination. The educational psychologists would refer to the former as the effect of nurture and the latter as natural instinct or nature.

All of us would see the same sight, but would draw different meanings from them, which is our optic. We interpret events and happenings through the insights we have of them, from our past experiences. Our past experiences are seasoned with pleasant or unpleasant memories. They influence the way we view the sights. 

Our optic is a decisive factor for our behaviour, temperament and responses. Even in photography, most photographers shoot sights which inspire or fascinate them, guided by their optic.

Anyone can learn to revise the optic by some help. If someone is a prisoner of a fixed optic or feel controlled by one way of viewing or analysing things, it is necessary to broaden or enlarge the optic. This has to be an ongoing process for allowing inner growth. Our opinions are direct expressions of our optic.

A medical student who bypassed five us standing in the queue at the coffee bar, whom I befriended later told me, that he did not mind doing it, because he was already late for the next lecture. His optic, although socially unacceptable, drives his behaviour. 

Jesus of Nazareth, heard the cry of Bartemeus, a blind man sitting on the wayside for help, while all those travelling with him ignored him or asked him to be quiet. Jesus reached out to him and restored his eye sight.

It is a blessing to have an optic that makes us more humane and wholesome.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)       

Lily of the Mountain

During the five days Anna and I spent at Connor in May, this year, we noticed some special flowers, which are uncommon in the valley or the plains.

This Lily has attracted my attention. On the first day, I noticed its pink buds, about to open. When one of them opened the next mid morning, I noticed that the flower had a pinkish hue. The next day, the pinkish faded away from the inside of the petals, while a faint pinkish hue was still present in the outside. By the third day, it was brilliant white. From the bud to full blown flower, there was a transition of colour. 

I was surprised to find this phenomenon in the plant spices. I am familiar with many external changes in  a child from the time a baby is born. It was the first time I noticed it in a flower at close quarters.

We are surrounded by many mysteries. We seem to walk through life hurriedly and miss watching  the   metamorphosis of plants and flowers.  

I remember watching different shades of red in rose flowers in our garden as the flowers age. The best reddish hue is often seen half way through the life of the flower. 

A flower has its biological rhythm. This awakens us to be even more mindful of nature because there are stories that would inspire us, to grow in a sense of wonder and awe. Take time to watch flowers and they would give away a profound message.

M.C.Mathew(text an photo)   

Writing with light

The meaning of the word photography in Greek is, writing with light. The invention of photography was by LJM Dagurre of France in 1839.

August 19th, every year, is celebrated as the World Photography day.

Let me present you a photograph of a butterfly, to remember the World Photograph day, taken by Canon compact camera G1X in macro mode, on 19th August, 2013 at 8.45 am in the garden in front of our cottage. This was the first occasion, I noticed a light green butterfly in the garden, since we came to live here ten months back.  

Incidentally it was in August 1981, Anna and I bought our first camera, a Kodak 35 mm, very elementary camera, useful to point and shoot. Since then, a regular refrain at home when ever I went overseas, was, 'are you going to come back with a new camera!' It is true that it is one temptation, that I could not often resist. Although I have a good array of cameras and lenses, I feel sorry that I have not used them well enough. 

I have been fascinated by sights and scenes of  nature and children. Most of my collections are of them. 

I have a poor understanding of the physics of light and have often depended on automatic shooting mode both for the camera and flash guns. I have gradually progressed in portrait shooting. Fortunately my hands do not shake and I trust it stays like that for a while. I still have some passion left with me for photography. 

I was surprised to find that I posted about five hundred pictures in my blog since I started writing a year ago. I use the pictures for meditation and learning truths of creation and ponder over of God's creative spirit. 

Anna has often thought of compiling some pictures that tell stories into a book form. It is a dream!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)    

Years and Memories

Anna and I first met Premila in 1990, when she joined the ASHIRVAD Child Development and Research Centre. During the seven years at Chennai, Premila was in the heart of all the significant events that helped in the unfolding the mission of ASHIRVAD . 

The child Development consultation and early childhood intervention services were organised by Premila through her efficient management of the office. She welcomed families and children warmly and responded to their needs kindly and thoughtfully. She managed to maintain the books and accounts, by working extra hours. The volume of the work increased after the other secretary left and our involvements got diversified to start the Early Learning Centre at St. Andrew's church and an extension service of ASHIRVAD at Nagpur. Premila cheerfully accepted more responsibilities, when we organised training programs and expanded our interventional services for children. We were delighted by her enthusiasm, caring nature and keeping the ambience vibrant with her friendly orientation towards the rest of the team. Premila stayed in touch those who left the team after marriage. She was meticulous with upkeep of the office.

