Yellow, White and Red

One of my favourite flowers is Rose. 

During a recent review of my collection of photographs, I noticed that photos of Rose flowers from different places, was  the  largest number, among all the flowers in my collection. 

I have been drawn by the gentle display of its colour, texture of its petals, the formation of the petals to give it a shape, the aroma,  the way the bud evolves in to a full bloom over a few days and the way the petals drop one by one before the flower fades away only to be left with its stalk as a reminder of its earlier presence.

Every family has a particular structure, rhythm, ambience, character and relational pattern. Each family is different just as there are  rose flowers with different colours.

What is common between families is its function- to make it a home for human formation and to offer fullness of life to all those who  to belong the family.

However, it is within families, many people experience their first  encounter of discrimination.

A nine year old girl, who came to visit me last week, was referred to by her parents as lazy, moody and shabby. She started to cry in their presence, which made me feel that a private interview would be needed. My colleague and I listened to her for over an hour, of all that she was going through at home, on account of her dark body complexion, different academic performance from her brother, struggles she has in helping her mother in house keeping, etc. 

She was heart broken and did not have a sense of belonging to her family. She participated in debates, sports, dancing, dramatics and was learning two foreign languages. We felt that she was ahead of others of her age in clarity of thought, communication, personal faith and spiritual experience. From what she shared, we sensed that she was overcome with sadness and felt emotionally detached from her family. 

Family is a coming together of different people, like the petals in a rose flower, to be a coherent unit to bring fullness of life and offer joyful relationship to all its members. This is getting disrupted amidst all the pressures that come upon families due to social and existential changes taking place all around us. A family is also for the blessing of others to experience its  caring and serving presence in a community.               

Somehow, this foundational value of family life is getting overlooked. I suspect children are worst affected. 'What is salt if it has lost its saltiness', is how Jesus of Nazareth described such a situation, when families are becoming dysfunctional.

I happened to ask a seven year child, who is your best friend, to which he answered, ' Television'. Forty one out of forty three students in 6th standard wrote a composition on a theme, 'My role model' about film stars and sports persons. The three who wrote about their parents being their role model, were made to feel uncomfortable by their class mates. Children of today are experiencing a distance from their parents as many material things separate each other from developing intimacy in relationships.

It is the parents who hold the family together like the stalk that holds a rose flower. The parents make a family bloom like a rose flower. This can be facilitated in a family setting through family times of planned conversations, leisure activities, reading books of formative value as a common activity, sharing life experiences and listening to each other's views,occasions of prayer and meditation on the Scripture passages.... 

Next time, you see a rose flower, meditate on your family.

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)