19 October, 2012

A flower on the walkway


Anna and I noticed this flower peeping out in to the walkway through the wire netting used for fencing. It would have reached out through the netting when the flower was still a bud. Only one flower bud reached out; others stayed in the garden inside the boundary. What made this single flower bud to move into another space! We would not have the answer. This flower bud was different from the others. It decided to behave differently.

I am often asked during consultations by parents,'why this child is different from others in the family in behaviour, learning, attitudes or interests'! I too am in the dark, like the parents, to the 'why' question. 

However, let me suggest that most children who stood out differently in behaviour, attitude or temperament, etc. carry and convey an instinct of originality. Most of us are comfortable when our children are like the others. When they think or act or choose differently, as adults, we feel insecure and anxious. This pushes us to put pressure on them to conform and not to choose the unbeaten path. 

Let me share how one family responded to the aspirations of their son. Jesus of Nazareth, who lived two thousand years back, accompanied his parents to Jerusalem temple for annual worship. He decided to stay back to listen to the teachings of the Scripture and engage the religious leaders, while his parents set out on the return journey. When his mother, Mary having found him in the temple after an intense search, questioned Jesus as to why he stayed back! To which, his response was, 'Don't you know that I am to be in my Father's business'? Jesus of Nazareth went about doing good and became a messenger and minister of peace and love. His mission through suffering and resurrection opened the door of access to God for communion of love. 

When our children appear to be different, consider if they communicate something special or outstanding in their attitudes, choices or inclinations. God sends in to our midst sages, prophets and ministers of service. They are born in some of our homes. May we we be open to foster God's ways in their lives, if we find them choosing a calling that is unlike others. 

Dr. Frank and Val Garlick resigned from the faculty of Christian Medical College, Vellore in 1970 at the prime of their career, to be with medical students and doctors to encourage them in their faith journey after Jesus of Nazareth. It was this that led to the formation of the Evangelical Medical Fellowship of India in 1974. It is now 38 years since its formation. The members and friends of this fellowship, about five hundred,  would meet shortly for a conference at Mahabalipuram. Frank chose and acted differently and his efforts initiated the formation of  'fellowship of pilgrims' as it was referred to by Frank in the early days.  

An odd flower, appears to be out of place on the walk way. But it is closer to those who pass by. It is there for others. What is life lest it is lived close to others! 

M.C. Mathew (text and photo)        

   

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