When ASHIRVAD entered into a Memorandum of Understanding with the Christian Medical College, Vellore to start the Developmental Paediatrics Unit in 1997, Premila offered to accompany us to Vellore, although it was difficult for her to relocate due to family commitments. The whole responsibility of relocating to Vellore was born by her, which Anna supervised. There were three physical relocations in the initial three years in the CMC campus, the last being to the custom built new ASHIRVAD floor, each demanding attention and planning. She efficiently organised them and enthused the rest of the team by her friendliness and commitment to team work. Premila has an unusual ability to relate to children and families and picked up multilingual skills  to communicate to families.

Premila has been always dependable, caring and supportive. She promotes well being of the others by showing acts of kindness. She is a resource of help and a confidant to many. 

Since we left Vellore in 2010, Premila visited us at Pondicherry. She came visiting again during this week and stayed with us in our cottage and cheerfully adjusted to all the limitations in our home. She endeared herself to all at the Developmental paediatrics department at MOSC Medical College, that they invited her back for a longer time. 

Anna and I have been touched by her loyalty and affection. Her personal faith in God, even during difficult times, has been an inspiration to us. Her warmth and thoughtfulness which she conveyed to us during this visit lifted our spirit immensely. 

We have seen her grow and mature. She is a light that shines for others. We have been learning from her valuable lessons about the worth, meaning  and value of friendship.

We often hear from my earlier colleagues at the Developmental Paediatrics unit at CMC, that Premila holds together people and programs in an unassuming way.

M.C.Mathew(text an photo)               

The individual and the Collective

This wooden cross in the auditorium  at the Glorious Promised Land,  made me pause and reflect. 

Usually a wooden cross is made from a single wooden piece. The cross in this photo, was made by joining  multiple pieces of finely crafted wooden pieces.

The Christological symbols have a meaning and appeal.

The cross, when made from different pieces of wood represents the message that, 'we who are many, are one body in Christ and individually members of one another (Romans.12:5). It is a sobering and inspiring message to all followers of Jesus of Nazareth, who suffer from separation and divisions, while being followers of the same faith tradition. 

The cross also symbolises the 'suffering servant', Jesus of Nazareth who volunteered for a vicarious death on the cross. That cross since then become the symbol of healing in a broken world.

This cross formed by joining together  several pieces of wood is an invitation for all those who profess to be followers of Jesus, to be unitedly engaged in a mission of becoming whole. The whole is formed by individual parts. But if the individual parts are separate from each other, the whole does not come into being. 

Although the different pieces in the wooden cross look dissimilar in colour, design and texture, they create the cross. There will be a mosaic in the whole, if all followers of Jesus can be an assembly, tuned to each other in fellowship and partnership.  

There are differences of opinion in pursuing a vocation, even in small organisation. But a rigid adherence to doctrines or dogmas can permanently keep the faith travellers separate from each other, which keep us fragmented and less appealing, to seekers of truth. 

The individual pieces formed this cross. Each piece of wood would not have made the symbol of the cross. I wish, individual followers of Jesus of Nazareth, would be drawn together with a passion to  form the whole, which then would be the symbol of healing in a broken world!

Agape love is the substance of the cross. Is that the heart language of individual followers of Christ and the congregations of followers of Jesus!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)  

Unfolding the dormant abilities

I was most encouraged to watch Tina, who oversees the office affairs in the department where I work, take up an acting role in a skit, put up by the medical students on the occasion of an awareness meeting on child development. 

Tina communicated effectively and clearly. The message was well received by the audience. 

It was a discovery for all of us that Tina, who normally stays in the background and supports the team was willing to play another role. This made me realise that, most of us have  more abilities than we normally reveal in our daily work setting. 

Let me suggest at least three ways we can help people to go beyond, in discovering their dormant abilities. 

Create an affirmative environment for people to feel at home. If every act of kindness or thoughtfulness is  affirmed, it creates a new ambience of confidence. Many are hesitant or fearful because of a lingering thought, 'what if I fail'. It is important to convey that an attempt to do something, more than one is used to, is a good way to stretch oneself to be more creative or innovative.  

There is a need to notice the natural interests or inclinations. One seven year old girl who used to draw pencil sketches of nature, whenever she was travelling in train, had not noticed that she had an original view of nature, till an artist saw them and took her under her wings for advanced training. She has received three national level awards in less than one year. In case of Tina, I am not surprised by her acting skills as she is most natural and comfortable in most situations.

It is a good to entrust a person with a responsibility and support him or her through the process of implementing a project. Often, it is during exercising the skills needed to execute a task, most people suddenly become aware of a resident or dormant interest or ability. Another colleague mentioned to me the other day that, she discovered while preparing for the awareness event, that she can multitask without being stressed.  

Many people have dormant abilities. We can help them to discover them by our sound feed back and helpful support. This is another way of investing on others. This calls for genuine interest in the development of others. This is  nobler than an exclusive pursuit of a personal ambition.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)    

Greetings to all Farmers

The country celebrated 'Farmer's day' yesterday. 

When I was a child, I looked forward to ploughing the field, transplanting paddy, harvesting cashew nuts and nut megs, milking the cows, etc. Almost every child helped his or her parents in farming, as most of the rural economy then was agrarian and most household had a plots to farm.

In the last three decades, farming has become expensive, unaffordable and has pushed farmers into debt trap. With the cycle of drought and flooding, the farming has become even more difficult.

With urbanisation, and manufacturing of products becoming more cost effective, farmers either sell their land or do not farm the land. The real estate boom is an attraction for the farmers to encash their property.

But I want to greet small farmers,  with this bunch flowers, who still till the land for pleasure and need. They illustrate through that act, that we can do our part to be self-reliant. That is a needed message for families who keep their land idle because of the stressful demands of sowing and harvesting. 

Farmers who live and farm in villages are more susceptible to pressures of circumstances. Sometimes they give up after a while when there are too many hurdles and they do not want to prolong the agony.  

What inspires me most is the new impetus for co-operative land movement in India. People who own land are looking at the prospects of owning land collectively as a community, thereby reducing the overhead expenses and sharing profits. Some farmers are using the farms for double crops. The rubber estates, coconut groves, teak wood plantations are also being used to grow pineapple, vegetables, team coffee, which have been fairly successful. A neighbour has told me that the pine apple cultivation in his coconut grove has yielded double profit during the last three years. Many farmers are growing vegetables, although marketing is difficult sometimes. More  farm land is used for growing banana, mango and cashew nut, etc.instead of traditional paddy cultivation. 

Well done farmers, you are becoming innovative and entrepreneurial. You are investing into your future. You are changing with changing times.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)         

Strangers as Messengers of goodwill

These two men, were messengers of good will and kindness to me on two different occasions during the same week in August, 2012.

The one on the right happened to be passing by on his motor bike, when my car broke down on a lonely road around 8pm, ten kilometres away from the PIMS campus. He stopped and contacted the local service station to send a pick up team. He waited till the team arrived. In the mean time he fetched me a drink from a nearby shop and made me comfortable in the veranda of a home that he was familiar with. He came the next day to check if the car was repaired for my use.

During the same week, I left my camera in the basement canteen of the college and remembered about it only late in the evening. The person on the left in this photo, who works in the canteen had safely kept the camera in his custody. He was kind and did not make me feel guilty about my carelessness when I came to collect it.

It was only while archiving some photographs today, I remembered these two events which occurred during the same week, which had made me feel, even more sure about human goodness that still prevails. 

We are to be story tellers of human acts of kindness and gestures of good will which we experience, lest we allow cynicism and negativism to come to stay in our consciousness. 

When someone who saw me off in a taxi called back after forty five minutes to check if I had arrived safely, I was quickened in my conscience about the need to live mindfully of others. The way to overcome the evil of rudeness, indifference or anger is to sow acts of kindness whenever possible. This is the way to live peacefully with others. Love begets love and kindness brings forth fruits in season and out of season. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)       

Each person, a light

This illuminated outline on a map of India, was formed by placing the burning candles in an earthen pot  by the graduates of medicine at the Pondicherry Institute of Medical Science, during the Baccalaureate service, held last month. 

Each candle when it was placed on the floor was already casting its reflection on the floor which was an immediate feed back to to the graduates of how their life of service is already a source of enlightenment to others. The flame of the candles was pointing to different directions, while burning, which announced the different roles each graduate would play as ambassadors of healing in a globalised world.

In a metaphorical sense, the earthen pot represents the temporal or the existential and the light represents the eternal or the transcendent realities of life. The temporal would fade away and the eternal would last.

One of the common  comments, I hear about doctors in the general, is that they are drawn by the lure of fame, wealth, visibility, position, etc. They are frenziedly filling their earthen pot and their light has become dim for sight or has already burnt out. 

A chorus we often sing for children is, 'This little light of mine, I a'm going to let it shine, let it shine ..'      I wondered how these graduates would let their lights shine, in a world of seductions, enticements, temptations for resorting to short cuts to success.

Jesus of Nazareth referred to the light, in his discourse on the Sermon on the Mount, which is recorded in the gospel of St. Mathew(the New testament of the Bible) chapter 5.verses 14 to 16:

"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do men light a lamp ad put it under the peck-measure but on a lamp stand and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before in such a way that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven".

A business executive of Neuro-imaging service, brought me three weeks back, a packet of money as commission for the MRI of brain I ordered for children. When I refused to accept it, he remarked, 'how is that you refuse it when other doctors insist on it!'. The subsequent conversation confirmed to me that there is some truth in the perception that doctors are becoming materially addictive or prosperous driven.

Two medical students who dropped in yesterday for a conversation asked me, 'how can we stay focussed on caring for others, when practice of medicine is becoming all about personal success and wealth creation?'  

That to me was an affirmation that, God of love is at work in human hearts. Their lights would shine forth in the future!

The eternal needs the temporal for its expression. Even doctors need enough of material well being for their lights to shine forth! But the question, is the temporal replacing the eternal!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

A Children's hospital in the making.

I was recently at a meeting of the senior consultants of the department of child health at the Christian Medical college, Vellore, when they presented or referred to the activities about 13 sub-specialties in child health, which offer services currently in the hospital. A few specialities have formal or informal training programme and others are in the process of starting one. What a delight to hear these specialists and sense their excitement about developing these specialities into fully recognised training departments! 

I tried recalling if I have come across about twenty five sub-spcialists who are young and have a long term commitment in any other institutions in India! In that sense the Child health department at the Christian Medical College, Vellore, is unique and vibrant. 

This department is about to celebrate the history of its fifty years leadership in post-graduate training for which they are holding its alumni gathering in September, 2013 at Vellore. 

This department has pursued the vision of sub-specialising for the last twenty five years, Neonatology and Endocrinology being the initial ones. It has a history of inclusive health care policy, which ensures that every child with a treatable clinical condition would receive treatment irrespective of the paying capacity of the families. Some of the research contributions of this department were original and path breaking, which have received international recognition. The emphasis of this department has been to train at least two consultants in each sub-specialty to provide stability and continuity. 

I feel that the department is now ready to 'launch out into the deep' by becoming a children's hospital. Some experiments of developing children's hospital in India have brought forth better quality of services and integration of services. 

Children need a different ambience than what traditional adult hospital provide. If a hospital has to become a 'home or school' for children during their hospital visit or stay, it is good to envision a child friendly hospital setting. Some of the issues of children and families, need a different style of approach and response than what we practice in adult hospitals. 

Let me encourage the team at the child health department at CMC Vellore to dream that they have what it takes to be a leading Children's Hospital in India to show the way for innovative and contemporary approaches to Child Life and Health! .    

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

An inspiring friend

Dr. Rejit Cherian, on the left, who is talking to John, Chindu and Susan is a junior resident in the Neuro-surgery department at the MOSC medical college, who is a regular visitor to the department of Developmental Paediatrics and Child Neurology. 

Le me share some learning lessons form his visits. 

On one occasion, he mentioned that it is necessary to create more awareness about children with special needs among the faculty and students. So he is organising student-faculty badminton matches at the end of the month. He is getting T-shirts ready with the logo of the department as a dialogue starter.

During another visit he suggested that we have an evening of music with the college orchestra and campus children, where a presentation of the first year activities of the department can be done. This is in the planning stage.

Another initiative of his was to get the students enact a skit in the 'awareness meeting' on child development we are organising  on 21st of this month,  where we hope to have some teachers from the local schools and faculty and students of the college attending it. 

Not only he is vibrant with ideas and resources, he is proactive to facilitate support for the department from corporate organisations. He is getting the T-shirts sponsored by a local industrial firm. 

The friendship started when I stopped to say 'hullo' to some one I thought,  was trying to find his way in the college campus. Having been a student at MOSC medical college, where his parents also are senior doctors, he has a feel of the place and carries a mission for the institution in his heart.

Rejit is people-freindly. I heard him speak once at a student gathering on the story of Good Samaritan with some original insights from his two years of clinical work after graduation. He made the gospel story contemporary.

There are some young people who inspire you. Rejit is one such person. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)     

Burdens of Living

This picture is that of scores of people waiting at the main street in Perumbavoor, 10 kilometres away from where Anna and I live. Every morning by about seven in the morning, about five hundred or more  people wait in groups like this on both sides of the road, waiting to be hired for jobs at the construction sites, farm, estate, etc. 

They are migrant workers from, West Bengal, Bihar and Uttar Pradesh, etc. Almost all of them would be hired most of the days, but those who do not get hired have a hard time. Those hired would earn at least five hundred rupees a day which is two times  the wages they would earn in their home town, if at all they can find a job. 

The work force in Kerala is largely from other states of India, which speaks of the upward mobility of the employed in Kerala to white collared jobs, with fewer people available as artisans, farm workers, domestic helpers,etc. 

I got to know some of them who work in the hospital. There is more  people than there are jobs as a result of which, many get only fifteen days of employment.It is stressful as they stay away from home for three to four months and do not save much from what they earn. They live with an uncertainty and anxiety, that addiction to drugs, alcohol, etc is on the increase among them. The majority among them are in the mid twenties, who are school drop outs and unmarried. 

The silver lining in this situation is an effort by the Non- Government organisations  to form job hubs with continuity. There is a campaign to offer them insurance cover, subsidised health care and paid holidays. There are some caring groups, who befriend them and help them to find temporary accommodation.

Theirs is a story of travails of life in a globalised world, where opportunities for better prospects in life come at a heavy cost. We use them to get our work done, but do little for their welfare. The economic development safeguards the people at the top of the pyramid, and those in the bottom of the pyramid are left to fend for themselves.  

I am looking around to see if church congregations can be enthused to become their 'neighbour'!

M.C.Mathew(text an photo)

Blossoming in all seasons

This Orchid in our garden may be about twenty years old planted by my father. It is conspicuous because it is the only plant which would have flowers at all seasons. Since Anna and I came to live here, we had two rainy seasons, one summer and winter. All the other plants had blossoms in its own season. This orchid was full of blossoms all through the year. We have couple of other orchids, which

blossoms only during its own season.

I was talking to our domestic helper about gardening yesterday. He has worked in the farm for thirty five years and is full of practical wisdom nurturing each tree and plant. He mentioned to me that this orchid thrives, whether it is a frosty winter or windy monsoon or humid summer. It has some unusual capacity.

Later that evening, a neighbour dropped in, who is a widow now for ten years. She married her husband who was known to be Schizophrenic for twenty years with frequent relapses. She knowing this decided to offer him her life companionship. She is blessed with three children and seven grand children. Her husband passed away with due to organ failure. Since then, she has spent her time attending to the needs friends in the Church and neighbourhood. She is a faithful and caring grandmother. Although she has arthritis and some difficulties due to ageing, her face is radiant, communicating and comforting. She attributes all of these to the grace she receives through prayer.

We are called to live gracefully through all seasons in our lives. I have a feeling that, people who lived through challenges are often more steadfast in fortitude. 

Every time, I watch this orchid often, as it is in our drive way, I receive the call to live 'rejoicing' in all  seasons. St. Paul, a prisoner accused for his faith, wrote, 'Again, I say rejoice' in order to bring blessings and hope to others just as the orchid is a visual feast to th beholder.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)  

Know no limits

The  MOSC Medical College where Anna and I work is into its second decade of existence.  We have been keen to get the students more involved into an interactive culture.

As a department of Developmental Paediatrics and Child Neurology, we wanted to explore the world view of medical and nursing students on children with neuro-developmental needs. We invited students to design a T-shirt on the theme, 'Beyond disability' with reference to children. Twenty seven students participated in the contest. Most of the entires had an original message. 

One student captioned it as 'know no limits'. 

Yesterday I visited a family, who has a nine year old child who is almost bed bound due to severe neuro-muscualr disease. Her muscles are wasted and has a spinal curvature dysfunction with difficulties of squint and mobility. She prefers to be on the prone position and has been attempting finger painting and some strokes with brush. There is a rich form and content in her painting. Her smile of welcome and engaging the visitors is most touching. She moves by rolling and needs considerable help for all the daily living activities. She conveyed very little strain on account of these demands on her. 

What was even more touching was her hospitality. She kept gesturing to her mother to offer me tea. She pointed to the packet of biscuits that she is fond of, and indicated to her mother to serve me that.

It is now thirty five years since I have been on this journey to accompany children with special needs. I have been discovering that, some children live 'knowing no limits'.

It was yet another thing to have a twenty one year old medical student unfold his vision of children with special needs as those who 'know no limits'. It would have come to him as a prophetic vision, because he is too young to have had many real life experiences to have discovered it naturally. I believe that this was an insight given to him, which many rehabilitation professionals are yet to discover. 

As a department we got inspired by this, to be even more active to foster this spirit among neuro-developmentally challenged children and their families. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)          

In Seven minutes

I arrived last Saturday just before 4 pm at the garage to collect the car that was given for servicing. I was asked to wait for five minutes. It turned out to be seven minutes.

In that seven minutes, I had a cat nap, received a telephone call, read and replied a mail, read the last lecture given by Prof. Renu Koshy, at the time of her retirement at CMC  Vellore and briefly watched the Nehru trophy boat race held at Alleppy.

It was after a long time, I decided to do audit of some of the seven minute periods during the transition times of the day. This was the first time, I did it on that day with the help of a clock that was opposite to me on the wall. 

    

I was surprised to discover how much can be done during transition times. There are several transition or in-between occasions during the day, which we allow to drift. We let it happen unconsciously.

One of the most useful ways to use such transition times is to stay in silence inwardly, if the environment is quiet. If we are in a setting of much activity and noise, it is worthwhile to use it to read, make notes of observations or make a list to remember. 

I have recently added one more thing to occupy me during such transition times- to remember Anna, Amy and Arpit and Aswathy and Anandit.     This has added even more quality to such transition times. 

I recalled that there were thirteen occasions of in-between times of three to seven minutes on that day. 

One of the advantages of taking charge of our in-between times is that it helps us to stay centred inwardly rather than being carried away by what one may hear, see or sense. Our thoughts carry us away from ourselves to distance. 

Yesterday, I was overtaken by a sense of hurry and ended up impulsively arguing with a waiter for no benefit. I was not in touch with myself volitionally.

One surrenders the inner peace when preoccupied with hurry. Returning to be centred inwardly during such in-between times is a good habit to stay connected with ourselves. When that happens, the external circumstances have less effect on us and and our choices and behavioural ways spring from a restful or peaceful interior.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Parenting and Infants

One of the most dependable family support systems, I have discovered after coming to stay in Kerala ten months back, is the extent of involvement of the grandparents to help in bringing up children. Most grandparents look forward to have an opportunity to be actively involved in the care and nurture of children when they are young.

One custom which is popular in this culture is that, the grandparents almost take charge of all the care needs of babies in the hope of giving the mother time to recover from the demands of months of pregnancy and childbirth.  Most mothers value this help and would even return to full time work early if this support is comfortable for the baby. 

One difficulty I have noticed is the conflict between care and parenting responsibilities. One of the parenting responsibilities is to bring a sense of conditioned behaviour in infants. This is made possible by introducing many good practices to infants from the three months of age onwards. Mothers who used to sing to their babies or read picture based books or spend time playing with toys or on nature walk or engage in make belief play have confessed to me that those times created bonding with their babies, and opportunities to know their temperament and modify it when needed. 

Some of the mothers who did not have such an opportunity or ignored its value have an amnesia of the early months of their children. A few have confessed that, may be it is the reason that some parents are not close emotionally to a child whose infancy was interrupted by multiple care givers.   

There are now provisions in the government and some futuristic organisations to let fathers and mothers have options for long leave from work to be with their children. Some who have used it have mentioned to me of its utmost value. 

Children are our inheritors. The best we can leave for them is happy memories of parental nearness and presence, when they were young. 

A child enthusiast

Next week, I will be loosing a colleague from the team, who has been with us from the beginning of the Developmental Paediatrics and Child neurology department, where I work. She got married recently and is now getting ready to relocate to be with her husband in another city.

Chintu, an occupational therapist trained at the Christian Medical College, Vellore, happened to drop in to visit the department on the third day after we started the services. She wanted to find out if she could work with children and be a part of the team in the department. 

We were in the process of decorating the department and getting it ready for welcoming children. She got enthused by the idea of creating a child friendly environment and converting the open space into a stimulating setting for children. She got many pictures that children are fond of, and pasted them on the wall. Chintu was able to get the toy cupboard organised in each room. 

She became the trusted friend of Susan and Tinu, the other members of the team then. Susan had years of experience of being involved with children having special needs and found in Chintu an enthusiast and a dependable colleague. They became the resource for all the planning and provision of services for children and Tinu provided the logistic support from the office. 

Chintu has been versatile in her expression of abilities and interests. She bonded to children spontaneously and related to parents affirmingly. She was keen to help parents to overcome some difficulties they faced, in providing care for their children by demonstrating simple and effective therapy plans. I found her ready to listen, improvise and organise provisions for parents who needed financial support to buy orthotic appliances.

It was her dream to start a play group for children, which now functions regularly. She organised the campus children to host and perform for  families of children with special needs during the Christmas get together. Since we got thinking about the Hall of Residence fort short term stay for children and Early Learning Centre for children to provide help for the developmental needs, Chintu inspired everyone with her commitment to draw up the plans and create a time-line for beginning of the services.

In the department, we would miss a friendly, prayerful and caring person. Her clinical abilities, relational skills, friendly disposition and self-giving attitudes enriched the department immensely. She sees an opportunity in every situation and approaches the difficulties with ease and confidence. She has been the catalyst for creating the team effort in the department. Since Sneha, Honey and John joined during the last few months, I noticed how she made it easy for them to grow in the sense of belonging. 

There are some people who are naturally gracious and thoughtful. Chintu is one such person. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

     

Children's loss and media's gain

The average time a ten year old child spends in surfing the net, telephoning or playing games in the smart phone or watching television or playing computer games has gone up to about four hours a day during the week days and six hours during the week end, according to a group parents I met with to discuss about obesity in children. This means that, most of the free time outside the class room, is now spent engaging the electronic media. These children know a wide range of facts and have an advanced processing skills.

The department of Developmental Paediatrics and Child Neurology, where I work, organised a painting contest last month for five schools in the town of Kolencherry. We have just completed  scoring the art work. The judges were concerned about a below average drawing and painting skills, and a decline in the expressiveness of middle school and high school children .

In a story writing contest, we came across, the theme of violence was the common theme. Anna and I were sitting in the next table, to a group of teenage children in a restaurant. During the forty five minutes we were  there, their conversations were about movies, computer games, malls and fast eateries they visited in Ernakulum city.  I notice that some parents give their mobile phone to quieten a child, when he cries. The youngest child I saw engaged playing with a mobile phone as a toy was only seven months  old. When it was taken away he cried and the parents consoled him by returning the phone to him.   

A family who came to consult, helped me to be aware of the creative ways some families resort, to keep the flame of creativity alive in their children, one a teenager and and the other a middle schooler. I was particularly encouraged by the way they have a regular plans for their middle school going daughter.  One of the parents reads to her regularly for about a hour and sits with her when she uses the computer to allow conversations and clarifications. The other parent would find time for outdoor or indoor games for her at least three days in a week. She attends a music lesson, swims at least once a week and is a member of an elocution club and painting tutorial class. 

Seeing how this girl is enjoying a variety of experiences, the teenage brother is currently re-discovering his interest in reading, athletics, choral singing, and joins in regularly to listen to the bed time reading to his sister. The other day, he brought the book of short stories of Tolstoy from his school library and asked his father whether they can read this book together. At the end of this sharing the parents were in tears. They had not planned well to regulate his leisure time when he was growing up. 

Most children respond to the efforts of parents to keep the creative flame alive in them. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)  

One Turkey and Two ducks

Annan and I were fascinated by the two ducks and a turkey in along conversation for a while, in the Glorious promised land farm house. They chuckled to each other in different tones and loudness. They looked, listened and reciprocated with attention and interest. Our presence did not deter them or distract them. Till they were called for their feed by the care giver, they were in this conference. The care giver told us that they often have this meeting in the evenings. His guess was that they arrived around the same time in the farm house because of which they bonded well. According to him, it is not common to for a turkey to bond with two ducks. He also added that even the dogs in the campus do not chase these birds. They co-babit well.

Only the next day, we realised the possible reason behind. The care givers give attention to feed, bathe, walk the animals and delight in being with them for long time, which temper them to be relational. The care givers love the animals and are gentle with them. On one occasion, a black cocker spaniel  dog escaped from the leash and and the two care givers tried to trap him, but he enjoyed the fun of being chased by them. Obviously tired and breathless, the dog came and rested at my feet. The two boys, stroked him and gathered him in their arms. They showed kindness and not anger. 

What determines the behaviour of others is our behaviour towards them. Yesterday some students dropped in to have conversation. The Medical college is getting ready to welcome the first year students next week. The conversation was about welcoming them. I wondered why, sometimes senior students  are rough with them . One of them said, 'we too were treated harshly'.

It is common to reciprocate similarly to a good behaviour. True goodness is when one can reciprocate to an unreasonable behaviour with kindness and goodness. Human behaviour is an expression of an inner state of wellness. 

Those who are older are to lead the way by showing goodness all the time.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)      

     

Challenging Changes

Two newspaper  reports that invited my attention during the last were the south Korean experiment to run electrically run buses which would get charged wirelessly, from the cables laid underneath the road surface and the growing popularity of bicycles for transport in Europe.

I remember buying a Raleigh bicycle, the year I joined the medical school at Nagpur, (1967), which I used for about ten years. Some of us enjoyed long cycle journeys into the villages around Nagpur to orange and mango orchards to get our free supply of the fruits. Any visitor was allowed then to pick a handful of the fruits, or gather the ones fallen on the ground. We had regular picnics at the waterbodies around Nagpur. We visited some villages to spread health messages on Immunisation, safe water, hygiene, etc. There were times we went on cycling expeditions to discover the tribal habitat. For some of us cycling was both a sport and a break from our campus life. We bonded and grew up together through our cycling journeys. The roads were less congested then and we had safe access to all the arterial roads of the city. There were regular cyclists on short and long distance travel those days, when scooters or cars were a luxury.

About fifty years later, I am most fascinated by the return of cycling as a mode of  travel in many places in the developed countries. This brings to focus a human phenomenon: we are likely to return to some good  habits which we abandon due to short sight. Cycling is becoming popular because it is a means for physical exercise and helps to reduce consumption of fuel and carbon emission. The green earth needs attention for its survival, which is a message constantly in the media.

The three shops which used to lend bicycles in my village, fifty years back disappeared sometime back. Since returning to my village ten months back, I am yet to see regular cyclists. 

Life style has changed and affluence and material prospects have dulled our inner sensitivity to age old truths. Humans are resilient and would return to embrace truth after wandering for a while.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)    

The first Anniversary

The department of Developmental Paediatrics and Child Neurology at the MOSC Medical College is about to complete one year of service. The team in the picture has been a proactive group exploring different ways to become relevant and to meet the needs of families and children who visit us. 

We have many requests for consultations and developmental monitoring, which have encouraged us. The fortnightly play group for pre-school children has brought some parents together regularly. We conducted a painting competition in five schools in the town to identify those who are gifted to give them some support to unfold their skills. We are now scheduled to have a T-short design competition for the students at the college. Dr. Rejit,  junior resident has been a regular visitor to the department and is currently preparing to conduct a faculty-student badminton competition to celebrate the first anniversary,  to promote an awareness about the mission of the department. 

The last one year has been encouraging in many ways. I feel most touched by the sense of mission and dedication of my colleagues. Some parents have been most affirmative of what we attempt to do. The management of the College has been liberal with providing us the facilities. There are some well wishers who have offered to support us to develop more facilities for children.

Anna and I came to live in Kerala with some apprehensions. We look back surprised at what has happened in our home front and at our work place. There is stability and comfort more than we expected. 

Facing the unknown is both difficult and enlarging. The latter has been more true in our situation.

M.C.Mathew(text and poto)        

Celebration time

 

Anna and I returned to the Pondicherry Institute of Medical Sciences to join with the batch of 2009, on the occasion of their graduation. For Dr. John Abraham, the new Principal, this was the first college function, he had to officiate. 

Anna and I were able to participate in the morning chapel service, tree planting ceremony, the thanksgiving service and a faculty get-togetehr in the evening. We had time to catch up some friends and share times of recollection. 

Meeting some of the students was special. They shared their joy of graduating or being in the final year.    The faculty shared their many experiences of envisioning for the future of the institution. 

Every medical institution has its own challenges. One common refrain I hear is about not having enough junior doctors to work as first calls. Most of them take time to prepare for the postgraduate entrance tests that it is only an exceptionally motivated ones, who would want to explore the joy of working as doctors after graduating. 

We met three of such interns at PIMS who are getting ready to go to work at the Christian Fellowship Hospital, Oddanchatram. They told us that, they want to have a 'first had experience of working in a rural place and learn good clinical practices under the supervision of caring senior doctors'. 

I have often felt encouraged by a minority who keeps the hope alive. Ours is a majority driven culture. People embrace often what is popular and considered to be the norm. In such a setting, it was most heartening to meet the three interns who are looking forward to their time of exploring of being a doctor.  

Jesus of Nazareth spoke about the 'narrow way'. Jesus Himself is  the companion to those who chooses to walk the narrow way. 

M.C.Mathew(text an photo) 

A Place for purposeful pause

The 'Glorious promised land' is a facility Anna and I discovered two weeks back, in the outskirts of Bangalore, beyond 35 kilometres of the Bangalore air port, dedicated for those who want time for rest, retreat and recovery.

Regi and Esther, who founded this in a 12 acre serene setting, have paid much attention to make this place aesthetic and historic. They planted about 1500 trees, created, ponds to breed fish, tree house and play area for children and designed the cottages to bring an ethnic culture of houses of yesteryears in Kerala. The front wall of all the cottages are wooden panels brought from demolished houses in Kerala, mostly with a history of 150 years or more. The interior of the rooms are simple and add to the ambience for reflection. The dogs, hens, rabbit, turkey, etc provide a homely setting to the campus. The meeting rooms, dining halls and common areas too are distinct in their appearance and design. 

This is located in the plains of the Nandhi hills, where Tippu sultan built a fort, which is now a historic tourist spot.

What struck us most was the motto of the place, 'to provide a place for purposeful pause'.

A pause is between activities. The heart has a pause, which is referred to as 'diastole', which is when the heart receives blood to pump it during the contraction of the heart (systole). This pause is life giving.

The rhythm of life that most of us is used to is: 'work and rest'. But the physiology of the heart suggests, that the rhythm is 'rest and work'. Jesus of Nazareth practiced this as his routine. He paused in prayer early in the morning before he entered into work during the day. He spent long pauses such as forty days of fasting or short times in the mountains before he chose his followers before he walked on the water. 

It is not stress or tiredness alone that calls for rest or pause, but every transition in life.

For Anna and myself this place provided us inspiration and refreshment. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)